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Topic : 04/10 Growing Up Too Fast?

Number of Replies: 293
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Created on : Thursday, February 12, 2009, 03:17:29 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/16/09) If you are a parent of a little girl, “tween,” or teenager, you’re going to relate to this show! Dr. Phil talks with parents who say raising a teen daughter is difficult in an oversexed, celebrity-obsessed, cosmetic surgery-seeking society. Char and Robb are concerned about their 14-year-old daughter, Demi, because they say she dresses too sexy for her age. She likes to wear thong underwear, tight jeans and high heels. They admit they’ve even used the word slut to describe how she looks. Demi says she doesn’t care what names people call her –- she’s “Demi-licious!” Are Char and Robb truly putting their foot down? Dr. Phil has some hard questions for these parents. And, what does Demi’s little sister have to do with the role Demi has chosen? Plus, meet the author of The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 13, 2009, 7:57 am CST

02/16 Growing Up Too Fast?

I don't understand how, as a society, we can say that 14 year olds don't know what they are doing when it comes to making decisions about sex, yet when you look all around you, it's very obvious they know more than I do about the subject.  We are buying our heads in the sand.  When I was 14 in 1965, I had adult men hitting on me all the time.  I knew right from wrong and my parents taught me what to do.  Other than rape, there were no laws protecting us at that time.  I knew NOT to put myself in certain positions and I definitely was taught that dressing a certain way attracted certain types of men.  We think just because there's a law against something that that changes human nature that's been around since the beginning of mankind.  All the laws do is give people something after a crime has been committed.  I'm sorry, but are people that stupid?

 
February 13, 2009, 11:33 am CST

Doctor Phil Show.

Doctor Erica Fast Growing Jay Jordan Phil/Robin Too Up? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with teena--

ger these days? Doctor Phil have you lost your marble? Then go get them. See you on Monday Feburary 1-

6th, 2009. Day Happy President! Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------

 
February 14, 2009, 5:09 pm CST

02/16 Growing Up Too Fast?

 i can't believe how some teenagers and kids act,why don't parents do something about it, i would not let my kids act like that, i believe in wipping them, my mom was a good parent and if i didn't have her god only knows how i  would be right now,but not everyone even know how ther e kids r doing, but that is just how i feel, sorry if other don't like what i what
 
February 14, 2009, 9:41 pm CST

show

This is basically what happens when parents are lazy and kids grow up in front of the television.  You get  all these little Avril Laveenagers dressing like hoochies. 
 
February 15, 2009, 4:46 am CST

WAY TO FAST

Dr. Phil why did her parents allow this to start? Where does she get the money to buy this kind of clothing? However thong underwear does not  make someone bad.
 
February 15, 2009, 10:17 am CST

growing up to fast

 It seems to me that the parents are the ones truely responsible! You can't blame everything on tv ! I believe the stores don't help! Now days you can't go in a store and find anything thats not form fitting tight and a_ _ crack showing  BUT in the end it is the parents who should have the final say as to what the child puts on. So you can blame tv or the stores but it truley falls down to parental guidence and getting involed
 
February 15, 2009, 1:23 pm CST

Kids Today

As I have not yet seen the show, I need to point out something that may or may not be mentioned.  I am a teacher, and have frequently been shocked at what the girls are wearing today. Halloween can turn the halls into Hooker-Central as they dress in more and more risque outfits.  Sometimes they don't even need Halloween to do that.  People say that the parents need to put their foot down ... what I don't think a lot of parents realize is what their children are doing when they're not around.  I know that girls will change clothing when they get to school.  I know that things happen when they get together outside of their parents observation.  I know that they watch what others around them are doing (parents, rolemodels, other teens, magazines, what they see on TV and the Internet) - and what is revealed on their social profiles online (Facebook, MySpace, etc) is more than an eyeopener.  Even those parents that are a 'friend' to their children on those networks, kids can still limit what is seen or not seen by the participants.  Including parents.  I know the conversations I've overheard and participated in with these kids.  I do what I can on the parents' behalf ... there is a breakdown.  Somehow 'dressing like a slut' has been equated to 'growing up' ... I don't know how to communicate that it isn't.  Wise choices, mature responses, responsible actions, community interaction, promoting a better and more healthy (in ALL facets of a person's well-being and relationships) lifestyle IS 'growing up' ... maybe what is needed is that PARENTS become the rolemodels that they want their children to emulate.  I will point fingers to the parents .. but I will also say that I think there's a lot of ignorance out there as to how their actions are impacting their kids.  How in their ignorance and sometimes desire to be their child's friend and not their parent, they are actually allowing and encouraging their kids to behave like this.  If only they could see what I have seen ... a girl walks into the washroom at school and walks out a tramp. 

 

Oh, and if someone is asking why this isn't addressed at the school level, it is.  However, we cannot MAKE a child change their clothes, we cannot withhold them from classes, we cannot send them home (what child wouldn't love an extra day off! especially if that meant home alone?? or if parents are there, there's always other places a kid can go with a free day!), when our word is up against the parents, somehow the parents will disbelieve us and enable their child, the conflict with things like this (tolerance, acceptance, it's their 'choice', etc.) wears one down. 

 

One final contemplation ... there is much talk about how it's not the dress that makes the slut (how short this and that was also in vogue in the 60's).  I will say that who you are is depicted in how you dress; and there is something markedly different between the teens in the 60's and the teens today.  For one - there were still families then - bio-mom, bio-dad, 2.4 kids, etc.  Not so today.  How interesting that those kids of the 60's are the parents of today ... perhaps something was started then that we are seeing the results of today??

 

Just a few thoughts to add to this situation ...

 
February 15, 2009, 7:45 pm CST

kids vs. parents

Its hard to tell your child what to wear and what not to wear. You cant be a parent dressing your 15 year old daughter or even son for that fact! However most of these kids do not buy there own clothes.  I think the parents need to take some responsibility and not buy clothing they dont approve of.

 
February 16, 2009, 8:07 am CST

Advertising Gone Amuck

My sister told me I needed to get with the times and dress more like what this teenager is doing.  So, I gave it a try.  Before last summer, I did not have a date in 8 years.  Last summer, I dressed in more form-fitting clothing (but no skin showing) and ensured my make-up was done everyday.  I was highly uncomfortable.  I don't know how these teenagers do it everyday.  In summary, before the summer was over, I had four dates and they asked for casual sex.  YUCK!  NO THANKS.  For me, it was just an experiment and this summer I will go back to dressing in my normal manner with the hopes that Mr. Right-for-me will respect the way I am comfortable dressing and ask me to court him the proper way.  It is a shame that things have gotten SO bad in the dating world.  Oh, by the way, I am in the 35-45 age bracket.

This type of dressing advertises something in which most women are not interested.  Respect yourself and dress according to your true personality.
 
February 16, 2009, 8:08 am CST

Lots of Love

To me, this little girl is looking for love, attention and acceptance....If she doesn't feel it at home - she will look for it elsewhere.  Young boys are more than willing to give it to a pretty girl.  Not to blame the parents - they may just need to put an immense amount of effort into it.  Our kids have tons of influence telling them they are not OK...... we need to counter that with tons of effort telling them that they are Wonderful!!

 
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