Quote From: mellainYou got it. That was ALL I was trying to show in coming on the show. I wanted other young mothers to know that it is not easy and that all the responsibility is on us. The men can still be free and it's okay because it's the social norm, but if we even feel like we need help look at how we are treated. I asked for help and half the viewers ridiculed me. Where is my family you all ask? I have none within 4 hours of me. Neither can I move closer to them. Even if I did, there isn't much they could do.
I don't want to give them up. I wanted help. Now I have DYFS (children's services) at my door asking me if I abuse or neglect my children, wanting to take them from me. I do not hurt them. I take extremely good care of them, I am nice to them, I put them before myself. I am finishing up my second semester at college right now and I have enrolled in next semester as full time again. I will not be giving up my education. Even if 'miss nevada' in the audience thought I was selfish for going to school and she thinks 'it's all about me' it's not. My children need me to do this, they need me to take this opprotunity and be in school and get a degree so I can at least do something better for them than I could without it, working wal-mart and waitressing just to make ends meet.
The father of my first child is almost 30 now, I just turned 20. I did not know what I was doing at 16 as well as I thought, but he did. With that said, I know I made mistakes but I am doing the best I can. None of you are going to adopt my children. I can do this. I just needed help.
But I want to say something to all mothers everywhere:
we don't need to give up who we are as individuals for our children, we don't need to be isolated in order to raise productivechildren. We CAN go to school. We don't need to work 2 dead endjobs to bring in an income. We can suffer for a little to get aneducation and use it to have careers, and this short period of timewith less money will not permanently damage our children. It's for thegreater good, and not just for ourselves but for the welfare andfutures of our children. We don't need to be silently suffering inbetween the walls of our homes, decorating and baking, afraid to have anight out once a week because we will be looked down upon for not being'real mothers.'
A real mother is someone who balances herself AND her children.
I'msick of society telling me what's going to make my children happy. I'mnot saying we be selfish, but we cannot lose ourselves. Our lives arenot 'over' or given up for our children. Certain activities, yes, butnot all. Certain ways of acting, yes, but not all. We can't move alongas fast as non-parents but we CAN get a degree, we can earn a position,we can.
Just because you work a full-time job at, say, Pizza Hut, does this makeyour life devoted and revolving around the company? Or do you getbreaks during shifts? Don't you get vacation time? Don't you have otheremployees working with you at any given time to get the job done? Howis being a full-time parent any different? We need breaks, we need asupport system, and when we aren't working we need to take off our'aprons' and honor student bumper stickers and be who we are as PEOPLE.
Without society telling us we're terrible human beings for it.
Youdo NOT need to isolate yourself just because you had children. But thisdoesn't give you an excuse to be out partying more than you are home ordoing activities that can hurt or influence your children in a bad way.This does not give you the right to total freedom from yourresponsibilities. That is not what I am advocating. I am speaking for the mom's who are scared of being themselves, whohave tried to go out once a week and had a man or an old-fashionedmother tell her she is selfish and uncaring of her children.
Ifyou isolate a mother, you take away her light. Without that light shecan't lead her children in the direction of happiness. You keep amother feeling trapped and she WILL take it out on her children, shewill lose her patience, she will raise troubled people. More often thannot.
I want to change this. For all the real parents out therewho love their children, who did give up their life. You don't need togive up all of it.
Parents are people, too.
I'm glad you poasted a quote with my comment.... I thought maybe you would be even more upset about the turnout of this than you are. It seems like you taking everything like a trooper! I e-mailed you at the e-mail address you provided in your other post. I don't know where you're located but if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here! Even if it's just to "vent" lol. I hope things get better for you soon and stay strong b/c things will get better... you are determined.... and theres nothing stronger than an educated and determined mother! :D One day your little girls will be able to say "We may not have had all the money we would have liked but we had our mother, and she was strong, devoted to us, and did everything she could to make sure we had what we needed. Now, shes a successful woman with a career who we look up to and love very much!"
Abandoning a child is largely considered the worst thing a parent could do … or is it? As an alternative to leaving unwanted babies to starve in dumpsters and alleys, many states have enacted a safe haven law, which provides the option of leaving the child in a safe place, such as a hospital or fire station, with no questions asked. Nebraska was the last state to enact the law; and did so without an age restriction. As a result, there has been a recent spate of parents dropping off grown teenagers to the care of the state! Should an age limit be set? When Courtney, 34, became overwhelmed with caring for her 15-year-old daughter, she says she used the loophole in the law to get her daughter the care she needed. Was this an act of abandonment, or a mother’s last resort? Next, abandoned at an airport at just 10 days old, Elizabeth was given the nickname “Delta Dawn” by the pilots who found her, and Michael, left in a trash can by his birth mother, was saved by a night watchman. Learn how their lives played out and hear the lasting repercussions of their abandonment. Then, meet Elizabeth, a 20-year-old mother of two who says she is considering giving up her daughters. Would her decision be in the best interest of the children? And, when Maria, at age 16, unexpectedly gave birth on her bathroom floor, she says she stabbed the baby with a pair of scissors. Find out what drove her to such drastic measures. Join the discussion.
