Topic : 11/13 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat, Part 3

As a woman who was molested by three different men growing up and as a wife who is married to a man who was raped as a young boy, I am standing up with Wade. I wish only that I could have been there on the retreat to wrap my arms around him and let him know that you can heal and you can have a good life.

Thanks Dr. Phil for reaching out and helping this one man become whole again!  With love and respect, Amy

Wade, I am so sorry that you too had to endure such pain in your life. Many of us cried watching you recap the event that changed your life for a long time. Although I am a female, my memories go as far back as five, and what others do not understand is that it stay apart of your life, if you don't get the help that you need. I applaud you for standing up and taking that step that I don't think that I would be so brave to take.

I just hope that one day I can have your courage to do the same, because what started happening to me at the age of five has escalated into many things over the many years of my life. I know I have a lot of work to do.

You Wade, on the other hand, are looking at possibly a new place to start in life. An opportunity to move forward beyond the walls that have held you back. A chance to LIVE....

Shaunna

Catherine~ Is there a State counselor or official you can talk to who could help you with your finances, like schedule a budget plan for you, most states have programs to help you with your finances and guide you to a way of better life.

For your addicitions, I too was addicted to a drug, Cocaine (not by choice, but although it was forced in my marriage, I did do it)  and have been sober for about 8 years now. For your addictions have you thought about possibly going to rehab or going to a health facility? Or I am not sure of your religion, you could also go to a church and look for help from a priest or just from God. My faith has been an inspiring recovery plan for me.

There is always help out there. With all I have been through in my life from neglect, rapes, molestation, abortion, miscarriages, abuse (verbal and physical), I used to use it as a means for attention because I didn't know how to cope or how to deal with it, but after therapy with my past issues I learned to look for help and there are many out there going through what you are to eventually find a way out. Our choices are made by ourselves and at times we need to ask for help, as hard as it is.

We all feel at times our life sucks, I too felt and at times feel that way, but we are "here" and be thankful you are. You have this one life and deserve to be living it to your fullest. Reliving my horrid times since I was a child was the hardest thing I ever did in my life, although I have new trials to overcome, I too have to deal with them and am having a hard time doing it, but I know God has something in store for me, he does for everyone and I refuse to give up like I almost did so many times in taking my life. You just need to start making better choices, but it all starts with healing within yourself and getting the help you truly need. Don't do what I did so long ago at your age and fall in that ditch and never get out. Eventually there is that "one" person or persons who are there for help. There is "always" a place to turn, it is just taking action on making that difference for yourself.  If you need anyone to talk to, my e-mail is on my profile and would be happy to just talk. I hope you are safe and hope you can find solice in some stage, just remember please, you aren't alone......God bless

Wade,

Anti-depressants have kept me from crying for years and although I take my medication regularly I cried harder today than I have in years.  I have been there just like you and I heard you today with my heart.  Age 6 was my first real memory of molestation and then I tried to eat away my fears and frustration.  Growing up in a religious family and listening to the teachings of forgiveness always made me feel so unworthy of anything.  I tried therapy but was great at telling the therapist just what she wanted to hear and to move on.  I did make some strides but I still feel I have spent most of my life waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare. 

I was feeling confident at about 21 years old and I got a job at a hospital.  I was so excited since it was my first full-time job.  I was told I had to have a physical and I nearly quit.  I knew this would require a complete female physical and I didn't know how I could handle it since I protected myself and vowed I would never be molested or raped again.  I asked for the only female physician and was told she does not do employee physicals since she was an obgyn and despite avoiding making an appointment it was made for me.

I went to the appt, with a male dr., and decided this is it. I'm going to be honest and tell him I just couldn't do the pap exam because I wasn't comfortable and had been molested as a child.  I told him I had never told anyone in my family and I didn't think I could go through with the physical.  This next part you won't believe, he was aggravated with me! after my confession, he looked at me with that rolled eye expression and said, "Do you think you can handle a breast exam?"  I was immediately 6 years old again and I cried through the whole exam.  Worse yet, after the exam he told me to get dressed and wrote up the chart, then said take this to the front and handed the chart to me over his shoulder.  I was devasted, he didn't even look at me to hand me the chart.  I was so ashamed with myself.

I did start therapy shortly after that incident but it didn't really help. 

Your speech today touched me and showed me "I am not alone"  I've never been alone and we can get past this type of horrific event.  I can't wait to see next week's show because I want to see you progress and I want to hear what Dr. Phil says to inspire you.

You have inspired me again to wake up and live my life without fear, without memories haunting me, and to become that person the really really believes they see and stop hiding behind the facade.

Thank you,

         Like many others, I suffer from Legal Abuse Syndrome.  While I have contacted many tv talk shows about doing this as a segment, none have yet responded. 

         Legal Abuse Syndrome is a psycholegal trauma (a form of post traumatic stress disorder), which often develops in individuals assaulted by ethical violations, legal abuses, betrayals, and fraud. Abuse of power and authority and a profound lack of accountability in our courts have become rampant. This adds greatly to the original distress requiring court assistance in the first place.

          This stress can and does lead to physical illness. AMA statistics shows that around 85% of all physical illness is directly attributable to stress. Legal Abuse Syndrome is a public health menace in this country; it leads to massive medical intervention costs, burdens insurance companies significantly, and adds to Medicare and Social Security costs. Legal Abuse Syndrome is detrimental to all of society, and nobody is immune.

          Whatever the court setting, whether it is regarding divorce, child custody, parental support, probate matters, personal injury, property disputes, legal or medical malpractice, criminal charges or other deeply personal issues, the frauds put forth in our courts add greatly to the trauma. When litigants are unable to get fair resolution to their issues, when the court dysfunction further adds to the litigant's burden, when no amount of actual case law compels an equitable outcome, litigants suffer often disabling levels of stress. When further attempts to achieve redress fail, litigants display the hallmark signs of Legal Abuse Syndrome. Victims of legal abuse syndrome typically jump when a phone or doorbell rings, check obsessively to see if windows and doors are locked and try to avoid anything that reminds them of the legal system. In severe cases, physical problems arise: High blood pressure, chronic fatigue and heart attacks.

          Legal Abuse Syndrome is when you feel deeply disillusioned and oppressed as a result of your experience with the legal system; if you feel you were frustrated in obtaining justice; if you feel your dreams and plans for life were torn from you by a system that is supposedly there to protect your rights; if you fear that the system will defeat you at every turn and there is nothing you can do about is, and if you feel that you have been victimized several times over, by the perpetrators, judges, and other court personnel. As a consequence you may suffer from tension and anxiety, recurring nightmares, you may feel emotionally and physically exhausted, numb, disconnected, and vulnerable.

          Even as I am  typing this, I wonder if I will ever get justice, since I have had to endure these violations/victimizations for over 4 years. The Judges mockery of what the court system lead a person to believe in has taken its toll on me. Emotionally, I have  been on a roller coaster that takes severe anxiety and tension turns and aggravates my mood and non insulin dependant type 2 diabetes. Sleep wise, I toss and turn and wake up numerous times a night wondering if I included the right information on the cases (since I am not an attorney nor do I have an attorney representing me), did I omit something from my writings, will I ever get fair justice, will said Defendants ever be held civilly and criminally liable for their illegal, disrespective, and unethical tactics toward me. There have even been times when I have  awoken in the middle of the night, in a cold sweat, from a nightmare where these Judges threw me in jail as a way of their retaliation against me.

          For the last 10+ years, my life has been in what can only be considered similar to a coma state. The first nearly 6 years was hindered by what University Medical Center of Southern Nevada (see U. S. District Court Case # CV-S-04-00679 and 9th Circuit Court Case # 04-16825) and Allstate Financial Services (see U. S. District Court Case # CV-S-05-05250-KJD and 9th Circuit Court Case # 06-16259), the defendants in the 2 cases that I was discriminated against by the Judges. The last 4 years of my life were even further crushed and consumed by Judges and a Judicial System, and government that lies each and every time that they utter "the scales of justice are balanced are balanced."

          Even 20 years after losing a lawsuit, some people who suffer from legal abuse syndrome still carry a suitcase of old legal papers around, desperately hoping someone will help them find justice.

          I recently found out that U. S. District Court Judge Kent Dawson (KJD) never disclosed a connection (direct and/or indirect) that Judge Dawson had with the Defendant in my case  against Allstate Financial Services dba Allstate Adjustment Bureau (a corrupt collection agency hired by University Medical Center of Southern Nevada (UMC).  Senator Harry Reid got Kent Dawson appointed as U. S. District Court Judge.  Senator Reid has a son (Rory Reid) a Clark County Commissioner and UMC Board of Trustee member.  Rory Reid voted to keep

Allstate as the corrupt collection agency for UMC.  Yet through out my case, presided over by Judge Dawson, never did Judge Dawson disclose the connection.

          A very close firend of mine, who currently has a case in the U. S. District Court is being victimized and having his rights violated by Judge Dawson, all because of Judge Dawson's vendetta against me, for going public and speaking out about all of this.

          Unless there is a stop to Judges who commit these discriminatory, unconstitutional, treasonous action, there will be more and more victims, and each will suffer from Legal Abuse Syndrome.

Everones issues are just as intense....My doctor once told me after I had date rape incident that no matter what "NO MEANS NO". They cross the line once that is pushed aside. So your trial is just as serious. And no matter what, It isn't your fault, something I had to tell myself so many times with everything I have endeared in life. I look in the mirror everyday and ask why, put my head in my hands and just at times want to fade away, but yet I look at my "NEW" life that God is storing for me and I know I can' t leave these people who love me so much, but most importantly, I am not ready to give up on "me" and that has been the hardest thing I have now said ever in my life.................

When I saw these episodes it made me look back to my therapy sessions and what I relived, I could relate so much to these people, I love the phase that Dr Phil is doing with these special loving individuals and hands down, I am proud of Wade for having the strength to relive what he has to start his new life.

Just remember, no matter the circumstance, everones problems are equal, no ones problems are stronger than anyones. I can relate to your story and I still to this day blame myself for all the rapes I dealt with, especially with my ex husband after the divorce was final. It haunts me to this day. It isn't easy to just let go, to let go you relive, pour it out and scream and then.........................................release. I still to this day relive that and that was 4 years ago and my abortion was when I was 20 and I am now 35 and that is something I live with all my days in life and can't let it go even though my therapist tried and tried.......I still to this day blame myself although no one allowed me to have the choice in my life, but it was done and now here I am.....................

Crying is releasing and is a positive way of release, crying is good. If that is what it takes for your start of closure is that really a bad thing? Dr Phil helped me through the suicidal attempts I had all because of a teenagers letter to dr phil, if I hadn't read that story; her story was exact as mine, not to a tee, but close; I probably wouldn't be here today. I thank God for Dr Phil everyday.

Remember you always have people here and always have people praying for you that know how it is to feel the way you do.

I wish you nothing but closure and a beautiful future. God bless you