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Topic : 08/04 Torn Between Two Lovers, Part 2

Number of Replies: 30
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 28, 2005, 03:40:49 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original air date: 04/29/05) Brad says he can't decide between his wife and his girlfriend, who's also married. Both women got pregnant with his child just weeks apart. Dr. Phil continues to unravel the lies and betrayal in an attempt to save two families. Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

Read previous messages in the archived discussion.


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August 6, 2005, 5:14 pm CDT

Torn Between MORE Than Two Lovers

 Okay, I've seen this show a couple of times. I'm no different than the guy. Cheat on your wife once or twice and you might as well make it 100 or 200 times. I have! I don't know what drove me to it, except to say, and Freud will love me for it, I had a terrible relationship with my overbearing, controlling and manipulative Mother. I enjoyed having sex with women, lot's of women. I felt like I was important, controlled, controlling, loved, wanted, needed, fullfilled, scared, accepted - and I'm sure they did too! Is there an answer? A pill? Therapy? Absolutely, positively - not quite!? Paxel took away many of the anxiety's that I feel and helped control my sexual drive - but can I really understand why I am the way I am? No... By the way, my wife knows - we're still together - and it's one day at a time, for us.
 
August 6, 2005, 5:56 pm CDT

Bikini photo???????????????

 WOW- This is the second time I've seen this show, and I missed the part about another woman sending Brad a picture of herself in a bikini!!!!!!!!!  So she would be 41 or 42 because there was one other also. My jaw dropped. I was hoping although I knew it didn't happen, that Michelle would ask Brad to move out right on the show to a motel and she would have his things sent to him. Then she would have the locks changed and file for divorce. Economically women can be at a disadvantage to leave especially if you have been home raising kids. I liked the chewing gum comparison. I've been married 20 years and yes I wonder what it might be like with some cute guy I come in contact with from time to time, but I just wonder and try to work on putting the "flavor" in my present relationship. The grass is greener on the side you water the most!!!!  Watching Dr. Phil would scare almost anyone out of an affair!!!!!:>) I really have met some cute instructors taking certain lessons but actually changed instructors on purpose because one was too cute!!!!! OK so I stuck with one for longer just cuz he was good looking but what's a girl to do???!!!!! Oh,well. I really want to hear an update on this one. 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, etc. I'm counting!!!!!!!  (not nice but could be true)
 
August 10, 2005, 8:30 pm CDT

cheating lovers

i know i'm not perfect and don't claim to be. i've been seeing a woman now going on 4 years, i'm 44 and she is 46 we talked a bit before we got serious with each other and one of our main agreements was at any time we are together if one or the other wants to start seeing someone else that we would tell the other there isn't enough time to play cheating games plus were both adults so i thought we should be able to talk about it is this the way to be in a dating partership or not
 
August 12, 2005, 12:34 pm CDT

A Pathetic Show

As a product of a dysfunctional marriage and learning from my parents what marriage SHOULD'T be about, I watched with much interest, hoping to see Dr. Phil shed some wisdom.  Did I miss something?  I heard no advice regarding sexually transmitted diseases, which should be a major issue considering the situation.  A clinic is the first place they should be referred to after the show.  I was further disappointed how little was talked about the featured couples children who are aware of their fathers extra-curricular marriage activities.  Speaking first handedly, children learn from their parent’s example.  Here's hoping the children don't end up being as messed up as all of the spineless adults involved.    

 
August 25, 2005, 9:26 am CDT

What are they thinking?!?!?!

Good Lord! First of all the wife of the cheating husband needs to be in therapy, so she can gain strength and confidence to leave his butt!! Her children would be much better off not living in a stressful household like that. Now the husband of the other woman needs to kick her butt to the curb as well!  Let's get real people there is no saving those two families. Both families will never be able to trust again, no matter how much therapy they get. Not saying the cheating man and woman can not be rehabilitated, but the ones that have been faithful will always worry. I think therapy is great and they all need to be in it. She still needs to leave that man to save herself!! The other woman also needs to focous on her children and move on with her life in hopes she can make amends with her family and self.     
 
September 1, 2005, 9:18 am CDT

I laughed my butt off !

    

 In the early 1980's I was in a very abusive relationship just like this.  I had to laugh that the now prego mistress is reluctant to have her baby around this guy she created it with !   

    

 MISTRESS HUBBY--Darlin' take your kids and run !!!     

I have no idea why this guy's wife stays- I stayed because I felt I did not have any support, or anywhere else to go-including my own mother's home- and then it came down to my life, or my boyfriends and if that meant living on the streets, then so be it.  I left, and 20 + years in hindsight, it was the best choice I made.  His wife will see it in time. Her life or his. Her choice.   

 
September 1, 2005, 9:27 am CDT

Agree and disagree

Quote From: jettav

marriages don't last because of lack of committment and communication as well as respect and honor. The desire to "work" at a marriage seems to be far from ones mind, it is just too easy to get a divorce which in my opinion is just a cop out for most. I think some people go into a marriage thinking it is gonna be one big honey moon but it just does not happen that way casue a honey moon we are away from everything, it is just the two happily married then all of a sudden we are in the real world...............Just not enough spunk in these people. Of course in the case represented here, this woman has every right to dump this guy and maybe she has by now. No one deserves to be treated as this woman has and I hope she has begun to stand up for herself and not let him use her any more. Maybe an update soon?

The desire to "work" at a marriage seems to be far from ones mind, it is just too easy to get a divorce which in my opinion is just a cop out for most.   

   

    I don't think that is true.   I don't see people getting a divorce because they are tried of working on the relationship.  Most divorces I see are because one spouse did something to cheat in the marriage-- such as another person, or use drugs-- whatever.  It's all about the self, and preferrence now, and not being a person of Principle. That is why marriages fail.   

 
September 1, 2005, 10:13 am CDT

08/04 Torn Between Two Lovers, Part 2

Quote From: rbuggy

 Okay, I've seen this show a couple of times. I'm no different than the guy. Cheat on your wife once or twice and you might as well make it 100 or 200 times. I have! I don't know what drove me to it, except to say, and Freud will love me for it, I had a terrible relationship with my overbearing, controlling and manipulative Mother. I enjoyed having sex with women, lot's of women. I felt like I was important, controlled, controlling, loved, wanted, needed, fullfilled, scared, accepted - and I'm sure they did too! Is there an answer? A pill? Therapy? Absolutely, positively - not quite!? Paxel took away many of the anxiety's that I feel and helped control my sexual drive - but can I really understand why I am the way I am? No... By the way, my wife knows - we're still together - and it's one day at a time, for us.

By the way, my wife knows - we're still together - and it's one day at a time, for us.  

   

   

 And may God not help you, but her-- when she finally finds what she's looking for.  Women are territorial, and it's just a matter of time, before you get what's coming.  You'll see. She's going to be sweating it out with another man, and I hope you find them together too.  It's coming !  

   

Karma visits us all- Only blameless lives have nothing to fear ".   

 
September 1, 2005, 10:15 am CDT

It's tracking you now..

Quote From: rbuggy

 Okay, I've seen this show a couple of times. I'm no different than the guy. Cheat on your wife once or twice and you might as well make it 100 or 200 times. I have! I don't know what drove me to it, except to say, and Freud will love me for it, I had a terrible relationship with my overbearing, controlling and manipulative Mother. I enjoyed having sex with women, lot's of women. I felt like I was important, controlled, controlling, loved, wanted, needed, fullfilled, scared, accepted - and I'm sure they did too! Is there an answer? A pill? Therapy? Absolutely, positively - not quite!? Paxel took away many of the anxiety's that I feel and helped control my sexual drive - but can I really understand why I am the way I am? No... By the way, my wife knows - we're still together - and it's one day at a time, for us.

  

  

 Karma Visits us all...Only Blameless lives have nothing to fear.  I hope you see it first hand too. 

Her sweating it out with a real MAN.  

 
September 1, 2005, 10:20 am CDT

Well Said

Quote From: realgood2u

  

Thank you for saying what I think better than I ever could. 

  

Many people must take their vows thinking "Gee, if I am not happy in six months, we can divorce".  

I am here to tell you YOU WILL NOT ALWAYS BE HAPPY. 

  

And IF you have no intention of remaining faithful and committed, why marry at all?  I just don't get it.  AND if the relationship is failing at least dignify it's existance by giving your spouse a divorce and not humiliating them. 

  

I believe the "living together' phenomena does contribute to the divorce rate.  That little piece of paper DOES make a difference, legally and socially if nothing else.  I also KNOW that the expectations of a spouse are significantly different from those of a lover of either gender. 

I also KNOW that the expectations of a spouse are significantly different from those of a lover of either gender.  

  

  and they SHOULD BE.  

 
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