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Topic : 08/02 Brainwashed Brides

Number of Replies: 85
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 28, 2005, 03:30:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original air date 05/03/05) Imagine growing up in a family with 56 siblings and a father who keeps dozens of wives. It's happening in an unusual religious sect in Arizona and Utah, where girls as young as 14 are forced to marry men three times their age and have as many children as possible. Meet two teens who escaped this world of polygamy and alleged abuse a year ago. Fearing that they'll be damned to hell for running away, they're even considering going back. Can Dr. Phil help them leave their past behind? Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

Read previous messages in the archived discussion.


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August 11, 2005, 4:05 pm CDT

quiet boards

Not much going on here tonight.lol oh well be back sometime.
 
August 16, 2005, 8:43 pm CDT

Didn't know

Quote From: szmclennan

Why weren't you on the program?
I didn't know they were on tv until it showed. That was when I found out where they were.
 
August 16, 2005, 8:58 pm CDT

sad

Quote From: deepfire

The sad thing is, this is very real and it isn't going to go away until the government/powers that be/whatever find a way to break into the secret codes and documents and basically just the world.

 

I say this from experience.  I was 15 when I met my ex husband. I wasn't raised in polygamy, but when they're looking for some 'fresh blood' from the 'outside' they are very good at lying and convincing you what ever they think you want to hear.  I didn't marry him at 15, I married him at 19, had 3 babies rather close together (also had 2 miscarriages) because of family pressure to have a family.  Once we were married everything about him and his family changed.  I was told which family buisness to work in, where I was going to live, what car I was going to drive...and when I lived in Salt Lake where they are based, I was told which stores to shop in, which restaurants to go to...everything else like that.  Women are so brainwashed that they're nothing without a husband and family...the girls are all encouraged to only get enough schooling to do the job they need with the 'family' and marry young.  The leader of the group had 17 wives when I left 5 years ago and was going for more, my ex husbands father had three...I didn't know about any of this until almost a year after I was married!  They hide it that well!  If some one who's gotten themselves into the cult doesn't immediately find out about what's going on, how can we expect people from outside to figure it out?  Many of my ex family relatives are in the news, a few are in jail, but not nearly all those that should be.  All I can be grateful for is when I was married we moved to one of the other states that the 'family' owned businesses in, and when I found out about the polygamy and discussed it with my then husband he said he believed it was right, I was pregnant with our first child and told him that if he ever told me he wanted another wife I would disappear with his children.  I also am grateful that when I tried to fight to get out and get a divorce (which ended in my ex husband getting custody of the kids because of the 'family' attorneys) my daughters are not in the heart of what's going on.  I have them enough to make sure that they know what life is really like versus what their fathers family teaches them.  They are now old enough to start asking questions, and I'm prepared to be very honest with them all (so far only the oldest has figured out about the polygamy, but the other two are sure to start asking questions as well).

 

I know about the second sets of books, the ways they lie, the law of consecration they live by, the women not being able to own anything...is there anything I can do about it?  Not really.  I couldn't even get custody of my own kids because I didn't have the money or power to battle the 'family'.  Do I wish there was something I could do?  EVERY DAY!

It is all very sad and frustrating. I also have family there. I would like it if every one of those women had the same insight you have.
 
September 7, 2005, 2:54 pm CDT

Some misunderstanding?

Quote From: 101160

MORMONS,POLYGAMISMS,JV'S THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN MY EYES.WE HAVE MORMONS AND JV'S IN OUR AREA AND THEY ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT.COMING TO THE DOOR TO SPREAD THE WORD OF GOD AND SAYING JOIN OUR GROUP OH YOU WILL BE SAVED.I ESPECIALLY GET ANGRY WHEN THEY SEND THE KIDS TO THE DOOR AND SIT IN THE CAR.KIDS COMING LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS.DON'T TELL ME I AM NOT RIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE HAD THEM ALL.WE DON'T GO DOOR TO DOOR LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS OR TRY TO PUSH LITERATURE AT PEOPLE.WHY SHOULD THEY.FREEDOM THERE IS NONE .WHY CAN'T YOU WEAR YOUR HAIR THE WAY YOU WANT ?WHY CAN'T YOU DRESS THE WAY YOU WANT.AND AS FAR AS BEING FRIENDLY,HUH !!!SOME WALK BY YOU WIH THERE NOSE SO HIGH IN THE AIR THEY DARE NOT TO SAY HELLO.FROM MY EXPERIENCES WITH LDS OR JV'S NO DIFFERENCE THEN POLYGAMY.

Hi  

   

Mormons don't send their children to your door. Well, their 19-21 year-old young men or women may come to your door as missionaries, but they're certainly not looking for handouts. They're young adults who made their own decision and paid their own way for two years to share something good with anyone who's interested. We believe very strongly in agency--that we are all free to choose. We offer information about our church so you can make an informed decision, that's all. There are no strings attached. (We believe in giving service too, so those missionaries will usually ask if they can help you with anything--no strings. They help a LOT of people move!)  

   

Some of the activities for young people might rarely send a teenager to your door, but only in the fun of a scavenger hunt--not with any religious message. The Bigger or Better game is another fun one, and I've had teens from other groups come to my door too. Most people get into the spirit of the game, but the odd time I'm sure they disturb some people at a bad time. Regrets.  

   

You know how, when you've seen a good movie or read a good book, you want to tell your friends so they can share the enjoyment of something you liked? That's how it is with our church. I love it, and think maybe you might too. But it's always your choice whether or not to find out more about it. And if you do learn more, and decide it's not for you, that's okay too.  Our 11th Article of Faith states:  document.write(drawVerse(11,169168)); We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.  

   

If you want to know more, check out www.mormon.org  

   

 
September 7, 2005, 3:02 pm CDT

Some misunderstanding?

Quote From: 101160

MORMONS,POLYGAMISMS,JV'S THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN MY EYES.WE HAVE MORMONS AND JV'S IN OUR AREA AND THEY ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT.COMING TO THE DOOR TO SPREAD THE WORD OF GOD AND SAYING JOIN OUR GROUP OH YOU WILL BE SAVED.I ESPECIALLY GET ANGRY WHEN THEY SEND THE KIDS TO THE DOOR AND SIT IN THE CAR.KIDS COMING LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS.DON'T TELL ME I AM NOT RIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE HAD THEM ALL.WE DON'T GO DOOR TO DOOR LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS OR TRY TO PUSH LITERATURE AT PEOPLE.WHY SHOULD THEY.FREEDOM THERE IS NONE .WHY CAN'T YOU WEAR YOUR HAIR THE WAY YOU WANT ?WHY CAN'T YOU DRESS THE WAY YOU WANT.AND AS FAR AS BEING FRIENDLY,HUH !!!SOME WALK BY YOU WIH THERE NOSE SO HIGH IN THE AIR THEY DARE NOT TO SAY HELLO.FROM MY EXPERIENCES WITH LDS OR JV'S NO DIFFERENCE THEN POLYGAMY.

Hi  

   

Mormons don't send their children to your door. Well, their 19-21 year-old young men or women may come to your door as missionaries, but they're certainly not looking for handouts. They're young adults who made their own decision and paid their own way for two years to share something good with anyone who's interested. We believe very strongly in agency--that we are all free to choose. We offer information about our church so you can make an informed decision, that's all. There are no strings attached. (We believe in giving service too, so those missionaries will usually ask if they can help you with anything--no strings. They help a LOT of people move!)  

   

Some of the activities for young people might rarely send a teenager to your door, but only in the fun of a scavenger hunt--not with any religious message. The Bigger or Better game is another fun one, and I've had teens from other groups come to my door too. Most people get into the spirit of the game, but the odd time I'm sure they disturb some people at a bad time. Regrets.  

   

You know how, when you've seen a good movie or read a good book, you want to tell your friends so they can share the enjoyment of something you liked? That's how it is with our church. I love it, and think maybe you might too. But it's always your choice whether or not to find out more about it. And if you do learn more, and decide it's not for you, that's okay too.  Our 11th Article of Faith states:  document.write(drawVerse(11,169168)); We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.  

   

If you want to know more, check out www.mormon.org  

 
September 7, 2005, 8:19 pm CDT

Thanks

Hi there, 

  

I'm from Australia and wanted to say "Wow".  The Brainwashed Brides show has just aired here.  I wished I had seen that show 20 years ago.  My family joined a religious cult group when I was 11.  I ran away when I was 20 and have not seen my family since despite my best efforts.  Looking at those girls sitting on the couch with Dr Phil I could relate so much to them.  I remember being overwhelmed, knowing that I had made the right choice to leave but bewildered with "what now".  The cult expert (can't remember his name) summed up everything so well.  Even now, 20 years later I have vivid memories of the loneliness and fear I experienced back then.  It still makes me sad and teary to think of it.   

  

The show gave me a new appreciation for what I have achieved in spite of the difficult circumstances.  Those two young women are definitely not on their own and there is soo much hope.  The journey is not easy.  I still miss my family terribly.  What I do have now is choices.  I am free from judgment.  I have wonderful, supportive friends who are like my family and I now have my own family to love and nuture.   

  

To those lovely girls, well done!!  I am very proud of you.  It takes a long time to "unwind" those tapes that have been played to you over and over again by the "prophet".  In time you will realise and accept that it is not the truth. 

  

Be kind and gentle with yourself. 

  

Much love 

  

From Able_TTD in Australia 

 
September 8, 2005, 7:29 pm CDT

been there done that!

I felt a lot of empathey for the two girls on the show because I know how scarry the world seems when you leave the closed society of a cult. My husband and I left when our daughter was 1 1/2 years old because we were not malleable enough to keep them happy so we became a taget for gossip and anyone who wanted to make our lives a misery! We knew that our family would use all the emotional blackmail that they could so we left in utter secrecy. We sold our house (that was in the same street as several other families from the cult) with out putting a sign out the front and moved a bit of the furniture at a time. We believe that God was looking after us every step of the way because we could have been found out at any time and all hell would have broken loose! Any how it was the best thing that we ever did and my children can grow into the people that God meant them to be. I have even done a bit of growing myself! Those girls would realise by now that the world will not gobble you up and spit out the bones but I understand why they were scared. We were too and very sure that God would punish us for leaving the church. Everytime my daughter was sick I was certain that she would have menigicoccl and die. I now have a son and both my children are healthy and well rounded little people.
 
September 25, 2005, 3:05 pm CDT

echoooooooooo

Quote From: echooooooo

Hi  

   

Mormons don't send their children to your door. Well, their 19-21 year-old young men or women may come to your door as missionaries, but they're certainly not looking for handouts. They're young adults who made their own decision and paid their own way for two years to share something good with anyone who's interested. We believe very strongly in agency--that we are all free to choose. We offer information about our church so you can make an informed decision, that's all. There are no strings attached. (We believe in giving service too, so those missionaries will usually ask if they can help you with anything--no strings. They help a LOT of people move!)  

   

Some of the activities for young people might rarely send a teenager to your door, but only in the fun of a scavenger hunt--not with any religious message. The Bigger or Better game is another fun one, and I've had teens from other groups come to my door too. Most people get into the spirit of the game, but the odd time I'm sure they disturb some people at a bad time. Regrets.  

   

You know how, when you've seen a good movie or read a good book, you want to tell your friends so they can share the enjoyment of something you liked? That's how it is with our church. I love it, and think maybe you might too. But it's always your choice whether or not to find out more about it. And if you do learn more, and decide it's not for you, that's okay too.  Our 11th Article of Faith states:  document.write(drawVerse(11,169168)); We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.  

   

If you want to know more, check out www.mormon.org  

well in my eyes your echoing nothing i never heard before thats all. I have had them come to my door thanks .And they weren't just 19-21 yr olds either.I know what i see and hear your not here to see are you?Answer me this why is it only mormons &Jehovahs are the only ones that are feeling the need to spread the word of what they learn.No other denomination does that.We don't .We spread the word to where it blongs among us in our church and at home with our family &friends so why should i have to stand and listen to what i believe not to be through tell me why i should even open my door.To me they are no better than a salesmen and you know how much we all want to see a  salesmen at our door.Not knocking salesmen they need to make a living at this, do you?Would you stand there and listen if i came to your door to spread our word of god?No of course not if you say yes well you are a chosen few because most of the mormons&jehovahs we encounter here are not one bit friendly.They do not wish to take part in our community what soever even nothing none religious .They have been asked to many functions because although we do not agree on the religious part of god well we are all still humans and not once do any attend they turn their noses up if we were a lower class in life, so no you won't change my mind on anything i have encountered by this religion or Jehovah religion  either.You might  may play games well its all games mind games as far as i'm concerned .And as far as this "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."That is so true let us worship or way you worship your way thatsall we need to do. that way we don't step on each other's toes.
 
October 12, 2005, 6:06 pm CDT

I am tired

I am tired of people associating polygamy with the mormons...it was a practice that was used in the earlier days of the church but now days if people choose to be a part of polygamy they are no longer apart of being a mormon (also known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints).   There is just to many misconceptions of Mormons and what they believe...just because a person makes a wrong choice they are not told they are going straight to hell...there is more to it...and if people want to make public appearances and tell what they think the mormon faith teaches such as that, they should talk to some one that knows what they are talking about. Why  can we always point out the mormons but when can we point out other faiths?? 
 
October 14, 2005, 2:35 pm CDT

08/02 Brainwashed Brides

Quote From: sjkjar

I am tired of people associating polygamy with the mormons...it was a practice that was used in the earlier days of the church but now days if people choose to be a part of polygamy they are no longer apart of being a mormon (also known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints).   There is just to many misconceptions of Mormons and what they believe...just because a person makes a wrong choice they are not told they are going straight to hell...there is more to it...and if people want to make public appearances and tell what they think the mormon faith teaches such as that, they should talk to some one that knows what they are talking about. Why  can we always point out the mormons but when can we point out other faiths?? 
Considering that the mormons were the ones who fled to Utah to practice polygamy, that you had a leader with plural wives until 1945, the comment is amusing to me.  The modern day FLDS and their offshoots (AUB and others) were founded and led by once devout mormons.  These folks studied their religion and decided to veer back towards the society Joseph Smith Jr, Brigham Young and John Taylor had created and tried to protect.  I recommend studying your religion and using texts besides the History of the Church sold at Deseret Book or the Institute textbook.  You will find the information varies from the sanitized Salt Lake approved version considerably.  And thanks to study and "thinking too much" (as much a crime for the mormons as for their polygamous brothers) I left your church and pray for the same outcome for many. 
 
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