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Topic : 02/20 Tyler Perry: Dysfunctional Families

Number of Replies: 17
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, February 13, 2009, 03:00:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dysfunctional families are often the punch lines of movies and sitcoms, but for some households, dealing with fighting, anger and turmoil is no laughing matter. Tyler Perry says he knows about this issue firsthand. The renowned writer/actor/director has publicly spoken out about growing up in a family where rage turned into physical abuse. In 1998, as a struggling playwright, he began selling out crowds with his musicals and eventually achieved great commercial success in both theater and film. His most famous persona, Madea, returns to the big screen in Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail, in which Dr. Phil has a cameo. Tyler sits down with Dr. Phil to discuss how his titular character struggles with anger and lack of forgiveness. Plus, get Dr. Phil's advice for dealing with toxic relatives. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 20, 2009, 5:44 pm CST

Anger isn't a bad thing

Given the current situation and our low life government if you aren't outraged, than you obviously aren't paying attention.  

Anger isn't a bad thing.  If no one every got angry we would never have change.   We would still have slavery, we would all be living on the street because the corporate criminals would do what they want with us, woman would still have no rights etc...

And speaking of woman what a lame show full of double standards.  The lady on the show really wasn't that bad, in fact I found her somewhat likeable.   Thank goodness there is a least one parent out there who is actually raising there children and teaching them some behavior and not be another spoiled generation Y or whatever they are called.   If you want to look at the beach, don't be lazy-stop wasting gas and park your car , take a walk, get out of other peoples way you are trying to use the roads for what they are there for-driving or cycling.   I have seen Dr. Phil tell woman to stay with their husbands who are 100 times worse.    What a double standard.  
 
February 20, 2009, 5:56 pm CST

Look to yourself

Quote From: ryhoward

Dear Mr Perry,

My daughter and I really enjoy your work.  I wrote an email to you once inviting you to  get to know me as a potential friend.  I know with your status,  the opportunity to finding a true friend who is not trying to undermine you in some way to get what you have is almost nonexistent.  I too have been observing dysfunctional attitudes within my family and life.  My employment and income level has been sabatoged to the point where I have not been able to make above $7,000 per year because of this.  I know my father, who was in the military and is now considered disabled because of exposure to agent orange is responsible for my daughter and I going in and out of homeslessness.  My father did not raise me or spend any real time with me or my twin sister.  He has been violating my rights using his military access and benefits to do reputable damage to my life.  He seems to have vowed to make our lives a living hell because he was unable to do this with my mother's life.  He used to beat her even while she was pregnant with us (Please note that he has a documented history of this type of violence with women).  Unfortunately, it seems as though she has learned a few of the wrong things from him and has in some ways made us to be the focal point of resentment and disdain that she really has for him.  He was physically abusive to women for years and now he has been using his military privileges to be economically violent with with me because I hindered is ability to lie to people to borrow money.  All he would do is add that money to the money the government would give him and gamble it away. (Or spend it away on shopping for clothes, going to Casinos etc.  He doesn't neeed it, he receives $3000 per month minimum now and he only was in the military for less than a year.  I am seriously considering suing him and prior employers for his role in 'playing employment and income games with my life'.  The sad part about this is, all these years of dealing with it, I was more concerned for his health and spiritual growth than my own but he never seemed to give a hoot about whether or not my daughter and I had a decent place that we could afford to lay down in or food to eat.  He never seemed to start to do the things a Father should do, according to the bible and people of wisdom- even though the government made it possible for him to do all things that wjould have been pleasing in God's sight.

Sincerely,
 
Ms. Ramica Yvette Howard

updaterh@yahoo.com
If you keep looking to others and blaming others you will never solve your problems.    Your father sounds horrible and sorry about what you have been through.    Maybe I am missing something, but given you are an adult I fail to see how it is your fathers fault that you as an adult have at times been homeless, why it is his job to provide you with a place to live, or why it is his job to provide you with food to eat?   

Tyler Parry isn't likely going to swoop in and rescue you either.  If you want your life to improve, the key to it is to stop expecting things from others and start taking responsibility for your own life because no one else will.   
 
February 20, 2009, 8:54 pm CST

These Characters Are NOT Representative of Black Families

I have to disagree with Dr. Phil when he said that he liked "House of Payne" and "Meet The Browns" because they "show black families in a normal way." NO these two shows do not depict normal black families.

All of the characters are way over the top and do not realistically reflect the lives or behaviors of normal black families.

The Paynes and Browns are just sitcom characters that are played for laughs.

This is one of the problems with television shows with black characters, non-ethnic people like to point at them as being representative of our culture and think that we all behave like these characters.

Well we do not.

These shows should not be used to understand black family life because our families are no different than any other family.
 
February 21, 2009, 12:25 am CST

Dysfunctional families

Quote From: felicialenae

I think its sad that someone can let such pitty things upset them.  I feel bad for her boys.  I think they're the true victims not her.  She needs to quit acting like a kid, and start taking care of her kids.  Children mimic what they see, so unless she wants her children to act how she acts she needs to get into some anger management therapy.  I hope she gets the help she needs so her and her family can live a better life. Best wishes!

Did you ever stop to think that maybe she IS thinking about her boys and her family.  I mean, why else would she go on the show?  She is obviously wanting to change her behavior.  She said she didn't know why she was behaving that way and wanted to stop.  She was seeking help.  She said she wanted to stop this because she could already see how it was being passed onto her son.  We also only got to see a brief summary of her problem shoved into the last 20 minutes of the show so I think before you start throwing stones at this woman, maybe you should stop and think that she was reaching out to try and change her behavior before she did anymore damage to her family.
 
February 21, 2009, 7:37 am CST

02/20 Tyler Perry: Dysfunctional Families

Quote From: trigreen

Given the current situation and our low life government if you aren't outraged, than you obviously aren't paying attention.  

Anger isn't a bad thing.  If no one every got angry we would never have change.   We would still have slavery, we would all be living on the street because the corporate criminals would do what they want with us, woman would still have no rights etc...

And speaking of woman what a lame show full of double standards.  The lady on the show really wasn't that bad, in fact I found her somewhat likeable.   Thank goodness there is a least one parent out there who is actually raising there children and teaching them some behavior and not be another spoiled generation Y or whatever they are called.   If you want to look at the beach, don't be lazy-stop wasting gas and park your car , take a walk, get out of other peoples way you are trying to use the roads for what they are there for-driving or cycling.   I have seen Dr. Phil tell woman to stay with their husbands who are 100 times worse.    What a double standard.  

I see what you're trying to say about anger....however, uncontrolled anger does absolutely no good for anyone involved. 

 

Being outraged at things like corrupt government, world hunger, etc...is good because it does effect change, but it has to be controlled, reasonably thought out, and dealt with in a constructive way.

 

The woman on the show was raging from a position of self-entitlement. She wanted everyone to do things HER way, regardless of how THEY felt about it..and when it's your own family; someone you're supposed to love; someone who is dependent upon you for security and love...it's just not okay to lose your mind over stupid stuff!  Nothing constructive can come out of that, and it does a lifetime of damage.

 

Also, it's ridiculous for people  to expect everyone else in the world to get out of their way....why  do

they think they are any more important than anyone else?

 

Get out of your OWN way! 

 

 
February 23, 2009, 8:42 pm CST

Thanks!

Quote From: cndrlla

Ramica,

Not a good idea to post your email address like you did, and to tell your story like that....too many nut cases out there who will pose as Mr. Perry and try to get you to tell them your phone number and address, with the intent to do you harm, emotionally and physically.

 

You have to know that it is HIGHLY unlikely that a movie star will bother with an ordinary person who is not in his inner circle!

 

Please be careful, and stay in the real world!

I want to thank you for posting this!  There are many gullible people out there who believe EVERYTHING they're told and in return wind up getting screwed. Dr. Phil had a lady on his show not too long ago who thought she was myspacing Matthew Perry. Remember? As it turned out she was myspacing a 16 year old female from the UK. People need to constantly be reminded about the importance of not giving out their personal info online.  There's no such thing as "too safe."
 
February 26, 2009, 7:35 pm CST

02/20 Tyler Perry: Dysfunctional Families

Quote From: cyenot1049

What kind of  abusive FATHER is there like the manon the show who stays with the abusive wife? 

 

 He is abusing his sons by allowing his wife to abuse him and his sons!

 

  GET A DIVORCE. 

 

YOUR KIDS ARE AT HARMS DOOR.

   It really isn't that easy to get out.  I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years.  You get in denial thinking it's going to get better.  Not a day goes by that I don't regret letting my son see the arguing and hitting for so many years.
 
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