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Topic : 06/22 Time to Grow Up!

Number of Replies: 45
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 23, 2009, 12:35:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/29/09) As the economy struggles, many Americans are suffering financially and find themselves without extra cash in hand. Dr. Phil's guests say their money is maxed out and they're tired of supporting their adult children. Ardy and Brian say their household expenses have pushed the limits ever since Ardy's 25-year-old son, Jason, moved in. Ardy says he's lazy, unmotivated and acts like a 10-year-old. So why does she continue doling out dollars? Brian says Jason's selfish ways have gone too far, and he wants to evict the young man. You won't believe Jason's excuses. Will these parents decide to pull the plug on their ATM? Then, Maurice and Sharon say they want the best for their 24-year-old daughter, Samantha, and 21-year-old son, Jonathan, but providing for them has put them in the red to the tune of $100,000. Sharon says she'll be paying off the debt until she's 84! Do the brother and sister have a good reason for needing Mom and Dad's help, or are they living beyond their means? Dr. Phil sends the siblings back to school to learn elementary money lessons. Will they come away with a new outlook for their financial future? And, financial expert Susan Beacham shares her top money lessons to teach your children ... starting when they're kids. Join the discussion.

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January 29, 2009, 9:55 am CST

01/29 Time to Grow Up!

     My nephew is needing to grow up, but my sister and her ex continue to enable him.  He is 19 years old and is a high school drop out.  They have never required anything of him, and that is what they are getting - nothing!  He has never had a job - he's worked maybe one day at something but complained because it made him sweat.  He has no GED or anything, but is too good to work at McDonalds.  He sleeps all day at my sister's house and parties all night.  Hes' gotten in trouble with the law for marijuana possession, but even that doesn't seem to concern my sister.  He has purposefully driven his car into a tree and was hospitalized for 2 days for depression.  He lives with my sister, has  been given a new car, and they pay all his living expenses.  He hangs out with the town thugs too.  I just don't understand why my sister doesn't put her foot down and require him to get a GED or at least get a job.  She has said he needs a job to help his self-esteem, but has not pushed him to do anything.  This kid is the laziest person I have ever known and I'm concerned he'll end up in jail or dead if he continues down this road.
 
January 29, 2009, 1:01 pm CST

young student's opinion

So, I'm a full time university student, about 7 hours away from my hometown and parents. They fully support me, tuition, books, rent, and even food. If I took Dr.Phil's adivce to grow up and be on my own, I know eventually I would have to drop out of school, stop my undergrad education, just to make ends meat and live on my own. Now is this more important than using my parents money for a short while in my youth? Isn't education more important in the long run than spending my parents money today? I know eventually I'll pay them back every cent, but for right now, I have to have their financial help to lead to my future successes.
 
January 29, 2009, 1:03 pm CST

My brother needs Dr.Phil

I have a 20 year old brother who mooches off my mom. My parents got a divorce about 4 years ago and my youngest brother stayed with my mom my older brother lives with his wife and children and i moved out at 18 and now live with my family. He goes to school full time so he says he "cannot work" because he is studying till 2 am. The funny thing is that he is not getting good grades in school and is always on the computer or hanging out with friends. My mother gives him money every week from the child support and she also pays his car insurance,gas money you name it. His friend is also living there doing the same thing. They cannot even clean the house for her while she is at work and his bedroom is a disaster did i mention that he is having "mommy" take him and his friend to florida AGAIN for the second year in a row and HAS to fly JetBlue because they have bigger seats and televisions at every seat and did i mention the hotel has a water park. My mom works hard and i think she needs to make him help but she sticks up for him and allows it. How can some people go to sleep at night knowing that they are mooching off there parents who dont have much to begin with. Dr. Phil i hope u do another show on this topic because i would love to bring them there maybe u can help.
 
January 29, 2009, 1:07 pm CST

What is wrong with these parents??? I know>>do THEY??

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PARENTS??? No really??? Why don't they get what a problem that their causing their kids??? They are SO busy being guilty because of their divorces and their bad decisions that they have made in life, that they think their making it up to the kids because of it??? They are doing wrong by not teaching them to take care of themselves!!!!!!!!  I tell other parents this and they just don't want to hear it!!!!!!!!  These parents KNOW they shouldn't be doing this and yet they do it ANYWAY???? I just don't get it??? REALLY. Teach your children to care for themselves!!!!! Thats the greatest GIFT you could EVER give them!!!!!!! Parents with YOUNG children. LISTEN UP!!! This is a great learning lesson for you guys out there. DON'T DO what these people here on the show have done. they would tell you the same thing knowing what they have done!!! WAKE UP!!!!!  It's just like Dr Phil said:  If the parents wern't around>>then what would they do??? Believe me>>These kids would find a way because they would HAVE TO!!!!
 
January 29, 2009, 1:15 pm CST

How do You Make them Listen

My best friend has a child that they continually support.  Child  is in mid twenties and has no job but has all the toys that needed to have a great life.  Parents are in debt and can not afford food at times.  Since this child was very young we have told the parents over and over what to do but they will not listen.  They are already on social security and the next step is the grave.  How do you make them ever listen?  Now the child has a felony and this is costing them even more. Will this ever change?  I believe it will not and that this young person will continue until the parents are dead and then he or she will find someone else to support their lavish life style.
 
January 29, 2009, 1:28 pm CST

ONE WORD

 

 

                         L   O   S   E   R

 
January 29, 2009, 1:36 pm CST

My parents

Are going through the same thing my younger brother thinks the world is owed to him and he forged my mothers name to a student loan, threatens my parents with bankrupt on all the loans they consigned on and has failed out of college with only a semester to go because he didn't feel like going to class, or had a hangover. he needs a reality check!!!!
 
January 29, 2009, 1:38 pm CST

01/29 Time to Grow Up!

Quote From: mew9405

Why didn't someone suggest enlisting in the military or going to Job Corp for these two individuals? These are two established places for young people to start. At least housing would be paid for. If in the military, an allotment can be set up to begin paying back their parents.
That is a great Idea, pays for school, feeds, and houses them, butwhat parent want to push that  in these times? NO that is something they would have to want to do and be their idea, besides the military doesn't need dirtbags. lol
 
January 29, 2009, 1:41 pm CST

Tough Times Need Tough Parents

 My 22 yr old son is bipolar with an additional problem of compulsive spending.  He cannot have his money because he spends it uncontrolably and doesn't even know where it goes.  Recently he had a bipolar "flare" as his one doctor calls it - skipped some meds/went into mania mode/moved in with friends/quit his job of 8 years.  I had been handling his money for 18+ months - paycheck given to me every 2 weeks - all was well and he had money in savings (although he had no access to it).  Long story short, he kept and spent paychecks totalling over $2,000 in 6 weeks and found himself broke.  Got him back to counseling and back on meds - he moved home and started demanding "his" money I shold in trust. I said no and his doctor agreed.  So he's not working but @ least I have $$ to pay his bills (including $200/month to me for rent).  He gets gas money only(must bring me a receipt) - there's no fun money until he is employed again.  It it hard to be strong but I know if I let him manipulate me (histronic personality too) I will be done.  He took a credit card from my purse and used it - his doctor said the next time I am to call the police - this time it was pay the bill out of his account and take $120 for myself for spending time looking for my card/dealing with credit card company/and his lies about taking it.  Kids need to suffer consequences for their actions - parents have become huge enablers.  He and I have been down this road before. The last time he came home owing money for insurance/parking tickets/phone bills - I typed up an agreement saying I would handle his money.  I would give anything for him to be able to do this on his own - but the doctors say he will most likely always need someone to oversee his funds.  His father has the same problem - but at least I'm no longer responsible for him!
 
January 29, 2009, 1:56 pm CST

Thanks Dr. Phil: Children Need to Grow up

Great Advice. My 19 year old son was disrespectful, and expected things to be handed to him left and right. He decided to move in with my ex husbands parents before he started college, and decided to waste his money on luxuries and not the necessities needed to be a responsible human being in our society. Since the other side of the family doesn't stress the importance of responsibility he can continue to take advantage of others. They basically under minded my rules and beliefs I tried to instill in my children. These are not values I have taught either of my children. I put the line down in the sand and I told my son he has to change his ways before I can allow him back in my home. He needs to apologize for his behavior and prove to me and his sister that he has his priorities straight. Our job as a parent is to teach our children to self sufficient human beings in our society. Being a parent is not always a popularity contest. Doing the right thing in teaching is not always what any of us want to hear, but it is necessary to do the right thing. My daughter is 17. She is far more responsible. She is a junior in high school and has a part time job. Yes, she has a cell phone, but has to pay me a monthly charge, and had to sign a contract to have one. If she fails to follow the requirements on the phone, I get to take hostage of it. Just like if I don't comply to my contracts, businesses are able to take services away from me.
 
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