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Topic : 07/03 School Discipline: Out of Control?

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Created on : Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 07:29:46 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/05/08) When you send your children to school, you expect them to be taught in a nurturing environment. But what should you do if you learn your child has experienced extreme discipline by those entrusted to teach him or her? Eva and Doug's autistic daughter, Isabel, was 8 years old when her teachers claimed her behavior became too difficult to handle, so they sent her to the time-out room. Cameras captured Isabel's time spent in isolation, which her parents say lasted for over three hours. Her parents say they had worked with the teachers regarding disciplining Isabel and were panicked and horrified when they saw the footage. Next, Martha says her 12-year-old daughter was in a classroom when $42 went missing. In an effort to find the money, a group of girls were strip-searched. You won't believe who reportedly ordered the investigation. Martha says her daughter is devastated and will never be the same. Then, when 5-year-old Gabriel constantly complained that his teacher was mean and yelled at him, his mom, Tabitha, sent him to school with a tape recorder in his pocket. Hear the audio recordings and find out the shocking information Tabitha discovered. Psychologist Ken Merrell, special education teacher Kathy Riley and civil litigation attorney Areva Martin weigh in on these cases. And, after years of being relentlessly bullied by fellow students, Jeremiah brought the torment to a tragic end. His father, Jeff, joins Dr. Phil and Jay McGraw to speak for the first time on television. Plus, if you're a teen and want to talk about what's happening at your school, join the Teen Talk message boards.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 4, 2009, 11:03 am CDT

TV Listings

Quote From: goldenhammer

what is a name of the tv station your programs is sending on. Hope to hear from you.

 

love brian from kolding Denmark

Well, all tv listing are different depending on the town in which you live or one nearest to you.  I live near Houston, TX and Dr. Phil aires on Channel 2 (KPRC) in my area.  Check your local listings if you know for certain you get the Dr. Phil show in Denmark.  Hope this helps.
 
July 4, 2009, 11:41 am CDT

07/03 School Discipline: Out of Control?

Quote From: riverotter1968

the problem with special ed is the same as it was in Orwell's Animal Farm. With special ed: all students are equal, but some are more equal than others. I'm all for special ed kids getting an education, but if they are to be mainstreamed or put into the regular population, then they need to suffer the same consequences and follow the same discipline rules as regular students. It not, they need their own schools or to be seperated from regular students.  Regular ed teachers are getting more and more spec ed students, and if you have a class of  30 students, and have to bend over backwards for a spec ed kid, it's not fair to the othe 29.
Having been a special-ed student long ago, I do agree with you.  I wasn't the type to hit, spit, kick, scratch, or punch other students and teachers.  I suffered a stroke as a infant and had a harder time leaning.   I was mainstreamed my 5th grade year and it was hell.  So, my parents home-schooled me from 6th-12th grade.  It was the best thing for me at the time, but I feel like I lost a  lot of my socialization skills because it was me, myself and I.  I don't regret home-schooling because it completely eliminated kids making fun of me any further, but I do regret the fact that it's made me a hermitt crab so-to-speak.  I struggle for conversation and I have a tendancy to look miserable in a social setting.  Therefore, I find it easier to just stay home.  That in itself, is working my emotions and not in a good way.  It really is a lose/lose situation for special-ed students because if they're in mainstrem classes they suffer the wrath of other students that don't understand the disability and really don't care.  But put them in special-ed classes or home-school and it destroys their social life.  Which is the lesser of the two evils? 
 
July 4, 2009, 7:02 pm CDT

To those who judge!!!

There are neurologically typical children and neurologically disabled children. I have one of each.
To those people who judge parents of children with learning, social, emotional, behavioral struggles, on top of physical, processing, sensory, DEVASTATING struggles, and especially the gifted and acutely perceptive ones...no one and I would challenge anyone to try to pull this apart, works harder than parents of these children, to teach right from wrong, socially appropriate behaviors, logical consequences,
social stories, cues..it is our world, our language..but you do not understand that there is a leak in the boat where all of the effort goes in.

I get it..you do not want your kid around these children..taking away from your typical. I have a typical child. She is stunning, brilliant, everyone wants to be her friend..teachers flock to her...
Other parents want her over..

We are both of their parents..we work as hard with both of them because frankly, typical people, including the average mindset of most message board posts I have read...need a lot of social skills and sensitivity training.

It blows me away that people, teachers, administrators, all want socially appropriate children but there is more pathology, petty ness, limited thinkers in education than any other field. The mentality is one step above retail.

I say with with a teaching background, advanced training, an instructional designer and as a passionate believer in learning..

I only know a few good teachers...I consider myself one of them..
I also saw my son's teacher drag him out of kindergarten within 4 minutes of drop off and heave him on the floor and learned my brilliant, kind, shirt off the back child had been locked up...he will never go back. not to make teachers or your lives easier but for his to have a chance.

I think about the cyber bullying, the general bully mentality and I think..we would want him to be like them...no thank you.
 
July 6, 2009, 3:32 am CDT

Disciplinging wrong child - Dr. Phil, input please... I want to know if this can help other parents who find themselves where my daughter and I were 3 years ago

I will try not to be confusing, but I am leaving out specific names to protect identities of those involved.

 

I have a daughter who is currently preparing to enter 5th grade. She had a really rough start at school, as she was bullied throughout Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade. It got so bad in 2nd grade, that the school asked my mother to come monitor recesses (I deal with depression, and felt my anger at seeing my child hurt would be detrimental to the situation.) On one occasion, a group of children came out after lunch and were gathered around a child who was hunkered down to the ground as if she were doing a tornado drill, but without the desk. These children were poking, prodding, kicking, and mimicking the child on the ground to try to make her angry enough to lash out so she would find herself in trouble with the playground monitors and principal yet again. My mom happened to be on lunch playground duty that day, and while none of the other teachers did a thing to see what was happening, my mother walked over to the girls and asked what they were doing. They laughed and said something to the effect of “we’re trying to make her mad so she’ll get in trouble.” Mom simply told them they needed to find something else to do. It wasn’t until the children (this has been 3 years ago, so I forget if it was 4 or 5 children) left that my mother noticed it was her granddaughter on the ground, in tears. Mom told me that the look of relief when she looked up and saw grandma there was just beyond explanation. So, my mom found a bench and sat with her the rest of recess.

 

Up to this point, mom and I had visited the Principal’s office on several occasions. At first, we were told to instruct her to go tell a teacher, the principal, or the counselor if she was being picked on, and were ultimately told that my daughter was instigating these situations because no one thought her “complaints” were worthy of, as her first teacher put it, “tattling”. However, my mom clearly saw my daughter was NOT the instigator, and that being bullied made the most sense for what was making my daughter wake in the middle of the night with nightmares and sleepwalking because she was stressed beyond her coping point. We even had the Principal change teachers after first term; however, she could not escape her first teacher because each grade’s teacher is responsible for monitoring their recesses. Mom suspects that the first teacher was told to leave the playground if she saw mom there because she always turned around and went back inside when she spotted her. I also observed at our school Thanksgiving lunch that the same little girl who kept picking on her in her first classroom ran straight to her and grabbed her by both arms and yelled, “Let’s play chase!” I looked the little girl straight in the eye and told her she knew that was against the rules and I did not appreciate her trying to involve my daughter in breaking the rules, and with that, the girl went her own way and played elsewhere.

 

This went on all year. Finally, a couple of weeks before the end of school, my daughter was being spit on by the same children who had her huddled on the ground earlier in the year. Thanks to an Elmo movie, she knows the difference between blowing raspberries and actually spitting. She, unfortunately only had the first teacher she’d had that year on the playground to report to. She was told to go away and quit tattling. What is a girl in second grade supposed to do when the teacher won’t listen or help? She did the next best thing, and when the little girl came and spit on her again, my daughter elbowed her in the stomach and was immediately written up and sent to the Principal’s office with a note that she instigated a fight for unknown reasons… despite the fact she went to the teacher FIRST to ask for help! I was so angry that words just couldn’t express it. My mom and I found ourselves in the Principal’s office again, and demanded that the other girls also be talked to because we felt very strongly that my daughter was being singled out.

 

It took me 2 weeks to write the teacher a letter because I was so upset. I went the day before the last day of school and provided her with a copy as well as one for the teacher, and asked that it be given to her after classes were dismissed for the last day of school.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

The letter read as follows (again, not providing identifying names): Please note as you read this that I have a BS in Psychology, and graduated with honors, then proceeded to take the majority of the classes needed for a Master’s in Counseling. When I felt I did not want to take that direction, I did obtain my Master of Business Administration, but as mentioned above, I have issues with depression, and found myself on disability shortly before finishing my final class. My point it, that I do have at least an educational background, and minimal hands-on experience working in the Psychology profession, so I am not approaching this with no prior knowledge of how to both approach this situation from a psychological AND business perspective.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

 

Mrs. First Teacher,

 

I have sought counseling with a licensed psychologist over the situation with my daughter and was advised to communicate directly with you. After a great deal of consideration, I have decided to do so, and bring up some of the issues she suggested. I know this situation effects me a lot emotionally, and I will try to communicate as calmly and rationally as I can here.

 

First and foremost, please explain to me your definition of tattling. When my daughter approached you on Friday, May 4th, to ask for your help because she was being picked on and needed your help, she was told to go away because she was tattling. The Webster dictionary defines tattling as “to utter or disclose in gossip or chatter” or as “idle talk”, neither of which fits what my daughter was trying to do the day she came to you for help. Since she could not rely on you to help her, please explain to me how she was supposed to react and handle her situation without resorting to the only way she knew to get the girls to leave her alone since she had already tried the route that Mrs. Principal, Mrs. Counselor, her grandmother, and myself have repeatedly reminded her to use: Go to the teachers for help if someone is picking on you, and they will help. That day, you failed my child, and then punished her for your shortcomings in a situation that should have never happened if you had taken a moment to listen to her and resolve the situation before it escalated to her feeling so helpless she had to defend herself. Just because you don’t physically see or hear the other girls does not mean my daughter is making it up. The other girls are making sure the teachers are out of earshot when they are tormenting her. The School handbook states in the Welcome section that “We will try to provide a safe and successful learning experience for our students.” My daughter isn’t safe at school right now.

 

I didn’t know whether to cry or be outraged when I dropped her off at school on Monday, May 7. As we were turning into the parking lot, she turned to look at me, and in a low voice, she said, “Mom, I don’t trust my teachers.” I asked her why, and her reply was that they didn’t listen to her and keep her safe. All I could do was look at her and tell her we were going to be praying that the situation would change, and that grandma and I would ask Mrs. Principal about it.

 

My daughter is at a point where she hates going to school. She looks for reasons not to go. She got very upset and cried when I wouldn’t let her stay home on my birthday (April 30th). Something is very wrong when a child hates school so much when she’s only in second grade. I see the hopelessness, helplessness, and frustration in her when she comes home from school crying almost every day.

 

I firmly believe a statement from Dr. Phil McGraw: “If you are not a part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem.” I am asking and expecting you to step up and be a part of the solution here, not only for the sake of my child, but for the sake of all the children who face similar situations now and in the future. The decision to dismiss a child who is asking for your help as being a tattle tale, whether one time or repeatedly, as in my daughter’s case, has lifelong implications, not just daylong implications. Some of these can include lifelong battles with either internalizing what they experience daily (expressed as low self esteem, depression, anxiety, etc) or externalizing them (expressed as aggression because of feeling no one else will protect them). (Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_rejection). Please stop and think about this the next time a child reaches out to you for help. You act as their lifeline and safety net when they are away from home and do not have their parents to directly protect them. Again, I am asking you to step up and take this part of your job seriously.

 

Sincerely seeking your assistance on this matter,

 

 

Teri

Mother of My Daughter

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

I am proud to say that, with the assistance of Mrs. Principal and Mr. Third Grade teacher, we were able to make a lot of process toward getting my daughter more interested in school, and the bullying was finally being taken seriously. No child should have to endure being bullied, no matter the age, and my mother and I did not give up on the situation, we did as Dr. Phil always says, “You do it UNTIL!”

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 
July 9, 2009, 10:01 am CDT

Tv listings

 Hello Shelly 80

 

 Thank you very much for the respont on my question . It was nice of you, and it helped me a littel bite. The reason  I am asking, is because the show you see in Denmark today is four months old, it is from a tv canal called tv 3 viasat.

 

Love Brian, Kolding Denmark

 
July 23, 2009, 10:03 am CDT

07/03 School Discipline: Out of Control?

Quote From: terinlauren

I will try not to be confusing, but I am leaving out specific names to protect identities of those involved.

 

I have a daughter who is currently preparing to enter 5th grade. She had a really rough start at school, as she was bullied throughout Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade. It got so bad in 2nd grade, that the school asked my mother to come monitor recesses (I deal with depression, and felt my anger at seeing my child hurt would be detrimental to the situation.) On one occasion, a group of children came out after lunch and were gathered around a child who was hunkered down to the ground as if she were doing a tornado drill, but without the desk. These children were poking, prodding, kicking, and mimicking the child on the ground to try to make her angry enough to lash out so she would find herself in trouble with the playground monitors and principal yet again. My mom happened to be on lunch playground duty that day, and while none of the other teachers did a thing to see what was happening, my mother walked over to the girls and asked what they were doing. They laughed and said something to the effect of were trying to make her mad so shell get in trouble. Mom simply told them they needed to find something else to do. It wasnt until the children (this has been 3 years ago, so I forget if it was 4 or 5 children) left that my mother noticed it was her granddaughter on the ground, in tears. Mom told me that the look of relief when she looked up and saw grandma there was just beyond explanation. So, my mom found a bench and sat with her the rest of recess.

 

Up to this point, mom and I had visited the Principals office on several occasions. At first, we were told to instruct her to go tell a teacher, the principal, or the counselor if she was being picked on, and were ultimately told that my daughter was instigating these situations because no one thought her complaints were worthy of, as her first teacher put it, tattling. However, my mom clearly saw my daughter was NOT the instigator, and that being bullied made the most sense for what was making my daughter wake in the middle of the night with nightmares and sleepwalking because she was stressed beyond her coping point. We even had the Principal change teachers after first term; however, she could not escape her first teacher because each grades teacher is responsible for monitoring their recesses. Mom suspects that the first teacher was told to leave the playground if she saw mom there because she always turned around and went back inside when she spotted her. I also observed at our school Thanksgiving lunch that the same little girl who kept picking on her in her first classroom ran straight to her and grabbed her by both arms and yelled, Lets play chase! I looked the little girl straight in the eye and told her she knew that was against the rules and I did not appreciate her trying to involve my daughter in breaking the rules, and with that, the girl went her own way and played elsewhere.

 

This went on all year. Finally, a couple of weeks before the end of school, my daughter was being spit on by the same children who had her huddled on the ground earlier in the year. Thanks to an Elmo movie, she knows the difference between blowing raspberries and actually spitting. She, unfortunately only had the first teacher shed had that year on the playground to report to. She was told to go away and quit tattling. What is a girl in second grade supposed to do when the teacher wont listen or help? She did the next best thing, and when the little girl came and spit on her again, my daughter elbowed her in the stomach and was immediately written up and sent to the Principals office with a note that she instigated a fight for unknown reasons despite the fact she went to the teacher FIRST to ask for help! I was so angry that words just couldnt express it. My mom and I found ourselves in the Principals office again, and demanded that the other girls also be talked to because we felt very strongly that my daughter was being singled out.

 

It took me 2 weeks to write the teacher a letter because I was so upset. I went the day before the last day of school and provided her with a copy as well as one for the teacher, and asked that it be given to her after classes were dismissed for the last day of school.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

The letter read as follows (again, not providing identifying names): Please note as you read this that I have a BS in Psychology, and graduated with honors, then proceeded to take the majority of the classes needed for a Masters in Counseling. When I felt I did not want to take that direction, I did obtain my Master of Business Administration, but as mentioned above, I have issues with depression, and found myself on disability shortly before finishing my final class. My point it, that I do have at least an educational background, and minimal hands-on experience working in the Psychology profession, so I am not approaching this with no prior knowledge of how to both approach this situation from a psychological AND business perspective.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

 

Mrs. First Teacher,

 

I have sought counseling with a licensed psychologist over the situation with my daughter and was advised to communicate directly with you. After a great deal of consideration, I have decided to do so, and bring up some of the issues she suggested. I know this situation effects me a lot emotionally, and I will try to communicate as calmly and rationally as I can here.

 

First and foremost, please explain to me your definition of tattling. When my daughter approached you on Friday, May 4th, to ask for your help because she was being picked on and needed your help, she was told to go away because she was tattling. The Webster dictionary defines tattling as to utter or disclose in gossip or chatter or as idle talk, neither of which fits what my daughter was trying to do the day she came to you for help. Since she could not rely on you to help her, please explain to me how she was supposed to react and handle her situation without resorting to the only way she knew to get the girls to leave her alone since she had already tried the route that Mrs. Principal, Mrs. Counselor, her grandmother, and myself have repeatedly reminded her to use: Go to the teachers for help if someone is picking on you, and they will help. That day, you failed my child, and then punished her for your shortcomings in a situation that should have never happened if you had taken a moment to listen to her and resolve the situation before it escalated to her feeling so helpless she had to defend herself. Just because you dont physically see or hear the other girls does not mean my daughter is making it up. The other girls are making sure the teachers are out of earshot when they are tormenting her. The School handbook states in the Welcome section that We will try to provide a safe and successful learning experience for our students. My daughter isnt safe at school right now.

 

I didnt know whether to cry or be outraged when I dropped her off at school on Monday, May 7. As we were turning into the parking lot, she turned to look at me, and in a low voice, she said, Mom, I dont trust my teachers. I asked her why, and her reply was that they didnt listen to her and keep her safe. All I could do was look at her and tell her we were going to be praying that the situation would change, and that grandma and I would ask Mrs. Principal about it.

 

My daughter is at a point where she hates going to school. She looks for reasons not to go. She got very upset and cried when I wouldnt let her stay home on my birthday (April 30th). Something is very wrong when a child hates school so much when shes only in second grade. I see the hopelessness, helplessness, and frustration in her when she comes home from school crying almost every day.

 

I firmly believe a statement from Dr. Phil McGraw: If you are not a part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem. I am asking and expecting you to step up and be a part of the solution here, not only for the sake of my child, but for the sake of all the children who face similar situations now and in the future. The decision to dismiss a child who is asking for your help as being a tattle tale, whether one time or repeatedly, as in my daughters case, has lifelong implications, not just daylong implications. Some of these can include lifelong battles with either internalizing what they experience daily (expressed as low self esteem, depression, anxiety, etc) or externalizing them (expressed as aggression because of feeling no one else will protect them). (Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_rejection). Please stop and think about this the next time a child reaches out to you for help. You act as their lifeline and safety net when they are away from home and do not have their parents to directly protect them. Again, I am asking you to step up and take this part of your job seriously.

 

Sincerely seeking your assistance on this matter,

 

 

Teri

Mother of My Daughter

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

I am proud to say that, with the assistance of Mrs. Principal and Mr. Third Grade teacher, we were able to make a lot of process toward getting my daughter more interested in school, and the bullying was finally being taken seriously. No child should have to endure being bullied, no matter the age, and my mother and I did not give up on the situation, we did as Dr. Phil always says, You do it UNTIL!

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Teri, I feel sorry for you! I in my old times had it to. It's time for YOU to go to school and talk with the children that bully her. And say it's not fun for her, tell them that they maybe have to hangout with ur daughter. Invite them to you're house go bowling. This is the best thing to solve it. Or send her to a new school. And make her happy. e.g say new children new friends. Go to a park or somewhere else and have a fun day-weekend out with ur daughter, u will feel the diffrence, she will be ready to go to school again.



regards,

huNthi

Belgian helper.
 
July 23, 2009, 3:18 pm CDT

Bullying can be stopped!

I have been a school counselor for more than 10 years.  Because I have worked with and listened to such a large number of bullied students, I feel that I can tell you first hand, "As a parent, teacher, or administrator, never, repeat never, underestimate the damage that bullying does."  The immediate and long-term effects can be something that one never gets over."  Because of this, as a school counselor, I feel it is my responsibility (as well as every other faculty and staff member) to insure that students are physically and emotionally safe at all timesThe very first week of school whether it be elementary, middle or high school, I go into every classroom and tell the students this:  "You have the right to be in this building, walk down these halls, and be in our classrooms without ANYTHING uncomfortable being said or done to you, and  I stand behind that 100 percent!  If you come to me with a problem, I promise you, I will make sure it stops."  You would be shocked how many students come to me for help right after that and say, "I could tell if I told you, you were serious about doing something about it."

 

When my last principal had any parents come to him concerned about their student being bullied, the principal would  turn it over to me.  The parent would usually say something like, "I know there probably isn't anything the school can really do to stop this. . ."  I reply that we can and it will be stopped before their student goes to lunch today, and for them to call back by then if they would like to make sure.

 

Physical and emotional bullying can be stopped.  It takes a lot of networking, building trust and relationships with students, and being able to effectively and positively communicate with all students, bullied or bully.  School staff with the right skills and professionalism can make schools a safe place for our children, and shouldn't it just be a given that you can trust the safety of your child's education?

 
August 16, 2009, 12:09 pm CDT

CHILDREN IN SCHOOL

Quote From: ruthere2012

     fond memories are what kids should have but  not often the case. I remenber when my son was in the first grade he was running outside with a stick ( which believe me when I say he was always told by me not to do... hello you'll poke your eye out ) and there was another child chasing him he looked behide him and ran over a child in front of him falling on him and stabbing the child in the leg with the stick.. It was an accident he wasn't even looking at the child he hurt.  I was called to the school at which time the principal acted like my son had wielded a weapon and when  I said that i would not stand for that that i was sorry that the child was  hurt however it was an accident the teacher decided that she would give her own brand of disipine by never allowing him a turn at first in line allways skipping him when it came to extra activities that all the other children were allowed to have. I went to the school,called school officials,had meetings with the teacher,and principal. Nothing in the classroom ever changed. My son is now 16 yrs old and to this day he remembers how that teacher glared at him that day with the stick. MY son has succeded in his school years because  of his mother standing by him encouraging him and stressing how inportant school is to his life but more so for him who has excelled despite the nasty teacher he still remembers. This isn't the only bad experance he has had but it is the one that comes easy to his mind. My son has been bullied and he has been accused of bulling. I think that we give our teachers too much credit  not all are good teachers and they dont deserve the pay we do give them.  We also give schools too much credit they also often dont deserve the money that we vote to give them. When my son was bullied they told him to just ignore it or another good one is dont tattle. I think that when schools say they dont know its happening they either are liars or they ned to come out of the break room. I think that if children are not learning like they should its because the teacher has not done their job and maybe we should pay them on how well their kids do on their tests and  how well they can handle their classrooms without resorting to being a bully themselves. Not just oh you are a  teacher how great and wonderful  heres your money!!!!
WHEN MY NOW 17 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS IN THE 2ND GRADE-SHE FOUND A CHRCH BULLITIN ON THE FLOOR IN THE HALL & KEPT IT, WELL ONE HER FELLOW CALSSMATES TOLD THE TEACHER THAT SHE STOLE IT FROM HER, SO WITH HER WORD AGAINST THE OTHER CHILDS THE TEACHER & PRINCILPE DECIDE TO MAKE A BIG ISSUE OF THE SITUATION & PROCEEDED TO TAKE MY DAUGHTER TO THE OFFICE THE WHOLE TIME TELLING HER THAT SHE WAS THEIF & WOULD BE PUNISHED WITH A PADDLING (I SIGN A NOTERIZED PAPER EVERY YEAR WITH EACH OF MY 4 CHILDREN THAT THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE PADDLED FOR ANY PUNISHMENT IN SCHOOL-I AM A MEMBER OF PARENTS AGAINST PADDLING IN SCHOOL- NOT THAT I HAVE NEVER SPANKED MY CHILDREN BECAUSE I HAVE BUT I FEEL IT SHOLD BE THE PARENTS AND CERTAINLY NOT WITH A BOARD WITH A 200ib MAN BEHIND IT!!)  ANY WAY I WAS CALLED AT WORK & HE ASKED FOR MY PERMISSION TO PADDLE HER AFTER EXPLAINING THE WHOLE ORDEAL TO ME, AND OF COURSE I SAID ABSOLUTELY NOT!!  I WENT UP TO THE SCHOOL AND MY DAUGHTER WAS HISTERICAL AND VERY SCARED.  I TALKED TO HER AND TOLD HER THAT IF SHE FOUND SOMETHING THAT IS NOT HERS IT SHOLUD BE RETURNED OR GIVEN TO THE TEACHER TO FIND THE RIGHTFUL OWNER, ANY WAY THIS RUINED MY DAUGHTER WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR- I HAD TO FORCE HER TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY. SHE HAS KNOW WENT ON AND IS A SENIOR THIS YEAR YEA!!  BUT IS THE MOST THOUGHTFUL AND KIND HEARTED CHILD IN HER CLASS.  MY POINT IS TEACHERS NEED TO REMEMBER HOW MUCH OF AN IMPRESSION THEY ARE IN OUR YOUNG PEOPLES LIVES-AND IT WOULD BE SO WONDERFUL IF IT WAS A GOOD ONE-JUST TREAT THEM AS YOUR OWN.  I AM A NURSE AND ENCOUNTER DIFFICULT CHILDREN EVERY DAY-BUT THATS LIFE AND WE WERE ALL SMALL AT ONE TIME ALSO. 
 
August 16, 2009, 12:33 pm CDT

HATS OFF TO YOU

Quote From: schcounselor

I have been a school counselor for more than 10 years.  Because I have worked with and listened to such a large number of bullied students, I feel that I can tell you first hand, "As a parent, teacher, or administrator, never, repeat never, underestimate the damage that bullying does."  The immediate and long-term effects can be something that one never gets over."  Because of this, as a school counselor, I feel it is my responsibility (as well as every other faculty and staff member) to insure that students are physically and emotionally safe at all timesThe very first week of school whether it be elementary, middle or high school, I go into every classroom and tell the students this:  "You have the right to be in this building, walk down these halls, and be in our classrooms without ANYTHING uncomfortable being said or done to you, and  I stand behind that 100 percent!  If you come to me with a problem, I promise you, I will make sure it stops."  You would be shocked how many students come to me for help right after that and say, "I could tell if I told you, you were serious about doing something about it."

 

When my last principal had any parents come to him concerned about their student being bullied, the principal would  turn it over to me.  The parent would usually say something like, "I know there probably isn't anything the school can really do to stop this. . ."  I reply that we can and it will be stopped before their student goes to lunch today, and for them to call back by then if they would like to make sure.

 

Physical and emotional bullying can be stopped.  It takes a lot of networking, building trust and relationships with students, and being able to effectively and positively communicate with all students, bullied or bully.  School staff with the right skills and professionalism can make schools a safe place for our children, and shouldn't it just be a given that you can trust the safety of your child's education?

BEING A MOTHER OF 4 GIRLS-AND EXPERIENCING SOME TROUBLE WITH ONE OF MY GIRLS (THE SHY ONE) I COMMEND YOUR ATTITUDE, THAT IS HOW "ALL" OF OUR TEACHERS (OR ANY MEMBER OF A SCHOOL FACILITY) SHOULD FEEL!!  OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE GENERATION- IT DOESN'T TAKE A ROCKET SCEINTIST TO FIGURE OUT THAT HOW THEY ARE TREATED AND CARED FOR WILL REFLECT ON US FOR EVER.  IF THE TRUTH IS KNOWN MOST CHILDREN THAT BULLY NEED HELP ALSO- BUT.. IT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE PUT TO A STOP IMMEDIATLEY- THE CHILD THAT IS BEING BULLIED MUST BE PROTECTED PHYSICALLY & EMOTIONALLY.  TWO TRUE SAYINGS I WILL ALWAYS STAND BY ARE: "IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD", AND " IT IS NOT OUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO BE  A PARENT IT IS  A PRIVLAGE".  I SAY THIS BECAUSE SOMETIMES THESE PROBLEMS THAT DO OCCUR DO START FROM SOMETHING AT HOME & IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF OUR EDUCATORS TO TRY & FIND THAT OUT OR AT LEAST MAKE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON EACH CHILD IN SCHOOL, AFTER ALL THEY ARE AT SCHOOL MORE THAN HOME DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR- AND THAT MAY BE THE ONLY CHANCE THE BULLY CHILD HAS AT GETTING SOME KIND OF HELP-BUT UNTIL THEN THE CHILD BEING BULLIED {MUST} BE PROTECED AND HAS  A RIGHT TO FEEL SAFE AT SCHOOL.
 
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