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Topic : 07/20 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Number of Replies: 137
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Created on : Friday, November 07, 2008, 02:47:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/14/08) When you tie the knot, you don't just marry your spouse -- in-laws and siblings often come with the package. But what should you do if you find yourself feuding with your new family? Jessica says most of her relatives hate her husband, Seth. Her mother, Irma, says she's offended by the nasty names Seth calls Jessica and says he needs to start being a man. Seth and Irma are constantly at each other's throats, and Jessica has had to physically restrain her mother from punching her husband. One of Seth and Irma's most-heated confrontations occurred two years ago in the delivery room while Jessica was giving birth! Now Seth threatens to keep the kids from visiting Grandma. Jessica says she can't take the fighting anymore, but is she contributing to the problem? Find out what Seth's mom, Laurie, says needs to happen. Can this family find a way to cease the combat and move forward? Then, Andrea says the war with her mother, Vicki, started three months ago when Vicki gave her an ultimatum: pay rent or move out of her rental house. Vicki says she had allowed Andrea and her soon-to-be ex-husband, Simon, to live in the house rent-free, but now she needs the money. Find out why Andrea says her mom's timing was horrible. Now that the relationship has deteriorated to constant bickering, is it worth saving? Find out what Dr. Phil thinks. If your family is feuding, and you want to learn how to rebuild the relationships, you won't want to miss this show! Share your thoughts here.

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December 5, 2008, 6:41 pm CST

I just posted something similar

Quote From: utwospy

When you marry one Latino you marry the WHOLE family.Extended family as well.it is called family values and Latino culture.Only chance Seth has is to TRY TO void that whole deal and take his wife (de-brainwash), run and HIDE (real good) and try not to be found ever again. I dont think his wife will be willing to do that though. Only other choice for the poor man is to learn and adopt the Latino culture as his own. (Dye that blond hair for starters).Dr. Phil is right . She has to GROW up.Not easy though, considering her culture and long very consistent family history. I dont see a good outcome here for Seth.Latinos are very tight on their culture beliefs. I dont see Dr. Phil being able to change that, but I could be wrong. 
I agree with you 100%--you do take the whole family. Package deal! I am hispanic and my husband is not.  He loves that my family love and accept him as blood.  His family is not involved unless it is on their terms and at their comfort.  He needs to just go with the flow as it will take his wife out of the middle of this situation. It's hard for the mom to accept that her daughter is not treated like the princess that her mother sees!
 
July 17, 2009, 9:09 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Doctor Man Mom My Phil/Robin. Are you kidding me? What are you trying to pull? I donot like that at all. See

you on July Monday 20th, 2009. Sincerley Your.  Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------

 
July 20, 2009, 1:44 pm CDT

07/20 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Hispanic or not should not make a difference.  When you are married, you are to leave and cleave.  That means that your marriage belongs to you and your spouse.  Inlaws will always have opinions and there is nothing wrong with that.  However, at the end of the day, the decisions belong to the two people who are married to each other.  You should be more concerned about making your marriage work than satifying your family members.  I agree with what Dr. Phil said and that is that you should not run to your parents always complaining about your spouse.  What do you expect them to think when they only hear negative things about your spouse?  I just pray that when I become a mother in law that I can keep my nose out of my daughter's marriage.
 
July 21, 2009, 11:17 am CDT

My Mom & My Man

The first couple... Yes, they were very young and imature to be married already. But they are... The biggest problem lies with the wife running home to her mother every time there is a problem. She brings her mother into it, helping the mother to see nothing but fault in her son-in-law. Then when the wife goes back and makes up with her husband, the Mother is still angry...
The Mom can not just like or dislike her son-in-law at the daughters will.
Her mother would not be nearly as involved if the daughter didn't involve her into there problems EVERY TIME !!!
The mother cannot Yo Yo back and forth either liking or disliking as the daughter daily feelings change.
She is only as far into this relationship as her daughter has brought her...
 
July 21, 2009, 11:26 am CDT

07/20 "My Mom vs. My Man"

As for Vicki & Andrea...
I completely agree that your parents Do Not Owe You after a certain time in your life...Be that said... I have 2 boys, 28 & 23... neither of which am I responsible for anymore... But if I was having issues with them monetarily,
I WOULD NOT pick a time that they needed, (not a want) a NEED... like 2 Heartattacks, and now Cancer to take up money issues with them, or even remotely think about kicking them out of a home. I would sit quietly and discuss what I need and what they are able to do.
Especially when 3 grandchildren are involved. I was just appalled listening to this woman Vicki... I understand she may need something in return from her daughter & almost ex son-in-law... But to just throw them out was inhuman to me.
 
July 23, 2009, 10:22 am CDT

07/20 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Quote From: kelley63

The first couple... Yes, they were very young and imature to be married already. But they are... The biggest problem lies with the wife running home to her mother every time there is a problem. She brings her mother into it, helping the mother to see nothing but fault in her son-in-law. Then when the wife goes back and makes up with her husband, the Mother is still angry...
The Mom can not just like or dislike her son-in-law at the daughters will.
Her mother would not be nearly as involved if the daughter didn't involve her into there problems EVERY TIME !!!
The mother cannot Yo Yo back and forth either liking or disliking as the daughter daily feelings change.
She is only as far into this relationship as her daughter has brought her...
I agree. The wife is always running to her mother and talking nothing but trash about her husband and expects her to like him? How can she expect her mother to like her husband when she never tells her anything positive about him? So, her husband pisses her off sometimes? That what journals are for. Not mothers. When she gets mad at her husband, she should scribble her thoughts in a journal. And, leave her mother out of it.
 
July 27, 2009, 4:10 pm CDT

freeloader

Quote From: kelley63

As for Vicki & Andrea...
I completely agree that your parents Do Not Owe You after a certain time in your life...Be that said... I have 2 boys, 28 & 23... neither of which am I responsible for anymore... But if I was having issues with them monetarily,
I WOULD NOT pick a time that they needed, (not a want) a NEED... like 2 Heartattacks, and now Cancer to take up money issues with them, or even remotely think about kicking them out of a home. I would sit quietly and discuss what I need and what they are able to do.
Especially when 3 grandchildren are involved. I was just appalled listening to this woman Vicki... I understand she may need something in return from her daughter & almost ex son-in-law... But to just throw them out was inhuman to me.
that's what the daughter is/was a freeloader. she had stayed for 6 years without paying rent for the house. how much longer is her mother supposed to go for? maybe the timing was bad, but ultimately, the freeloader daughter should have been addressed for just that. why didn't dr. phil call her on that?
 
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