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Topic : 01/15 Rage Caught on Tape

Number of Replies: 46
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Created on : Friday, January 09, 2009, 02:31:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
As difficult financial times put additional strain on familial relationships, rage-filled outbursts are on the rise. Dr. Phil explores a wide spectrum of anger, from irrational fits to yelling at your kids like a broken record. His first guest, Mimi, says her husband, Ed, loses his temper while trying to lay down the law with their 13-year-old son, and she's tired of being the referee. Ed says he's frustrated with the teen's attitude. Dr. Phil cameras capture the fighting, which has even became physical. Are these parents expecting too much out of the boy, or is he to blame for the confrontations? Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board, sits down with the teen. You'll be surprised to learn what he discovers. Find out what Dr. Phil suggests these parents do to keep the peace in the family. Then, meet Isabella. She says her rage grows worse with every year, and anyone is subject to her outrageous outbursts, including her own mother. You won't believe the shocking footage caught by in-home cameras, often in front of her 5-year-old son. Find out the list of items that causes Isabella to unleash her anger, and why she thinks she behaves in this manner. Is she ready to get real and end the tirades? Watch these guests and learn how to manage the frustrations in your life. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 16, 2009, 1:19 pm CST

Isabella

I used to live next door to a girl like Isabella.  She was quick to anger and lashed out at everybody, including her kids, and especially her daughter.  It was very sad.  Because she was incapable of controlling her fits of pique, her life spiralled downward within a very short time.  She lost her child in family court, and now has NO CONTACT.  She was evicted from her apartment.  She lost her job, her husband, everything.  I understand that Isabella had had a hysterectomy, but she needs to avail herself to some form of treatment so that she can get a handle on her rage.  I come from a family of ragers, and I can tell you, Isabella, that you are doing untold harm to your son.  Everyone is saying that he will grow up to be a rager, too, but he may go the other way,  like I did, and become fearful, anxious, and depressed.  He may overeat, drink too much, or take drugs, not do well in school, and need years of psychotherapy.  Believe me, 'Bella, he is afraid when he sees you raging.  He's afraid that he will be your next target.  I was actually diagnosed with PTSD because of my chaotic, raging family!  Isabella, get help.  If you think you're OK and don't need it, think of your kid.  He's the one who's gonna pay, one way or the other.  Good Luck.
 
January 16, 2009, 3:38 pm CST

I have lived with this too

I can understand the frustration that the family of this young woman feels.  I have a daughter that is just like this woman.  When things do not go her way she will lash out at the ones that love her the most.  I, her mother, am usually the one that bears the brunt of all her outbursts.  She has gotten better over the last little while but the least little thing will set her off and she is only 14.   I sometimes think maybe I haven't done a good enough job in being her mom but her older brother is nothing like this.  Sometimes I ask myself if I should contact Dr. Phil because it can get really crazy around here when she is in one of her moods.  It is not easy to live with a person who has anger issues.

 
January 16, 2009, 4:16 pm CST

01/15 Rage Caught on Tape

Quote From: rosewood001

Isabella seemed to be inches away from bursting into tears.  She has such deep pain.  That is why I feel she is lashing out.  She has been pushed to the limit.  her husband needs to stand up to her, give her a hug and get her help.  I feel so bad for her.

  Maybe you should ask your self if you are a racist ?
 
January 16, 2009, 8:31 pm CST

Ed and Jacob

Doctor Phil and everyone else has missed the mark when it comes to Ed and Jacob.  Stepfathers as a general rule can't stand their wife's kids.  Every time that the stepfather lays his eyes on that child he is reminded that another man has slept with his wife.  That drives men CRAZY!  Alot of men hate themselves for hating their stepkids, because they can't figure out why they hate the child.

Stepfathers make their stepkids do impossible tasks and have to live up to standards that they could never  up hold themselves.  Stepfathers work hard at convinceing their wives that all of the problems in the household are because of "her" child or "children".  Routinely step fathers wont even let their stepkid keep a photo of their real father in their room.  The child learns quickly to never even to mention their real father in the household. 

If someone would do the research I would bet the bank that they would find that the leading cause of death and injury to children under the age of 10 would be stepfathers!  No one would ever do a real study on step fathers though, because of what they would find.  They would find that in a majority of cases divorce is a form of CHILD ABUSE! 

I have been married to my wife for 21 years, and we have 3 daughters, 19, 18, and 15.  Among their peer group they are the only kids with both parents, and is it ever noticeable.  Alot of the times the teen girls will try flirting with me to get what they want.  They have learned from their mothers that is how you deal with adult men.  As for the boys I find their behavior much more heartbreaking.  Most of the young men that my girls hang out with are terrified of adult men in social settings.  They have no idea on how to act.  They haven't been taught how to be men.  They have done little or nothing of the things boys did a generation ago.  No man has taken them fishing, camping or just spent time with them.

The one common denominator that these children of divorce have learned is that  they take a back seat to the needs, wants and desires of their mothers and fathers. I laugh every time I hear Doctor Phil tell parents to make sure the children understand that this divorce isn't their fault.  That sometimes people have to go their separate ways and it has nothing to do with the love they have for the kids.  { I am obviously paraphraseing }  HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT!! All that a child sees is that the two people that they love more tham life itself no longer love each other so they have to be next!  Then you bring in a replacement for the father and it justifies what the child is thinking- THEY CAN BE REPLACED!!  And who replaces Dad?  A man that every time he looks at the kid all he can see is that this child is the product of his wife having sex with another man!  So all to often he becomes abusive, critical to the extreme, and domineering.

I know I slant this more toward men than women but I have found that stepmothers although are often just as bad when they have children of their own, the stepmothers without children allow their maternal instincts to take over.

Doctor Phil, I know that you can never acknowledge what I am saying as fact because you would allienate over 50% of your audiance, but when a stepfather like Ed says that he loves his stepson, I truely hope that you can see through it. Ed can't help himself, because his stepson is the end product of his wife loving another man.

Jacob knows the deal, he is absolutely correct when he says that he would like Ed to treat him like a son.  I can promise you Ed WILL NEVER EVER EVER TREAT HIS OWN CHILDREN THAT WAY!!

Mimi is a fool is she believes that Ed loves Jacob.  ED CAN'T LOVE JACOB!! And Ed doesn't even know why!  Ed isn't a bad guy, he is just trying to over come a 1,000,000 years of evolution!

Doctor Phil used to tell step parents that they should never ever disipline stepkids! what happened to that?  must not have made good tv..
 
January 16, 2009, 11:57 pm CST

Isabella

I may be way off the mark here but did or did not Isabella say that she had just had a complete hysterectomy?  My mother had one and for some time her hormones were not regulated and she had times when she was very angry and would lash out at anyone close or not close by, it was a very challenging time for my stepfather.  Were Isabella's hormones checked and could this be an issue?....just a thought.
 
January 17, 2009, 4:24 pm CST

01/15 Rage Caught on Tape

Quote From: hmsreyes

there was a news special on threw half the show  now i cant know what happend for the first 35 min. of it  not fair was one show i didnt want to miss

 

I cannot believe they took the whole hour of Dr. Phil for the news special.  I'm sorry the plane crashed and it is great everyone survived and was ok, but I really wanted to see this particular show.  Yes, it really does stink.
 
January 22, 2009, 8:30 pm CST

01/15 Rage Caught on Tape

I can relate to the 13 year old kids story. It seems like my childhood was just like his. At least when watching the show, that's what I was thinking. Always got yelled at by my dad (actually stepdad who adopted me when I was like 5 or something.) Always tried to push his buttons, and succeded 99% of the time. Not doing homework. Ignoring things he told me to do. Yea, that was me. He'll be fine.

 

I can also relate to Isabella a lot also. I could see myself in her. In more than one way if you catch my drift....she's freakin sexy, wow. ANYWAY, yea, ever since I joined the military the rage in me has come out. I always speak my mind, and I don't care who hears it, or if someones feelings are hurt in the process, and I don't think it's a bad thing. Yea, it might get me in trouble, but I really don't care. I would rather speak my mind and get in trouble than sit there like a little (term for female dog) and take peoples BS. I think the reason the rage came out in me finally is because I guess I was always pushed around as a kid. Not beat up or anything, but just picked on and stuff. Another reason I think is because I REALLY hate my job, and I regret doing what i'm doing all the time. I think my rage and overall attitude is based on those 2 main things. BUT, like I said earlier, that's who I am now, and I don't see a problem with it. No one is going to push me around anymore, I'm not afraid to speak my mind or stick up for myself anymore.

 

And like someone said earlier, her husband didn't seem like the right kind of guy for her. That dude seemed like a little pansy from what little they showed of him or what little he had to say during the show. If only I could find a woman with her attitude and looks (because they do matter even if people say they dont), I would be in heaven. Wow....

 
January 22, 2009, 8:31 pm CST

Are you kidding me?

Quote From: tvlover

(I'm hoping she'll read this.)

 

I get a sense you're trying to squelch yourself into a life that's too small for you. You have tremendous star power. You're gorgeous and you know how to hold your own, two rare qualities in themselves. Have you thought about something in show biz? I could see you acting, having your own show, etc.

 

Also, do you respect the guy you're with? I don't get the impression you do. Even if you only get another lion tamer, you're a really excellent one and you at least deserve your equal. I realize it is finding a needle in a haystack, but I think you owe it to yourself to just keep plugging along for what's really going to make you happy.

 

Any therapy you might need would be if you happen to not like heights. You seem destined to them.

I'm not quite sure what you may be thinking. You sound as if you are trying to hit on this woman, or make a pass at her. This is the LAST thing that she needs. Her out-of-control behavior has garnered more attention that it should already. She is ill-mannered and shows traits of a sociopath, a SOCIOPATH not a star. And the fact that you found her self-centeredness attractive as a quality speaks VOLUMES about who you may be as a person, you might want to look into that. Anyway, I can appreciate that she agreed to come onto the show, but freely admits that she makes no connection between her actions and the pain that it causes others. She is sad and pathetic, and may not look quite so "georgeous" in prison-orange, which is where she's headed if she doesn't re-focus her emotions and energy.

 
January 22, 2009, 8:57 pm CST

Just down right PATHETIC...

Quote From: ar1976

Agree with you completely! Some people don't deserve respect. Get 'em Isabella!
You really are not helping this woman by encouraging her behavior. What you have described as your own experience is quite a bit different from the video clips and the interview segment with Isabella, I hope you can see that. Everybody gets fed up with automated systems, stupidity and people who are rude, but that is not what was displayed on this episode. Isabella needs help, she lashes out at the slightest provocation, and imagine if just 30% of the population reacted the way that she does...do you think that automated systems would disappear? Do you think that people would get SMARTER? No. But what would happen is that people would become more rude. I take it from the content and tone of your letter that you feel defeated and helpless much too often - Isabella is not a champion for you, she is actually part of the problem that causes you stress and frustration. Try to work out your own issues and understand that we all deal with daily irritations, it is the WAY we deal with it that speaks to the person that we are, and that is what matters - everyday and for a LIFETIME.
 
January 22, 2009, 9:46 pm CST

FINALLY! The voice of REASON & INTELLECT.

Quote From: oldstepkid

Doctor Phil and everyone else has missed the mark when it comes to Ed and Jacob.  Stepfathers as a general rule can't stand their wife's kids.  Every time that the stepfather lays his eyes on that child he is reminded that another man has slept with his wife.  That drives men CRAZY!  Alot of men hate themselves for hating their stepkids, because they can't figure out why they hate the child.

Stepfathers make their stepkids do impossible tasks and have to live up to standards that they could never  up hold themselves.  Stepfathers work hard at convinceing their wives that all of the problems in the household are because of "her" child or "children".  Routinely step fathers wont even let their stepkid keep a photo of their real father in their room.  The child learns quickly to never even to mention their real father in the household. 

If someone would do the research I would bet the bank that they would find that the leading cause of death and injury to children under the age of 10 would be stepfathers!  No one would ever do a real study on step fathers though, because of what they would find.  They would find that in a majority of cases divorce is a form of CHILD ABUSE! 

I have been married to my wife for 21 years, and we have 3 daughters, 19, 18, and 15.  Among their peer group they are the only kids with both parents, and is it ever noticeable.  Alot of the times the teen girls will try flirting with me to get what they want.  They have learned from their mothers that is how you deal with adult men.  As for the boys I find their behavior much more heartbreaking.  Most of the young men that my girls hang out with are terrified of adult men in social settings.  They have no idea on how to act.  They haven't been taught how to be men.  They have done little or nothing of the things boys did a generation ago.  No man has taken them fishing, camping or just spent time with them.

The one common denominator that these children of divorce have learned is that  they take a back seat to the needs, wants and desires of their mothers and fathers. I laugh every time I hear Doctor Phil tell parents to make sure the children understand that this divorce isn't their fault.  That sometimes people have to go their separate ways and it has nothing to do with the love they have for the kids.  I am obviously paraphraseing   HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT!! All that a child sees is that the two people that they love more tham life itself no longer love each other so they have to be next!  Then you bring in a replacement for the father and it justifies what the child is thinking- THEY CAN BE REPLACED!!  And who replaces Dad?  A man that every time he looks at the kid all he can see is that this child is the product of his wife having sex with another man!  So all to often he becomes abusive, critical to the extreme, and domineering.

I know I slant this more toward men than women but I have found that stepmothers although are often just as bad when they have children of their own, the stepmothers without children allow their maternal instincts to take over.

Doctor Phil, I know that you can never acknowledge what I am saying as fact because you would allienate over 50% of your audiance, but when a stepfather like Ed says that he loves his stepson, I truely hope that you can see through it. Ed can't help himself, because his stepson is the end product of his wife loving another man.

Jacob knows the deal, he is absolutely correct when he says that he would like Ed to treat him like a son.  I can promise you Ed WILL NEVER EVER EVER TREAT HIS OWN CHILDREN THAT WAY!!

Mimi is a fool is she believes that Ed loves Jacob.  ED CAN'T LOVE JACOB!! And Ed doesn't even know why!  Ed isn't a bad guy, he is just trying to over come a 1,000,000 years of evolution!

Doctor Phil used to tell step parents that they should never ever disipline stepkids! what happened to that?  must not have made good tv..

You have hit the nail on the head! Thank you. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your well thought out letter.

 

Stepfamilies face insurmountable odds, this has been acknowledged for years, but little has been said about this phenomenon between the testosterone-charged members of the household. I do agree that men instinctly have greater difficulty in dealing with the "product" of the previous relationship, for several reasons, than do the women - those without children of their own.

 

I wonder if there would ever be any way to resolve such a strong, inescapable Pink Elephant within the family...the young men of this generation are so lost as it is.

 
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