Message Boards

Topic : 01/07 Omaha Mall Shooting: A Mother’s Guilt

Number of Replies: 87
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Tuesday, December 30, 2008, 05:12:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
On December 5, 2007, Robert Hawkins walked into the Von Maur Mall in Omaha, Nebraska carrying an AK-47 rifle and 30 rounds of ammunition. The troubled 19-year-old gunned down eight people and wounded two others before taking his own life in what's been called the deadliest mall shooting in U.S. history. Robert’s mother, Molly, says she can't get over the guilt. Could this massacre have been averted? Did the grieving mom miss warning signs that would have foretold her son’s shooting spree? Dr. Phil asks the tough questions and takes a brutally candid look into this tragedy. Then, he speaks with Debora, a woman who says she took Robert in after he fell out with his parents. Find out what Debora says she witnessed just days before the teen’s murderous rampage. And, Jeff, a survivor of the Omaha mall shooting, faces off with Molly for the first time on Dr. Phil's stage. Plus, don’t miss the warning signs that your child is headed down a dangerous path. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 8, 2009, 8:32 am CST

Guns not the problem

Quote From: gi_toughgirl

Too many people blame the world's problems on guns.  It isn't the guns that are killing people, it's people killing people.  If you ban guns, people will find another way to hurt people.  What would be next, banning knives? Baseball bats? Ropes? Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to the families of the people that were killed and injured but I do not think that by taking guns away from those of us that are responsible with them will be the answer.
I find it interesting that the surviving victim of this disturbed boys action came to the conclusion that it could have been prevented if we just banned assault weapons.  I agree with the above comment, banning guns is not the answer. 

Banning stupid people from having kids may help some.  Teaching people how to store guns properly will help some.  Teaching parents and others how to recognize and deal with troubled teens will also help some. 

So many people jump on the opportunity to "Ban Guns".  This has been proven not to work.  It didn't work in the District of Columbia, England, Canada or Australia.  What's the matter with thes gun banners anyway, too difficult to deal with the real problem?
 
January 8, 2009, 9:24 am CST

Not all parents and Dr's are equal

HopeFaithLove...I can SO relate!!  I too had a step son that was all that you described and more.  When my husband and I were first married he was only six years old.  He always had ADHD so he was hyper but he was only a child and he had all the potential that all children have.  He was a challenge and a joy all wrapped into one.  Something happened...we have yet to figure it out but something happened to him.  From one visit to the next he went from a hyper, happy, joyful child to a VERY dark, depressed self destructive one.  He came to live with us when it was clear that his mother couldn't handle him.  His father and I quickly learned that we were in over our heads and started down the scariest time of our lives.  We took him to Doctor after Doctor, Psycologists, Psychiatrist, Psychiatric Hospitals, Councelors and at one point he had a Probation Officer.  I can tell you this...NONE involved were Dr. Phil.  I can't describe the terror because of course I was the "wicked step-mom" and was where a lot of his venom was directed.  I slept with a chair wedged under our bedroom door...just in case.  Unless you've lived it you can NOT imagine.  One day he told me that I was the two things that he hated most.  A "mom" and a "step parent"...I was devistated.  I love him so much and felt that if I could love him enough and be a loving, nurturing force in his life I could heal his emotional wounds...what ever they were.  One can not describe how much terror and helplessness is involved when you DO see the danger and you ARE involved and ARE trying to connect with any professional that will help and they fail you at every turn. 

 

I feel for the parents and adults involved.  What a sorry mix they are!  They maybe able to defend and excuse they're behavior on TV but in the still of the night when you lay your head down...you know!  You know that you've fail a CHILD.  How sad! 

 

There is a somewhat happy ending to our story.  My step son is now 19, on his own and for all intents and purposes a functioning member of society.  At this point, his father and I have a strained relationship with him but at least his is alive and gives us hope that some day old wounds will heal and he will be able to resolve his source of pain. 

 
January 8, 2009, 9:28 am CST

01/07 Omaha Mall Shooting: A Mother’s Guilt

Quote From: ranai123

I love to watch the Dr. Phil show. And most of the time I totally agree with what he has to say. But today after watching this show about the Omaha shooter I felt I had to write. I think that everyone needs to back off and leave this  boy's mother alone. How was she to know her son was going to do what he did? Many parents smoke pot with their kids. That doesn't mean the kid goes out and kills people. And a lot of people who do harder drugs than that don't either.  Many kids and people have mental problems. That doesn't mean they will shoot up a mall or a school. So many signs can describe a whole lot of teens today. The simple fact is we do not know they will do this type of thing unless they tell us they will. I could have been described by some as a quiet, troubled teen. In reality I was just very shy and had a very low self esteem. I started smoking pot when I was 15 and continued to do so for about 10 years. I have suffered from depression and have successully overcome it. All of these are signs and if taken the wrong way could label me as a possible mall shooter, something I am very far from ever being. I also have guns in my house now. They are shot guns used for hunting and are kept away from my children. I have also taught my sons not to touch any gun without  adult supervision. But, as with all things, WE CAN ONLY TEACH OUR CHILDREN. WE CANNOT ACT FOR THEM! We, as a society, seem to have forgotten that kids, no matter what their age, will do as they please if they choose to. We are just blessed if they respect us and listen. Bad kids can come from every level of society and the same for good kids. A child whose parents are drunks or druggies could very likely turn out to be a Harvard graduate. And a child whose parents have given him every opportunity in life could choose to be a serial rapist or murderer. NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT OR WHERE THEIR CHILD WILL END UP AS THEY GET OLDER. WE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT WHAT WE HAVE TAUGHT THEM WILL STAY WITH THEM. And if a child is abused or neglected, that does not mean they will end up an abuser or a murderer. Statistics may say they are usually the ones who do. But those are just statistics not the rule. I was abused as a child. Not as bad as some, but definately abused physically and emotionally by my step mother. And my father just ignored it hoping it would just go away. Guess what. I am not a crazy person now. I chose not to be like my step mother. I am just an average housewife with 2 children. We have a great family and even though we live paycheck to paycheck, we are all happy with the little that we do have. Yes even my 2 boys are happy and they do not have all of the expensive toys like a PS3 or a big pool in the back yard next to the hot tub. They have learned to appreciate what they have and what they get. Even if we were filthy rich, they would not be spoiled rotten.  That is not how my husand and I want our child to be.

 

My point is this. Even though this boy had so many signs to indicate he would do what he did, how could his mother, or anyone else for that matter, possibly know what he was planning? Maybe if someone had found plans written on paper, or if he had actually come out and said "I am going to the mall to kill people" OK then we can start blaming people. But NO ONE IS TO BLAME EXCEPT THIS BOY. He made his choice. I think everyone just needs to blame someone and the parents are always the easiest targets. I am not trying to say that I think this mother is perfect. I do not know one mother who is perfect. She has made her mistakes. And I am sure that she has been punishing herself for the last year over this. She does not need any more from anyone else. I wonder if each of us was put in her position, would we see all of these warning signs? And even if we did, what could we do about it? Counseling is about all that could be done for this boy. Even that is not a solution. And we cannot arrest him for wanting to kill people. So he would still be walking free to do as he pleased even if all the warning signs were recognized and he was treated for mental illness.  This boy did what he did because he chose to. Not because his mother was not in his life. Not because she smoked pot with him. (As an ex pot smoker, that drug does not make a person want to kill someone, try to fly off of the Empire State Building, or anything else crazy and insane. It makes you want to laugh, sleep, and eat. That's it. ) Not because of anything she did or didn't do. Unless she forced the gun into this boy's hand and made him shoot up this mall, she should not be blamed. Hindsight is 20/20. We all have things we would change about our past  if only we had known then what we know now. Before you judge this woman, take a good look at yourself. I can guarantee we have all done things we regret and wish we could change. Unfortunately, if it wasn't for cases like this, we would not know any warning signs to look for. And now that we do know, it will be very hard for anyone not to overreact or underreact. Because just because a child has some, or even all of these warning signs does not mean he/she will do what this boy did. I hope you will all stop blaming this mother, and start putting the blame where it should be. On this boy!

This boy choose to kill that day this is true, But their are many hands in who and what this child became helping in that choice that day. Blaming this mother is easy to do, not for the days or hours before the shooting but the years years before. She and her ex produced this child moled this child abused and abanded this child ignored and set lose this child. Warning sign going back to when he was 4 years old yet they continued their arm chair parenting and did nothing.
 
January 8, 2009, 10:03 am CST

01/07 Omaha Mall Shooting: A Mother’s Guilt

Quote From: cndrlla

Well, you are certainly entitled to your own opinion.

 

However your thinking is really off-kilter when you say that smoking pot with your kid is "a way to bond".  I'm guessing you are very young and not a parent....and, if you are a parent, God help your kids!

 

The TRUE way to bond with your children is to be a strong, sober, consistent, stable, reliable, GROWN UP whom your child can respect, who leads by example, and who loves their child enough to say a firm NO when they are acting stupid! Like I said earlier: when you are a parent, YOU are all that stands between your child and disaster until their brains are mature enough to make their own decisions.

 

Also, something you obviously don't know, or refuse to acknowledge, is the fact that marijuana is the gateway to harder drugs.  So, when you say that this mother smoking pot with her kid "had only a positive influence",  it tells me that you didn't pay attention to the end result.

 

I wonder if there would have been a different outcome, and 8 lives wouldn't have been needlessly destroyed in that mall if one or both parents had had a brain in their own heads and the courage to guide their son instead of running away from their responsibilities, trying to be his buddy and smoking dope with him!

I have to say that I am so tired of people blaming pot for bad things that happen. I smoked it for 10 years, starting at age 15. I was an honor student in high school and never got into any trouble. I even smoked it with my own mother a couple of times. Does that mean she was a bad mother? No. She was and still is a great mother. She never had to spank me once because she has a look that scared me so much I never wanted to make her mad. She layed down the law and when she said jump we said how high. Marijuana has become another thing to blame for bad people doing bad things. I believe that the harder drugs, crack, heroin, etc will cause the user to do bad things because they really mess up the chemicals in the users brain. But pot is not one of those drugs. And as far as it being a "gateway drug". I never once tried any other drug. If you have never tried smoking pot, all it does is make you laugh, sleep, and eat. That's it. So yes this boy smoked pot. But that pot did not make him murder anyone. He chose to do that himself. Here's a question. What if he drank a lot of Pepsi or coffee? Could we then assume caffeine makes a person want to kill someone? It is a drug in fact.  Or what if he smoked cigarettes? Do they make a person want to kill someone? I use these as examples because pot is basically on the same level as caffeine and nicotine. The only real difference is  it is not legal yet.  I am not a young kid who does not have children. I am 30 with 2 boys. And in my 30 years of life almost everyone I have ever known has smoked pot at one time or another. I am talking about people from every walk of life from the CEO of a company down to people who were one paycheck away from being homeless. NOT ONE OF THEM EVER KILLED ANYONE OR TRIED TO KILL ANYONE. I think smoking pot should not be blamed for this boy killing others and himself. Smoking pot is just another thing he did like riding his bike, or dating a girl. He killed those people because he chose to do so. And nothing anyone did could have stopped him. We cannot put someone in jail for thinking about killing someone or we would all be in jail at some point in our lives. It is like the stalker who cannot be sent to jail in some states until he actually does something illegal or harmful to the person he is stalking. That is not fair but it does protect those who are falsely accused. We can all blame this or that for this boys actions. And it is easy to put the blame on the parents because they are still alive and yes they did make mistakes. But who among us has not made some serious mistakes? The very best parents can still raise a child who ends up a bank robber, rapist, or murderer. Then who do we blame? I do not agree with everything this boy's parents did or didn't do. But no one and nothing is to blame except this boy. He made his own decisions. He was an adult who could do as he pleased and nothing anyone did or said would stop him from his actions if he really wanted to kill these people and himself.
 
January 8, 2009, 10:52 am CST

The locals of the shooting

I watched the news at last night after the People's Choice Awards and was greatly disappointed with the interview with the policeman second on the scene, Mat Manhart, the nurse Debra and a victim from the Westroads shooting.  I feel sad about the tragedy but mad at the signs that Robert Hawkins was showing that he needed help.  I was furious when Officer Manhart made statements that Dr. Phil was using this incident as a personal gain or attention to Robert.  The lawmakers ignorance to the fact that things like this can happen if they do not get the help they need. I have lived in Omaha area and in California.  I was in California when it happened and the first thought was that he was not getting the help he needed for his mental health.  This is is a typical case of mental health system failing him.  For 15 years I have been told "He is just caught in the system" concerning my son.  I have worked with a county in California that had problems getting help for clients because of not enough help.  I also have personal experience and fear for my son because he is not getting the help he needs.  The police have to wait until someone is killed or hurt before they will help.  The mental health system stinks all over because of funding.  I just happen to be a parent of a bipolar child that had ADHD at 4 years old.  When he turned 18 I couldn't make him take his medications any longer.  He was in a boys home for 3 years but kicked out because of liability for running away and a boys ranch/locked facility for 3 years.  I no longer have any say of what he does and fear he will be another statistic like Robert Hawkins.  I say wrote the local station but I doubt they care. Robert was crying for help and his mother probably feels as I do, powerless.  At least I am smart enough to know if someone has a gun of any kind to be worried, especially if they are depressed and leave the home.  I am in the middle of having to evict my son out of my apartment that his name isn't on.  My heat is breaking every day because I have to do it.  He is self medicating with drugs and alcohol, mood swings with violent behavior and this is the only thing I can do.  Just imagine how a bipolar person off their meds and using drugs and alcohol will react when they get an eviction from his mother.  He won't be smiling at me or his 21 year old sister.  I can't call the police because they are useless and even had the nerve to blame my parenting skills for it.  His biological father is bipolar and is exactly the same and lives with his mother.  He has bullied me for years like a spouse.  I am out of energy for it.  So, yay Dr. Phil for trying to get through to the public and Boo the media who are blaming it on guns, parenting or whatever.  Lawmakers need to get the message and I have tried to do what I can by learning about mental health issues and what I can do to improve them.  If only the lawmakers could get off their seats and do something to improve the Mental Health system.  Unless you are a parent with a teen or adult in the family who has these issues, you never really know what you are up against.  Believe me, I have been told to take my son off his meds because they feel I have been drugging him for years because I like to.  Yup as soon as he came out of my womb I had this evil plan to drug my kid. 
 
January 8, 2009, 7:51 pm CST

He was not a child

Has everyone forgotten that this was not a 12, 14, or even 16 year old boy? He was a 19 year old young MAN who was fully capable of making his own decisions. Granted, he was messed up and had a rough childhood. But he was old enough to know better. No matter what he actually went through as a child, at the time of the shooting he was a MAN. Both my husband and I had bad childhoods but we chose to make good lives for ourselves and our children. Neither of us chose to turn to anger to solve our problems. And yes we could have. I keep reading these statements on the message board and so many people call this MAN a child. He was not a child who snuck into his father's closet to play with the gun. He was a grown MAN who stole his father's gun to commit a horrible crime. Were there warning signs? Yes, He pretty much screamed them. But the way our justice system is set up in this country, a person cannot go to jail for thinking of killing someone. And yes, his parents should have sent him to counselling when he was still under age or even a mental hospital if the situation called for it. They should have been better parents. Every parent has made mistakes they are not proud of. Every one of our parents made mistakes they are not proud of whether we know about those mistakes or not. Making mistakes is not a new thing. Even being a crappy parent is not a new thing. But a mall shooter can come from any kind of parent, good, bad,  horrible, or great. This MAN did a horrible thing. Not because he had bad parents anymore than  because the sky was  blue that day. This MAN was messed up. He did this to himself, the people in the mall that day, and the families of the victims. Not his parents. He was an ADULT capable of seeking help for himself if he had this much built up rage or whatever emotions fueled this. I had a whole lot of built up anger towards my stepmother for her abusive ways. As an adult I did not go shoot and kill her. I sought counselling for my emotions. Why didn't this MAN do that?
 
January 8, 2009, 7:59 pm CST

thank you pamelacarr

Quote From: pamelacarr

HopeFaithLove...I can SO relate!!  I too had a step son that was all that you described and more.  When my husband and I were first married he was only six years old.  He always had ADHD so he was hyper but he was only a child and he had all the potential that all children have.  He was a challenge and a joy all wrapped into one.  Something happened...we have yet to figure it out but something happened to him.  From one visit to the next he went from a hyper, happy, joyful child to a VERY dark, depressed self destructive one.  He came to live with us when it was clear that his mother couldn't handle him.  His father and I quickly learned that we were in over our heads and started down the scariest time of our lives.  We took him to Doctor after Doctor, Psycologists, Psychiatrist, Psychiatric Hospitals, Councelors and at one point he had a Probation Officer.  I can tell you this...NONE involved were Dr. Phil.  I can't describe the terror because of course I was the "wicked step-mom" and was where a lot of his venom was directed.  I slept with a chair wedged under our bedroom door...just in case.  Unless you've lived it you can NOT imagine.  One day he told me that I was the two things that he hated most.  A "mom" and a "step parent"...I was devistated.  I love him so much and felt that if I could love him enough and be a loving, nurturing force in his life I could heal his emotional wounds...what ever they were.  One can not describe how much terror and helplessness is involved when you DO see the danger and you ARE involved and ARE trying to connect with any professional that will help and they fail you at every turn. 

 

I feel for the parents and adults involved.  What a sorry mix they are!  They maybe able to defend and excuse they're behavior on TV but in the still of the night when you lay your head down...you know!  You know that you've fail a CHILD.  How sad! 

 

There is a somewhat happy ending to our story.  My step son is now 19, on his own and for all intents and purposes a functioning member of society.  At this point, his father and I have a strained relationship with him but at least his is alive and gives us hope that some day old wounds will heal and he will be able to resolve his source of pain. 

Thank you for your message.  I have had him since he was 3yrs old he is now16.  he has been hyper and unruly ever since.  My husband refused to put him on medicine because his mother and other family members did not agree with the doctor that he needed medicine they ALL said I am the problem the "wicked-step-mom".  I have changed alot in the last year since my husband had his affair and all the accusations that were made against me by my husband, his family, and his son.  My husbands mother has filled this child's head with so much BS.  She has more or less brainwashed this child.  Right now, i am not ready for my step-son and I to have a relationship like what we did before, he has made to many accusations that are lies, too many threats against I and my son and has told lies about my parents.  I too, have slept with my bedroom door locked and my son in my bed with me to protect him.  My step-son has tormented my son so bad that he is afraid of the dark to be in a room by himself, my son is 11yrs old.  And he has had to go thru this all his life, well no more.  My first priority is my son and that is the way it will be.  I am exhausted with my step-son, I am tired of trying to get the help he needs and he thinks its a joke.  he ripped his algebra book and said "oh well more money out of my dads pocket"  no the money is not coming out of his dads pocket he is paying for the book himself.  it is about time this child is help responsible for his actions and held reliable for them.  I have finished nursing and received my license so therefore i can take care of myself and my son just fine.  The rules will be my way or they can hit the highway.  This child has been kicked out of public school, private school, and now he is being kicked out of this group home because of his behavior.  So i know how living is going to be in this house with him back here living, he comes home the 9th of January.  But he will have no privileges, he has no TV, no Nintendo ds, nothing in his room.  He will earn all this back by his cooperation and behaving.  He has had police reports about him touching a girl inappropriately but nothing was ever done.  he has been accused of this more than once.  he has stole money from me to buy yugioh cards and Pokemon cards.  this kid is obsessed with yugioh and Pokemon.  he thinks school is stupid, doesn't do his homework fails his classes but that is all my fault.  EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!!!!  He is 16 and still pees the bed because he doesn't want to get up during the night and go to the bathroom so therefore he wears depends to bed.  does not brush his teeth, he will go a wk without taking a shower if he is not made to take one.  he has smeared feces all over the bathroom, his bedroom and even all over the walls at the school.  My husband had to finally put him on medicine when the school got involved he had no choose.  

It feels good to be able to talk about this i am so stressed and depressed that i don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings.  I am thankful for my son he keeps me going everyday. 

 
January 8, 2009, 9:11 pm CST

HopeFaithLove

Quote From: hopefaithlove

Thank you for your message.  I have had him since he was 3yrs old he is now16.  he has been hyper and unruly ever since.  My husband refused to put him on medicine because his mother and other family members did not agree with the doctor that he needed medicine they ALL said I am the problem the "wicked-step-mom".  I have changed alot in the last year since my husband had his affair and all the accusations that were made against me by my husband, his family, and his son.  My husbands mother has filled this child's head with so much BS.  She has more or less brainwashed this child.  Right now, i am not ready for my step-son and I to have a relationship like what we did before, he has made to many accusations that are lies, too many threats against I and my son and has told lies about my parents.  I too, have slept with my bedroom door locked and my son in my bed with me to protect him.  My step-son has tormented my son so bad that he is afraid of the dark to be in a room by himself, my son is 11yrs old.  And he has had to go thru this all his life, well no more.  My first priority is my son and that is the way it will be.  I am exhausted with my step-son, I am tired of trying to get the help he needs and he thinks its a joke.  he ripped his algebra book and said "oh well more money out of my dads pocket"  no the money is not coming out of his dads pocket he is paying for the book himself.  it is about time this child is help responsible for his actions and held reliable for them.  I have finished nursing and received my license so therefore i can take care of myself and my son just fine.  The rules will be my way or they can hit the highway.  This child has been kicked out of public school, private school, and now he is being kicked out of this group home because of his behavior.  So i know how living is going to be in this house with him back here living, he comes home the 9th of January.  But he will have no privileges, he has no TV, no Nintendo ds, nothing in his room.  He will earn all this back by his cooperation and behaving.  He has had police reports about him touching a girl inappropriately but nothing was ever done.  he has been accused of this more than once.  he has stole money from me to buy yugioh cards and Pokemon cards.  this kid is obsessed with yugioh and Pokemon.  he thinks school is stupid, doesn't do his homework fails his classes but that is all my fault.  EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!!!!  He is 16 and still pees the bed because he doesn't want to get up during the night and go to the bathroom so therefore he wears depends to bed.  does not brush his teeth, he will go a wk without taking a shower if he is not made to take one.  he has smeared feces all over the bathroom, his bedroom and even all over the walls at the school.  My husband had to finally put him on medicine when the school got involved he had no choose.  

It feels good to be able to talk about this i am so stressed and depressed that i don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings.  I am thankful for my son he keeps me going everyday. 

I feel your pain!  I'm so sorry that you're going through this!  Take care of you! and your son!!  Keep your head and chin up...know that you're doing the BEST that you can.  I'm here for you if you need a sympathetic ear and a should to lean on.

 

Pam

 
January 8, 2009, 9:12 pm CST

Im speechless

I watched this show...in disgust and disbelief.  I have a 16 (almost 17) year old son who is Bi polar with psychotic tendencies. I never use to believe mental illness was real till i saw it first hand.  I knew Ty had problems back in 2nd grade... I tried everything I could to get him help.  When a 2nd grader is self harming and talking about suicide~ you stand by them, try everything in your power to help them. No one could give the same explanation for Tyler's behavior. It was either he was depressed or he had ADHD.  No one could agree. Tyler's dad and step mom made accusations about me and caused me so much grief, but as  mother you know what the truth is~ you fight for your children.  I had custody of my son, and he had weekend visitation with his father.  They blamed me for all of Tyler's problems. But as time went on, his father walked away and hasn't seen Tyler since he was 8.  You don't give up and walk away.  I never did.  I have fought to get my son help.  When Tyler was 13 my father passed away.  He was the only father Tyler truly knew.  He was a grandpas boy to the core, and between puberty and his death Tyler's downward spiral began.  He was cutting, and acting out.  He drew the most gruesome violent pictures, and poems that frightened you to read them. Finally~ I had him EPC'd. They ruled then that Tyler was Bi Polar with psychotic tendencies. I didn't know what else to do.Tyler has been in group homes and treatment facilities since February of 2006. He went from one to another~ stating he needed a higher level of care, but nobody wanted to fund it. He would do good finally after a few months of pushing every limit he could... and they would say he was ready to come home.  I wasn't ready, and I didn't think he was either, but we tried again.  In a 2 month period Tyler had caused so much grief it was insane.  He was expelled from school for writing a poem about killing a teacher and eating her. He was removed from my home for drawing pictures of myself and his sisters dead on the ground.  He was placed with my brother till he threatened my 7 year old nephew . He was kicked out of Vacation Bible school and Church for harassing a girl he was *friends* with.  So they moved him to a treatment center in Missouri.  Ironically I've been told its the same treatment center Robert went to.  For 6 months Tyler had all kinds of problems we were working on.  He went from hurting himself to lashing out at others. Family therapy was going good, but Tyler was still self harming and having so many issues. He was doing okay for 4 weeks, and once again Magellan says he's ready to go home. Magellan is the insurance part of Medicaid.  I have had quite a few therapists tell me that Tyler can not live out of a secure structured setting, and he is like a time bomb waiting to explode. They tell me Tyler has no impulse control, and that he doesn't understand cause and effect. No one wanted to pay for Tyler's treatment~ they all want me to take him back home.  But the thing Tyler needed the most was to remain at the treatment center, he was finally on a path to doing better. Instead they weren't going to fund any kind of placement.  They stated he should return home. When Tyler lived with me he set my garage on fire, he tried on a couple occasions to try and burn my house down while the girls and I were in it~ and he was at school.  I found numerous weapons in my ceiling tiles, door jams, hidden anywhere throughout my house.  When he was home the last time he would choke and try to smother his little sister~ who still loves him, but like me is afraid of him. Well.... they place him in a group home in Omaha first since I refused to take him home.  I have to protect my little girls. It was a dive.  The ceiling leaked on his bed. He slept on a mattress on the floor.  There were prostitutes on the corner, and a staff member would smoke pot with some of the boys.  State went in and shut them down, so once again Tyler was moved.  Now hes at a group home in a small town, and all his problems have been getting worse.  He is getting more and more violent, and doing some strange things (sleeping under his mattress etc..) Social Service has the goal for Tyler of independent living... and I think they are absolutely crazy. He is on so many medications, and no one thinks hes getting the help he needs.  The scarier part is no one is helping.  My caseworkers hands seem to be tied by funding. The judge actually told me that Tyler seemed to just have a few *quirky* things about him. His therapist believes hes in the wrong placement, but what can you do without funding???  I then find out staff has forgotten on 5 occasions in the past 6 weeks to give him his Bi Polar medication.  The remember all of his other meads, just forget the most important one. I spent Christmas with my son, and it was nice.  Then things changed for the worse.  There is a boy who is in Ty's group home that he doesn't get along with.  For some reason they were placed together last weekend doing chores.  An argument began, and so to my understanding a supervisor tried to intervene... next thing they new Tyler swung his broom in a Axe chopping motion at the back of the boys head, and staff tried to jump between.  The broom hit the staff's hand instead.  Now his hand is broken.  So... once again they are looking for a new placement for my son.  I have fought and fought for my son, but i don't know what else to do.  Hes almost 17. He's a sweet boy, who can be gentle and loving.  He is so super smart, and funny~ but he has a very dark side to him. The hardest part for me is watching stories like the Omaha Mall and Virgina Tech knowing that could be my son.  No one seems to want to help him.  Its like all the warning signs a red flags are screaming at everyone, and nothing is done.  He broke a mans hand with a broom because he heard voices in his head taunting him.  What more is it going to take??  I don't want to be a mother apologizing to a family because my son destroyed their lives.  Molly should be ashamed of herself... that's her son~ You never give up on your children!
 
January 8, 2009, 9:26 pm CST

Wake Up America

Quote From: executethem

Banning AK 47 type assault weapons or any gun won't stop people from shooting each other.  Change the LAWS.  I don't want my rights of owning a gun infringed upon.  This may be blunt but....execute people that use a weapon in the commission of a crime.  They might think twice before acting.  A complete ban on guns would only put guns in the hands of criminals.  For the people that live in the City, I don't expect you to understand.  I'm a Firefighter and I have seen numerous people shot, stabbed and beat to death but the instrument didn't commit the act..the person did.  I have a concealed weapons permit and carry a gun 99% of the time.  I would of shot back at the attacker in Omaha.  Gun control is the ability to stay on target so don't penalize the rest of us!!!!       

About 10 days ago, a man in the Phoenix, AZ area beat two kids with a bat. Unfortunately, they both died within  a week. So do we ban baseball bats? This man had a history of mental health problems. A month ago, a man attacked a police officer with his car. Do we ban automobiles? This man had been arrested several times for public fights. Our society has lost it's direction. We are laying blame in all the wrong places. We have been told that we need to be politically correct, but there is no such thing!!! However, there is parental responsibility, does anybody remember that? There is personal responsibility, which is guarding other peoples safety by locking up weapons so they can't be stolen, or used incorrectly. And there is public responsibility, which means Phil, you should be using the show to bring real news and real problem solving to the public.

 

Quick question, what would happen if we were attacked on our own soil? It's happened, remember 9-11. And if it happens again, can we rely on our military. For all of you reading this, if that would happen, I certainly would want to be able to defend myself, my family and friends, and any other American citizens.

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last