Topic : 08/10 Teen Love Trauma

Doctor Love Phil/Robin Teen Trauma. That is for sure. But not with me. See you on August Monday 10th,---

2009. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just thought I would share a little.  My daughter starting dating someone her senior year. She allowed this person to turn her world up side down.  Long story short, she ended up having a nervious breakdown and needed to be hospilized.  Even after that, she wouldn't leave him.  At 18 you are concidered to be an adult and as parents we got little to no information about her condition.  Once released from the hospital we were cut completely out of the loop.  She even saw a "so called theripist" who let her abuser in on her therapy sesions.  This allowed him total control! My husband came up with the idea to call a hot line for abused women.  We started leaving paperwork around the house, then eventually calling with her by our side (she wouldn't talk at first), eventually we got her to talk to them.  They were extremely helpful.  Maybe this would help this family too.  She finally left this jerk, but her road has been long and the scars are unbelieveable.  She continues to make poor decision regarding men today.  I really feel for these parents.

I was this girl when I was 18.  I too dated a guy that my parents did not approve of.  He talked me out of going to college so I could spend more time with him and I, stupidly, agreed.  A controller wants to bring you down to their level.  I also got pregnant, because he wanted me to, and I stupidly agreed.  He was so excited when I got pregnant, but three months later he completely changed and wanted me to get an abortion.  18 WAS THE DUMBEST YEAR OF MY LIFE AS I THOUGHT I WAS AN ADULT, BUT STILL HAD AN IMMATURE MIND.  I know you don't think so now, but down the road you will see how much better it is when you are older and set to have a child.  I had my second child at 31 and it is sooooo much better. 

Needless to say, I ended up raising the child without his help and she has issues with her biological father not being involved in her life. 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE- I know it is hard to understand now, but your parents are only looking out for you.  You don't want to be with a guy that can't even be around your parents.  It is not fun.

Just because your boyfriend was treating you good when you were pregnant doesn't mean it would continue.  I know it is hard to wait for everything you want, but it is well worth it in the end.

Your entry was just what I needed to see.  Our daughter had a terrific future and everything going for her and now has turned her back on all that and us.  Can you give me some ideas, as a young lady, of what we could do to get her attention without scaring her away?  We would really appreciate your help.  You seem to have learned much in this situation and I am totally exhausted from trying to do the right thing.  Thanks,

kteacher2155

Your message caught my attention because you seem so caring and yet you can not do anything to help the situation.  This is exactly how my husband and I feel.  Our daughter has not be exposed to abuse yet, at least we don't think so, but her boyfriend has no real plans and talks down to her in a very demeaning tone.  And sometimes he does it right in front of us.  He doesn't seem to care what we think.  He has lied to us on many occasions and talked her into moving across the country with him.  I wish I could help us both but I am TOTALLY at a loss.  We have tried to be considerate while standing our ground on what is right but it doesn't seem to matter to her.  She acts like nothing is different or wrong with all this.  I wish somebody could save us from this drowning sink hole we are feeling in our heart.

kteacher2155