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Topic : 06/12 Fighting Fair

Number of Replies: 55
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Created on : Thursday, January 22, 2009, 01:21:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/26/09) All couples argue, but Dr. Phil says name-calling, temper tantrums and hitting below the belt can ruin a marriage. He sits down with Mark and Leana who have been married for only five months but say they’re headed for divorce court. Leana says her husband spends more time with his bandmates than he does with her and their four children. Mark says Leana constantly emasculates him, and he accuses her of being unfaithful. You won’t believe what home video cameras captured during the newlyweds' 62-minute fight. Find out what Dr. Phil witnesses that disturbs him the most. Can this couple resolve their differences, or should they call it quits? If you and your spouse are having knock-down, drag-out battles, don’t miss Dr. Phil’s rules for fighting fair! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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June 14, 2009, 7:15 am CDT

Question?

I only saw the tail end of the show during my lunch break. Dr. Phil mentioned something about a 14 day therapy that the couple and audience could try. I found something on the website referring to "Fourteen Days of Loving with Honesty".  I am not sure if this is what he was referring to? When you click and enter this title it brings you to a new page with several subtitles to enter. On the 14 day Morning Dyads (which I assume to be the first), the instructions say to refer to a book and to create a Partner Profile. It doesn't mention what book or anything about this partner profile. I found this a bit frustrating.  Can anyone help me with the title of this book and where this personal profile is located? I would like to check it out.  Thanks for your help. 
 
June 15, 2009, 10:59 am CDT

To the Couple- this is not negative

From a woman and man who have been to hell and back... Please don't give up on yourselves. You won't feel 100% about your relationship without work, but I am sure you will get the steps towards loving and excepting eachother.

 

The main thing that you need to do is encourage yourself to be around people who encourage you to be the better person. Be the bigger person and do it with pride. Know that you have done EVERYTHING besides talking. Even if it means that you apologize for things that might not be your fault.

 

Put a note in your cell phone, that you look at everytime you get in an arguement and when you get away from your wife/husband, look at it, it should read, apologize even when you don't think it was you.... Believe me, the calls will start working in the opposite direction.

 

I have been married to my husband now for 6 years in August. Our 2nd and 3rd years of being together were the roughest, but I luckily was surrounded by people who encouraged me to not always be right and this respect came into our relationship that no one can touch.

 

My last piece of advice to you both is to allow yourself to be vulnerable with the other one. It's ok to hurt. It's ok to feel emotional towards your spouse. Who else are you going to have that bond with? When you think that things are bad, think about how horrible it will be to get used to someone else's toes or sniffles or morning breath or their little hairs from shaving, or them seeing you in your jammies on a Saturday, or getting to know your family ALL OVER AGAIN, and your kids adapting to them....that's just a few things that you really do not want to adapt to.

 

Girl, you can change, I used to be a raging bull, but now, I only yell when necessary, like I need help off the floor or something....Just have faith you two. You don't need others to have faith in you, you need to have faith in you and don't forget to surround yourselves with people who encourage your relationship, not discourage it and heed divorce at every chance.

 

Ok, last piece. I know both of you come in contact with at least 1 or 2 couples that have been married for around 20 years. It's ok to ask them a piece of advice. They might actually encourage something you can pass on 20 years from now, because no matter what, you know you want to stare into those eyes you took a vow to and say you've made it....

 

Good luck.

Erin

 
June 16, 2009, 2:05 pm CDT

06/12 Fighting Fair

Quote From: frankiiarmz

 I think Dr.Phil should have taken a stand and told the husband that you should not have gotten married only to leave your wife alone at home with three children while you play entertainer! She needs companionship and so much more from this man and he is not there. He does not need a reminder to get home on time, because he had no intention of wanting to be home in the first place. People need more than advice on how to agrue fair, they need a clearer understanding on why to get married and how to stay married. Maybe with three children one of whom is a baby their love life is lacking and her husband is frustrated, work on it but don't keep leaving that beautiful woman alone. She will never be able to compete with the applause of an audience or the admiration of the fans, and she should not have to! Come on Dr.Phil, man up and tell that husband to either be there for her or give some other man a chance to make her happy. Did Dr.Phil really think that young mother and wife was wrong to want her husband to help out and be home after she worked all week herself? No wonder divorce rates are so high, people get married with no intention of being there for eachother, it's  all about themselves.
You obviously didn't watch the show. Deana worked all week herself?  Mark is the only one bringing in any income. If "playing entertainer" is his only source of income, the greatest demand for his services will be on the weekends. And, if it's a secondary source of income, maybe he has to take these gigs to meet Deana's financial demands. I doubt she would like the financial consequences of him giving up his weekend gigs. Since she gripes because he "only" gives her $250 a week to pay half the bills. Yet, she refuses to show him the bills she claims to be paying. Which naturally gives rise to trust issues. Anyway, she knew about his career long before they got married. As for their "love life", they had plenty of that before they got married. Which they only did after "making" three babies. Mark and Deana were only married five months when this show was taped. 
 
June 16, 2009, 2:26 pm CDT

06/12 Fighting Fair

Quote From: katinthetree

I only saw the tail end of the show during my lunch break. Dr. Phil mentioned something about a 14 day therapy that the couple and audience could try. I found something on the website referring to "Fourteen Days of Loving with Honesty".  I am not sure if this is what he was referring to? When you click and enter this title it brings you to a new page with several subtitles to enter. On the 14 day Morning Dyads (which I assume to be the first), the instructions say to refer to a book and to create a Partner Profile. It doesn't mention what book or anything about this partner profile. I found this a bit frustrating.  Can anyone help me with the title of this book and where this personal profile is located? I would like to check it out.  Thanks for your help. 
I went to Yahoo and keyed in "14 days of loving with honesty" and got the same results you did. The only book I can think of would be "Relationship Rescue" written by Dr Phil several years ago. I think it tells how to create a partner profile.And, maybe also has the 14 day plan. I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their relationships.
 
June 17, 2009, 6:34 pm CDT

06/12 Fighting Fair

Simply put, she's a new breed of evil. He needs to leave her, to say the least.
 
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