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Topic : 06/09 Love Triangle

Number of Replies: 180
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Created on : Thursday, November 13, 2008, 11:37:10 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/17/08) A new study shows that in America, as many as one in five men is having an extramarital affair, and that 15 percent of women are cheating too. Is your spouse being unfaithful? Jessica says she caught her husband of two-and-a-half years, Ryan, having an affair with his ex-wife, April, whom she thought was her friend. Ryan admits to having a one-time-only rendezvous with April, but April says it occurred closer to 60 times. Who's telling the truth? Jessica fears her husband and April are still keeping secrets from her. Because Ryan and April share custody of a son, Jessica laid down specific rules for when they interact. Are these stipulations keeping Ryan's behavior in check? After Dr. Phil sends Ryan backstage to have a private conversation with his wife, does he admit to more than the one-night fling with April? Will Jessica decide to rebuild the bond with her husband or cut him loose? Then, Daniel admitted to his wife, Karen, that he had an emotional affair with a woman he met online. Only days before coming to the show, he confessed that the affair was sexual. He says he's sorry and wants to put his family back together, but will Karen take him back? Speak out!

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 5, 2008, 2:06 pm CST

I respect your opinions...............

Quote From: heirloom

You said it well, Efffy. Either a man has the propensity to cheat, or he doesn't. If a man does not respect his marriage vows enough, or is unable to stand strong (how ever difficult he may find it) and succumbs to the "boldness" of women, his was not a solid marriage to begin with, and he is obviously not thinking of his wife as he is unzipping his pants. This world is full of bold women, and a wife should not expect these women to keep their husbands faithful. And almost every man who's caught cheating tells the wife he wants to keep the marriage together (from what I've witnessed with friends and family) in order to get things back to some sort of normalcy as quickly as possible - then somewhere in the future he just gets better at hiding it, he's more careful next time around. Again, either a man has a propensity to cheat or he doesn't. Once your husband has cheated, you know which one of these you've got. As Dr. Phil has said so many times "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."

Dear Heirloom,

  I do indeed respect your opinions but I tend to disagree on one aspect. I believe that a man can have one extramarital affair and never do it again. There have been many marriages that have survived an affair and it's never happened again. Then of course there are indeed repeat offenders. I happen to know a couple (divorced now) where the husband could never keep his pants on, he might as well have not owned any.

  The night that his wife was in the hospital giving birth to his first son he was with another woman that he had picked up in a bar. Disgusting! I know another man who had so many mistress's that he would be serviced by at least 3 to 4 in one night, every night. Get this, he's as ugly as a bar of soap but he has a job where he makes a lot of money and has power. Power is an amazing aphrodisiac! This is the type of man that needs to be kicked to the curb ASAP! The are serial philanderer's. I can't imagine how many STD's they have received and spread. Yuck!

 
December 5, 2008, 9:51 pm CST

And I respect your opinion too...

Quote From: jewelsf

Dear Heirloom,

  I do indeed respect your opinions but I tend to disagree on one aspect. I believe that a man can have one extramarital affair and never do it again. There have been many marriages that have survived an affair and it's never happened again. Then of course there are indeed repeat offenders. I happen to know a couple (divorced now) where the husband could never keep his pants on, he might as well have not owned any.

  The night that his wife was in the hospital giving birth to his first son he was with another woman that he had picked up in a bar. Disgusting! I know another man who had so many mistress's that he would be serviced by at least 3 to 4 in one night, every night. Get this, he's as ugly as a bar of soap but he has a job where he makes a lot of money and has power. Power is an amazing aphrodisiac! This is the type of man that needs to be kicked to the curb ASAP! The are serial philanderer's. I can't imagine how many STD's they have received and spread. Yuck!

I do appreciate your respect for my opinion. Opinions are what these boards are all about, and I would hope that all contributors would respect each others' opinions, or there would be no point writing any longer!  And I'm sure there have been one-time offenders, but sadly I think those are not the norm. Then there are men (and women) for whom cheating would just be out of the question because they love their spouse entirely, and could not dream of being with another. That is what a true bonding marriage is about. And you're right - for a man to be with another woman while his wife is giving birth to his son, that is the lowest of the lowest pissant.

 
January 27, 2009, 5:31 pm CST

Need help

So Dr. Phil what should I do?
 
June 6, 2009, 10:04 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

A Be Better Doctor How Love Parent Phil/Robin To Triangle. I never heard of Love Triangle before. See yo--

u on Juno 09th, 2009 Tuesday. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------

 
June 9, 2009, 7:11 am CDT

06/09 Love Triangle

I was the other woman in an emotinal affair that happened online and i thank God for the day the guy i was involved with was caught by his wife.  He did the right thing and we ended it immediately but, i can say i was happily married and was not even looking for it to happen.  It was the most traumatic thing that ever happened in my 10 years of marriage to my wonderful husband.  I never, ever would have thought i could ever do this to another woman, but somehow you get trapped and you really care about this other person.  I definitely knew it was very wrong and so did he.  I was lucky that we were both able to end it.  Because of this I quit going online and chatting, I know what can happen when you least expect it to.  I love my husband too much to ever take the chance that this might happen again online.  So many marriages are ruined by it. 

 

 
June 9, 2009, 8:22 am CDT

Emotional needs

I watched some of the show on emotional affairs. I wondered about the Need behind having the affair.. What need was he trying to fulfill with the new woman that wasn't being met in the marriage. I heard him say He needed to feel a certain way and that was _______________. I can 't remember his words.
 I had an emotional affair in my last marriage. One need behind it was that I was starving for affection, attention, understanding which my husband could not supply. He was very emotionally repressed and could not be present to me in that way. He was a workaholic and could not feel comfortable with emotional attachment. I learned a lot about what my love language was and what I needed in a man and relationship. I had picked someone who could not meet me because I was young and immature and never seen a good relaitonship modeled by my parents.
 
June 9, 2009, 3:29 pm CDT

Love Triangle

After wathcing the show, I feel for Jessica since I've been in the same position as have many other couples/women.  It is really unfortunate the mess we create out of whatever excuse we want to call infidelity - no matter the kind, infidelity is infidelity and it destroys people, marriages, and relationships.  Jessica reminds me of myself when she says she wants to make her marriage work and she wants to believe her husband.  Truth is she doesn't believe him because if she did, then she would not have to want to believe him.  Ryan on the other hand, is afraid to completely admit exactly what he did.  Men will stick to their story for as long as it can buy them time.  Ryan says he is sorry and came to the show to prove to Jessica he is willing to do whatever it takes for her to trust him again. He didn't say he came to the show to do what is best for salvaging his marriage.  Ryan will have one or two more affairs and Jessica will forgive him again until she either gets a nervous breakdown, or absolutely cannot look her husband in the same light and or even make love to him again.  Neither of them spoke of forgiving each other.  I doubt she will be able to for a while - forgiveness is a choice and without it, they will both be in tremendous pain.  Ryan doesn't realize the amount of work he has cut out for him and personally i don't think he understands what he's done to Jessica.  Jessica herself cannot even begin to express what has happened to her.  Her face and body language were screaming out in pain and anger, yet she was not able to express that verbally.  Jessica is thinking of the children - yet she forgets that children are resilient and she has to start living and doing for herself - not Ryan or the children.  If she is no good to herself she is certainly no good to anyone else in her family.  I agree, Jessica has to stop trying to have Ryan on a short leash - let him go Jessica! Stop monitoring him  - that serves you only in making you frantic and hyper-vigilant.   We can all sit here and give our opinions based on personal experiences.  Jessica has a long and ardent task ahead of her.  I am absolutely sorry and disheartened to see a young couple and such a young marriage suffer so needlessly.  As human beings some of us really are selfish and choose to remain blind to the pain we cause each other.  No wonder the world is as it is today - filled with turmoil and confusion.  Jessica and Jessica alone can find happiness in herself when she is ready.  She may be holding on to this marriage because she thinks it is the right thing to do; for now perhaps, it is, but personally I think their marriage is over and it is just a matter of time before the realization starts to kick in. 
 
June 9, 2009, 4:33 pm CDT

Cheating Husband Killed

I was watching todays show and it only brought back the memory of what I have gone thru over the past two years.  My Husband of 11 years was Shot & Killed by a jeolous husband in our home.  I was called around 12:30 on April 23rd of 2007 by a Las Vegas Metro dedective saying I needed to come home immediately because a serious accident had happened.  Upon arriving I found my home surrounded by police and news helicopters flying over head and yellow tape blocking off my home.  I was told that our Pool maintenance man had shot and killed my husband.  The pool company was a small Mom&Pop run business where the husband and the wife would perform the weekly service.  Little did I know that not only was SHE servicing my pool but was also serving my husband on her weekly visits.

My husband along with my three step son's and myself had just returned a month & 1/2 earlier from a 1 week romatic Hawaii cruse, celebrating our 11th anniversery.  I had no idea that the affair was going on...now I am haunted with the fact that he had lied to me multiple times about his where abouts and what he was doing.  He had even suggested to me that he should take me over to ther house and show her how to decorate her home because she had no idea. 

My memory of him and our 14 years together is now tanted with doughts as to what was the truth.  It has taken me longer to forgive my husband for putting himself and our family in such a horrible situation.  I was blessed with three wonderful step-son and ex wife that allowed me to be very involved in their lives.  My husband was the boys best friend and they could not wait do see their Dad and do whatever they wanted with him.  Our oldest was turning 21 years old the next month and had just been accepted in the Peramedic program.  The twins were turning 18 years old and graduated with honors from high school that June.  All of these important life moments were all tanted by the absense of their father.

The Killer (Mario Lino) was sentenced 20-50 years in prison...I am still trying to come to terms with being Madder at my husband then I am at this man that killed him.

I want these men to know that having an affair can have devistating effects on not only the two or three involved but can have Life effect on the entire family.  I still love and miss my husband very much and am trying to deal with the lies he told me and how he disrespected our wedding vowles and committment to each other.

 
June 9, 2009, 6:08 pm CDT

hhmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Well after watching the show, i have been the other woman, and have found many men online looking for someone to listen to!!!! i know its not a good thing to do and woodnt want it to be done to me, but i have been the other woman and tend to date married men!!!
 
June 13, 2009, 11:38 am CDT

He's Lyin'

He was lying.... I believe that what his ex wife said was probably mostly true, (Not that she is very credible)  I am sure he has slept with her more than once.  Until he is honest it will never work...he will have a dark cloud hanging over his head until he owns up to  it......honestly, I am surprised Dr. Phil didn't out right call him a liar. 
 
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