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Topic : 11/06 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 2

Number of Replies: 196
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Created on : Friday, October 31, 2008, 04:16:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his intense three-day retreat with 14 people who say they’re ready to change their lives. Struggling with issues such as addiction, anger, abuse and grief, guests confront their personal demons once and for all. After getting kicked out of the studio during Part 1, will everyone agree to stop wasting time? Part 2 introduces the remaining participants. Kaylee admits she abused her three children throughout their entire childhood. Now that they are grown and estranged from her, she says she’s ready to deal with her anger. Dr. Phil confronts Kaylee about the shocking truth of how she treated her kids. Then, throughout her childhood, Melissa’s father would share nightmare-inducing stories about how he would hypothetically kill someone and get away with it. She later learned that her father was not who she thought he was. Kelly says she blames herself for not being there for her father before he committed suicide. Jessica R. and Diona share their problems with weight and self-image, and Carina is trying to rein in her anger and hatred toward men. Jessica F. says she’s the most controlling person in the world. Nicole is so obsessed with perfection, she says she’s never had an intimate relationship, and Don is trying to come to terms with his drug-filled past. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 1, 2008, 6:40 am CDT

About Paige

I feel like she was talking about my life up there on that stage, only my relationship with another man has been 3 years. Of course I do not sleep with a night shirt of his but I wait by the phone for his call, I even put my kids on hold thinking maybe this is the night he will call and come over.
 
November 1, 2008, 2:08 pm CDT

About your gathering of people to tell the truth!

 

  Dear Dr. Phil,

 

   I am in Therapy for my childhood , were I was abused mentally & emotionally by a nieghbor and never told anyone.

   My biggest thing is trust.  This man stole away my innocence and my trust in not only people but in myself ( which is the worst Part)

  I find it extremely hard to have " TRUST" with just about anyone.  I have been married for 15yrs. this

October, and it is still hard for me toTrust.

   I know through Therapy ,which has done me wonder's.  But I have decided  to follow along with your

show, and w/me writing everything down in a Journal and then not reading it for 1day or2, I am amazed at all my feeling's ( this is with Therapy) But   

on your show - I was amazed again at what came out of me. ( I again waited to read what I wrote!!)

   I have not had it easy, I had to have a Hystro. at 35yrs.old,( caused by Cancer!!) and then right into menopause. And last year I was rushed to the Hospital for what I thought was a Stomach Virus, it ended up being so much worse ( after leaving a Dr., for a 2nd Opinion - I found out  have a very rare Gentic Blood Dis-order!) I was very proud of myself for getting the 2nd Opinion which in the ended up saving my life.

   But back to your show, in the beginning of the show you left them alone for some minute's and I said to my Husband,  I will bet you anything he is watching them to see how they use the time. And I was right.

   I do not feel you are attacking anyone , some people really need to have it thrown in there face ( THE REAL TRUTH!!  THAT IS!!) It hurt's like HECK!!, but once you acknowlage it, it can becom so much eaiser!

   No More lying to yourself, which in the end , you are only hurting YOURSELF!

   I will be doing your workshop's, along w/my therapy.  It cannot hurt and it is opening up more for me to explore.

  

   I COMMEND YOU FOR THE CONTROL OF YOUR FEELING'S, BUT I FEEL THESE PEOPLE HAVE

BEEN HIDING FOR TOO LONG.

   I LOOK FORWARD TO PART 2, MY THERAPIST LIKE'S THAT I AM DOING IT ALSO.

 

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR DOING IT , IT IS HELPING SOME OF US THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

 

ZACK67

RHODE ISLAND

  

 
November 1, 2008, 2:10 pm CDT

DoctorPhil Show.

Doctor Get Part Phil Real Retreat Two. What happen  to one Part on Doctor Get Phil Real Retreat? See yo--

u on Thursday November 06th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-------------------------------------------- 

 
November 2, 2008, 6:54 am CST

Dr. Phil

I am in denial about everything that has happened to me in my life.  I am 33 years old and I was sexually assulted by a f ormer high school councelor when I was in my late 20s up until last year and that is when I stopped it.  It all started when his wife passed away and I hated it from day one when he was hurting me emotionally and physically.  I was already diagnosed with major depression and I was not in my right mind when all this was happening.  When this person retired he moved to Missouri and I would go and see him to get away from my stressors at home.  At the time I was living with my parents and my mom and dad would yell at me for anything so I had to get away from them and from work.  I have been living on my own for 5 years now.  I was diagnosed with PTSD because of what he had done to me.  I keep thinking that it is my fault for letting this happen to me and I feel like it is my fault too. 

    My grandpa had a heart attack and a stroke around halloween in 1993.  I was at a halloween party that one of my friends church's was putting on.  When I came home none of my family was home and I waited up for a long time.  The next morning I asked my mom and dad what had happen the night before they said that my grandpa had a heart attack and a stroke and I started crying.  My dad told me that everybody has a heart attack and a stroke and that I needed to get over it.  I keep thinking it is my fault that my grandpa had a heart attack and a stroke and I feel like it is my fault too.  I am so angry that he got sick even though it happened in 1993.  In Dec. of 2005 my grandpa passed away and I keep thinking it is my fault for him passing away and I don't want it to be my fault for him passing away.  I am so angry that my grandpa passed away and I haven't got over the anger that I have.  There are somedays that I would like to end my life because I have all of this hurt and pain and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.  I see a therapist and I tell him about how I feel, but sometimes I have a hard time understanding how I feel.

 
November 2, 2008, 4:30 pm CST

Paige Speaking

Hi. You either like me or you hate me.  I knew that when I agreed to be part of the retreat.  I figured that half the audience could relate to this topic from one side or the other and I expected to be judged and I expected to be felt sorry for. 

 

You all only know a teeny tiny bit of what I'm really about.  You know nothing of how the relationship began, under what circumstances it advanced nor how it is today.

 

My story is very likely common.  I would guess that there are thousands of "other women" hiding in the shadows, waiting for the text light to come on on their cell phone, waiting for a 20 minute visit as he's on his way home or to work.

 

It seems that you women who are blaming me "the other woman" for presenting the opportunity of an affair to the married men probably need to look at your own shortcomings before delving into mine.  Let's face it, we're all imperfect.  Not a single solitary one of you can cast a stone without bearing the shame of your own sins.  Tsk tsk tsk. 

 

I agreed to appear on the show as a means to reach out to other women who are not yet in this situation, but may one day find the chance to be there ...I need them to not make the same mistakes I have made.  It was my goal to reach out and help save someone from the shadows.

 

I resent anyone passing judgement without identifying a fault of their own.  Seriously ??  You're all without sin ??  Wow, I'm blessed to know that such a being exists in this world.  Take all the shots at me that you want, I expected you to.  But I challenge you to compare my shortcomings to something you've done that may also be considered "taboo" ...go on, take my challenge, say what you want about me without knowing me but tell me a little something about yourself that you're not so proud of so I know that we have a level playing field.

 

I am restricted to what I can write so-as not to indicate how the retreat progresses, you will see for yourselves if you watch. 

 

To all of you who are supporting me thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

 

To those of you who are living as "the other woman" I beg you to look in a mirror and find your beauty.  Please, I'm not expecting you to fall out of love with him ...just try to fall in love with yourself again.  If you're living in the shadows I know how cold it can be, how lonely and dark.  Turn on the lights, turn up the heat, make yourself warm and comfortable and start to feel ok about being with yourself again.  Try not to think of him every second of every day.  Try not to leave your cell phone on in fear of missing that call that comes but once in a blue moon.  Try not to go to bed lonely ...it's ok to go to bed alone, just don't let yourself be lonely. 

 

I could go on and on.

 

I do not hold grudges in my life.  I don't blame any of you for hating me or what I've done.  I deserve your remarks. 

 

On this Sunday night, November 1, 2008 ~ I love you all. 

 

 

 
November 2, 2008, 4:35 pm CST

Hi :)

Quote From: littlebird12

I feel like she was talking about my life up there on that stage, only my relationship with another man has been 3 years. Of course I do not sleep with a night shirt of his but I wait by the phone for his call, I even put my kids on hold thinking maybe this is the night he will call and come over.
Yes, there are those nights where we wait ....and wait ....and wait ...hoping that tonight is the night that he will call and come over.  Silly us.  Poor us.  Stupid us.  I have wasted so much time waiting for my phone to ring it's just ridiculous.  You speak of your relationship in the current tense ...please try to love yourself more than you love him ...I think that's the secret to staying sane as the other woman.  I think it's the only way to maintain control.  Please look in the mirror as soon as you can, look into those big beautiful eyes and see the woman that everyone else sees.  Let yourself find beauty in the mirror.  Let yourself feel proud at the end of each day just for being you.  I promise I'll send good thoughts your way. :)  Thank you for your support.
 
November 3, 2008, 7:36 pm CST

divorced twice?

Quote From: paigeroxanne

Hi. You either like me or you hate me.  I knew that when I agreed to be part of the retreat.  I figured that half the audience could relate to this topic from one side or the other and I expected to be judged and I expected to be felt sorry for. 

 

You all only know a teeny tiny bit of what I'm really about.  You know nothing of how the relationship began, under what circumstances it advanced nor how it is today.

 

My story is very likely common.  I would guess that there are thousands of "other women" hiding in the shadows, waiting for the text light to come on on their cell phone, waiting for a 20 minute visit as he's on his way home or to work.

 

It seems that you women who are blaming me "the other woman" for presenting the opportunity of an affair to the married men probably need to look at your own shortcomings before delving into mine.  Let's face it, we're all imperfect.  Not a single solitary one of you can cast a stone without bearing the shame of your own sins.  Tsk tsk tsk. 

 

I agreed to appear on the show as a means to reach out to other women who are not yet in this situation, but may one day find the chance to be there ...I need them to not make the same mistakes I have made.  It was my goal to reach out and help save someone from the shadows.

 

I resent anyone passing judgement without identifying a fault of their own.  Seriously ??  You're all without sin ??  Wow, I'm blessed to know that such a being exists in this world.  Take all the shots at me that you want, I expected you to.  But I challenge you to compare my shortcomings to something you've done that may also be considered "taboo" ...go on, take my challenge, say what you want about me without knowing me but tell me a little something about yourself that you're not so proud of so I know that we have a level playing field.

 

I am restricted to what I can write so-as not to indicate how the retreat progresses, you will see for yourselves if you watch. 

 

To all of you who are supporting me thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

 

To those of you who are living as "the other woman" I beg you to look in a mirror and find your beauty.  Please, I'm not expecting you to fall out of love with him ...just try to fall in love with yourself again.  If you're living in the shadows I know how cold it can be, how lonely and dark.  Turn on the lights, turn up the heat, make yourself warm and comfortable and start to feel ok about being with yourself again.  Try not to think of him every second of every day.  Try not to leave your cell phone on in fear of missing that call that comes but once in a blue moon.  Try not to go to bed lonely ...it's ok to go to bed alone, just don't let yourself be lonely. 

 

I could go on and on.

 

I do not hold grudges in my life.  I don't blame any of you for hating me or what I've done.  I deserve your remarks. 

 

On this Sunday night, November 1, 2008 I love you all. 

 

 

how many times were you cheated on?  how did it make you feel?
 
November 4, 2008, 4:33 am CST

otherwoman

to the women who is shaming paige, I agree, with the other post, why are you blaming the other women, you should hold your husband solely responsible, he is the one who made a vow to you not her, she is not pulling his leg, if your husbands WANTS to cheat on you he will and if its not one women it s the next, you don't  even know what kind of sad story your husband is telling her maybe he says hes with you becouse of your children, does that make him sound so bad, no women would ever want him, i don't think so, if your husband has had multiple affairs, I doubt he will change, he doesn't respect your marriage or you, and if you know he has stop being so gullible, accept it or leave him or live in denial like so many other women but before, you lash out at the other women about her self worth, where is yours
 
November 4, 2008, 9:48 am CST

To Paige

Quote From: paigeroxanne

Hi. You either like me or you hate me.  I knew that when I agreed to be part of the retreat.  I figured that half the audience could relate to this topic from one side or the other and I expected to be judged and I expected to be felt sorry for. 

 

You all only know a teeny tiny bit of what I'm really about.  You know nothing of how the relationship began, under what circumstances it advanced nor how it is today.

 

My story is very likely common.  I would guess that there are thousands of "other women" hiding in the shadows, waiting for the text light to come on on their cell phone, waiting for a 20 minute visit as he's on his way home or to work.

 

It seems that you women who are blaming me "the other woman" for presenting the opportunity of an affair to the married men probably need to look at your own shortcomings before delving into mine.  Let's face it, we're all imperfect.  Not a single solitary one of you can cast a stone without bearing the shame of your own sins.  Tsk tsk tsk. 

 

I agreed to appear on the show as a means to reach out to other women who are not yet in this situation, but may one day find the chance to be there ...I need them to not make the same mistakes I have made.  It was my goal to reach out and help save someone from the shadows.

 

I resent anyone passing judgement without identifying a fault of their own.  Seriously ??  You're all without sin ??  Wow, I'm blessed to know that such a being exists in this world.  Take all the shots at me that you want, I expected you to.  But I challenge you to compare my shortcomings to something you've done that may also be considered "taboo" ...go on, take my challenge, say what you want about me without knowing me but tell me a little something about yourself that you're not so proud of so I know that we have a level playing field.

 

I am restricted to what I can write so-as not to indicate how the retreat progresses, you will see for yourselves if you watch. 

 

To all of you who are supporting me thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

 

To those of you who are living as "the other woman" I beg you to look in a mirror and find your beauty.  Please, I'm not expecting you to fall out of love with him ...just try to fall in love with yourself again.  If you're living in the shadows I know how cold it can be, how lonely and dark.  Turn on the lights, turn up the heat, make yourself warm and comfortable and start to feel ok about being with yourself again.  Try not to think of him every second of every day.  Try not to leave your cell phone on in fear of missing that call that comes but once in a blue moon.  Try not to go to bed lonely ...it's ok to go to bed alone, just don't let yourself be lonely. 

 

I could go on and on.

 

I do not hold grudges in my life.  I don't blame any of you for hating me or what I've done.  I deserve your remarks. 

 

On this Sunday night, November 1, 2008 I love you all. 

 

 

Paige,

My heart goes out to you after reading your post.  I know exactly how you feel, not because of the affair but because I was one of the 42 people on the Oprah show that did this with Dr. Phil 8 years ago.  It hurts to read posts that are critical of what you've said or done, especially when they are judging you without even knowing you.  Just remember that you are a good person who has made some bad choices (who hasn't??) and what you're doing is very brave.  There aren't many people who would have the courage to air their laundry on world wide TV.  Find the value in these posts, Paige, and if there isn't any then let it go.  If someone calls you a bank robber it doesn't mean you're a bank robber.  You know your heart.  If you need to make changes then make them but don't allow others to make them for you. 

 

If anyone in interested in doing this work for yourself and if you have the courage to really Get Real, Dr. Phil's program is called Pathways and is located in Dallas.  Check it out at createagreatlife.com

 
November 5, 2008, 4:51 pm CST

Well, let's see ...

Quote From: saycoopryd

how many times were you cheated on?  how did it make you feel?
I don't honestly know if I was ever cheated on.  I may have been but not been aware of it.  I may even have had strong feelings that I was being cheated on.  You ask "how did it make me feel?" ...well, hypothetically speaking, if had  been cheated on I might have felt hurt, I might have felt angry, I might have felt empowered.  Regardless of how I felt I would want to know what relationships shoud grow from that point on, trying to keep everyone's best interest at heart.  Let's face it, if a man cheats on his wife, whether or not the other woman knows he is married, is it simply time for him to move on?  Everyone knows that the divorce rate sits around 50%, there are many many reasons for divorce, adultery is one of them.  That realization gives the power to the wife.  Pick up, pack up and move on.  Why would a married woman stay with a man who cheats repeatedly?  Perhaps it is their self esteem that is in question here as well as mine.  I'm working on mine, I hope the rest of you "stone throwers" are working on yours too. 
 
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