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Topic : 11/13 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 3

Number of Replies: 166
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Created on : Friday, November 07, 2008, 02:46:30 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
In his bold new series where 14 people get real about their lives, Dr. Phil leads his guests through an exercise that lifts the weight of their burdens off their shoulders. Then, Dr. Phil tells the participants to pair up with a buddy -- someone they can rely on throughout the retreat. When Kelly, whose father committed suicide, partners with Kathleen, who often thinks about taking her own life, Kelly finds her purpose in the retreat and makes a commitment to Kathleen. But will Kathleen accept Dr. Phil’s proposal to keep her safe? Then, it’s an emotional day in the studio as the guests share the heartbreaking moment in their lives when they became a victim. Wade moves the group to tears when he recounts the day his life changed forever. Will the participants find emotional closure on their pasts and take a step toward a healthier future? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 13, 2008, 7:38 am CST

Today's show

These past three weeks of the Get Real retreat has been great.  I wish you would do more shows like this.  The whole world is hurting with all the same reasons and we all need help.  I pray that each one of these people walked away with some hope that life does not have to be this ugly.  You alway say life is what we make of it.  I'm sitting here crying  hurting for these people and thinking about my own life.  WOW!  My eyes are opened.  Do more retreats like this. 
 
November 13, 2008, 8:03 am CST

My heart goes out to all these people in the "retreat"....

      This is a power-filled episode....which will heal many more than just those in the retreat getting therapy.  I have such admiration for Wade, because it is so difficult for a man to share such a story.  My heart broke hearing his story.  My prayers go out to all these survivors.  My hope is that their lives are successful, not only from outside perceptions...but from within their souls.  They deserve to be healed from what was unjustly done to them.  Communication is the key to healing all that darkens our perspectives, and lives.  (((hugs))) to you all.  Best wishes,  Anne from MI
 
November 13, 2008, 8:35 am CST

I feel Corinna's pain

I grew up just like Corrina, having to defend myself, my mother, and two younger brothers from my dad.  He was a mild alcoholic (if there is such a thing) and would end up taking his unhappiness out on everyone else, hitting my mom and me.  You would never know it if you saw him now.  He's mild mannered and sweet and even my husband, who came along much later doesn't believe my dad did the things he did. 

 

When I was 15, I turned on him while he was hitting me and fought back.  I literally went crazy, punching, kicking, breaking his glasses, etc.  He never hit me again.  But I was already so damaged emotionally.  I spent my whole childhood in my room, reading for hours a day.  The emotional vacuum we lived in went on forever.  My parents thought I was such a good child, - Quiet, did well in school, etc.  How normal is that though?  Being nine years old and reading literally 6 hours a day? As I became a teenager, I latched onto my boyfriend (along with my books).  Luckily for me he was (and is) a good guy who did truly love me.  I left home as soon as I could.  At 17 I was living on my own.  All this independence was good in some ways, I've worked hard, have a graduate degree, been successful, etc.  But the reasons behind all this "success" are a little twisted.   My friends would be shocked to know the "real" me. 

 

The only emotion showed in my house was anger.  Not once to this day have my parents said, "I love you" or "I'm proud of you". Never.  As a result, I am emotionally stilted.  I can't get beyond it.  I can't show those that I love how much I love them.  I am also incapable of accepting love.  I have friends who hug and kiss every time they see each other and I cringe as they're coming at me.  I send out these "don't touch me"  and "keep your distance" vibes.  I hate myself, the way I look, the way I am.  By outwards appearances, I am successful, with a business of my own, a good marriage, and well adjusted kids.  So why do I feel so awful all the time?  I'm working on trying to purge these feelings with very little success.  Depression and self hatred have been a constant in my life. 

 

I am watching Corrina for some indication of how to get beyond this.  Hopefully her experiences will shed some light on my situation.

 

Wade, I just want to hold you.  You were so damaged by that pig.  I pray for your peace. 

 
November 13, 2008, 8:35 am CST

I can identify with about half the people there!

Dr. Phil,

 

I want to thank you very much for having this get real retreat.  I am currently in recovery myself for my addiction to drugs and alcohol.  My pain is a long time of childhood traumas.  I am the baby of the family, I have three older sibling's from my mom.  My mom was manic-depressive bi polar.  So she was in and out of the hospital a lot when I was younger.  I have never really accepted that she tried to be there for me as much as she could.  When I was 4 years old I was molested by two teenager boys in the neighborhood.  I never told anyone till I got older.  I have not dealt with this yet either.  I started drinking and doing drugs at 13 years old.  I am now 32 years old.  My mom just passed away 2 years ago.  I didn't deal with that either in my life.  I ran to the drugs.  I just got my butt into recovery within the last 6 months and it is helping.  When I turned 15 my mom's health got worst and she had two open heart surgeries.  The second open heart surgery she almost died on the operating table and no one told me she had that surgery.  I was told after the surgery she might have died.  I live with this each and every day of my life.  She made it through though.  She had a stroke while in surgery and she was in the hospital for 72 days.  She made a recovery, then she came home and my dad had said he wanted a divorce.  I was homeless for a point in my life cause of my addiction.  When I came back home it was then that my mom left to go live in Ohio.  She finally did come home 1 year before her death.  I had to be her caretaker most of the time.  I am so full of guilt at times it is not something I share.  I understand each one of these people's own stories cause I can identify with myself.  I have my grandmother now from my mom's side who acts as if I don't exist at times.  I am dealing with a lot of crap right now at once.  But I just Thank God for my family in recovery and through my church they help me get through all of this stuff I have in my life.  This is really hard for me to put out like this.

 

Thanks for letting me share,

 

S.

 
November 13, 2008, 10:31 am CST

I feel lucky....

Although I didn't have the traumatic childhood of many of the guests on the Get Real Retreat, I did have my traumas later on as a young wife and mother....as well as many down through the years....and they were very devastating.

 

The difference is that before I had to deal with those traumas, while I was still a child, I had been given the self-confidence, strength and the knowledge that I was loved by, and had the support of, my parents. I see now how very important that was in allowing me to get through the tough times later on!

 

My heart goes out to all of you out there, as well as those on the show, who had way more serious problems, way earlier than I did. It's amazing how things get put into perspective.

 

We ALL have our stories....some are just more difficult than others.

 

I feel lucky.  

 
November 13, 2008, 11:56 am CST

re: anger toward my dad's suicide

I'm watching the show and i see the guest who is extremely upset and angry about her dad committing suicide. I know exactly how she feels. My dad committed suicide too. This year was the 8 year anniversary of his death. The only differences in my story is the way he did it and where he did it. My dad left our house one morning like any other day. There was no indication of any kind that he was never going to come back. When he didn't come home that day (after what should have been the end of his work day), my mom and I got very worried. My dad was not the kind of person to be gone all day then all night. He never even missed dinner! It took the police about three days to find my dad. They didn't actually find him, the environmental police found him. He was in his van parked on a logging road in the woods. He had asphixiated himself. The place he chose to do it was in an area near where we used to go camping every summer. He had pictures of the family with him and he wrote a letter to each of his kids and his wife(my mom). I wish I could have done something to help my dad. I just hate that I have to live with his decision for the rest of my life. I would have done anything for him. One thing about my dad though was he was the most brilliant man I have ever known. He never gave us any clues of what he was going to do. I do know that a person who decides to take their own life isn't thinking the way that we think. There's nothing rational about what they do. That's all I can really say on this. God Bless,  P Haluch
 
November 13, 2008, 12:29 pm CST

On the brink

I have no reason to live. I have made my decision to leave this life. Looking at complete past to now I see the hand I was dealt, as well as bad choices made, I've decided that there is no reason to go on any further. I am mentally and physically drained and empty. I just pray that God will accept me for the flaws within me considering that this was how I was created and turned out to be. Hope to see you, as well as be seen on the other side.
 
November 13, 2008, 12:57 pm CST

Thank you Dr. Phil

I can relate to so many of these stories. I watch the Dr. Phil show regularly, I like a lot of people don't know how to move on in life. I've just graduate highschool and I can't get over my childhood. My father came from a bad past as a child his mother leaving the country when he was two months, remarrying six times, moving between Canada and the USA yearly, etc. But no matter what he always took out his anger and problems upon myself. He had and still has a drinking problem, I got emotionally and physically abused on a daily basis, I remember going to bed with no supper and pretending to sleep while he yelled and hit my mother, and I'd constantly stand up to him and just recieve a worse punishment. My mom doesn't seem to understand that all this is a problem she says she can't financially support myself or my brother. My brother was always seen as a perfect child in the eyes as my father, I have lached onto my boyfriend at an early age, constantly rebelling against my parents, having anger issues, and being mean to other people. I don't know how to move on with my life without holding onto as much anger as I have towards my father for what he did to me, and to my mother for thinking that buying me stuff would heal all wounds. No one even acknowledges theres any problem. Thank you Dr. Phil for doing this retreat. I find myself crying during each episode, I've been told I am to mature for being only 18 but what other choice did I have.
 
November 13, 2008, 1:01 pm CST

Wade

Upset is not the word I am feeling right now.  I just saw Wade and was brought to tears. This is the first time I have cried over something I've seen on TV. I feel so awful for him.  I pray he gets better. I'm really at a loss for words I am so sad.
 
November 13, 2008, 1:11 pm CST

11/13 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 3

Quote From: deathisnear

I have no reason to live. I have made my decision to leave this life. Looking at complete past to now I see the hand I was dealt, as well as bad choices made, I've decided that there is no reason to go on any further. I am mentally and physically drained and empty. I just pray that God will accept me for the flaws within me considering that this was how I was created and turned out to be. Hope to see you, as well as be seen on the other side.
Everyone has a reason to live.  You just havent found yours yet.  Checking out early you will never find it.  Please hold on to what you have and remember you are never alone!!
 
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