Topic : 07/13 Affairs of the Heart

Did someone say you cannot have friends of the opposite sex? Sure you can!

The key thing in your situation is it is all up front. There is total and complete transparency. Plus I'm guessing that you do not have a history of being unfaithful.

I find both of them rather pathetic but for different reasons.

It's downright sickening to see people, be they men or women, put up with such shabby treatment from their spouses, isn't it? They're afraid of taking up for themselves for fear of "losing" what? Nothing worth a flip, if you ask me.

This guy doesn't trust his wife. He has serious doubts about his wife's devotion to him. So he hangs on, and hangs on, skulking around, spying on her. He's just pathetic! A nutless wonder. If he had a pair, he would CUT HER LOOSE!! I just can't see how a real man would want a woman who doesn't want him. The only thing I can think is that he is so insecure, so WEAK, that he feels he has to assert his POSSESSION of his wife. She's not a person, she's TERRITORY, the rights to which he feels he must protect and guard, not for HER sake, but for the sake of whatever debased currency passes for his self-respect.

Eighteen years ago, my first wife started an affair with a co-worker, another woman. When I found out about it, I told her to make up her mind. She told me that she wanted to continue seeing this woman, but didn't see why our marriage should have to end. I told her that she could not play for both teams at once. She had to choose or I would choose for her. We divorced and she remains with her lesbian lover to this day. I took lots of criticism from both sides of our family because I didn't "fight" to keep her. My position was - and still is - that while I loved my wife and it hurt terribly to lose her, a marriage license is not a deed; she was not my property. I didn't think any good could come from trying to hold on to someone who wanted to be somewhere else. It's just that simple.

As for his wife, I think she's just MEAN. SHE gets off on all this drama. Her behavior is driving him NUTS and she is just LOVING it! She's just LOVING how she can go around and "make friends" with all these other men; it makes her feel more sexy and desirable. And her husband going looney tunes over her behavior ALSO feeds right into her feelings of increased desirability, giving her MORE motivation to keep up and further expand her "social activities" with the opposite gender.

She has started a runaway positive feedback loop for her ego and she's got her idiot husband helping her with it, with him nipping at her ankles like a bug-eyed, quivering, yappy chihuahua!

Bottom line is, she is a self-absorbed, manipulative little ice princess who has the great fortune to be married to a damned fool.