Message Boards

Topic : 07/20 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Number of Replies: 137
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, November 07, 2008, 02:47:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/14/08) When you tie the knot, you don't just marry your spouse -- in-laws and siblings often come with the package. But what should you do if you find yourself feuding with your new family? Jessica says most of her relatives hate her husband, Seth. Her mother, Irma, says she's offended by the nasty names Seth calls Jessica and says he needs to start being a man. Seth and Irma are constantly at each other's throats, and Jessica has had to physically restrain her mother from punching her husband. One of Seth and Irma's most-heated confrontations occurred two years ago in the delivery room while Jessica was giving birth! Now Seth threatens to keep the kids from visiting Grandma. Jessica says she can't take the fighting anymore, but is she contributing to the problem? Find out what Seth's mom, Laurie, says needs to happen. Can this family find a way to cease the combat and move forward? Then, Andrea says the war with her mother, Vicki, started three months ago when Vicki gave her an ultimatum: pay rent or move out of her rental house. Vicki says she had allowed Andrea and her soon-to-be ex-husband, Simon, to live in the house rent-free, but now she needs the money. Find out why Andrea says her mom's timing was horrible. Now that the relationship has deteriorated to constant bickering, is it worth saving? Find out what Dr. Phil thinks. If your family is feuding, and you want to learn how to rebuild the relationships, you won't want to miss this show! Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 14, 2008, 10:19 am CST

Be true to you

Quote From: logcabin02

lgil.....

 

If you would be so kind as to message me off board, I would appreciate it

 

Chris

I just wanted to say to you that I empathize with your situation.  After reading your dilemma, my first thought was, "make this girl leave!".  As hard as that is, she is ruining your life.  She sounds like a piece of work and she obviously cares nothing about your feelings.  She is causing you angst, but worse of all, she is affecting your other children in a very negative way.  Whether she has bipolar disorder or not, her behaviors are unacceptable and unexcusable.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:24 am CST

I disagree

Quote From: efffy_

Women (or men) that think relationships are disposable have never been in love. If they had they could never refer to mate as a quarterly hour public conveyance. Good mothers never impose upon your relationship, and good mates never exclude your mother. My husband is once in a life time. I would never get involved with anyone that didn't respect me. Me includes my family.
When you choose to marry and have your own family, mom is no longer #1.  Your family of choice comes first.  The mom/adult child relationship you described sounds sick, enmeshed, and totally not applicable to 99% of us.  When you are an adult, mom is mom - not "mommy".
 
November 14, 2008, 10:31 am CST

Yes!!

Quote From: ramair

You got that right. Women are no better than men.

Thank you!  Another rare woman who understands that we do not have to tear men down to feel powerful as a woman.  In fact,  female men-haters weaken themselves by denigrating other human beings. I agree with you - men tend to be less complicated.  Yet, I need my female "sisters" in my life as well.  "Why can't we all just get alone?"  Smile.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:33 am CST

11/14 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Quote From: trigreen

Men have also worked to the system to make sure they earn more money and woman are treated unfairly.   There are a bunch of us looking into getting the ERA Amendment revived and in the constitution.   I think it is ridiculous that society accepts it is okay to use culture as an excuse for the mistreatment of woman and sees culture as an overriding women's rights.  As woman because of the ways we have been mistreated by society we are a minority group and we are the largest minority group so our rights are priority.   
For God's sake - grow up.  Get a therapist.    Your anger is quite unappealing and off-putting.  To me - another woman.  Who happens to love and respect men.  Something wrong with your life?  Then fix it and quit whining.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:35 am CST

11/14 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Quote From: trigreen

Well probably at least 80 percent of the ones I meet.   They are so cluessless about so many things.   There are the ones up to there ears in credit card debt-sorry but I can't date you because I have worked hard to be financially responsible and don't want your irresponsibility to ruin my life.  I don't car if a guy is rich, if just car if they are financially responsible.   Granted I don't know that I can say females are better, but still.   Then there are the the liers in the auto industry told me to get an SUV(esp jeeps and hummers, etc) or useless truck crowd who think this will impress women-it doesn't it makes us run the other way.  Who wants a insecure polluter and overspender like you-I want the guy driving the prius or at least a compact.   Then there are the ones who want to act all macho or who look at women like sex objects-disgusting.   Of course there are a lot of overlap in these categories.  
Oh My God, Woman - Grow up!  Quit blaming men for your inadequacies.  You are likely the very things that you project onto men.  No wonder you are probably alone.  Your attitude is extremely unappealing.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:40 am CST

Short of a parent being impossible.........

Quote From: deannaslaght

I would like to start by saying that I understand that all families have issues, but I also believe that you only have one mother and father and I believe that Love of family should be first and foremost in your life.

I married my Husband 24 years ago (it was my second marrige,the first was when I was 17) when I married him my mother went to all of her neighbors yelling (she married the S.O.B.) my mom didn't like my Husband but she did respect my choice. There were many issues (fights,confrontations, bad feelings about our choices for our boys, etc), but through it all I knew my Mother loved me and my family she respected the fact that my husband worked what ever jobs he could find to insure we were taken care of.

My Mother passed away in 1993 at the age of 48,due to major health problems(Lupus, and Vascular Disease) my children were only 8 and 10 years old but to this day they have loving memories of their Grandmother, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My Father was killed in a house fire 8 years later and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish they were both here to see the adorable great grandchildren they have total of 8 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren and the 10th due in January.

I guess my point is no matter what the issues short of violent crimes you can't replace your family God gave you one set of Parents and once they are gone you can never bring them back or tell them you are sorry or how much you love them. Cherish them while you can. They are some of your best and non replaceble memories.

 

Please tell your family you love them and try to over look the little things.

Life is to short to hang on to the bad things.

 

 

Short of your parents being impossible, and I really mean impossible, not just the little stuff, I heartily agree with you. I lost my father quite suddenly when he was only 47 from a massive heart attack. He only got to see one grandchild, who was only 1 month old at the time. He never got to walk any of his 4 daughters down the aisle or see the man his son would grow up to be. I find it sad that many grown children get married and move away, have children, and never make any time to see their parents at this point in the parents life. You never know when their time is going to come, and then it will be too late. What a shame it is to deprive grandchildren and grandparents the gift of one another, and the memories that will last a lifetime. People need to wake and smell the coffee, life is short and it should never be taken for granted. Your loved ones should never be taken for granted either!
 
November 14, 2008, 10:47 am CST

A unisex bathroom? Not for me!

Quote From: housewife52

You know, I like the idea of equal rights for women always have. But, I personally don't feel the need to have unisex bathrooms. The fact that women are smart enough to be doctors, surgeons, politicians, even perhaps president, doesn't mean that we have to pee in the same room with men. It's hard to find a happy medium isn't it? Even today, women tend to make less  money than a man in the same position.
There is no way that I would "EVER" use a unisex bathroom, unless it was in a private office. But say a public unisex restroom? No way! Men have a hard enough hitting the bowl as it is, I certainly don't want to sit down on their hits and misses. I'll take a pass on that thank you.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:52 am CST

11/14 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Quote From: therapissed

Oh My God, Woman - Grow up!  Quit blaming men for your inadequacies.  You are likely the very things that you project onto men.  No wonder you are probably alone.  Your attitude is extremely unappealing.
You can say that again! All this gal does is rag on men and people who don't use public transportation. But, public transportation isn't available in small town, rural America.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:53 am CST

How did this get so off track?

Quote From: therapissed

Oh My God, Woman - Grow up!  Quit blaming men for your inadequacies.  You are likely the very things that you project onto men.  No wonder you are probably alone.  Your attitude is extremely unappealing.
I have had the unfortunate situation of this same person telling me how I must live my life to meet her standards. My husband and I also happen to belong to the worthless pickup crowd that she speaks of. Yes, she has some serious anger problems. I just want to warn you that if you don't live the life that she sees fit, you will be unmercifully tortured and insulted. I wish you the best of luck!
 
November 14, 2008, 10:53 am CST

11/14 "My Mom vs. My Man"

Quote From: therapissed

Thank you!  Another rare woman who understands that we do not have to tear men down to feel powerful as a woman.  In fact,  female men-haters weaken themselves by denigrating other human beings. I agree with you - men tend to be less complicated.  Yet, I need my female "sisters" in my life as well.  "Why can't we all just get alone?"  Smile.
Totally agreed! But usually, I think that both genders tend to be more understanding (I have both female & male friends). We all should be able to get along. No one is evil. People just happen to make bad choices & bad decisions, & say bad things to people all the time. But we can surely fix ourselves.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last