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Topic : 11/13 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 3

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Created on : Friday, November 07, 2008, 02:46:30 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
In his bold new series where 14 people get real about their lives, Dr. Phil leads his guests through an exercise that lifts the weight of their burdens off their shoulders. Then, Dr. Phil tells the participants to pair up with a buddy -- someone they can rely on throughout the retreat. When Kelly, whose father committed suicide, partners with Kathleen, who often thinks about taking her own life, Kelly finds her purpose in the retreat and makes a commitment to Kathleen. But will Kathleen accept Dr. Phil’s proposal to keep her safe? Then, it’s an emotional day in the studio as the guests share the heartbreaking moment in their lives when they became a victim. Wade moves the group to tears when he recounts the day his life changed forever. Will the participants find emotional closure on their pasts and take a step toward a healthier future? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 13, 2008, 2:10 pm CST

no reason to live

Quote From: deathisnear

I have no reason to live. I have made my decision to leave this life. Looking at complete past to now I see the hand I was dealt, as well as bad choices made, I've decided that there is no reason to go on any further. I am mentally and physically drained and empty. I just pray that God will accept me for the flaws within me considering that this was how I was created and turned out to be. Hope to see you, as well as be seen on the other side.
Every night when I go to bed I pray for death to take me. I have tried to commit suicide twice but even failed at that. I was in counseling for over six years and got a lot out of it. I have been on countless numbers of antidepressants that work for a while but never more than a few months. I've been hospitalized three times, but nothing seems to help. It is a daily struggle for me to not take a whole bottle of pills, drive off a bridge jump into traffic. One thing I do know for sure is that if I died, my daughter would never recover. The thought of her is what keeps me going even on my darkest days. I could never hurt her like that. Think about the people who love you, get help and live the life God has given you.
 
November 13, 2008, 2:17 pm CST

Im Shattered and Lost

Hi, my name is Catherine...and I am at the end of my rope.. I cant seem to pick myself up and get on my with my life. I am an alcoholic and a drug addict..and have been since I was a young teenager..I am now almost 22 and cant hold down a job cant live with my parents, my car is about to be repoed and im behind on my insurance. I cant come to terms with the decisions I have made that have gotten me here. I have dropped out of school, im in credit card debt. My parents have closed there doors and wallets to make sure they arent enabling me.. because they know if they give me any money I will immediately go to the bar... and drink my problems away. My life sucks and alot has to do with the things that happened to me as a child..I didnt have a bad childhood it was just rough.. the fighting the leaving the screaming..the abuse..from my stepdad..the divorce...the drugs and alcohol made me feel better, and I soon became and addict by the time I was 12...and was up to a pack of cigerattes since I was 14..When will anything get any better..how to I get out of the hole I have dug for myself. I am never going to get married who wants a fat, overbearing pycho with bad credit no job or soon to be no car? Most people my age are doing things right having fun and potentially with the person they might marry...No of this will happen for me and I know it..the bad part this past year...has been the worst..since my son died..every one of my friends has had kids and they have all been boys I cant even go to a baby shower or babysit because it is just to much to handle I havent been able to deal with the death of my son..I was only 24 weeks, but the bond I had with my child happened the minute I found out I was pregnant and it never went away. I am fighting my inner demons and they are winning because  I am ready to give up...I have no money no life..no dreams or hopes.. I have nothing but a pile of failure... I dont know what to do? Any suggestions?
 
November 13, 2008, 2:18 pm CST

My life

I, too, was a victim of molestation.  I was molested when I was 7 or 8 years old.  I told an adult about it and they in turn told my mom.  My mom blamed me for it and I got a belt whipping for it.  Then the boy's father molested me because he knew I would be too afraid to tell anyone again.  I have had a lot of anger at the world because of this. 
 
November 13, 2008, 2:19 pm CST

11/13 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 3

Quote From: shielat

Upset is not the word I am feeling right now.  I just saw Wade and was brought to tears. This is the first time I have cried over something I've seen on TV. I feel so awful for him.  I pray he gets better. I'm really at a loss for words I am so sad.
Wade comes across as such a nice guy. I wish him peace. He is very articulate. When he was recounting his story I could see him as a child struggling, it gives me rescue fantasies. When he said that he died that day I wanted to tell him he lived that day, and so many of our children do not.
 
November 13, 2008, 2:35 pm CST

suicidal thoughts

Quote From: nochoice

Ifeel like this almost everyday. I feel like I just don't matter. I want to just make the pain go away. My heart aches for what is lost to me forever.  I pray I watch Joel Olsteen and nothing makes a differance. I understand your pain.

I also used to think of suicide 3-5 times a day. My father suffered bouts of angry depression. He'd beat us & say things like "why don't you get a gun and blow your brains out?"  This only happened 4 or 5 times a year but it was enough to mess up my mind. I tried talk therapy, art therapy, primal scream therapy. I kept very busy--I worked 3 jobs & put myself through college, believing what everyone said in those days "get a good education and you can do anything you want." I taught high school, learned computers, taught computers. I married a great guy, got back into therapy.  Then---miracle---my MD told me to see a medications specialist. That Dr. put me on seroquel. He told me it might take 4-6 weeks to begin working. I was so frustrated with all the talk therapy, willing to give this a try.  YES!  In the 5th week, ALL thoughts of suicide were gone. You can google seroquel + Mayo Clinic & you'll see it has been clinically proven as an effective Rx against suicidal depression.  I've been on seroquel with Depakote now for over 10 years & when thoughts like that pop into my head, I can banish them by just saying "no way." Prior to taking the meds, those thoughts dominated my entire day.

 

And I want to say that Dr. Phil is WRONG about people who commit suicide.  They are NOT incredibly selfish as he says over & over.  They are in Hell.  I get seizures (partial atonic/clonic) and in those seizures, I will be doing a physical action, like sorting through papers. I am aware that I am doing this but cannot stop. I am not aware of anyone around me during the seizures.  When I come out of the seizure, there is torn up paper all over the floor (or paint all over the walls, or whatever).  It is not within my ability to stop this action. I have read articles in journals like the Johns Hopkins Medical Journal which say there is similar damage in the brains of people who are severely depressed & those who have partial seizures.

 

I have read numerous books by people who tried suicide but were rescued.  They are in a  Black Hole & ONLY have the conscious ability to get a gun & shoot it, or swallow sleeping pills or tie a knot in a rope.  These are automatic actions brought on by the brain's dysfunction. It's not as if they think "Oh, let me think of the Best way to hurt people who love me!"  NOT at all!  Whenever I have been suicidal, it's just this repeating thought over & over, wanting to die, to get away from the pain.

 

Dr. Phil is a healthy indiviudal with a lot of training but he is wrong, wrong, wrong about how super depressive people think.  And he ought to be letting people know that there are prescriptions which, when taken with an MD's supervision, can SAVE YOUR LIFE

 
November 13, 2008, 2:36 pm CST

Sexual Abuse

I watched the show today and should not have. I am a victim of a rape by a Physician who I thought

was a friend and I was going through a very difficult time in my life.  This was about 15 years ago and is still on my mind. It was not reported due to circumstances at the time. I feel badly for other women who may have suffered because of this.

 
November 13, 2008, 2:53 pm CST

angry

my sympathy goes out to all those poor guests on the Dr. Phil show for the get real retreat and i give them all alot of courage to be able to come out and share their story. i can actually relate to disfunctional realationships and marriages due to what i went through as a child. I wish i could go to alot of counsleing but with no ins its tough and i make bad decisions and live my life the best i can and read self-help books. This show really brought alot out in me and now i don't feel as alone. I'm 55 and divorced x 3 never could have children, I continue to feel rejection and everything that happens to me in my life it makes me a stronger person and i wont let someone walk on me either. i'm dealing with anger the best i can, i know its not my fault as Dr. Phil mentioned, but its hard sometimes for people you care for to really understand what we go through on a daily basis. both my parents were alcoholics also and im been abused left home at 18 and got married the 1st time have alot more just wont have enou gh paper if someone wants to talk please email me, it does feel good to let it out   thanks
 
November 13, 2008, 2:58 pm CST

My secret shame

I live with secrets everyday of my life.  I live with them because the fear of what will happen if I reveal them is greater than the shame of carrying them around.  I once read an article Dr. Phil wrote about fear and how it was robbing us of our lives.  In so many ways that is true for me. 

 

I can relate to several of the folks on the show.  In truth, I consider them heroes for facing their secrets and helping others to face theirs.  I hope they go on and live as they were meant to live after this is over.  I hope they use the resources that are waiting for them. 

 

During the entire 3 sessions of the show, I sat watching.  I listened carefully to every word.  I watched every tear and every emotion.  And I did what I always do.  I disconnected.  I am so frustrated.  I wanted to feel something.  I wanted to feel some connection to them and some connection to the little person in me.  I wanted to cry but just could not feel it.  I was even pissed off because they could and I couldn't.  That is a horrible thought to have but that's my honest reaction.   

 

I am going to be 33 this year.  I have 5 great kids.  I have a great job.  I have supportive parents and friends who love me.  And I am dying inside.  Not one person in this world knows who I really am.  And I can't even feel sad about that.  I smile when I want to throw things or cry.  I eat whenever I feel uncomfortable feelings.  I am nearing 400 pounds. 

 

The weight insulates me and keeps me safe from some things.  It subjects me to other things.  People don't bother to ask too many questions when you weigh this much.  They stay away and make comments as if somehow being obese makes you deaf as well.  I'm glad they don't ask.  But behind the walls where I huddle and hide and dream of something better,  I wonder if anyone will ever come looking for me and if I even deserve to be found.   And I ask myself why the hell can't I be brave enough to step out, much like your guests have and ask for help. 

 

I taped these shows.  I will watch them again.  And maybe someday, because of them, I will have the courage to live. 

 
November 13, 2008, 3:01 pm CST

Can relate

I have watched all 3 retreats, needless to say in tears. My heart goes out to anyone in pain because I live in that pain daily. I've was molested by my father, who was a cop, beginning at age 12. I ran away from home at 14. Went to the police, but was forced to go back home. I have forgiven my Father as the abuse stopped and the Lord has helped me to overcome. My pain and abuse goes on today by my Mother as she blames me. She has mentally and physically attacked me as an adult. She talks bad of me to my younger siblings. I'm the oldest of 6. I know it wasn't my fault and Dr Phils show helps me to remember that. But it hurts to live with my Mom thinking it was. I struggle with sex and it causes problems for my marriage. I think it always will. I only wish I could finally live a normal life with my husband!! I love the show!! I know I'm not alone.
 
November 13, 2008, 3:02 pm CST

Wade

Wade,

 

You are an amazing courageous man!  I too was sexually abused and I also started the first self help support group in my hometown years back. At first it was only woman and then a few men contacted me and I welcomed them into the group.  I believe that it is more difficult for men especially if their perpetrator was a male....it really messes with your sexual identity along with many other devasting lasting effects!   I got a lot of resistance from the woman at first being the majoroity of their perps were male...but I reminded them that we were all children at the time and that there is no discrimination on this heinous crime.  My logo for the group was "the child within"...and that is what we are!  Our innocence and childhood was robbed from us the day of the abuse...but no more.  We take back our power!!!!   Keep yourself strong, and always remember you were a child and did NOTHING wrong!!  May you have a strong, productive and healthy future.  God Bless!

 
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