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Topic : 11/03 Child Abductions

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Created on : Thursday, October 30, 2008, 03:18:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You see photos of missing kids on billboards, flyers, at the post office and even in grocery stores. Child abductions are a reality, and friends, neighbors or even relatives could kidnap your youngster! In 2002, 11-year-old Shawn Hornbeck vanished without a trace. His parents, Craig and Pam, lived their worst nightmare, until four-and-a-half years later when Shawn was found alive at the home of a child predator. Hear their emotional story and Shawn's courageous tale of how he survived captivity. Next, Jessyca was 13 when she was abducted, held captive and raped by a neighbor. After three months, she was returned home, but her mother, Monica, says she wasn't the same little girl. It's been 13 years since Jessyca's abduction, but the wounds haven't healed. Hear about the pain she still lives with every day. How can she pick up the pieces of her life? Then, in the new film, Gardens of the Night, Tom Arnold plays a pedophile who targets and manipulates an 8-year-old girl to abduct her. Hear why he and the filmmaker, Damian Harris, were compelled to make this movie. And find out the five things all parents need to know to keep their child safe. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 3, 2008, 5:04 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

Today's show really hit home for me today.  I was sexually abused by my mom's boyfriend. Starting at age 11.  It was off & on for 2 years.  My older sister was too.  He wasn't mean to me.  He was the only one in my life that ever called me pretty & said I was sweet.  It has scarred me deeply. 

 

Our parents had a vicious marriage with both being alcoholic.  Our childhood was horrendous.  We lived through many things that I have seen Hollywood movies on. We starved our whole childhood.  Our teeth were rotten & we wore rags for clothes.  We were shunned by many families.  Talk about wrong side of tracks, we were many tracks.

Once when I was around 8 or 9 I almost jumped off of a cliff to end it.  I didn't for I had to look after my little sister.

After my mother finally ran off with him for the last time life got even harder for us kids.  We had to beg for food, or steal.  Many days would go by with nothing to eat. We had no electricity, no inside toilet.  We froze in the winter time for we had no heat.  Us five kids would put together our mattresses & huddle on them to try & stay warm.

Terrible things happened to all of us.  Maybe one day I will get the chance to tell our story.

It was my misfortune to marry a someone that turned out to be vicious, sadistic, physically, verbally & emotionally abusive. So not only a terrible childhood but marriage also.  He was usually at the bar 4 out of 7 nights a week.  I had 3 daughters with him by the time I was 21. He hit me when I was pregnant, he spanked my sweet babies.  I got beat every time I hugged & cuddled my girls.  He said I was spoiling them. I had to push my feelings down.  So many horrible beatings in front of my little ones.

I finally got away & got a restraining order when I was 25 years old. 

By this time my mother had been back in my life for the last few years with the same boyfriend.  She was also telling me I was spoiling my girls.  The only one that didn't was the boyfriend.  He was always saying how sweet my oldest daughter was.  I never left her alone with him.

I by now had learned the power of alcohol and drugs I am very sad & embarrassed to say.  It turned me into a shrieking, slapping, hair pulling, mad woman to my daughters.  I didn't know that the hurt & rage I felt all of the time was because of all that had happened to me.

I also did what I thought was being a good Mom.  I made sure they had a meal cooked every night.  I made sure they had a bath every night.  I made sure they had clean clothes every day to wear to school.  Brushed & flossed teeth so no toothaches.

All the while never letting them know my childhood.  I always hated those when I was a child stories. 

 

I was in relationships where the man would tell me how to treat my daughters.  One being, to set a timer for them while eating, to be finished in that time.  My daughters always seen me taking the man's side.  They didn't see the vicious fights in the bedrooms.

 

I was the hardest on my oldest.  I grounded her over the least little thing.  I now know that I was terrified that what happened to me in my teenage years would happen to her.  I stupidly thought I was protecting her.  Now I know how I damaged her.  There are so many more horrible things I did to my precious daughters.  Not a day goes by that I don't wish that I could go back  & be the kind of Mom that I am now.  The kind of Mom I was shaping into before it got beat out out me. 

 

The point  I am trying to get to is that no matter what path your life goes down you can never get rid of the horrible things that a sadistic, vicious husband says to you.  You can never get rid of the horrible feeling in your gut that you encouraged and asked for a child molester to violate you.

They will follow you forever & haunt you every chance they get. 

All we can do is try & to keep telling ourself over & over that we weren't the bad one.

 

 

 

 
November 3, 2008, 5:10 pm CST

abduction aftermath

Quote From: bostke

I was abducted over 50 years ago and my mother's voice when I first saw her was, in my memory, an admonishing one. I was an adult before I was in therapy and hypnotized to take away a lot of the words that alluded to how ''bad" i was. unfortunately I still carry some of it with me. I work every day to praise myself and try to convince myself that I was a survivor because I did escape. Hollow words but I try.

I say that Mr. May will not ruin my life and is deceased now no doubt but one thing that upsets me is that I dont feel we can ever enpower a child to outsmart or outthink a determined pedophile who can plan around anything we tell our children. It upsets me every time I hear adults (parents, tv, experts, police) trying to do so.

 

 

These folks don't know or care the lasting damage they do to children.  You have a good point, these pedophiles are determined and creative. They will ingratiate themselves into families, especially single parent families.  They are the great family friend (fiend). Sometimes they woo the mother to get access to the children.  I am so sorry about your situation but, you seem to be working at not being a victim, you are a survivor. God Bless.

 
November 3, 2008, 5:13 pm CST

sickness is alot of BS

i always hear how predators just have a sickness. i don't care if your a petiphile or however you spell dirt bag you need to get help before you destroy lives. Everyone else will get help with there troubles but then we have to hear these rapists saying " booh whooh i can't help it" i don't believe that because we have free will and to destroy someone elses life and self image is pure evil. That person should be executed because they are just as bad as a murderor. That man doesn't even have the guts to admit it probully. I'm shure he is still saying " i didn't do anything" your day is coming and just wait until you see the demons rising from your floor. I'm sorry everyone but it  makes me have rage when i hear about these children who are abused. I hope Jessica will keep moving foward and be forever around beautiful people with loving hearts.

 
November 3, 2008, 5:17 pm CST

Jessyca

I would just like to tell Jessyca a few things:

  1. She is NOT ugly.
  2. She is NOT responsible for what happened to her.
  3. If and when the time comes I need it I hope I can display a fraction of her strength and courage.

She should be proud of herself and who she is. 

 
November 3, 2008, 5:26 pm CST

Keep ur eyes open

My name is Kristian Romero and i'm from santa fe, new mexico. on june 7,2000 my 7yr. old brother Robbie (Robert)Romero disappeared from our bellamah neighborhood. we as a family have endured much pain and scrutiny from our local police dept. so we ask that if you are reading this you familiarize yourself with our case and like Dr. Phil said, a no where lead is better than a lead that could've lead somewhere but wasn't reported. Thank you for taking time to read this, we strongly believe he is still out there and want nothing more but for his safe return home. Kristian Romero
 
November 3, 2008, 5:35 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

Jessica, God will take care of you with the great people in this lifetime. He knows you are strong enough to make it through and live your own life. This life is a gift for you and no one can take that away from you. I believe your spirit can not be broken by any type of evil in this world. Moving foward is the best way i think would help. I believe your a saint for children and grown ups that blame themselves for things that are not there fault. You influenced me to appretiate my life and to forgive people who hav hurt me. Thank you it makes me angry of what that man has done but it is beautiful to see your courage< love matthew , i love the person you are as many people will love you for who you are.
 
November 3, 2008, 5:41 pm CST

For all she's worth

Quote From: cindygale

Today's show really hit home for me today.  I was sexually abused by my mom's boyfriend. Starting at age 11.  It was off & on for 2 years.  My older sister was too.  He wasn't mean to me.  He was the only one in my life that ever called me pretty & said I was sweet.  It has scarred me deeply. 

 

Our parents had a vicious marriage with both being alcoholic.  Our childhood was horrendous.  We lived through many things that I have seen Hollywood movies on. We starved our whole childhood.  Our teeth were rotten & we wore rags for clothes.  We were shunned by many families.  Talk about wrong side of tracks, we were many tracks.

Once when I was around 8 or 9 I almost jumped off of a cliff to end it.  I didn't for I had to look after my little sister.

After my mother finally ran off with him for the last time life got even harder for us kids.  We had to beg for food, or steal.  Many days would go by with nothing to eat. We had no electricity, no inside toilet.  We froze in the winter time for we had no heat.  Us five kids would put together our mattresses & huddle on them to try & stay warm.

Terrible things happened to all of us.  Maybe one day I will get the chance to tell our story.

It was my misfortune to marry a someone that turned out to be vicious, sadistic, physically, verbally & emotionally abusive. So not only a terrible childhood but marriage also.  He was usually at the bar 4 out of 7 nights a week.  I had 3 daughters with him by the time I was 21. He hit me when I was pregnant, he spanked my sweet babies.  I got beat every time I hugged & cuddled my girls.  He said I was spoiling them. I had to push my feelings down.  So many horrible beatings in front of my little ones.

I finally got away & got a restraining order when I was 25 years old. 

By this time my mother had been back in my life for the last few years with the same boyfriend.  She was also telling me I was spoiling my girls.  The only one that didn't was the boyfriend.  He was always saying how sweet my oldest daughter was.  I never left her alone with him.

I by now had learned the power of alcohol and drugs I am very sad & embarrassed to say.  It turned me into a shrieking, slapping, hair pulling, mad woman to my daughters.  I didn't know that the hurt & rage I felt all of the time was because of all that had happened to me.

I also did what I thought was being a good Mom.  I made sure they had a meal cooked every night.  I made sure they had a bath every night.  I made sure they had clean clothes every day to wear to school.  Brushed & flossed teeth so no toothaches.

All the while never letting them know my childhood.  I always hated those when I was a child stories. 

 

I was in relationships where the man would tell me how to treat my daughters.  One being, to set a timer for them while eating, to be finished in that time.  My daughters always seen me taking the man's side.  They didn't see the vicious fights in the bedrooms.

 

I was the hardest on my oldest.  I grounded her over the least little thing.  I now know that I was terrified that what happened to me in my teenage years would happen to her.  I stupidly thought I was protecting her.  Now I know how I damaged her.  There are so many more horrible things I did to my precious daughters.  Not a day goes by that I don't wish that I could go back  & be the kind of Mom that I am now.  The kind of Mom I was shaping into before it got beat out out me. 

 

The point  I am trying to get to is that no matter what path your life goes down you can never get rid of the horrible things that a sadistic, vicious husband says to you.  You can never get rid of the horrible feeling in your gut that you encouraged and asked for a child molester to violate you.

They will follow you forever & haunt you every chance they get. 

All we can do is try & to keep telling ourself over & over that we weren't the bad one.

 

 

 

Cindygale, I understand where you're coming from.  I'm sorry your life was so hard and proud that you are now the mom you wanted to be.  I, too, was sadistically sexually molested as a child--it's a long road to wholeness after that.  For those of you who can relate, here is a poem I wrote when beginning to face and conquer my demons.  And luck and blessings to all who have had to endure.

 

For All She’s Worth

 

She has never been able

to wear her hair in curls

like her friends

who stood in the mirror

wrapping tresses around pink plastic

curlers.  She would balk at the prickly

tubes as they urged her to try

“Just this once.”

So she cut off her hair—

stylishly short before

androgyny was fad.

 

They couldn’t see him sitting there

with his flashlight and collection

of beer bottles, clothespins,

and those damn plastic curlers.

Tools of entrance.

“Tools of love,” said he.

“But don’t ever tell—if you

tell secrets you die.”

He said she was beautiful

(and stupid)

and seductive

(and worthless).

She didn’t tell.

 

She knew he’d lied because

it was death she felt as she choked

back tears that brought him to her mouth,

to her throat—her

jaws still ache.

And though she tried to grow her hair

long and straight, it is short,

stylishly short, and she wishes

just this once

that she could cry for all she’s worth.

 

jeanhppydys

 

 
November 3, 2008, 5:42 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

I deeply feel for these children who have been kidnapped and can't imagine what they've gone through or are going through but i do know what their families are going through,so i wanna say that no matter what happend to you, im sure your family loves you very much and is s o glad to have you back in their arms. you all are in our thoughts and prayers!
 
November 3, 2008, 5:45 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

Quote From: krsromero

My name is Kristian Romero and i'm from santa fe, new mexico. on june 7,2000 my 7yr. old brother Robbie (Robert)Romero disappeared from our bellamah neighborhood. we as a family have endured much pain and scrutiny from our local police dept. so we ask that if you are reading this you familiarize yourself with our case and like Dr. Phil said, a no where lead is better than a lead that could've lead somewhere but wasn't reported. Thank you for taking time to read this, we strongly believe he is still out there and want nothing more but for his safe return home. Kristian Romero
my heart goes out to you and your family.  May God bless you and bring your brother home or at least the knowledge of his outcome.  I am far from Santa Fe, but people travel.  I will familiarize myself and keep my eyes open.
 
November 3, 2008, 5:55 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

Quote From: bostke

I was abducted over 50 years ago and my mother's voice when I first saw her was, in my memory, an admonishing one. I was an adult before I was in therapy and hypnotized to take away a lot of the words that alluded to how ''bad" i was. unfortunately I still carry some of it with me. I work every day to praise myself and try to convince myself that I was a survivor because I did escape. Hollow words but I try.

I say that Mr. May will not ruin my life and is deceased now no doubt but one thing that upsets me is that I dont feel we can ever enpower a child to outsmart or outthink a determined pedophile who can plan around anything we tell our children. It upsets me every time I hear adults (parents, tv, experts, police) trying to do so.

I am sorry for what has happened to you and hope that you will find peace, but I know the pain that you feel because I too live it. We must try to enpower our children and help them so that they will not face the same demons that we do. I believe that we can help children by telling our stories. I wish you the best and hope that you can see that by teaching our children and making this more public will make the ones that prey upon children think before they try abuse them in any way. I for one feel better when people like Dr. Phil take the time to care enough about children to help. I just wish that we were taught that no one has the right to abuse children when we were children.
 
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