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Topic : 02/26 Octuplets' Mom Talks to Dr. Phil, Part 2

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Created on : Monday, February 23, 2009, 07:06:45 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard2

Dr. Phil’s daytime exclusive with Nadya Suleman continues. The unemployed single mother of six who gave birth to octuplets answers the public’s number one question. Plus, Nadya’s mother, Angela, joins the discussion. How does she feel about her daughter’s decisions? Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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February 26, 2009, 6:27 am CST

Octuplets Mom

Hello Dr. Phil,

 

The question I have is where are the pro-choice advocates? Why are they not backing this woman and her choice, is this not what they stand for? The womans right to do what she wants with her reproductive system? Seems to me if she wanted to abort all eight of them  they would be all over it. So where are they?

 

 
February 26, 2009, 6:30 am CST

02/26 Octuplets' Mom Talks to Dr. Phil, Part 2

Quote From: joanncanada

Hello Dr. Phil and message board readers,

First, I congratulate the show for focussing on this topic, as it has worried me from the day I heard about the births and Nadya's dismal family situation.

Second, I would like to make a suggestion for the welfare of the children, particularly the newborns.  As you know, Dr. Phil, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.  Nadya has been unable to properly care for her children financially, not even able to provide adequate housing for them.  Despite all her talk, there is no reasonable expectation that she can care for the newborns.  If she is unable to take care of the family with their current needs, how in the world would she be able to care for future needs including any special needs and their education?  I also have suspicions about her ability to care for their emotional needs when she is apparently detached from reality.

Therefore my suggestion is that if she truly cares for those children, that she gives the newborns up for adoption, possibly in pairs so that they can have an honest chance for survival and a bright future.  There are so many loving couples out there who are eager and ABLE to provide loving homes for children. 

If she does not come to a solution equivalent to this, she is thinking only of her own neurotic needs.

 

Just an idea.  And possibly a prayer that these babies, and of course her previous children will be carried into a much more healthly situation.

 

Thank you again for pursuing this topic,

Jo Ann from Canada

If Nadya refused to dispose of the embryos, how do you expect her to give them up for adoption?  Why are you saying that this is her only option?  She does have loving parents who are willing to help her, the father even stated that on Oprah.  How would you feel if someone told you that you had to give up your children because you have too many now?  If we do this to her, then we have to look at all the multiple birth families out there and start taking theirs too.
 
February 26, 2009, 6:31 am CST

Ms Suleman, 14 kid's and special needs.

Hi Dr Phil;

 

I live in Canada, I am the parent of two special needs children and I know the challenges you face when raising children with mental disorders, my children are 17 and 14 and believe me as trying as it has been getting to this stage and the belief that with age it gets easier, it doesn't... While their hormones are raging so are mine, I'm 47 and I feel the drop in energy, you have given me great tips on managing myself in all of this and the reminder to stop talking, that the kid's get it, stays in my head when things get overwhelming here. My reason for introducing myself as I have done this way is because I do have an understanding of where Ms Suleman's life will go in time.

 

I have been watching this story with amazement as to the judgements that have been past on this woman, you are the only one it seems that can stay on track with what is important, the children. Yes I agree it was wrong to bring more children into what I would call a strained enviroment, and if it's not strained as yet by behavioural issues, it will be as the three special needs children age. My first 8 years were a fulltime job of going from one therapist to another for assessments, speech, occupational and physical therapy, neurology and psychology services, and I only have two with issues. I also had to learn as much as I could about Autism and do behavioural management courses myself, to understand better what I was dealing with. Outside of my own emotional issues, and how negatively a diagnosis such as this effects you deep in your heart, it is like a death, you are burying all the hopes and dreams of what you thought life would be like and you have to find a way to celebrate the small successes or what would be considered, normal growth for a normal child.... At one point I was in such a bad state emotionally, I did grief counselling which helped allot, to move me forward and accept the challenges I had to face.

 

This lady and these children are on one heck of a road, as I watched her talk about this, I see she talks in circles, I question how much she's listening to you, or if you can get her to wake up from what you call the Pollyanna syndrome, you can see the cog wheels moving in her head, she has all the evaisive answers without listening to the questions. Nvertheless, you may never get her to commit to the answer people want to hear, and would an admission be enough to change peoples minds, you may just have to let it go with the hope that in time, she will see what you are saying and if she only ever admits it in her heart that will be enough to take her out of the circular speech and step forward. We have to hope and pray when things get too tough and they will, that she will scream for help and not hide, because of the opinions of others, it's very sad, no matter what way you look at this.

 

I feel very sorry for her she needs to be endearing herself to people, but her defensiveness is putting a wall around her and will keep her from getting what is most needed, stability and help for these children, it's not about her. I fear the more she is attacked the bigger the wall that has to come down, you deal with people and walls all the time. People need to drop the judgements and step into an empathetic more charitable role, stop focusing on "what is" in a negative way and ask only, "what they can do to help the children," to go after the mother in this way will not help, no one has to love her, just forgive the action and move on, what's done is done, it doesn't matter what she was thinking, she obviously wasn't.... 

 

we all need to only see those beautiful children and love them, they are a gift from God, no matter how they came about. I hate the thought that these children will see or know about all this negativity surrounding their entrance into this world, she is their mother and they will love her no matter what. So why is the world puting such a dark cloud around what is supposed to be a gift and the miracle of life, if people don't get on board with the right intentions here, the children will suffer the consequences and I fear Dr Phil with such anger from people, you are swimming up stream, delivering a difficult message to a world that would rather spout judgement, the biblical saying of, "as you try to remove the stick from my eye, take the log from your own eye," I'm not a big bible reader but this keeps popping into my head.

 

Michelle Brandon.

 
February 26, 2009, 6:42 am CST

02/26 Octuplets' Mom Talks to Dr. Phil, Part 2

Quote From: coastiesmith

I totally agree with everything you said, i wrote what i thought as well under Nadya & kids. I also commented on all the stupid things taxes are used to pay like for rebuilding other countries after we go to war with them, who does that?? Good o' USA. So yea lets focus on supporting her. I truly did not even think about this sending her over the edge, God forbid because that would be horrible and so devastating to her children, smarten up all you ppl this is so true!!!
Finally someone gets it!!!   I agree she has made a mistake, but so has everyone else in the world.  I applaud her for being a good mother that she is.  It is obvious that she loves her children and they love her and are healthy and happy.  I agree, my house isn't always spotless and I have three teenagers living here.  We need to get over the shock and help if we can.
 
February 26, 2009, 6:46 am CST

Oct Mom

Please don't send money to this woman.  These children should be placed in other homes.  She's crazy and her mom has done little to impress upon her the responsibilities of raising children.

 

What a shining example of a irresponsible woman and physician!  Who paid for all this IVF?  She's wanting everyone to open their wallets and pay for her irresponsibility and I'm afraid that Dr. Phil will indirectly promote this.   Many married couples who don't have the resources to start or continue IVF would be happy to adopt some of these children.

 
February 26, 2009, 6:48 am CST

Angels in Waiting

I'd like to know why she hasn't accepted the offer that Angels in Waiting made on the Good Morning America show?

 

I will not donate anything unless there is someone to see to it my money is used directly for the children. I wouldn't buy the mom a fresh breath of air, and that's free! She has shown over and over again what comes first......SHE DOES!

 

And why exactly do we need to know about her sex live? Or lack there of? She can be ask questions 24/7, but you know what? She does not have to answer.

 

No matter what, she will be getting my tax dollars. But good lord, don't ask me to fork over even more. All that disability money was spent on herself. Why the heck didn't she use some of that money to keep a roof over her other 6 kids heads?

 

Let me open my purse and see what I have to give?

 

NOT ONE THIN DIME!

 
February 26, 2009, 7:09 am CST

The mom of the babies

I think the mother of the babies and all the other children she has, SHOULD be made to WORK and not rely on other peoples money and support to help her out, I have been married to the same wonderful man for 26 years we both work and have only 3 children (they are all grown) but because we knew how hard and expensive it would be to raiseany more we STOPPED!! This women to me is just using the Dr.Phil show to get all THE HAND OUTS SHE CAN!!!! i understand its the children that will suffer BUT I have a daughter is 23years old, works everyday(been  with the same young man for almost 5 years) they would love children but they ARE NOT in the situtation to have any (the money issue) they are SMART ENOUGH to realize this, AND SO SHOULD SHE!!! Sorry !! of course she will have some of my HARD EARNED money tax wise, But would i donate to her HECK NO!!! after 6 she should have stopped, no husband, no home, no JOB!!!
 
February 26, 2009, 7:16 am CST

Half full, NOT half empty

Too many people are frowning on something that can't be changed irregardless of your opinion.  Not enough people are embracing the real point-the children!!! Dr. Phil is the first I've heard to take the HERO stand on be-half of this family!!!  The people who are being close minded regarding this must live very sheltered. OPEN YOUR EYES IN YOUR OWN BACK YARD!!!! You people need to volunteer more, your local Salvation Army or Red Cross if you don't believe in God or have a church to help at to will show you there are tons of large single parent families with not much means to provide for their children!! (In my area I see families with dead beat parents of both sexes, and more commonly military mothers with 6 or more kids needing support, and more recently families of all sizes who have lost their homes to forclosure) I happen to personally  know first and foremost through being a child raised in foster care-these children  or Nadia's would not be better off taken from their mother so all of you saying such things-STOP. Maybe you could crusade for Foster Care-something your voice could change!!!  The problem here is not Nadia's decision, but the lack of compassion or embracing between women in our generation.  Get over it people!!!
 
February 26, 2009, 7:27 am CST

This woman is crazy

The more I hear Nadia speak the more apparent it is that she is out of touch with reality. What really makes mad though is that everytime I turn on the TV there she is. Shouldn't she be spending time with her kids? I haven"tmI don't think I have heard her talk about anything except the babies-What about the kids at home. Who is taking care of them? I feel bad for Nadia's mom. I think she is the primary caretaker of the kids and she is clearly overwhelmed. I would support Nadia's mother before I would support Nadia!
 
 
February 26, 2009, 7:29 am CST

OctoMom wants a Master's Degree?????

I want a villa on the Rivera.  I bet I'll get mine before she gets here advanced degree.  Anyway, anyone that thinks that her uterus is a clown car has not one chance of keeping or raising her 14 children.  Let me get this right . . . She has 14 children, ten of them are in diapers, 13 of them do not go to school yet, at least three of her "older" children have medical or mental chalenges, she lives in a three bedroom home with her Mom who is a senior citizen, she has no job, no money, no grasp on reality and she smiles and says that she "loves" her children.

 

There isn't a professional dog breeder in the United States that would allow her to adopt a puppy.  What happened for the past seven months that the

california Social Services hasn't visited her "home" and realized that 14 children and a senior citizen cannot be acceptable for a "Plan of Action" for these children.  Does she have 16 car seats?  Does she have a yellow school bus?  How about feeding schedule with food, medication, diapers, clothes, on and on and on.  She needs a motel and a laundrymat.  I want to know what social services is going to do about this woman.  Don't they have a clue that this woman is a danger to herself and her children?

 

I won't give one single dollar to any organization that helps this woman because nobody can guarentee that the money will go to the welfare of the children.  The State of California need to foster out this preemies so that they can be nurtured 24/7.  Good luck with trying to get past that selfish woman ego that this is not about her, it's about 14 helpless children.

 
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