Topic : 08/28 Love and Lies

According to the alleged new police report released, allegedly Rhianna, by her own account, physically abused Chris Brown while he was driving on the road after seeing a text message sent to Chris from a former girlfriend. She then allegedly violently hit him with her hands and a shoe. Then allegedly Chris brown pushed her away from the steering wheel up against the passenger window causing damage on her forehead and then when she went back to attack him, he put her in a headlock causing brusing on her neck while he pulled over the vehicle. If this new police report is correct, then Rhianna not only endangered her life, but his and other drivers and pedestrians on the road. Rhianna's alleged actions are the actions of a domestic abuser.

After Chris allegedly pulled over the car according to the new alleged police report, Rhianna took his keys and sat on them. Which allegedly angered Chris even further. Chris then allegedly and violently punched her in the face which caused an injury to her lip. This last alleged action by Chris Brown is the action of a retaliatory domestic abuser; which is also unacceptable.

And, finally according to this new alleged poilce report, Rhianna said she has hit Chris before, but this is the first time that he has physically hit her back. Also, I have been unable to see any pictures of what Chris looked like after the incident.

After reading about this alleged new report, I think we should all take a step back from demonizing Chris, who is only 19 years old, and putting Rhianna, who is only 21, up as a poster child for abused victims, and wait until the truth is revealed. Nobody knows what really happened and the only person who seems to be handling this correctly in the media seems to be Sean Combs. We should probably follow his lead.

A couple I know had gotten in an argument. The wife and her oldest daughter hit the man. He called the police to make a report of the situation and he was the one to go to jail. They didn't have a mark on them and his shirt was torn and had scratch marks all over him. In Louisiana they said someone has to go to jail and since she knew the officers, he went.

first let me start by saying that i have NEVER hit a woman, and never would hit a woman. its my personal belief, and just they way i was raised....... i can hardly even imagine doing it. however, that doesn't mean it's logical.

Dr. Phil, i just don't understand how you can logicaly say you believe in the equality of men and women, then say it's NEVER ok to hit one. how is that equal??

i'm sick and tired of women screaming for equality, but they only want to take the GOOD things about being equal, none of the bad. they are picking and choosing what aspects of equality they want......thats not equal!

some examples:

it seems to not be a huge deal if a woman hits a man, but vice/versa and its horrible.

men are always expected to pay on dates and such

if you are on a sinking ship, the old motto is "woman and children first". if men and woman are equal, then why isn't the motto "children first, men/woman first come first serve?"

if a woman commits the same crime a man does, they (quite often) get a lesser punishment.

if a woman tells a guy she like his hair (in the workplace) it's a compliment. vice/versa and it could  turn into a sextual harrasment suit.

i have absolutly NO problem with womens rights, and women wanting to be equal with men.

however, ladies......you gotta take the good with the bad.

if you think you are equal on all levels with men, then whats the big deal if a guy hits ya?? guys hit other guys all the time (even guys much weaker than them) but nobody makes a fuss.

women, stop being so hypocritical. if you believe in equality between men and women, then don't wine and pull the "but i'm a girl" card if ya get hit.

first off let me start by saying i can very much relate to this.

my ex was abusive in all forms. but i still went back to him. he went as far as loading a gun and pting it and telling me if i left him he had nothing that was back in 2002 and i didnt end up leaving him until 2005. what finally was the last straw was when he raped me and i became pregnant with my second son and he tryed hitting me and then he tryed the scare tracticed of i want a divorce.  my parents raised me to believe men should never hit a woman, was that was i was stupid to think that would protect me??? i use to think i deserved it. but now i still don't know what to think. and its been that long. my parents and everyone else figured out what he was like why didnt i???? my parents finally had there last straw when i went back to him the first time and left me while i was pg and had my 1st child in a resterant parking lot.  my mother in law came and got me.  its been since 2005 since i have last seen my ex and still to this day i am puzzled, and i am still scared of ambulances cuase his mom use to or still does work  as a emt  (the whole family is violate)and i am still scared of him. becuase of me staying with him my 1st born son i believe this is the cuase of his speech/behavior  problem and my second son has unfortately gotton his ADHD and anger, which really scares me cuase i dont want him to grow up to be like his real daddy.

if it werent for my kids i probably would still be with him.  its becuase of my kids that i draw my strength.

Sarah

gf,mt

Being a survior of 6 years of extreme domestic violence and in additiion, raped at the ages of 13 and 24, my motto has alwasys been:

                                        MEN and/or WOMEN WHO KNOWINGLY ACCUSE an INNOCENT MAN or WOMAN                                                                           of A VIOLENT ACT

                                                     DEGRADES EVERYONE OF US WHO HAVE BEEN.

Boy, you just touched a nerve.

Although I wholeheartedly condone the show on domestic violence, I have to disagree with the message.  I absolutely do NOT agree with Dr. Phil saying that those that are abused have a damaged personal truth.  Also when Dr. Phil said that we generate the results we think we deserve is completely incorrect.  As a survivor of domestic violence, I have been astonished by the many misconceptions still running rampant.  Unfortunately all too often, an abuse victim hears that it is always their fault.  Dr. Phil's message on the show concurs this.  I would love to see him address the fact that many abusers have sociopathic tendencies.  How in the world is a victim supposed to handle someone of this nature? 

The show just confirmed my reasoning for writing about domestic violence.  I have already written a book, Bound by Hatred, about being in an abusive relationship but I felt even more compelled to write about the aftermath.  Leaving is not an end all and reform is crucial.  Unfortunately, there are often children involved and this causes serious problems in a victim being able to move on.  The children are often used as a power play by the abuser.  Therefore I am currently writing a sequel to address this very issue.  When will there ever be a show specifically addressing abusers and why they do what they do?? 

I do applaud the attention Dr. Phil has given to domestic violence but I would like to see the appropriate message communicated.  Thank you.