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Topic : 06/22 Time to Grow Up!

Number of Replies: 45
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 23, 2009, 12:35:28 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 01/29/09) As the economy struggles, many Americans are suffering financially and find themselves without extra cash in hand. Dr. Phil's guests say their money is maxed out and they're tired of supporting their adult children. Ardy and Brian say their household expenses have pushed the limits ever since Ardy's 25-year-old son, Jason, moved in. Ardy says he's lazy, unmotivated and acts like a 10-year-old. So why does she continue doling out dollars? Brian says Jason's selfish ways have gone too far, and he wants to evict the young man. You won't believe Jason's excuses. Will these parents decide to pull the plug on their ATM? Then, Maurice and Sharon say they want the best for their 24-year-old daughter, Samantha, and 21-year-old son, Jonathan, but providing for them has put them in the red to the tune of $100,000. Sharon says she'll be paying off the debt until she's 84! Do the brother and sister have a good reason for needing Mom and Dad's help, or are they living beyond their means? Dr. Phil sends the siblings back to school to learn elementary money lessons. Will they come away with a new outlook for their financial future? And, financial expert Susan Beacham shares her top money lessons to teach your children ... starting when they're kids. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 29, 2009, 1:59 pm CST

Time to grow up

I also have a 25 yr old at home.  The BIG difference is, only thing we get for him is a roof over his head and food, we don't pay car payment, Insurance, or anything else.  I cant seem to get him out to get a job either.

Would love to know what to do!!

 
January 29, 2009, 2:55 pm CST

What is it like to have parents that give you money?

I had a long message typed but sadly my computer locked up and I lost it.

 

The gist was this....

 

My parents had family meetings w/us.  We got an allowance to buy our toys/school lunch with.... We had a chore list waiting for us everyday.

 

My dad died in a sledding accident when I was 14.  Mom died in her sleep when I was 24.  Both unexpectally. 

 

Thankfully they trained me well.  I was living on my own and had been loaning mom money over the years, took her car to the shop, mowed the yard, bought my own food, etc. 

 

But my point is, what if the kids on the show didn't have mommy and daddy to help them or support them?

 

Parents, train your children now.  Teach them how to save money, balance a checkbook, do their laundry, clean a house, cook, etc.  You could die tomorrow, and then where would they be?  Prepare them for the real world.  Stand strong.  They (or their mate) will thank you one day...

 

It sickens me whenever I hear of any "child" over 25 still muching off their parents.  I get so angry.  But you can't blame the kids.... Sounds like some of the parents need to do a little growing up.  Teach your kids how to survive in the Real world....

 

 
January 29, 2009, 2:55 pm CST

Those kids are BUMS!

I feel so bad for those parents of Samanatha and Johnathon. How about acting like adults? I mean they are adults now. How can they sleep at night just know they are sucking their own parents dry of all their money, retirement.

Those two need one MAJOR reality check. Get off their lazy asses, and get a damn job, everyone else can do it and if you cant get a job, you better be looking 8 hours/day. Its just so funny to see these punks try to justify and make excuses for their sad existance as a social drain. They will both end up alone, old and lonely cause no self-respecting person will want to date a jobless, moneyless, massive debt, living off mommy and daddy person.

How about you two get up, get some self respect, get up in the morning and look in to the mirror and be happy with what they are and have.

Sad, sad, sad. Just another stat...
 
January 29, 2009, 3:02 pm CST

01/29 Time to Grow Up!

Quote From: misskat88

So, I'm a full time university student, about 7 hours away from my hometown and parents. They fully support me, tuition, books, rent, and even food. If I took Dr.Phil's adivce to grow up and be on my own, I know eventually I would have to drop out of school, stop my undergrad education, just to make ends meat and live on my own. Now is this more important than using my parents money for a short while in my youth? Isn't education more important in the long run than spending my parents money today? I know eventually I'll pay them back every cent, but for right now, I have to have their financial help to lead to my future successes.
No thats just a excuse. Didnt you listen to Dr. Phil? He has more degrees then classes you will finish, if you finish and thats assuming you are spending your parents money on something worth it and not taking some stupid degree is social services or gas attendant and getting drunk 4 days a week at least.

Why dont you get a parttime job? Why dont you get a student loan? or study hard and get a grant or along those lines.

Don't sit there and say without your parents your not capable of going to school. Ill guarntee alot of them, even in your class do have jobs. So whats wrong with you?

Wake up and smell the coffee.
 
January 29, 2009, 3:05 pm CST

Give me 2 minutes with Jason.

If that useless, jobless, moneyless, lazy ass, bum. Adult not to mention said that ever to anybody, nevermind his mom. Just give me 2 minutes with him, hell be nice, get a job, and wont disrespect him own mom again.

That punk needs one hell of a wake up call. Stop making excuses! Get a job punk!
 
January 29, 2009, 3:23 pm CST

01/29 Time to Grow Up!

As soon as children are not in school full time they need to pay their way. I would have been happy for any or all of my 4 kids to live with me forever but not off of me! They were always told school was their job and when they graduate they need to get a paying job. They were welcome to live at home as long as they wanted to but they had to pay their way. I can't blame them that if they were paying their way they wanted to live in a place where they made the rules.
 
January 29, 2009, 3:31 pm CST

As Samantha's longtime best friend...

I don't expect people to believe me or every word I write. This IS, afterall- the Dr. Phil message board and most of you, with the exception of a couple of trolls, are here because you are fans of him and/or his show. Getting defensive is excpected.

 

I'm asking that those of you who have a brain in your head and know how to use it simply just take my words into consideration instead of immediately attacking me.

 

I have been Samantha's (the girl featured on today's show) best friend now for close to five years. Five years is a long time, and during those five years- I have seen the many ups and downs that has happened to Sam and her family. Things that were not mentioned on today's show. Things that were edited out of the program in order to attract viewers and get ratings. A lot happened backstage at Dr. Phil's studio both pre and post show. Things that were unprofessional and shady, but those are best reserved for another day.

 

Let's just say things aren't always as they seem. I'm simply here to give a little insight to the side of Samantha that wasn't shown today.

 

It was mentioned briefly on today's show that Sam had cancer, a bone cancer that nearly cost her her leg, and when I first met her years ago- she was still recovering, still getting her bearings from learning how to WALK again, and attempting to start college and live a normal life. As anyone who is a cancer survivor, or anyone who is currently fighting cancer can tell you- this is no easy task, made even more difficult by the looming thought of medical bills that need to be paid.

 

I'm happy to report that Sam is now cancer-free (obviously, but still- it makes me smile to say it) and graduated college last year with the degree she worked so hard for YEARS for. Through blood tests, x-rays, and constant checkups.

 

I have seen Sam go from job to job, attempting to make a living and put her degree to use, so the very thought that she isn't trying outlandish. Living in a very 'tourist' area of New Hampshire in the middle of winter, surrounded by mom and pop shops that are going out of business because of a failing economy- is anyone truly suprised she's having difficulty maintaining employment? That, and the weakened condition of her knee due to the cancer causes limitations on just how far she can travel for work and how far she can push herself.

 

Someone earler reccomended she work at a dough shop since Hampton is filled with them. Yes, that's possible for the short-term, but do you really think minimum wage is going to be enough? I doubt it.

 

I'm not saying Sam is blameless. She's been careless with money before, but haven't we all? I certainly have. I doubt there is a single person here pointing fingers at today's guests who haven't, at some point- purchased something they didn't need, something on impulse, etc. I'm just saying- the show was edited to make Sam look like she spends her money on frivilous things and hangs around her parents' house all the time- which isn't the case. She has been searching HIGH AND LOW for a decent job that will help her pay her own way, AND help pay her bills and loans, non-stop for the past two months.

 

Also keep in mind that Sam and Jonathan's father lost his job not too long ago. That's never easy for anyone, or anyone's family.

 

As far as Jonathan- I've known him just as long as Sam, and he too, is  good kid who was portrayed in poor light.

 

As far as Dr. Phil's "move out, lose the phone, lose the car" mantra. How in the hell is someone supposed to get a job, save money, and better themselves without a roof over their head, a vehicle to GET to work, and a phone? Are you kidding me? It's 2009. It's time to get with it.

 

Ehhh, I'm getting carried away. I just wanted to express that there are two sides to every story. Unfortunately one side has producers, lawyers, and an editing crew to make his seem more legit.

 
January 29, 2009, 5:06 pm CST

Time to Grow Up

When my son was 20 and back from Job Corp and my daughter was 18, I told them they had 6 weeks to either get a job or get out.

 

That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She moved in with a friend and finally found a job. My son chose to be a street person for 10 years. He finally decided that wasn't a good way to live and has since changed his living conditions.

 

Of course, they were upset at me for a long time, but, they got over it. Kids just need to be shown who's boss and that they can take care of themselves if and when they have to. There's no excuse for these parents that were on this show to be putting themselves in such financial straits.

 

I believe in "we do what we gotta do". I mean to point that to the kids that don't want to do what it takes to provide for themselves. They could do it if they were forced to.

 

Mary

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
January 29, 2009, 5:21 pm CST

no sympathy

They havn't bothered getting a part time job or selling something like PartyLite candels to save their money so they can move to a major center where their skills are needed.  No wonder they are whiney!
 
January 29, 2009, 9:22 pm CST

41 YEAR OLD SISTER LIVES WITH PARENTS

I wish I'd known about this show in advance.  Dr. Phil could have brought my parents and sister on the show as a warning to those other people.

 

My sister is 41 years old, has a full-time job and is smart, funny and healthy.  She lives with my perfectly functional parents (they don't need help from anyone) and has since she was in her mid-20s when she had to move out of her apartment because the building was sold.  My parents invited her to move in -- and she's never left.

 

While they don't give her money, she doesn't pay rent, nor does she do anything around the house or in the yard.  She pays for her own food -- but that's it.  My parents (who are retired) say she can't afford to live on her own, but she bought a brand new car, goes on long vacations, shops constantly and goes out for meals. 

 

I've confronted my parents about this--saying they're not doing her any favors since her life is passing her by.  (She has few friends and doesn't date.)  Not to mention that my parents unhappy, unhealthy marriage gets to hide behind my sister's presence.

 

My Mom finally confessed she wants my sister to stay because, otherwise, she'd have no one to talk to.  My Dad admitted he wants my sister to stay because if she leaves, my Mom will be miserable and he'll have to deal with that.

 

I've even tried talking, gently, to talk to my sister.  She doesn't seem to understand why it's a tragedy for all three of them to continue living like this.  But especially her.

 

It's a sad situation....and I just needed to get it off my chest.  Thanks for "listening."

 

 

 
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