Topic : 02/13 Valentine Dilemmas

Dile Doctor Mas Phil/Robin Tine Valen. That one is a good one Doctor Phil and very funny aswell. See you-

on Friday Feburary 13th, 2009. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------------

I HAV;NT HAD A VALENTINES DAY FOR YEARS.EVEN WHEN I WAS WITH SOMEONE.NO BIRTHDAY CARD OR PRESENTS,NO XMAS EITHER.SO I DONT KNOW WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE YEAH RIGHT WHATS THAT.

                             CUDDLES05

I read a message from a woman that said she had  been married 41 years to a man she no longer loved, a man that got drunk everyday and often passed out, a man that became ill with cancer, a man she took care of during his illness.  She said she has been alone for the past 2 1/2 years after this death and that she feels lonely.  I have that kind of marriage, he is an alcoholic, he see's the world in only terms that apply to him. He is not nor has he ever been present in a marriage with me.. He can't, he does not know how and I am alone in a marriage.  To the woman who wrote the above, you were alone for 41 years and just didn't recognise it because he was in the room with you.

You can be alone in a crowd.  The difference between you and I, I know I am alone and I am fine with it, does not hurt me anymore. Take what is left of your life. If you don't want to be alone, volunteer your time to thoes that will value you.  It's what I do so I never feel lonely.

Since my birthday is the day after Valentine's Day we usually had a double-duty celebration.  My 50th birthday was coming up and our daughters wanted to have a family party.  They made their usual heart shaped cake, made dinner and decorated the house, and my husband was late getting home; last minute shopping.  this was not uncommon for any gift giving occaision, however with guests it didn't bode well.  Hmmm!!!  Since it was the big 50 and Valentine's Day, I was hoping to get something truly special and significant...  He went to Costco and brought me home a set of T-fal saute pans, in a plastic bad, no card, no wrapping and said he thought I'd like it!!!  Oh, my gosh, I wanted to clonk him over the head with them!  I already had 2 sets of cookware, mine and my mom's plus her wonderful cast-iron skillets. 

The end of the story is...after 19 years we split up and I gave the pans back to him.  He looked at me stunned and said, "I gave those to you!"  My response was, "you need them more than I do."  I still have the cast iron skillets, and my mom's stainless, gave mine away to someone who needed them.  Don't know if he still has the saute pans, but we are friends in spite of a messy break-up.  Even though there were many years of strange and last minute gifts, I can smile while writing this!!!