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Topic : 04/15 Honeymoon Hangover

Number of Replies: 46
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 23, 2009, 12:32:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/28/09) Are you a newlywed suffering from honeymoon hangover? It’s when the vacation in the Bahamas is over, the dress is put away and couples realize there’s an important thing they now have to face: Marriage. Dr. Phil is shocked to find how little couples know about each other before they walk down the aisle. Jeremy and Tamarra have been married for only eight months, and they wonder if their marriage can be saved. Jeremy says Tamarra is so clingy that he’s had to give up everything he enjoys in order to spend time with her. Tamarra says being married means doing everything together, so why wouldn’t Jeremy want to spend every free minute with her? Dr. Phil gives them a newlywed quiz. How well do they really know each other? Then, Mandy says her husband of three years did a 180-degree turn after they got married and changed his mind about an important value they shared: faith in God. Now, Nic says he’s an atheist, and Mandy is worried about what this means for their marriage and their family. Plus, Dr. Phil answers important questions from engaged couples: Should partners open a joint checking account? Do you need to get along with your future spouse’s family? How much do you need to know about your partner’s past? If you’re about to tie the knot, grab a pen and paper and make sure you know these important facts about your mate! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 15, 2009, 3:08 pm CDT

You're Right

Quote From: birdieboo48

I just broke off my engagement 2 days ago to a man who is currently in Afghanistan (in the military.) I have a lot of guilt about this decision, but today's show certainly cleared up some of the doubts I have. We really don't know each other well enough to get married at this point. Our relationship has completely fallen apart since he left in December and I'm not sure that it can be saved. He has really let me down and I can't stand the disappointment anymore. Am I being fair? He comes home in June for 2 weeks so we will talk things over then. The last thing I want to do is make a mistake, and I think getting married, and even being engaged at this point is a mistake. We don't support each other and I have given up. Any advice?

You're smart to wait.  You've made a big sacrifice, trying to wait for a man at war.  That is a tough thing to do.  Thank you for caring for him.  And thank you to your soldier for his service. 

 

You've probably heard this in movies and television any number of times, but it is sage advice because it is true.  If your love is true now, it will be true in a year, and in two years.  If love dies due to separation, it would die from something else. 

 

Soup is best when it simmers for awhile.  So wait. Grow personally.  Talk in June.  If you decide to give it another chance, plan to become best friends.  Learn everything about each other, and give yourself and your love time to simmer and deepen.  If you're not right for each other, better to know that now, isn't it?  A little pain now is better than a lot of regret later.  God bless.

 
April 15, 2009, 4:39 pm CDT

Selfless

Like Dr. Phil said on the program, we should say to ourselves everday "what can I do for my partner today to make her/him happy and/or their load a little lighter.  Let's just all be more selfless,  kind, less materialistic, and above all less judgemental and critical. I am sorry to say that we all go around looking for reasons to end relationships, rather than trying to mend what we have, I have been guilty of doing this in the past.  I certainly wish I had an Uncle who was as down to earth and wise as Dr. Phil, it is so refreshing to see someone like this coming out of sinful, materialistic, shallow, and violent Hollywood.

God Bless Everybody, and remember to say something kind to someone today.  We do it all of the time in Canada.

 
April 15, 2009, 6:26 pm CDT

Good Advice

Quote From: nillawilla

You're smart to wait.  You've made a big sacrifice, trying to wait for a man at war.  That is a tough thing to do.  Thank you for caring for him.  And thank you to your soldier for his service. 

 

You've probably heard this in movies and television any number of times, but it is sage advice because it is true.  If your love is true now, it will be true in a year, and in two years.  If love dies due to separation, it would die from something else. 

 

Soup is best when it simmers for awhile.  So wait. Grow personally.  Talk in June.  If you decide to give it another chance, plan to become best friends.  Learn everything about each other, and give yourself and your love time to simmer and deepen.  If you're not right for each other, better to know that now, isn't it?  A little pain now is better than a lot of regret later.  God bless.

This is excellent advice, love is a choice not a feeling. Separation is never good, hang in there and I am sure you will be rewarded. God sees the things you do in the name of love, and I am sure it will not go unnoticed. Cheers.
 
April 15, 2009, 6:32 pm CDT

Marriage Needs More Balance

No wonder Tamarra is starved of attention, her husband works 60 hours a week and on weekends!  I can't believe that wasn't taken into serious consideration.  Marriage is about compromise and sacrifice.  I think Jeremy should work less and Tamarra should work more, join a club or get a hobby.
 
April 16, 2009, 2:13 am CDT

Married to a trucker- Tamara please read.

I don't even know where to begin except we are a very happily married couple. He drives a truck and I am a stay at home Mom with 2 kids here full time. 60 hours a week is NOTHING. I would jump for joy if my man worked only 60 hours a week and was home nightly. But he is gone for days at a time, works 80-90 hours a week at the minimum. By the time he gets home he's so tired he catches up.
As for Tamara I would seriously considering getting a dog or a hobby of some kind to amuse yourself while he's at work. Or even a horse! LOL Get a job yourself even if it's part time, go to school. Do not have children right now, they are time consuming and if you think you aren't getting enough attention now, JUST WAIT!!!

* I eat dinner alone most of the time and it is usually cold from tending to kids.
* I take care of the kids by myself with no assistance except when he is home and not sleeping.
* Simple pleasures like sex in life are no more LOL or few far and in between kids crying!
* Quiet nights at home are no more- read a page in a book, change a diaper, read half a page then it's time for feeding, etc.
The list goes on and on!

Some I wish would realize there are men and women/ husbands and wives that do not get the chance to get home nightly or even weekly. My husband hauls steel to make new cars, car parts, aluminum cans and anything else made of steel, look around and name one thing a truck driver didn't bring, think about how it got to you and how much he or she has missed with their family to make you happy. Look at the soldiers fighting for our country, losing lives for what? US! Some go MONTHS without coming home.

Here is one for you:
I had our son on Tuesday
My husband left to deliver a load  the following day

Truckers and Soldiers are kinda in the same boat with missing their kid's births, birthdays, first steps, crawling, eating solids for the first time. Even anniversaries and some holidays.


One thing I can say is I am PROUD of what my husband does and will stand behind him until the end.
 
April 16, 2009, 2:04 pm CDT

honeymoon hangups

I couldn't believe the things she was whining about: he works 60 hours a week, he spent too much time with the horses, or heaven forbid he like to see his friends.  We've been married 20 years and we actually enjoy being independent people.  If I want to go shopping and he don't who cares.  He loves hunting and fishing and I enjoy the fact that he is happy to go without me.  She needs to grow up.  There is more to marriage than being together 24/7. 

He is  your husband not your possession.

 
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