Message Boards

Topic : 06/09 Love Triangle

Number of Replies: 180
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, November 13, 2008, 11:37:10 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/17/08) A new study shows that in America, as many as one in five men is having an extramarital affair, and that 15 percent of women are cheating too. Is your spouse being unfaithful? Jessica says she caught her husband of two-and-a-half years, Ryan, having an affair with his ex-wife, April, whom she thought was her friend. Ryan admits to having a one-time-only rendezvous with April, but April says it occurred closer to 60 times. Who's telling the truth? Jessica fears her husband and April are still keeping secrets from her. Because Ryan and April share custody of a son, Jessica laid down specific rules for when they interact. Are these stipulations keeping Ryan's behavior in check? After Dr. Phil sends Ryan backstage to have a private conversation with his wife, does he admit to more than the one-night fling with April? Will Jessica decide to rebuild the bond with her husband or cut him loose? Then, Daniel admitted to his wife, Karen, that he had an emotional affair with a woman he met online. Only days before coming to the show, he confessed that the affair was sexual. He says he's sorry and wants to put his family back together, but will Karen take him back? Speak out!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 15, 2008, 9:28 am CST

Cheaters

Dont blame the ex's or the other women/man - cheaters cheat to fill a sick need in them not becasue of what a partner is doing that is an excuse , they cheat with their ex because their ex  will alllow it and its

comfortable , they would have to put in some effort with some one new

people cheat becuse they want to , if  they have they will again- I have cheated and been cheated on

 
November 15, 2008, 11:05 am CST

11/17 Love Triangle

Quote From: bonlady

Dont blame the ex's or the other women/man - cheaters cheat to fill a sick need in them not becasue of what a partner is doing that is an excuse , they cheat with their ex because their ex  will alllow it and its

comfortable , they would have to put in some effort with some one new

people cheat becuse they want to , if  they have they will again- I have cheated and been cheated on

With all due respect, yeah you do blame the ex as well it takes two to tango. It is both of there faults, the person they are cheating with especially when it involves an ex, more often than not the other person knows what the situation is. IMO it is just as much the other persons fault as it is your s/o's.

 
November 15, 2008, 11:07 am CST

Love Triangle

Quote From: jewelsf

 I happen to be a stepmother of 3 now grown children. Obviously my husband has an ex wife. I happen to find it extremely irresponsible for the divorced parents to have an affair after the husband has already remarried. What does this lead to? It will lead to hard feelings between the two women, who should be working together to make sure that the children's lives are as unblemished and unhurt by the divorce in the first place. The new stepmother will probably call the other woman names in front of the children, (and I can imagine with good reason although I don't approve) and as stated in the topic box above strict rules will be put in place when the parents need to discuss the children or when they are to be passed from one parent to another. Can you even imagine how uncomfortable and how much tension there will be in the future because of this? They will have a lifetime of being being forced into the same gatherings, weddings, graduations, school functions, etc.. How unfair to allow this to ever happen in the first place? It is nothing but a set up for disaster! In the end the children will be hurt and hard feelings will be held against some, probably the stepmother because of the very tight reins she will have to have on her husband and of course the names they will hear their mother called. Let's also not forget the fighting, didn't they get enough of that while their parents were going through a divorce? If this new marriage even lasts I will be shocked. As a stepmother myself I have always had full trust in my husband when he has had to interact with his ex wife. If you can't have that, then you don't have much of a chance of surviving. It's hard enough to deal with all of this in the first place, but to have to deal with an affair between the two of them is asking too much of any wife. How selfish can two people be?

I think if a spouse is keeping tight reins on their husband and wife between their ex that is a problem all in its self. If the parents of the children can not ommunicate with each other with out the step parent feeling like they have to keep a "close eye" on them the step parent needs to get a grip. Trust is a big part of a relationship, if a relationship does not have trust the relationship is bond to fail.

I also feel that when a person in a relationship cheats it is more than just sex. Some thing has to be wrong in the relationship to make a person want to cheat. When a person cheats with their ex more than likely it is because they already have feelings for their ex that did not end with the divorce.

 
November 15, 2008, 11:10 am CST

The Parents need to get back together

Quote From: live2love

It amazes me about women...how one woman can do this to another woman...and do this to a family. Does anyone ever think ...what will happen to the kids.
If the parents are cheating with each other that means they still have feelings for each other. I think they need to work through their feelings and try to see if they can make it work for the children. If they can't make it work they then need to go their seperate ways, because it is not right to drag the children in their problems. If there is any way the biological parents can be together with their children I think they should
 
November 15, 2008, 11:19 am CST

11/17 Love Triangle

This same thing happened to myself. It started in one town so I moved to another town and just pretended that it would stop, and it did with that person. My ex had children with his ex and at that time we had so many issues with his ex that i really had no problem when he would go over and visit there was always so much drama that i never even thought that he would cheat on me with his ex-wife. Long stroy short he ended up having a another child with his ex-wife, who is btw 2 months older than my daughter. I dont only blame the two of them but I blame myself. i knew his history, and as Dr. Phil always says the best predictor or future behavior is past behavior, i should have kicked him out before we even moved but what doesnt kill you only makes u stronger.
 
November 15, 2008, 11:47 am CST

11/17 Love Triangle

Quote From: bonlady

Dont blame the ex's or the other women/man - cheaters cheat to fill a sick need in them not becasue of what a partner is doing that is an excuse , they cheat with their ex because their ex  will alllow it and its

comfortable , they would have to put in some effort with some one new

people cheat becuse they want to , if  they have they will again- I have cheated and been cheated on

Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself. Everyone always would want to blame the exes and/or other woman/man. But the blame should really be placed on the spouses, because if he/she were not to do it with a specific person that the spouse despises, they would do it with somebody else. We need to stop treating the cheating spouses like victims.
 
November 15, 2008, 12:20 pm CST

Love Triangles

I am 46 years old and been through a divorce where my husband cheated on me only once, I WAS DONE WITH NOT TRUST !!!,  and happily married for 14 1/2 years now with 3 chilren 2 grown from the previous marriage.

 

The problem with all this mess is that the ones having the affairs are selfish !  With no commitment to their marriage vows.  There is no love for their family or no concern for the kids.  YOU CAN SAY  "NO" !

 
November 15, 2008, 1:36 pm CST

hurt..

Quote From: barn_mom

I am 46 years old and been through a divorce where my husband cheated on me only once, I WAS DONE WITH NOT TRUST !!!,  and happily married for 14 1/2 years now with 3 chilren 2 grown from the previous marriage.

 

The problem with all this mess is that the ones having the affairs are selfish !  With no commitment to their marriage vows.  There is no love for their family or no concern for the kids.  YOU CAN SAY  "NO" !

how do you move on??  i lost so many things like trust, respect, and even lost love when i found out my husband cheated... i feel lost at a dead end road...can you really trust not only a cheater, but a lier too??

the betrayal and hurt the pain and stress i dont feel he could possably love me so why bother....

 
November 15, 2008, 1:48 pm CST

both to blame

Quote From: manofgoods

Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself. Everyone always would want to blame the exes and/or other woman/man. But the blame should really be placed on the spouses, because if he/she were not to do it with a specific person that the spouse despises, they would do it with somebody else. We need to stop treating the cheating spouses like victims.

the other woman/man is not off the hook! are you serious?? i agree the blame shouldnt just be on the other woman/man but alot of other woman/man know the person is married or taken and they know about the children and  simply DONT CARE!!  the woman who my husband cheated with knew he was married knew he had kids..of course he lied to her about alot of things but come on! if you meet a married man/woman  dont you realize chances are, they would cheat on you too!! everything is baised on lies...

i blame my husband 98% but come on the "other" person is part of the blame... because while he was feeding her a bunch of b.s, she was playing and feeding into every bit of it.. i personally wouldnt  want to talk to a man who does nothing but complain about this and that and telling me all his woman problems..

that would def. be a turn OFF and a huge red flag would go up...

 
November 15, 2008, 4:25 pm CST

Women cheat too

The numbers are misleading. 1 in 5 for men vs 15% for women is only a slight difference, 20% vs 15%. Why are there only men in this show as the cheaters?
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next | Last