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Topic : 02/10 Parent vs. Parent

Number of Replies: 17
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Created on : Friday, February 06, 2009, 02:12:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
During tough financial times, families face some of the biggest pressures. When parents are on edge and fighting with each other, children are often a casualty of their hostility. Dr. Phil's guests Melissa and Robert say their four-year marriage and blended family is on the rocks because they argue all the time about how to parent and discipline their three teenage sons. Melissa says the greatest cause for concern is that a big marijuana problem has cropped up in their house. The couple says their 14-year-old, Ben, is spiraling out of control, and they're fighting a losing battle to help him; their 15-year-old son, Jacob, has stopped smoking pot but is in a relationship with a 13-year-old that Melissa thinks is wholly inappropriate; and 20-year-old Brandon gets high at home and frequently clashes with his stepfather. Are these troubled parents headed for divorce? Find out if this family under pressure has one last fight in them, and whether they will stand united, or be a family divided. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 6, 2009, 3:47 pm CST

Doctor Phil Show.

Doctor Parent Parebts Phil/Robin Verse. Are you kidding me? You are a parents of a two boys of your kno--

w. See you on Tuesday 10th, 2009. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------

 
February 10, 2009, 4:34 am CST

It's not just her

Some of these postings don't have a clue. I see some of you blaming Melissa and saying he should get out while he can. She's the one that needs to get out. She's not perfect but I know for a fact, he's further from perfect than she is.
 
February 10, 2009, 8:21 am CST

Parent vs Parent

Are you kidding me? I don't care if my child says " NO or that I'm going to do it anyways'. I would not allow my 14 year old child smoke pot, especially in my home. They have no forseen notion of the consequences of their behavior or how it will effect their future at that age. That's why they need parents. Wow!!! I didn't even know what pot was at 14. As for the other son with a 13 year old girlfriend, where is the boundries. I had rules as a teenager that I was not even allowed to date until I was 16 and there was no ands,ifs or buts about it.  Especially to have them spend the night together. I wasn't even allowed to have a boy in my bedroom when I turned 18. I think that as long as a child lives at home they need to live by the parents rules and guidelines. Maybe I'm old-fashioned and you can call me that if you want but I think I turned out to be a pretty responsible adult. Not that I haven't made my mistakes, but I have learned from them.
 
February 10, 2009, 12:30 pm CST

2 Wusses For Parents!

HELLO!   First of all,  I'm sittin' here laughing my yazoo off!   OMG!   These parents are dumber than the kids are!   You know,  this reminds me of the original "Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory"  movie where the rich parents allow the brat to do 'anything she wants or gives her anything she wants'   and what happens,  SHE ends up down the tubes FIRST!   NO GOLDEN EGGS THERE!    

 

That man who calls himself a father,  if he got caught with that drug paraphenalia in his car here in VA?   WHOA!   He wouldn't HAVE to worry 'bout being a father,  CPS would be steppin' high to pull those kids away from both of them and as far as the mother goes:  YO!  BLONDIE:  THE MOTHER IS SUPPOSED TO SET THE STANDARDS IN THE HOUSEHOLD!   That means MOM says what goes about education, religion, food, clothing and NO DRUGS OR ALCOHOL!  

 

As far as the MALE (I'm not even gonna call him a man)  he reminds me of my husband!   Everything he does is perfect,  nothing I do is right.   He's a you-know-what from H-ll!  And what is this you just said about "I thought she'd be a wonderful ADDITION to helping with the kids!?"   SHE'S YOUR WIFE!    SHE'S NOT AN ADDITION TO YOUR SORRY A!   GET A BRAIN!  

 

As far as the kids go,  If I were your neighbor,  I'd have called CPS on you both a long time ago!  Neither one of you even deserves the privilege of raising a child.  You both need to get brains! 

 

If Dr. Phil can't fix you two, nobody can!    I'd be sending you both to jail!  God help you both!

 
February 10, 2009, 12:49 pm CST

13 year old girlfriend............

  As to the idea of a boy 15, and a girl 13, being boyfriend & girlfriend, what's the big deal with the age difference? I don't feel that a 13 girl should be old enough to date but that's HER parents problem and fault, not theirs. But as to the actual age difference, so what? It's only 2 years. HER parents should not allow this boy to spend the night, where are they? Back when I was that age (13) I had a boyfriend the same age (15) but there was no spending the night involved, no dating, no nothing, we didn't even kiss. It was called "Going around" back in those days. It was innocent. I would wear his football jersey on game night, etc. and we would walk to class together, that was the extent to relationships 30 years ago among young teenagers.

  OK, I don't have a big issue with the pot smoking either. I admit it! There are so many other, worse and more dangerous drugs that teens are getting into that pot is pretty tame compared to them. If my kid smoked pot would I mind? Of course I would and I would do everything I could to make them stop, but the parents on todays show act like it's the end of the world. They should be thankful that pot is the ONLY drug they are into. And their idea of trying to get their kids to stop is to try smoking it themselves? I don't understand their reasoning at all. What did they learn from that? How does that reinforce their job as a parent? How does that help them to tell their children "Don't do it"? Now the children can come back and say "Well mom & dad smoked pot too, just last week".

 

 
February 10, 2009, 1:06 pm CST

They need the "LOOK"

When I was younger, my parents just gave me the "LOOK".  My husband and I are the parents of five sons.  They are all pretty much grown...except for our "oops" son.  All my husband or I had to do was give them the"LOOK", or a really good lecture.  They would have rather been beaten to a pulp than have a lecture from their father which could have been hours long.  They have all so far turn out to be responsible adult young men that we are very proud of.  The youngest still has a bit to go, but so far he is outstanding.

The couple from the show need to get involved in those boys' lives.  They need to step up to the plate and show them who is the boss.  I am not saying that my husband and my parenting is perfect by all means, and there were a lot of ups and downs along the way....but  I think we have done a pretty good job so far and hope that we passed down those lessons to them and hope that their children get the same involvement  we gave to each of them.  Good luck. 

 
February 10, 2009, 2:43 pm CST

Parent vs Kids and this is my world too

I understand that many parents take the lazy way out, one of my best friends did.   I know it sounds mean, but it really is lazy and self indulgent to 1) not prepare your kids to be as success as they can  and 2) visit their bad manners, drug use (which leads to robbery and violence) and leeching attitude on me as a hardworking person.

 

I do volunteer work - but I don't like to be forced to support drooling useless humans like these boys are set to be if thier parents don't step up and force some good habits on them.

 

Sorry this is so harsh - but when you see a commuinty crumbling due to drug use .... crumbling due to a slew of kids with parents like this ..... it frustrates the caring right out of me.

 

No one is a monster here - but not one of them is pulling thier weight & I hope they all take this as honest input and work toward being good members of their community.

 
February 10, 2009, 2:43 pm CST

AMEN to THE LOOK!

Quote From: raymom5

When I was younger, my parents just gave me the "LOOK".  My husband and I are the parents of five sons.  They are all pretty much grown...except for our "oops" son.  All my husband or I had to do was give them the"LOOK", or a really good lecture.  They would have rather been beaten to a pulp than have a lecture from their father which could have been hours long.  They have all so far turn out to be responsible adult young men that we are very proud of.  The youngest still has a bit to go, but so far he is outstanding.

The couple from the show need to get involved in those boys' lives.  They need to step up to the plate and show them who is the boss.  I am not saying that my husband and my parenting is perfect by all means, and there were a lot of ups and downs along the way....but  I think we have done a pretty good job so far and hope that we passed down those lessons to them and hope that their children get the same involvement  we gave to each of them.  Good luck. 

Boy aren't you saying a mouthful!    I remember my Sunday School Teacher Grandmother (maternal)  just had to start reeling off her knowledge of the Bible and WHOA!  I stopped in my tracks!  Agree totally with you on those parents need to get involved,  put those kids into some extracurricular activities, band, chorus, football, SOMETHING!  HEY parents - when kids are involved and their minds activated and strong.  Your kids are just wasting away!  How could you allow that to happen?! 
 
February 10, 2009, 3:12 pm CST

amen again sister....

Quote From: bpgagirl22

Boy aren't you saying a mouthful!    I remember my Sunday School Teacher Grandmother (maternal)  just had to start reeling off her knowledge of the Bible and WHOA!  I stopped in my tracks!  Agree totally with you on those parents need to get involved,  put those kids into some extracurricular activities, band, chorus, football, SOMETHING!  HEY parents - when kids are involved and their minds activated and strong.  Your kids are just wasting away!  How could you allow that to happen?! 
Just take a look around you.  There are a lot of forgotten children out there.  They leave for school in the morning without anyone to say goodbye.  The come home in the evening to no one to say hello to.  Parents are selfish these days.  They want it all and they want it now with their children suffering and taking the sacrifice.  They will acquire "things"  and their "space" instead of acquiring well rounded, secure children.  God help us.   Children need their parents to be in their lives, of course, until they are finally prepared to leave the nest that we so lovingly made for them.  Then, hopefully the will continue the legacy of being good parents.
 
February 10, 2009, 3:25 pm CST

Slim Chances

If that man hasn't been a Father to those boys before now & set real boundaries & made them stick, he won't be able to do it now that they're teenagers.  And the 20 year old.......get his lazy butt out to work and go to school or he'd have my favorite four choices for young men who haven't been allowed to grow up:  Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines!   I think they're hiring.   The two young boys need  a huge dose of reality and I doubt that their Father is capable of giving it to them. 
 
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