Topic : 07/15 A Husband's Double Life

We were dating, both were children.. he was NOT an adult. By parents both told me I could no longer see him because now they were dating... We were dating first, and in love. Both my parents knew about the situation. He basically got married to a "mommy figure" because he was sexually abused all of his teenage years! So therefore... his life seemed unbearable. My mother has issues with relationships, and thought by "getting even" with her husband, was the way. He plead guilty to it, in order to get help. I never dumped my children, my children broke in my home, and were stealing from me, so much... I am now behind on my bills (alot)... I cannot afford them. It would do me no good to keep them and lose our home and then eventually , we all end up on the street? Der. Yes, actually part of it... is a misunderstanding, part is not... I was only trying to break things down, when I wrote my story.. obviously it was too delicate for your comprehension. Next time, I will try to right with more simplicity in the future. And I am in know way, saying what he did he right, but he is a human being.. and my daughter is 100% fine. And, I do not live with him, der.. I did have him arrested, and not once have I regreted it. I really hope bad things never happen to an ignorant person like yourself.

I'm sorry Dr. Phil but I have to call you on this one, you say that people are born with their sexual preference in place on one show (which by the way you can't prove either way) but this guy would probably do it with wet sand, it sounds like to me that he has no preference at all.  Why don't you defend this guy like you do other people that live lifestyles that are risky?  Why does the amount of sexual partners matter?  Oral and anal sex is risky and not healthy no matter if it's straight or bi or monogamous or what ever , sure the number of sex partners does increase your chances for catching a disease but the type of sex needs to be addressed also.  This should be your focus if you really cared about the people you were dealing with, instead of giving one segment of society a pass on risky behavior just because it may be socially and financially more acceptable to do so.  To me if a fellow human being is doing anything that increases the chances that they may catch a disease or hurt themselves and they bring it to my attention, it would be actually uncaring of me to set back and not say how this behavior may increase the chances of killing them or causing themselves harm.  I bet I would get more flack on your show if I was a person that chose to live alone, because I lacked the love and touch of another human being (also very important).  But I could admittedly be in a monogamous relationship that engaged in risky sex acts and everything would be just fine because my risk is lower because I'm monogamous.  I know your a PhD. but come on, this is completely a health care issue, no different than I.V. drug use.  I'm not saying to rake these people over the coals, but I am saying that it is very inconsistent to give one segment of society a pass just because it may be more socially acceptable to do so.  I even heard the lady Dr. on your other show (the Dr's.) say that anal sex was fine as long as you use plenty of lubrication, I know were not supposed to judge each other but please, sex is no different than any other kind of drug.  Didn't you hear the guy say that he had to keep doing more because the other wasn't doing it for him any more, the answer is not more types of sex when what's working quits working, the answer is less of regular sex.  If having sex has become mundane with your partner, I think it's safe to say that your having too much sex, just back it off until it becomes special again.  I don't care if it's 5 times a day or three times a week or once a month, find a partner that has a sex drive that is close to your's and your life will be a lot more enjoyable to live. She defiantly missed the warning signs early on in this relationship, heck I had a girlfriend when I was in my early 20's and all we did was have sex, 5 times a day some 3 or 4 days a week and I loved every second of it.  But that's all we did and I wanted more out of life than just sex, it started effecting who I wanted to be in life and I had to choose between the two, thank God I did because as I grew older I learned that as I said before sex is a drug and if not handled with care can take over your life.  It's all about power and control! The answer is, do we have the power to control ourselves?

If Elaine reads any of these posts, please listen to this one. Michael is a liar, he has cheated on you, what else do you need to know?  You might divorce him??? You need to get out of that marriage as soon as possible.  He has put your life in danger and his own. You need to stop playing this game he has you tied up in. I'm surprized Dr. Phil didn't say the famous, "He is doing this because he can."  Don't be a fool another moment. I was married for 14 years to a man who was like him. His children barely have anything to do with him.  I got out with nothing and raised three successful professional daughters. I also have my education. I still have scars from that marriage and it's been over for years. Get out now. Don't worry about giving him visitation. Make him fight you for it. Do whatever you can to prevent him from having contact with you or your children.  He is pathetic and you can't help him. Your children will be better off.

It is obvious this man is lying..........I wanted to reach through the TV screen and claw his face off.

How can this woman allow him anywhere near her 2 precious daughters??  Be very very worried that he will go after one of them if he hasn't already. 

I am shocked and dismayed she keeps making excuses for him to stay and get help.  Get him help but keep him away from your daughters!!!!!!!!!!!

 

reaction to wed show - well tv is at work it was very hard not to get outwardly emotional.. We had been married 14 years - he was always quiet but I did not see that as a problem just a personality trait - then the little things  very slowly over the years started to add up - until the "little" things added to bigger and bigger - found out lies - computer usage and then calls. We sought councel finding that he was not able to admit the addiction - we divorced now 4 years Recently incarcerated, charged and sentenced for electronic solicitation < 13 ..And I was the first one called ....problem I love him and can't let go !  HELP :)====:(

 All over the message boards I read how bad men are about their sex life.  But what you dont read is how bad women are as well.  It's not just men I hate to break it to you but its true, believe it....I  can tell you women are just as bad, it just is not brought to the attention of everyone like it is with men.  Why because men are always made to be at fault, no exceptions.

doesn't excuse your behaviour...it's still you (Michael) doing all of these things- and admitting to things you OR your "addict" have done is the only way you'll start the healing process.  You spoke of your "addict" all through the show, but when you learned of the deceptive results of the polygraph you swore up and down that YOU would never and have never touched or thought about (sexually) a child...has your "addict"?  Come clean w/ yourself, in the very least- you owe it to yourself, your wife and above all else- your daughters.  They don't deserve a father who "may" be a threat to them and their innocence...be it you or your "addict" posing that threat- their safety is the most important issue here.

Oh I agree that's what I meant when I said he needs to be locked up. Because he can harm the kids in their house too this woman needs to bail and bail fast!

After watching this show I was so sick to my stomach.  What does she not see.  She needs to protect her girls.  He is pathetic and a complete freak.  If she does anything for anyone it should be to protect her children.  Dr. Phil you did not ask the question has he had thoughts of doing bad things to his girls???  Why I dont know but that would of been the only question that needed to be asked.  You need a divorce and he needs to not see his children till he has been sexually sober for at least 2 years......he is a FREAK

Amen, sister, Amen!!

 

Trusting your gut is the VERY BEST thing to do!!

 

I've been in your shoes for 32 years and am now single and liking it!! Notice I didn't say LOVING IT~~~I MISS NOT HAVING A PARTNER!! However, I've found a sweet man who lives in the apartment right next door and he treats me great!!

 

I am quite happy with our relationship and have NO MORE PAIN FROM INFIDELITY!!

 

May God bless you & yours~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sal