Topic : 07/03 School Discipline: Out of Control?

I would like to start out first saying to desmoinesmom and overthehill.  i am a parent who is at this moment going thru a very difficult time with my sons 5th grade teacher.  My son was born with cataracts and the 1st year of his life spent the majority of it in the hospital with asthma, RSV,etc...he was constantly on steroids so his vocal cords never grew to where they close they continuously stay open so this caused him to have a slight speech problem.  Overthehill if you can't handle all the paperwork and other day-to-day issues that come with teaching then maybe its time for you to retire.  I am getting tired of hearing how these teachers have way too many students in their class rooms and they just can't handle the paperwork or all the day-to-day issues that come up.  This is your job you chose to teach these children didn't choose it for you.  And for desmoinsemom where do you get off judging and degrading someone else when you do not live with these people you do not know what goes on 24/7 in this families home, so until you walk in there shoes you should not be the judge and jury in their life.  I am from Nebraska and I have supported the people who have turned to dropping their children off with the safe haven law before they changed it once again.  This state needs to wake up and see that these kids need help and the families do to.  We just celebrated a year anniversary of the Von Maur shootings and that child was not given the help that he needed.  My sons 5th grade teacher has called him stupid,ignorant,you won't amount to anything,she tells other teachers not to let him do things because he is a trouble maker.  The principal of this school who I had on such a high pedestal will not listen to complaints because he says this teacher is a good teacher. 

They had my son in the office (principal and teacher) yelling at him,accusing him of things, and he was crying, this teacher who is 38-40 yrs old was crying and told my son that she wanted to quit her job because of him(then quit-she'd be doing us all a favor), this so called principal looked at my son and said "you don't even care that she is crying", what about my son sitting in there crying no one asked him about his feelings, no one asked this cry-baby teacher if she felt bad.  I work in nursing, let me tell you we can see 25-150 patients a day, you want to talk about paperwork, and stress, but I can't walk around degrading these patients, telling them that they are stupid for whatever reason they are there, that is my job to give them the best care they deserve no matter how bad of a night I had or day I am having.  i chose this profession so I have to take the good and the bad with it.  i transferred my son out of this school and I am so thankful that he won't be around this inhuman woman.  What all of you need to remember and think about would you want your children treated this way?  I do not like judge mental people.  I f you don't walk in a person shoes, and you don't  live life 24/7 then you need to keep your judgments to yourself and offer support and help.  once again, if you can't handle the day-to-day issues of being a teacher then get out.  you have no right treating our children disrespectful because you have too much paperwork or too many students deal with it.  you teachers expect the students to follow the rules and be respectful you need to show them how to do it then.  And stop blaming parents.  you do not know what these parents are doing yes there are parents out there that do not deserve to have kids but that is not your job to make their kids suffer.  My son has not been in any trouble and has not caused any trouble.  This year has been a nightmare with her and I am so glad that he is away from this beast of a teacher.  I have had several other  parents call me and talk to me about their kids in her classroom and that she is doing the same thing to them and amazing as it is these students have special needs also.  So desmoinesmom i guess you can be thankful and your child also that they are not special needs because you are judge mental person that some day karma will come back and bite you in the butt for all your judge mental remarks you have made about Isabel and all the other children out there that have special needs.  Do you judge the Hispanics for getting special treatment and needs to learn our language??????  My son and his friends have gone to the principal and told him how this teacher is and all he says is "OH".  What an answer.  This teacher has made remarks about she is in it for the money, she is a materialistic person, if you have pets your house is dirty.  And don't use the money factor as an excuse, Here in Nebraska the starting salary for a teacher right out of college is $52,000 a year.  That is more than some people make.  its not about money its about being there for the kids.  Isn't that what you become a teacher for????    Principals and teachers are supposed to be there for the children and help them learn and protect them.  Not degrade,judge, and not like paperwork or the day to day issues.  What an ideal world if everything was perfect and their were no special needs children out there???  I think that would be very boring and then you all would have something else to b---- about.   Now for Isabel's family hang in there and ignore these judge mental and ignorant people who want to judge you and your family.  If teacher and people who don't understand you and your family well turn around and judge them and tell them that they are ignorant.  Guarantee they won't like being judged or labeled.

First of all, let me say that even though I don’t know you, I am terribly sorry for what you and other parents like you are going through.  I’ve read all your stories on these boards, and they are so tragic.  I know if I had a special needs child of my own, I’d do whatever it takes to be heard.  Forget the rules and regulations, and demand that the principal do something.  Believe me, I can loud and vocal when need be.

This is why I can’t stand self-absorbed, self-righteous, “all about me” teachers and parents who just write off a child’s disability as an excuse for said child to act out of control, and then call parents in that situation “lazy” and “uninvolved” because they refuse to take a hand or belt to them.  If only these people would take time out to educate themselves about these disabilities and the lifelong physical and mental effects, and how they react to corporal punishment, they’d be able to develop lots of much-needed patience.  (And God forbid these self-righteous parents ever end up parenting a special needs child with serious mental conditions!)

Teachers, stop and think about why you chose this career in the first place.  To make a difference in the world, inspire these kids, enrichen their lives, and give them a love of learning, right?  Why else would teaching be so glorified by people as such a wonderful profession?  Stop complaining about how there’s so many kids in the classroom, so many papers to correct and reports to write – all that paperwork, so many meetings to go to, and so little money you’re earning.  I agree, if you can’t handle all of this, then you’re in the wrong profession and need to get out.  If you’re clearly in it for the money, then I suggest you go back to college and enrol in Business Administration!  Trust me, you’ll be sure to get a job quicker and earn more money!

I remember when I was a little boy; I wanted to be a teacher myself.  But I was wrapped up in the fantasy that all it consisted of was just standing up at the blackboard lecturing students, sitting at a big desk correcting papers as students worked quietly, and dolling out discipline when the occasion called for it.  When I realized it was more than that (especially attending school division meetings while students had that day off), I changed my mind completely.  Now, I am an aspiring novelist and short story writer.  Interestingly, my current novel project is about a young man with severe cerebral palsy who uses his past and present experiences (school, family, etc.) to become a controversial radio host.  This is something I settled on in eighth grade, and I do not regret this decision.

Believe me, dear lady, you have my sympathy.

I am a mother of two teenagers; I lived in the same area as Jeremiah and his family. My children were bullied and harassed DAILY! I had gone to the principal and teachers asking for help. NOTHING was ever done...by them.  I was constantly taking matters into my own hands and calling parents myself. It may have been a call to reclaim an item stolen from my children or a request that they understand that their child need to leave mine alone. The teachers and other faculty turn a blind eye to everything going on! This is a small school district that is run on FAMILY money. So the bigger your donation to the school, the less likely your child will be found at fault. Can't upset parents with check books! I raged at the schools for being so stupid! I was tired of doing the dirty work to protect my kids so they could just go to school and LEARN! And nothing has changed.
After years of no action from the teachers or principal I finally pulled my children out of the schools there. I have home schooled them now for 6 years. All the problems my children had in school have all but disappeared, such as lack of concentration, inability to get work done in a timely manner, and even working independently. It is amazing how well kids learn when they are taught by someone that WANTS to teach them and CARES about how they are doing.
Before I pulled my children from the school district I looked the principal and parents at a "PTA" meeting and said simply "If you continue to let them (bullies) get away with what they are doing, we will suffer another Columbine" just because we live in a small town does not mean we are safe".
I have now moved out of the area, still home school my kids, and cried my eyes out when I heard that young Jeremiah had taken his life. It is a complete load of BS if anyone believes that the teachers and principal didn't know what was going on! I believe they knew and did NOTHING! 

Home schooling, in my opinion, has become the road I would have chosen, were I to begin again.  My youngest has just begun college, and his sister is in her third year at the same University.

I heard the teachers complaining...but NOT when they had the three and four day weekends, the ten days of Christmas Vacation,  Presidents' Week off, soon to be followed by Spring recess, another week off...then the 2+ months of summer vacation. 

Most people work from 9 to 5, so I have little sympathy for the teachers who complain about bringing work home.  There are VERY few jobs with paid vacations of that duration.

Teachers are SUPPOSED MANDATED REPORTERS OF CHILD ABUSE!  Yet they engage in verbal or emotional abuse as if it came with the contract.

Is teaching easy?  NO!   Does it have both pros and cons?  YES!  Is that the case with ANY job, that everyone has the ups and downs, the pros and cons, the issue of salaries, etc.? YES!

If a person doesn't want to teach, doesn't want to face the negatives of the turf, then go and do something else!

This continual WHINING and negligence of the responsibilities of a teacher is really getting under my skin.

You have to LIKE children to teach, you MUST deal with parents.  Like a landlord must deal with leaks and tenants, it goes with that terrain.

Everyday will NOT be one of gumdrops, but the allure of the vacation time, the health benefits, and the pension, combined with JOB SECURITY...This is what draws teachers, for the most part...I have been told it to my face, by teachers who like the hours to correspond with THEIR childrens' and the vacations that do so as well.

That is NO EXCUSE to do a poor job, or to mistreat children.  I think that those who DO take that brave step toward homeschooling their children are to be commended.  Maybe if more could do it, would do it, the Education system may wake up as the Federal Funding became less and less, and the private funding began to shrink. 

I would like to say thank you.  I too, can be loud and get my point across but I did what I thought was the best thing for my son and that was to transfer him out of that school.  My son walks around saying he is stupid, ugly, and gets embarrassed when he can't pronounce a word correctly because of this teacher.  This so called professional teacher has even made fun of my sons name his name is Mathew we spell his name with 1 t because that is how my father-in-law spelled his and he is named after him, he passed away 11yrs ago unexpectedly my son does not even remember him but he is proud to carry that name and to have some grown woman make fun of the spelling of his name is just down-rite cowardly.  I have asked for several meetings with this teacher and she refuses each time.  That for me is all the proof I need for guilt on her part.  If she is not guilty of anything or has anything to hide why can't she meet with me???? 

I went to my sons school to visit his classroom and they would not allow me to because she did not want me in there.  Now, you tell me she isn't guilty of something.  Wouldn't it be nice for me when the state comes to check us out every year we could say oh no I don't want them in a room with me and refuse I would get fired on the spot.  No child is innocent and I am not saying my son is perfect NO ONE is perfect.  But these teachers chose this profession so deal with it and if you can't then do us all a favor exspecially these children and get out of teaching and find something else to do.  Go work in a wal-mart or a target you don't have paperwork or day-to-day issues with children.  I too, do not like self-righteous people who think they are better than you or you are at fault for whatever condition your child has.  Remember one thing,  god has a reason for doing things and what he does one should not question. 

   My 14 year old Autistic daughter had her leg broken 6 months ago during a restraint.  The injury included a clean break throught the bone, completely severed ligament, split tendon and torn cartlidge.  Ater the nearly half hour restraint in which she screamed "your breaking my legs", They gave her an ice pack and put her in a Quiet Room.  What warranted this restraint?  My child refused to sit closer than six feet at a board game table next to a student that made her feel uncomfortable.  The teacher had been bullying my daughter for weeks.  The school knew she was uncomfortable with the other student.  Common sense says put the kids on opposite sides of the table and enjoy the board game.  Why is this so hard for schools to understand?  Compliance is the first priority in the education system, not academics, and certainly not self esteem.   

   I am appalled that schools have the right to conduct themselves with this sort of behavior.  I am frustrated that there is no place in the system to hold people accountable for bullying, harrassing, and abusing disabled children. 

   No parent would be allowed to break a childs limb for not sitting close enough to the dinner table.  Why aren't schools held to the same standard? 

     My daughter is a wonderful person with amazing gifts and very high intelligence.  She is not broken; she has Autism.  Why is it so difficult for people to be tolerant and accepting of different kinds of minds? 

     I am so grateful to have her in my life as watching her struggle through the last ten years with school and society is truly inspirational! 

Your post is very thoughtful and well written. You make some excellent points.

I think too many people on this board are speaking strictly from an emotional standpoint rather than using common sense and logic.

You've been in the middle of this issue and speak from experience....I don't envy you.

It's a tough issue!