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Topic : 01/21 The Wild, Wild Web

Number of Replies: 69
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 16, 2009, 02:54:04 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Social networking Web sites like Facebook and MySpace are great for meeting people, but they’re also the source of much controversy. Do the dangers of these sites outweigh their benefits? Dr. Phil takes a look at the latest issues to crop up on the digital frontier. He begins with 17-year-old Ashley, who says her mother, Janet, obsessively controls her Facebook account and also harasses her friends online. Janet says she’s witnessed disturbing things on these Web sites, and she’s not about to let Ashley get into trouble. In trying to keep her daughter safe, has the concerned mom gone too far, or not far enough? Dr. Phil’s opinion might surprise you. Then, Facebook doesn’t allow pictures of bare bosoms to grace its pages – but what if the breast that’s bared belongs to a nursing mom? See the picture that caused a firestorm of controversy, and judge for yourself whether it’s obscene. Plus, meet a woman who spent 11 months in an intimate Facebook relationship with someone she thought was actor Matthew Perry from the show Friends. When she found out the true identity of her digital paramour, you won’t believe what happened next. Before you grant your next online friend request, you’ll want to check out this show!

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 21, 2009, 6:49 pm CST

What EVER!!!!

Quote From: chetrick

That mom needs to quit breastfeeding...that toddler is too old for it!!  For goodness sakes I don't know a pediatrician that would recommend still doing that past a year of age.  Its a great thing for BABIES...not toddlers.  Do it in private, no one wants to see it, just you do.

 I nurse . my DW is 16 months old. he can not drink soy milk, cow milk or goats milk . what should he drink?  I dont produce enough to pump and put it in a cup for him. I think as long as they are not 4 or 10 then great let the chld nurse. IT's not killing the child!

 If you thin kit's gross or disgusting then dont watch it! I NIP. ( nurse in public) people say stuff and I tell them to get lost.  I see kids who are 4 or 5 that ha passies and bottles that is more damadging to their teeth then a boob. Then agian woudlnt expect people who formula fed or didnt extend nursing to understand.  My child is not a discreat nurser. he will walk over and try lift my shirt up!

 
January 21, 2009, 6:53 pm CST

01/21 The Wild, Wild Web

Quote From: lttlangel17

I breast fed my son. It was a wonderful and bonding experience. However, it was also a private experience. When shopping I used dressing rooms or restrooms to feed my son. Could I have done it with a blanket thrown over him? Yes, but I also respect that not everyone is comfortable with breast feeding. People knew I breast fed because I was honest about it, not because I had to show them. I encouraged questions and gave honest answers even when male coworkers had questions. The Internet is NOT a safe and appropriate place to show breast feeding pictures even if it doesn't show a nipple. People need to remember no matter what safe guards they set up in their computer there is always going to be somebody out there who is smarter and can hack through those safe guards.
would you have bottle fed him in the bathroom? that is gross. I used to take Dear son out to the car but thought about it and said he needs to eat like any other child if people dont like it then they dont have to look. Only a few said something and I let them know that he was just like the baby beside us using a bottle but  ours was free and not going to  spoil. Then ignored them
 
January 21, 2009, 7:10 pm CST

RE

Quote From: tosatel

oh pleeez

 

Let the kids have some fun.  Let me talk sexily and cam naughtily if they want.

 

It's better than having  virtual sex than real and there's no danger of STDs or pregnancy.

 

I think it serves a very healthy need that these kids can webcam with one another sexually and socially.

L I WOOD DO THE SAME THING  DIS AGEE WITH YOU FRIST YOU DONT NO WHO THE GIRL IS TALKING TO IF IT WAS MY KID GIRL I WOOD DO THE SOME THING  SEE WHO SHE TALKING  WITH THE MOM IS DOING THE RIGHT THING
 
January 21, 2009, 7:53 pm CST

My mother did the same thing to me but I am 31

Today's show hit so close to home.  I am a 31-year-old married and successful business woman with an MBA and CPA and have been living on my own since I was 17 in the U.S.  My mother lives in Hong Kong. We call each other once a week and I have always told the true.  I consider myself as the "model Catholic daughter."  I have gotten 2 academic degrees, worked my way up in the coprorate ranks and well-known as a good Catholic girl among the church commodity. 

Recently, my mother decided to sign up on Facebook and cyber-stalk me.  She read all my friends' comment on my wall, saw my vacation pictures (no, I do not drink or smoke at all) and she concluded that my long working hours was a lie and that I was partying as soon as 5pm arrives.  She also thinks that I was cheating, I was smoking and so and so on my friends list is a bad influence.  She had even commented my profile picture and my Facebook presence as "To find a boyfriend and to impress other men". 

One day, she decided to go to my husband at his work and told him I was doing those crazy things and I am cheating on him.  That created a huge fight between my husband and I and also my mom and we have not spoken since. 

I am still extremely angry that I am 31 years old and my mother is extremely controlling  and I really do not know what does she wants from me.  Any advice? 
 
January 21, 2009, 7:56 pm CST

01/21 The Wild, Wild Web

Quote From: celliegean

 My boyfriend was out of town. THe only time my son would sit till was when he was nursing. I took a pic. of him eating. It doesnt show nipple! infact it shows shirt and the top of DW's head. It got removed! WHen there was No skin showing!!!

 DW will not remember nursing. Actually he might he is 16 months and still nurses. But still. I have oictures os me feeding my DAughter with a bottle. I have pictures of her at his age drinking out of a straw. WHat is the differance? It's a baby eating nothing else. THere are girls with bikini shots that cover less " boob" then a childs head. and I dont see anyone taking thoes pics down!

THe first think a child does in the hospital after being born is they are put up the their mothers breast. 99% of babies are captured on film or digitaly doing that. WHy not share the first few moments of life with friends and family?  I am not saying take a time delayed shot of how to nurse a child. I say I have lactating breasts that are used for nurishing a child. Am I bad for showing others that it's ok? I say I think as long as the lady is nursing and not in a squirting contest let her be.

The difference is that grown women who show their breasts voluntarily are doing it with CONSENT, and if they aren't aware of what those photos will be used for then that is their fault.  They are doing it for sexual reasons for the most part anyway. 
Exposing your infant child in pictures is something completely different.  I don't even post photos of my 16 year old niece in fear that they could be found by someone that I wouldn't want them to be found by.
 
January 21, 2009, 8:11 pm CST

SO Irritated!

Okay, I am really, really irritated with Dr. Phil right now.  Everything that we have ever heard about myspace and all the new technologies that are created tell parents in big bold letters, "BE AWARE OF WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE DOING!" and "THIS IS DANGEROUS; MONITOR AND CHECK UP ON YOUR CHILDREN".  I have listened and watched, heard horror stories of what has happened to others, and made a point to try to be fully aware of what my teenaged daughter was doing.  Dr. Phil himself has stated that parents must check up on their kids, that parents have a right to go through their child's bedroom or phone.  In fact, I vividly remember him asking one guest, "Who's the adult here?" when a parent didn't want to overstep their boundaries and check thier child's phone.  Now he is contridiction himself by telling this mother to give her some space and privacy, and that she doesn't have a right to check her myspace pages.  I am furious right now!  She certainly has a right to check her child's myspace....check away!  I have done the same thing because as parents, we are ridiculed and lectured by the media and persons such as Dr. Phil to do so.  Everytime you turn around, you hear about a teenager being killed or committing suicide due to misconduct online.  Each time the story is followed by a clip on how parents can be neglectful or overlook what "is really going on", and continues to encourage parents to keep tabs on this behavior.  NOW we are told to back off?  I hardly think so! I don't care if the teenager claims to be "a good kid" or not. MOST teenagers will tell you that they are good kids!  Most teenagers ARE good kids.  Does that mean that parents should back off and trust that they are being safe?  NO.  Most good teenagers still make really stupid mistakes.  Although I do believe that this mother has crossed the line in pretending to be her daughter and holding conversations with her friends, I in no way believe that she needs to back off and leave her myspace to her daughter.  Dr. Phil has totally contridicted his previous advice of "as long as you are living in my house, I have the right to check up on you".  Weren't his kids good kids, too?  Yet didn't he say the same thing to them...including he could check their bedrooms at anytime because it was HIS house, and they were simply guests there?  UGH!!  I am a teacher and most importantly, a mother, and I totally disagree with what he said tonight.  Sorry, Dr. Phil, although you have great advice at times, tonight you totally let me down!!!!!!

 
January 21, 2009, 8:51 pm CST

Breastfeeding

Quote From: chetrick

That mom needs to quit breastfeeding...that toddler is too old for it!!  For goodness sakes I don't know a pediatrician that would recommend still doing that past a year of age.  Its a great thing for BABIES...not toddlers.  Do it in private, no one wants to see it, just you do.

Breastfeeding is certainly a preference and deciding how long is too.  But I'm with you. I think it looks downright silly to ask your toddler if/when she wants to breastfeed.  My mom breastfed me but she said she knew it was time to stop when I started asking for it. 

 

Anyone feel free to correct me or share your opinions.  I find the reason one breast feeds to give her baby healthier and more natural nutrients that formula may not offer.  And it's wonderful bonding time for the two as well.   

 

While I don't think it should be "hidden," (meaning I don't think you should be forced to go to the restroom/feeding room unless you prefer more privacy); I do think you should have enough respect for others and be as discrete as possible.  My sisters breastfed all of their kids but they never once put it on display.  If they were somewhere where they didn't the desired privacy they would throw a nice size blanket over them.  I don't see anything wrong with that but like you said, no one wants to "SEE IT!"

 
January 21, 2009, 9:10 pm CST

Love For Breastfeeding Moms!

Quote From: angela0611

I have two kids and the dr's say that when they are 1 year old you can stop breast or bottle feeding and give them whole milk and that they should be eating food so why is she still breast feeding here baby. is it different in other states or what?
Yeah, you can do that, but that doesn't mean it's the best thing to do. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 years and then for as long baby and mother both desire past that. The benefits don't stop just because your child reaches 12 months. The antibodies actually increase in the second year. You can still breastfeed while giving your child whole milk and solid food....obviously. My daughter is 2 and half and still breastfeeding (conceal your gasps) and I feel I've given her an incredible gift. Extended breastfeeding is completely normal in other countries. The average age for weaning in the world is actually 5 years. Look it up.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that I totally agree with everything the nursing mom had to say today on the show. She did a great job standing up for fellow breastfeeding moms which sadly tend to be the minority in this country. If there would have been a pic of a girl in a bikini with her cleavage hanging out that picture would have gotten no attention whatsoever. Sad.
 
January 21, 2009, 10:36 pm CST

01/21 The Wild, Wild Web

Quote From: dannkel1999

Okay, I am really, really irritated with Dr. Phil right now.  Everything that we have ever heard about myspace and all the new technologies that are created tell parents in big bold letters, "BE AWARE OF WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE DOING!" and "THIS IS DANGEROUS; MONITOR AND CHECK UP ON YOUR CHILDREN".  I have listened and watched, heard horror stories of what has happened to others, and made a point to try to be fully aware of what my teenaged daughter was doing.  Dr. Phil himself has stated that parents must check up on their kids, that parents have a right to go through their child's bedroom or phone.  In fact, I vividly remember him asking one guest, "Who's the adult here?" when a parent didn't want to overstep their boundaries and check thier child's phone.  Now he is contridiction himself by telling this mother to give her some space and privacy, and that she doesn't have a right to check her myspace pages.  I am furious right now!  She certainly has a right to check her child's myspace....check away!  I have done the same thing because as parents, we are ridiculed and lectured by the media and persons such as Dr. Phil to do so.  Everytime you turn around, you hear about a teenager being killed or committing suicide due to misconduct online.  Each time the story is followed by a clip on how parents can be neglectful or overlook what "is really going on", and continues to encourage parents to keep tabs on this behavior.  NOW we are told to back off?  I hardly think so! I don't care if the teenager claims to be "a good kid" or not. MOST teenagers will tell you that they are good kids!  Most teenagers ARE good kids.  Does that mean that parents should back off and trust that they are being safe?  NO.  Most good teenagers still make really stupid mistakes.  Although I do believe that this mother has crossed the line in pretending to be her daughter and holding conversations with her friends, I in no way believe that she needs to back off and leave her myspace to her daughter.  Dr. Phil has totally contridicted his previous advice of "as long as you are living in my house, I have the right to check up on you".  Weren't his kids good kids, too?  Yet didn't he say the same thing to them...including he could check their bedrooms at anytime because it was HIS house, and they were simply guests there?  UGH!!  I am a teacher and most importantly, a mother, and I totally disagree with what he said tonight.  Sorry, Dr. Phil, although you have great advice at times, tonight you totally let me down!!!!!!

I agree with you in every aspect!  I didn't really catch how Dr. Phil contradicted himself until I read your post and now that I think about it, he has said in past shows that parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing, especially when it involves the internet, then basically told this mom to back off.  In his defense, I think he still stands his ground on being aware.  He was try  to make the mom aware that she crossed the line big time when she impersonated her daughter. I personally feel she stuck her nose where it didn't belong when she viewed her daughter's friend's page, then called the parents up and told them what she discovered.  That, in my eyes isn't just a protective mom, that's a busybody.

 

I too, believe the mom has let this thing get way out of control and for her to say she's doing it to "check up" on her daughter is just an excuse to get to do it. I pretty much sound like the devil's advocate but I think there should be a mutual respect.  I also think boundaries need to be set by both parties and not crossed.  I'm all for checking up on kids/teens but at the same time, find a way to do it without crossing those boundaries and making them resent you. I am 28 and have a myspace, when my 15 y/o niece found out she begged me for one.  I first told no, and that it was up to her parents.  Somewhow she ended up with one.  When I found out, I told her "I WILL be checking this often!"  And she said okay. I don't feel it's my right to login to her account but I do view her page when I think about since I'm on her list. And if I see anything offensive to me as far as comments, I tell her.  I know, never say never but she not the type to post obscene pictures, like the ones mentioned, so I don't worry about that.  My main concern are the cartoon graphics that her friends post.  I found one that one of her friends posted of a baby with a passifier in it's mouth dancing in circles and....... well let's just say there was no questioning the gender.  I broought it to her attention and respectfully told her I didn't apprieciate it and she deleted it.  Her response was, "I need to delete all of my old comments anyway."  I believe there is a way to go about it so that the parents gets what they want but the teen doesn't feel like their privacy is being invaded either.  And let's face it, she's 17 and at the brink of adulthood.  I just think it's better to "respectfully be in the know" because I'm afraid if we don't, they're going to go behind our backs.

 
January 21, 2009, 11:28 pm CST

breast feeding on the internet

Quote From: celliegean

 My boyfriend was out of town. THe only time my son would sit till was when he was nursing. I took a pic. of him eating. It doesnt show nipple! infact it shows shirt and the top of DW's head. It got removed! WHen there was No skin showing!!!

 DW will not remember nursing. Actually he might he is 16 months and still nurses. But still. I have oictures os me feeding my DAughter with a bottle. I have pictures of her at his age drinking out of a straw. WHat is the differance? It's a baby eating nothing else. THere are girls with bikini shots that cover less " boob" then a childs head. and I dont see anyone taking thoes pics down!

THe first think a child does in the hospital after being born is they are put up the their mothers breast. 99% of babies are captured on film or digitaly doing that. WHy not share the first few moments of life with friends and family?  I am not saying take a time delayed shot of how to nurse a child. I say I have lactating breasts that are used for nurishing a child. Am I bad for showing others that it's ok? I say I think as long as the lady is nursing and not in a squirting contest let her be.

Well, it certainly is your right to take pictures and share the with friends and family.  However, when posted on myspace and/or facebook, they're not only viewed by your friends if your not careful, they're also viewed by millions.  We all know that the internet is full of petiphiles and twisted-minded people posing as something other than what they are.   What would you do if your picture fell into the wrong hands?  Anyone can save any picture they find on the internet to a disc or USB and YOU'RE DONE.  While I don't think you're bad for wanting to document such an experience, I do however, consider it slightly irresponsible because of the negative possibilites.  You just can't be too careful, especially when your child is involved. 

 

I think you'll agree that the breast is one of the most sensual parts of the female body.  Unfortunately, when breasts are viewed on the internet it is done so in a sexual manner most of the time.  And even though that is not YOUR INTENTION, like I said, pictures are easily copied in minutes and it may be someone else's intention to use them for their own sick desires.  Perverts are busted for child porn everyday.  I'm not telling you not to because it's obvious I can't tell you what to do, I'm just saying be smart and use extreme caution. I sincerely hope the mother on the show does also.

 

 

 
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