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Topic : 11/20 Spouses at War

Number of Replies: 76
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, November 14, 2008, 03:18:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
From the outside they appear to be a perfect couple – successful, affluent and respected in the community. But behind closed doors, Jake and Donna’s knock-down, drag-out fights are driving them to the brink of divorce. Donna says that Jake’s abusive temper ranges from terrible verbal insults, to threatening to push her over a second-story railing, to waving a gun around! Though his apologies come with elaborate gifts, Donna says she just wants the abuse to end. Meanwhile, Jake says Donna is controlling, in the marriage for the money and cold to their adopted 7-year-old daughters.  What does the rest of the family think? You may be surprised by what Jake’s stepdaughter has to say. See how this couple’s constant power struggle is crippling their 20-year marriage. Can they cease their battle for control and rebuild their union,or will they both walk away losers? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 20, 2008, 3:15 pm CST

Question

Quote From: shmigelz

Lets see here, Donna's unemployed, watches TV all day according to the daughter. What is this? her 3rd marriage? and all she can do is complain about everythign and anything else but look at herself. If I was that husband, Id get a divorce, and kick her out before the sun went down that night. Sleeping under a bridge or in a shelter might wake her up fast. What does she do all day? 'Complain and say ohhh pity ole me, no job, gaining weight, 3rd marriage, cant even care for the other kids.'

I wouldn't put up with that for a second. I would be get a damn job now, stop playing the victim, and NO more money for you.... Shes not worth it for him (hard working, 100% provider.) Shes a liability. What does she do? What does she do?

She needs a MAJOR wake up call! and a job and a reality check and let her go, let her make money for once in 25 yrs... Believe me thats all it will need!

And the fact that she doesn't work excuses calling her a c***? A b****? Making her feel even worse about herself?

Wake up.

 
November 20, 2008, 3:16 pm CST

Thinking about the twins

Dr Phil I was very upset that you did not say anything about the behavior of this mother towards her kids. The kids are the priority as they have no voice. This woman never acknowledged or shed tears also for what she has done to these twins. I think that you shoud have been more straight at the end of the show regarding the obligation that she has to these kids. She is doing the same to them as other people did to her. Maybe she does not hit them, but her lack of interest and love to them is also abuse. This show made be be more sad for the kids than for the parents.
 
November 20, 2008, 3:24 pm CST

Donna has domestic help ehhh?

Shows like this make my blood boil. I CHOOSE work 110 hours/week. I have too much self pride...

So Donna has been divorced 2 times before, and now as she is JOBLESS the 3rd marriage around, why is GODS ***** name does he pay for 'domestic support?" What in the hell does this Donna do? Dude kick her out now, get divorced, shes got nothing to offer, does nothing, that will wake her up quick. Its ok she will move back into her parents home....

Wow shes PATHETIC! yes you DONNA!
 
November 20, 2008, 3:27 pm CST

We decided to divorce TODAY!!!..

I could not believe the show today...THIS IS MYSELF AND MY HUSBAND!!...Except, our marriage is 14 yrs old and this bickering/control/whatever started within days of being married in 1994...both of us had been married previously...I was pregnant...we had a gal child and attempted to get on together as a family...over these years, it became very apparent to us both that this was just not working out...But until our daughter became older..she is 13 now...we plaed tug and war continually...he has a hair-trigger temper...I would try to calm it...over and over and over again...

These last several years, we split up into separate houses at the very least twice a year...this year we have lived in separate residences 4 months...and still we cannot get along...last spring when we were apart, he told me that he could live with me under the same roof IF we were not married...I balked at that idea!!...ha!!....TODAY, as we peacably agreed to 50/50 split of assets, I actually felt a relief and a love for the man who is known to me as my husband...I can say I truly do love him and wish him well and happiness...

Most imprtantly, I felt a total relief when I heard Dr. Phil state that today, I could choose to change MY compass point, that I could change my experience...

...I love my husband as a human being...I always will...I want he and our daughter to have a wonderful life now in a new relationship that they themselves work out together...

All three of us are so relieved I know I could sleep at 7pm tonight...

 

You know, I did not marry a man I did not like and enjoy...we lost each other somehow somewhere...the past is the past, the arguing is a done deal for us...WHAT A RELIEF!!!

 

Iwish this couple could just do the same...I (I wish all married people could pull up their big boy and girl pants and when they decide that a relationship is finished...THINK OF THE CHILDREN who must stay there with you as furor abides...they cannot leave, they have no choice..

 

The two of us decided today..FINALLY...that there has been enough 'WE'. here....

From now on, first on both of our lists is our child...

My child has a real chance now NOT to repeat the mistakes we have made...and I thank a higher power somewhere for helping us...to get this right!!

 

Sincerely,

a really happy soon to be divorced mom and dad

 

 
November 20, 2008, 3:35 pm CST

Losers Wife

Donna, have had numerous affairs and don't respect herself and her husbands and her kids.  That's the bottom line.

Donna, in her own mind she think she can't do anything wrong because she is protecting her affairs.

I had a wife just like Donna and got a divorce and re-marry and I am still the same but happy.  In that married I couldn't do or say anything right.  The things I did wasn't go enough.  Donna, is walking died!

 

I think Donna need to get a lot of help with her childhood issues by leave her family and only if she get better may she return.  Also, I think has to many skeletons in the closet and to much trash in the trash can that she need to get off of her chest.

 
November 20, 2008, 3:55 pm CST

11/20 Spouses at War

Quote From: kristyc0624

Dr. Phil I watch your show and this is the first time I've ever been ANGRY enough to write in, or post a BLOG.  I was verbally abused by my first husband. You get where YES you YELL and scream back at them because youve tried tears, then not saying anything. SO you YELL BACK.   You have NO self esteem. He has taken it !!! I left my husband after 17 years of marriage we tried some marriage counseling (HA ) wrong type. A nun of the Catholic faith.  IF that couple wants to stay together. HE needs some extra counseling so HE wont be the verbal abuser. MY first husband has not changed he still is an abusive to our daughter and would be to our son, however my son plays Football and is not afraid of his father anymore.  DR. PHIL YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO WRONG in this. Look extremely hard at their relationship, HE will get more physical abusive towards her. I KNOW from experience!!  It took me 10 years to get my self esteem back.

Signed been there, done that have that DIVORCE Paper.

OK kristy, been there, done that too. Been married to mine for 24 yrs. ( just 2nd marriage). Yelling, name bashing, whatever, still with him.  But maybe, just maybe, if she would not shop till the bank account is at $0 and stop having the attitude of "poor me, poor me", he MIGHT just have a different way of looking and feeling about her. I WOULD NEVER, EVER GO SHOPPING AND, (FOR ONE, NOT WORK), AND SPEND ALL THE MONEY THAT MY HUSBAND BROUGHT HOME TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY ON MY "WHIMS AND WANTS". And it seems like he's doing very well for himself. Cuddoes to him.

OMG, she has a nanny, housekeeper and whatever the hell she wants. What's up with that??? And OK< she supposidley was abused when she was younger, I'll give her that one, if it's true. I have no clue. Even if that's true, I don't think I'd go on spending sprees and abuse my "wealth" and take advantage of my situation.

But I don't know, haven't been there.

 HE JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I'm surprised he was even on the show trying.  That's a good luck to everyone there.

 

 
November 20, 2008, 4:26 pm CST

11/20 Spouses at War

Quote From: kristyc0624

Dr. Phil I watch your show and this is the first time I've ever been ANGRY enough to write in, or post a BLOG.  I was verbally abused by my first husband. You get where YES you YELL and scream back at them because youve tried tears, then not saying anything. SO you YELL BACK.   You have NO self esteem. He has taken it !!! I left my husband after 17 years of marriage we tried some marriage counseling (HA ) wrong type. A nun of the Catholic faith.  IF that couple wants to stay together. HE needs some extra counseling so HE wont be the verbal abuser. MY first husband has not changed he still is an abusive to our daughter and would be to our son, however my son plays Football and is not afraid of his father anymore.  DR. PHIL YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO WRONG in this. Look extremely hard at their relationship, HE will get more physical abusive towards her. I KNOW from experience!!  It took me 10 years to get my self esteem back.

Signed been there, done that have that DIVORCE Paper.

OK, I'm going to try this again, I got booted somehow.

I'm going on 24 yrs. with my husband now, it's my 2nd. And yes, we sometimes have yelling, name calling, whatever.

But I would never, ever, ( and I'm not going bold caps here this time), drain any bank account to zippo just because of  my "whims and ways". Sorry, not that way. I am grateful and thankful for what I do have and don't abuse my  gifts. I have never been abused as she says she has and I'm sorry for that. But maybe the husband has just had enough of her draining him. It would be nice... nanny, housekeeper, husband that makes good $$$$, shop for whatever you want. I'm surprised he was even on the show. SHE needs to get off the pity-pot and be grateful for HIM. Maybe if she would change, he would too.

 
November 20, 2008, 4:27 pm CST

11/20 Spouses at War

Quote From: cbonhomme

Dr Phil I was very upset that you did not say anything about the behavior of this mother towards her kids. The kids are the priority as they have no voice. This woman never acknowledged or shed tears also for what she has done to these twins. I think that you shoud have been more straight at the end of the show regarding the obligation that she has to these kids. She is doing the same to them as other people did to her. Maybe she does not hit them, but her lack of interest and love to them is also abuse. This show made be be more sad for the kids than for the parents.
 I agree.
 
November 20, 2008, 4:33 pm CST

11/20 Spouses at War

Quote From: shmigelz

Shows like this make my blood boil. I CHOOSE work 110 hours/week. I have too much self pride...

So Donna has been divorced 2 times before, and now as she is JOBLESS the 3rd marriage around, why is GODS ***** name does he pay for 'domestic support?" What in the hell does this Donna do? Dude kick her out now, get divorced, shes got nothing to offer, does nothing, that will wake her up quick. Its ok she will move back into her parents home....

Wow shes PATHETIC! yes you DONNA!

OMG dude, chill out..lol... I agree but not so wholeheartedly as you.

And you work 16 hrs a day?? 7 days a week?? How the heck you do that mf??

 
November 20, 2008, 4:35 pm CST

You are SOOOOOOOOOOOO wrong

Quote From: kristyc0624

Dr. Phil I watch your show and this is the first time I've ever been ANGRY enough to write in, or post a BLOG.  I was verbally abused by my first husband. You get where YES you YELL and scream back at them because youve tried tears, then not saying anything. SO you YELL BACK.   You have NO self esteem. He has taken it !!! I left my husband after 17 years of marriage we tried some marriage counseling (HA ) wrong type. A nun of the Catholic faith.  IF that couple wants to stay together. HE needs some extra counseling so HE wont be the verbal abuser. MY first husband has not changed he still is an abusive to our daughter and would be to our son, however my son plays Football and is not afraid of his father anymore.  DR. PHIL YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO WRONG in this. Look extremely hard at their relationship, HE will get more physical abusive towards her. I KNOW from experience!!  It took me 10 years to get my self esteem back.

Signed been there, done that have that DIVORCE Paper.

Donna clearly has borderline personality disorder, she fits all the criteria. Did you not hear , HER OWN DAUGHTER SAYS SHE IS THE ABUSER. He needs to run as fast as he can to a divorce lawyer, it is rare for a borderline to ever recognize the responsibilty they have in creating the chaos. Every time they went to a marriage counselor she would drop out. That's what borderlines do. He needs counseling all right but to learn how to deal with a borderline.
 
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