I join the discussion as it seems to me I meet far too often men who are conflicted. What bothers me in these conversations is how "sad" it is for the partner, how helpless we feel, to do a thing. There is often a suffering individual inside who needs help and our hands are tied to broach the subject much less force them to get the help they genuinely need. I just broke off with yet another gentleman who just doesn't get it, his part in his many divorces, his behaviors and dysfunctional thinking at all. Nor the affects of his drinking as not so bad, "I'm okay as functional drinker" only they say. Generally always in denial (usually men) of their attitudes and behaviors, all they know from childhood environment. Point is, left out of the conversation on behalf of the nature of some women -- we are nurturing. Do tend to try to fix things, too we tend to internalize our part in it, feel sad, and do often try to make things work out! We are the ones who kiss the boo-boo! What we fail to recognize is that we can not kiss and make this boo-boo better! Often too we go to denial as are hopeful things will change. Even when we recognize they won't after a time, there is always hope! An answer to our prayers, we'll wait for. I did just that during my entire childhood, hoping mommy and daddy would stop fighting as had no choice. We are conditioned, some of us. Since I've met and broken off friendships with so many of these conflicted men, I myself have lost hope of ever meeting someone who has his proverbial "s..t" together. I studied psychology in college and have devoted much of my free time throughout my life in studies -- psycology, philosophy, sociology; read self-help, about alcoholism, neurosis and what have you. Because of that I'll think I understand the issues at hand and believe I can help this man, woman or child. Constantly have to remind myself I can't! I have used tough love, dumped them, sent them to jail, yet often little changes. Perhpas only an apology forthcoming, and something. Sad truth of it!? Generally can't get through to them. They may only learn by the consequences, a jail sentence, sad truth of it! Also I have encuntered more hostility and wrath in the workplace of late. With that, what is it we can do when dealing with folks who are abusing us verbally, emotionally? I think it is too bad that the shows do not reach the people who need to see themselves for who they are as at work during the broadcast or perhaps they'd never watch to begin with. Because of that, how can we reach these people in dire need of help? - if we have to cope with them. Too, it takes a while to learn of their abusive nature. How can we detect it from the get go? - if at all. Thank you for hearing me out!
(Original Air Date: 03/12/09) Dr. Phil issues a strong warning to abusers: “If you're going to try to sell to me that it's OK to hit a woman, you need to circle the wagons, because I’m coming!” Vicki says her ex-husband, Ernie, was loving and charming when they first met, but he soon went from “Mr. Perfect to Mr. Psycho” and got physical with her twice. Ernie went to jail for beating Vicki, but he says he’s rehabilitated and wants a second chance. Should Vicki take him back or kick him to the curb for good? Then, fans were shocked and outraged when photos of a bruised and battered Rihanna surfaced, and her then-boyfriend, R&B singer Chris was accused of the assault. Dr. Phil reflects on meeting the young man. And, find out why a criminal defense lawyer says Brown should not do jail time. Tell us what you think!
