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November 4, 2008, 10:16 am PST
PLEASE READ DR.PHIL! TT'S LIKE WATCHING MY EXACT SITUATION( almost!):-(
I am also 25 and was tricked!!!! My journey has been too long and my heart is broken for my baby boy! But I will NEVER give up on giving him the life he deserves!!! And that includes me raising him. I have always wanted him to have his mom and dad and everyone get along and give him all the love in the world! But his father had a bad drug problem and as much as i prayed I could change him and give my son a normal life, a long hard effort prooved I couldn't. And I am aware now that being so young at the time made me nieve to the facts! At this time, his family got children services involved when he beat me up( first time) and he was taken from me. Which the day before I had a plain ticket to go be with my family and remove myself from the situation. But his mother was gona do anything to stop me from leaving with her ONLY SONS child and I couldn't see it at the time. My family had just moved out of the state so I didn't have much of a choice on who to let keep him safe until it could be resolved, so his grandmother was a lot better for him then foster care! I remember a service worker telling me it could take 60 days to resolve and that seemed like iternity! He was 4 months old and had been away from me for the first time the night before for only a few hours. And now he's 4 years old and i'm still fighting. To make a long story short, i have learned that his families intentions weren;t ever to give him back! And I trusted them! I have never sighned anything giving my rights away, AND I NEVER WILL! But the people involved in doing what's best for my son has not! The court system has been HORRIBLE and when I finally figured out that the only way I was gona get myself strong again after the long fight with children services(2yrs) was to go be with my parents, sense I had NO family support close by, was so young, and had smacked against the last brick wall and was unable to pick myself up again. It was by far the hardest decision I have ever made and i'm not sure where I got the strength but thank God I did! Because I feel stronger now then I ever have! I couldn't possibly imagine being away from him for longer then a day, which a day was EXTREMELY hard. But now I had to leave the state and try to find a way to get my life back together? This was the hardest lesson iv'e EVER learned too! I couldn't possibly put myself in front of my baby! He was and is my heart, life, world! Nothing was more important then him!!! And that's the lesson... I HAD TO put myself first!!!!!!! The most important person in his life is his mother. And if i'm not the very best I can be, then I couldn't be the best mother that he deserves. I had to love myself first, and as much as i love him!!! It took me a lot longer then I ever wanted to figure this out and to get myself ready for the biggest fight of my life! I SOOO DISLIKE calling it or reffering to it as a fight, but unfortunatly that's what it's turned into:-( She told me before I left that she was getting TEMPORARY GUARDIANSHIP to get children services out of the picture and when I got things situated in my life she would return him to me.. IT WAS A HUGE LIE!!! They got legal custodyIt was her intention from the BEGINING to keep him! She always wanted another child and her husband wouldn't give her that because he has 2 children from a previouse marriage. She waited to have her son, to do it right, and is a very wealthy realtor. But her son turned out to be a drug addict, women abuser, and have seriouse temper control problems. And now she wants a 2nd chance. I made him and carried him for 9 months and he's my God given right! And I don't understand how if she loves him(truely), then why wouldn't she want him to have his mother raise him if she's capable?? And know how important it is?? I didn't come back demanding them to give him right back. I wanted all of us to get along and work it out for HIM to have a happy, half way normal life. To transition him in a way that it wouldn't affect him in the least bit. And for ALL of us to be part of his life raising him. As much as those people have done to hurt me, my son loves them and I would never take that from him! But he deserves, as much as I do , to have me in his life more then 2 days a week, 8 hrs a day! Which is what they agreed to going on almost a year now:-( I have hired an attorney and am doing what I can. Which if I still don't get anywhere, i'm gona ask for Dr. Phil's help. I 'think' him talking to them of the importance of him having me raise him might be the only hope?? I tried getting a guardian appointed and they have not contacted either of us ( or done a home visit) and then made a decision to drop the custody motion. And the judge made my son have the same guardian that was involved when children services was. And on top of it all, the person that was the reason for him being taken and was the threat to him gets to live and raise him as if nothing even happened! Don't get me wrong, he deserves to have his father in his life as long as he's not hurting him in any way, but he also deserves to have his mom in his life more then i'm being allowed!! It's the little things that i miss most! And the small things that so many take advantage of! Just being able to wake up in the morning with him lying next to me and having the morning routines like making him breakfast and making sure he has a healthy lunch packed:-) And being able to be involved in his school and big decisions having a say so. And being able to take him to visit my grandfather up north and taking him to Disney World for the first time, or ever? Every single first has been taken from us and the saddest part of it is that we'll NEVER be able to get this time back! But I can only hope and pray for a better future and i'll NEVER give up on getting him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it takes taking it to the steps of Washington, i'll find a way:-)
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(Original Air Date: 11/04/08) Type your discussion here.How do you determine if someone is fit to be a parent? Should someone who is dependent on others for monetary help have the right to raise a child? Should someone the courts rule unfit as a parent ever be allowed to regain custody? What should you do if your parenting skills are called into question by a family member? Dr. Phil's guests are feuding mother and daughter, Barbara and Nicole, who have been battling for six years over the custody of Nicole’s son, Ethan. Barbara says she needed to take full custody of her grandson because Nicole was and is still not fit to be his mother. Barbara says she provided all the essential items when Ethan was first born, and when he needed surgery, she offered to cover the child under her health insurance. Nicole says she signed what she believed to be a temporary custody agreement to provide for her child's well-being, but says she was tricked into signing her rights away as a mother. Did Barbara have ulterior motives? Hear what Nicole's lifelong friend thinks. Then, Barbara claims her daughter broke the law to get her son back. Barbara currently has custody of the boy and claims that Nicole is a pathological liar, an inattentive parent and was living in deplorable conditions. Find out what the court documents show and what Nicole's former landlord has to say. When Dr. Phil proposes a plan for moving forward, which woman hesitates to participate? And, Nicole hasn't seen her son in more than four months. Will Barbara agree to let mother and son spend time together? Join the discussion.
