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Topic : 08/26 How to Have More Sex, Less Fighting

Number of Replies: 107
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, February 27, 2009, 02:12:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/03/09) Send the kids out of the room because Dr. Phil is talking about sex! Was the passion off the charts when you first started dating your spouse, but now your bedroom is a dead zone? If so, it’s time to resuscitate your relationship! With the help of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, host of TLC’s Shalom in the Home and author of the book, The Kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life, Dr. Phil speaks with couples who say they’ve lost their libidos and want to bring back the magic. First up is Joy and Mark who say they haven’t had sex in almost four years. In fact, Joy says the last great sex she had was in 1988! Find out why Mark is terrified to make love to his wife. And, Kim and Adam have been married only four months and say they fight more than they have sex. How can they enjoy the honeymoon phase when they go to bed mad at each other? Plus, don’t miss the top five reasons you should have sex! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 26, 2009, 6:43 pm CDT

So Close To Home

Wow, this hit very close to home.  My hubby wouldn't even sit down to watch.  " Oh, this why it was so important to set the DVR."  That was my hubby's reaction when I watched the recorded show at 8 tonight.  He's the one that needs to watch!!!!!!!  I need help.  He saw the first minute and left the room.  He has so many excuses, I could right a book.  The weather, the work stress, the 5 old son, and the list goes on for pages.  Newest one, "The riding season is almost over."  He has had a motorcycle for a year and even though he is soooooo tired to spend time with me, he hops on the bike all the time.  We have been married for 8 years, and the last several have been what is considered "Sex Less".  If I don't get my hubby plugged in soon, the electric is going to be shut off. 
 
August 26, 2009, 7:22 pm CDT

After the show

My husband and I are having many problems all at once right now. I have been tring to get sex for two months and have been turned. We have a very sick child who recentlt broke his jaw. i am not a good house cleaner. I am up a lot at night with our youngest of three children. So my husband who recently saw a picture of me from 23 years ago sid i wish ur waist was that small again and i informed him I was bulimic and he said well to bad u cant so that again. He says he was joking and i took it wrong. So this morning he says to watch Dr. phill it might help us today it might help us. Well i recorded it and it was right on, but after the show my husband turned to me and said i think u need hormone replacement. I had a hysterectomy and still have one ovary and get my hormone levels checked every year. So how in the world did he get that from watching the show (oh ya right after that he went fishing with his best freind  for the third or fourth time this week)
 
August 26, 2009, 8:13 pm CDT

Why Some Men Give UP!........Not addressed on show

At first like most it was fine if not great.... Now all I do is reflect back when I asked and asked and the replies were I'm tired, I have to get up early, I don't feel well, I have a headache.  I got tired of the excuses.  As a Man I gave up.  Maybe it was revenge to tell her No so many times but now It doesn't seem right or I want more than just a 10 min romp in the sack.  I want something new but afraid of asking.  I think I asked too much before with too much rejection that  now I just give in twice a month just not to be a punk knowing it'll be the same ole same ole.
 
August 26, 2009, 8:29 pm CDT

Don't be like me!

Quote From: taiboo

It is me that is always tired.  I am a mother of 2 and i look at my husband and say eh...I just don't want too.  I love him dearly, I think about him constantly, but I am severely lacking in the emotional/physical department,...He complains to me about me not touching him etc.  And I just roll over and ignore it.  I know it is wrong, I feel like the guy and I tell  him to stop being such a drama girl.  I barely even hold hands anymore....Do i want to??? absolutely i do, He is the love of my life, i love him, never want to be without him...just that there is no spark what so ever. :-( and it is my fault.  I take the blame...saying that I should force myself to wake up and make myself do it, is way easier said than done... I simply just can't...no idea why...like a huge block. I don't know what to do about it.
As a man I feel for your situation.  Maybe my wife was just like you.  Two kids and truly tired.  But after many excuses I abandoned  her after so many rejections.  I sincerely hope you can fix or rectify your situation be for it becomes like mine which if I'm right is the other way around now.  I started to refuse her offers just out of spite and now it's strictly platonic. Too Long Too Many Years.....Wasted  still trying to figure out what I should do.
 
August 27, 2009, 6:28 am CDT

You missed it!

Dr. Phil, you were right on 4 of the 5 reasons to have more sex.  But, when 80% of the women are having sex with men fantasizing about having sex with someone else, how is that supposed to make us feel more attractive????  It makes me feel like I'm a legal outlet for his passion.  He can have mental affairs without having physical affairs, too.  Yeah, that makes me feel attractive! :-(  And don't suggest that I try being more seductive.  I've been down that road.  It just makes him look at other women more.  I can't win. I just push it to the back of my mind and focus on satisfying him, hoping he won't take the next step to a physical affair.

 
August 28, 2009, 7:47 am CDT

Married and wondering why the sex stoped!

Thanks for this great show. My husband and I have been married for seventeen years and have four daughters between the ages of two years to thirteen years. After our second child was born in 1999, our sex life pretty much stopped. We do still have sex, because we had two more children. After begining with my husband for twentytwo years and making love with only him for that amount of time. I could just scream!!!! What will it take to get him passionate and interested in me and having a good healthy sex life again?? I get so upset with this area of our marriage. He is fourty years old and I am thirtyseven. I can't believe that we are dealing with an issue that should make both of us less stressed out and happy.

Thanks for the show. It helped me to see that I am not the only wife wondering why in the hell my husband is not under the sheets with me!! I hope that my husband and I can relite the passion we once had for eachother.

 
August 28, 2009, 10:06 am CDT

Excuses, excuses!

I watched this show on my DVR last night and it sooo hit home!  I was in the process of getting divorced when I met this wonderful man online. He was living in Canada at the time and after about a year of talking online, emails, phone calls... he decided to move here.  If anyone here has been in a long distance relationship you know how it goes, at some point we started having kind of naughty phone conversations and it seemed like once he was here we would have this great relationship and we would also have a great sex life.  It's been just over a year since he moved here.  We do still have a great relationship but the sex is pretty much gone, and has been for a while.  We are both very much in love with each other but he is just not an affectionate person, and I completely am.  Watching this show last night I could completely relate to the first couple, except at least they sleep in the same bed!  Yes, he sleeps in the extra bedroom down the hall.  He says my bed is too soft and wakes up sore.  Our tight financial situation at the moment does not leave any extra money for a much needed new bed, but even if we did have a new bed I'd be curious to see if he would find some other excuse to sleep in the other room.  He is 10 years older than me, I'm 34 and he's 44.  I'm at the point in my life where I would like more sex and he really wants nothing to do with it.  I could live with that really, if he would just do more than give me a peck in the morning and one again at bed.  Even holding hands, he never reaches for mine, I always have to reach for his.  I don't really think I'm asking for much.  I've had this conversation with him so many times, and nothing changes.  I feel like it's pointless to keep talking about this.  He's "tired".  He does work a 50 hour work week, where I work closer to 30, but the time I'm not working is spent running my kids here and there, to school and school events and appointments, and so on.  I get up at 5:30 am to take him to work, we only have one car, come home and get my kids up to get ready for school, take them to their 2 different schools, then I go work out, then off to work for me, I'm lucky if I can get in a shower, then it's time to pick everyone up, which is about a 2 hour process given the different times everyone is done with school/work, somewhere in there I usually run to the store and then come home after and make dinner, get everyone set for the night, help with homework if needed, and then usually go back to work for a bit (I work from home), then it's off to bed and up to do it all over again on about 5-6 hours of sleep if I'm lucky.  So I have a hard time with him being "tired".  Or he's "sore".  I've had nerve damage in my back/leg for 8 years now but I deal with it and go on, so I know what sore is all about but I don't let it stop me.  I guess my point is, if he woke me up after 2 hours of sleep and said I want you right now I'd be more than happy to go on 2 hours of sleep so that I could have that intimate moment with him.  I just don't get it!  Is this my payback for making excuses to my ex all the time?!?  Now I know how it feels I guess!  I've said that all I really need is 10 minutes, just give me 10 minutes, kiss me like you mean it, hold me, just 10 minutes and I would be so much happier.  I need that to feel like a woman, I need that to feel sexy, I need that to be happy but he just won't do it.  I've said this several times and he doesn't put in any effort to make a change.  He says I don't want you to ever forget how much I love you and how glad I am that I found you, and he says I don't think you even realize how much I really truly love you.  I don't understand how he can be so in love with my but not show it.  I mean you really can't just make 10 minutes to show me how much you love me?  Us women need to feel it, I hate to say it's not enough to just hear the words but really it's not.  After a while it becomes just that, just words.  If we don't have any passion in our lives then what's the point, you know what I mean?  His best friend, who is the same age as me, was just diagnosed with cancer.  If I take any lesson away from that it's that you don't know what tomorrow will bring.  You can't take for granted that tomorrow will be the same as today.  So make sure that you make the time to show those close to you how much you love them.  If, God forbid, I was killed in a car accident tomorrow would he regret not taking that 10 minutes to show me how much he loves me today?  Alright, I really just needed to get this off my chest, this is like a mile long now so I think you get the idea.  Thanks for listening.  Back to work for me...
 
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