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Topic : 03/18 Young Wives at a Turning Point, Part 2

Number of Replies: 20
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 13, 2009, 02:54:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with three young couples who struggle to stay together. Because they all have children stuck in the middle of their battles, Dr. Phil wants to give them a complete relationship overhaul, so he sends them to The Dr. Phil House for three days. The women in these unions are all under the age of 23, and they all blame the men for their relationship troubles. The men say every story has two sides. With issues such as lying, addiction, domestic violence and infidelity, can these couples in crisis stop pointing fingers and learn healthy ways to communicate and heal their relationships? Because the pairs are so used to fighting each other, Dr. Phil mixes up the couples and has them sit down with a new partner to gain a new perspective. You won’t believe the outcome of this simple exercise! Will they listen to Dr. Phil’s reality check? If you feel that divorce is your only option, follow along with this series and pick up the tools to fix your own relationship. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 13, 2009, 3:38 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Club Doctor Part Phil/Robin Two Wives Young. Well Well Well here we go again. Another round of Club-----

Wives Young. I like the Idea of having Club Wives Young. See you on march WednesdaY 18th, 2009.--------

Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
March 18, 2009, 8:39 am CDT

Very concerned regarding the violence.

I watched the first part of the Young Wives Club and I was shocked to see how the wives' violence against their husbands was accepted by the audience in a light-hearted manner.  This was unjustifiably contradictory to how we treat men who are violent against women.  I understand that Dr. Phil found the wives violence to be unacceptable but I do not understand what was so funny about it. 

 

The young woman who has choked her husband to the point of his passing out  reflects that she is dangerous to him and to her children.  That kind of anger and aggression should not be tolerated to any extent and if it were vice versa we would be screaming for charges to be pressed.  We should demand the same standard against this woman and other violent women.

 

I know that the husbands have all had their own problems in the relationships and are responsible for their actions, but no matter their actions, they do not deserve to be physically and verbally abused and otherwise mistreated.

 

I hope that all of these women understand that physical abuse against their husbands is not cute, it is dangerous not only to their husbands but to their children.

 

I wish all of these couples the best of luck in developing loving, enriching and fulfilling relationships that will help each person in their family to thrive.  Meanwhile, I hope that the wives understand the gravity of the consequences for their rash violence. 

 

 
March 18, 2009, 9:29 am CDT

Been There Done That!

I have been Divorced now for 2 years and am now greatful that my X finally left me! Had he not, I would still be in the same mess everyone of those couples are in. I too tried too make it work for the kids sake, Believe me, the kids are better off without seeing and experiencing all that drama. My 12 year old son is now causing so much trouble at school I am getting him help with a therapist and so far it all stems back too the DRAMA witnessed by him between me and his Father! The kids are the ones that are suffering wether all of the couples see it or not, I only wish I had gotten out sooner.....now that I see the damage done to my son! Get it together or get out!
 
March 18, 2009, 12:52 pm CDT

Questions Answered

With my first marriage, I was also a young wife.  I was a strong, happy, confident college student with a lot of dreams and goals ahead of me.  When I met him, he swept me off my feet...totally Prince Charming.  We dated for quite sometime and decided to get married. 

 

After that, things did a complete 180.  We began to argue...a lot.  Mostly about his lack of enthusiam to do anything...he was lazy.  Things went from bad to worse when he developed a "friendly" relationship with a co-worker.  I dropped out of school so I could work while he went to school.  According to him every problem stemmed from my anger and jealousy.  He picked and teased to envoke arguements When the fighting became physical, I had to get out of there.  The relationship ended with me feeling insecure, depressed, and bitter.  Anyone who knew me before wouldn't recognize me.

 

I sometimes wondered if I made the right choice by leaving.  After watching this show, I know now that I did.  I hate that I was forced to become someone so angry and ugly. 

 

I am now married to a wonderful man who boosts me up everyday.  There is so much better for these people out there.  I think they are just scared to find it.

 
March 18, 2009, 12:57 pm CDT

Understand but scared

I have to say as I have been watching this show I can relate. I am 26 years old and I find myself relating to these couples.  I come a background where my father complete controlled my mother it was always her fault and she always left the argument being wrong, verbally abused, and sometimes even physically abused. As I grew up and see this I always told myself that  I would never allow someone to railroad me that way especially a man. I also swore that I would never get married b/c it always ends bad and I would never have children because of what I grew up in.  I did marry a great man! But now I have been married for going 4 years and I have a little girl. Now due to financial stress we fight constantly. I get so frustrated so many times I yell, I get loud, and say things just to hurt my husband.(Get them before they get me) I try to not due these thing in front of my little girl but sometimes when I am trying my husband will poke at me to try to start an argument. In an argument I will not allow someone to make me feel that  my feelings are invalid the way my father did to my mom and I will fight to end for that reason. But to make it short. I can relate to the young wives club. I do not want my daughter to see the fighting that I saw growing up. I need to learn that I am not always right and my husband it not like my dad and I need not put him on that same level. Thanks for the show it really makes me evaluate my wrongs!
 
March 18, 2009, 1:50 pm CDT

Be fair

Dr. Phil- You have the nerve to tell that girl she shouldn't speak to her husband in that manner yet you fail to mention the fact that he has had affairs with three different girls and that may be the cause of her anger!
 
March 18, 2009, 2:20 pm CDT

I see some of who I used to be..

With these couples with the anger and the talking and not listening. I feel alot of what is going on has a huge amount on age and maturity.

I am divorced, I was married at 20, had 2 kids at the age of 23.

We didn't listen to each other. We didn't go to counseling. We fell apart.

We now have been divorced for alomost 10 years. I have had a few relationships, being engaged for 4+ years and never wanting to set a date. That relationship did not last. My self esteem was shot after 12 years of marriage, the feeling of being thrown out with the Garbage out of the blue.

Looking back I can see now (especially in pictures) that neither of us were happy and I am not sure we even knew why. Without help how can you know?

I am in a relationship, I am alot older now and my boyfriend who is older than I don't yell or fight like in my past. We don't fight at all. I myself step back, think about things and pick a right time to talk about how I feel about what is happening. I figured out that accusing or yelling doesn't get you anywhere positive. If I talk about how I feel, then we have a conversation about it instead of a conflict.

My boyfriend knows about my past and the things that affected me in a negative way. I do not use those past experiences to benefit me in our discussions. Every person and every relationship is different, I keep that in mind and remember why I was drawn to him in the beginning.

Although nobody or relationship is perfect, I see that I have learned from my past and changed in a positive way. I think before I say anything, if I am irritated or angry, Try to decide if I am really upset with whats going on or is it just residual effects from my day or his. Let it go and we get back to it later...... Most of the time after time has passed I realize how stupid being upset was for something so dumb!!!!

I think the bottom line is I just grew up and met a man that is a grown up too.

It helps that we both failed before and neither want to fail in a relationship again.

Someday we may get married but there are no plans in the near future, This keeps us trying harder because we know it would be too easy to walk away. Sounds strange but it works for us.

Good Luck to these couples. I know  they will understand more with Dr Phil in their lives.

 

 
March 18, 2009, 2:22 pm CDT

03/18 The Dr. Phil House: Young Wives Club, Part 2

I think these couples has some serious  growing up to do.
They are children raising children. You Never talk about or even think killing your spouse 
I don't even think Dr. Phil can help couples.
I think the best thing for them to do is to go there  separate ways
and get out with their lives
 If you love someone & have respect for that person
you don't raise  a hand to them or call them at inappropriate names.  There is an old saying
you treat others the way you want to be treated.  I've been married for 14 years
my husband and I have never raised our hands to each other .
We have never called each other inappropriate names .
  These couples have some serious thinking to do about their futures.
 
March 18, 2009, 2:48 pm CDT

03/18 The Dr. Phil House: Young Wives Club, Part 2

i have been in a situation like this and it isn't pleasant in no way.. but i think the women should stop yelling for 5 minutes and let there husbands talk.. for cryin out loud i had to press mute on the remote a couple of time just so i had peace and quiet from them.. to much drama there, live the peaceful life its much healthier...
 
March 18, 2009, 3:04 pm CDT

young wives club

 These kids are very imature. I don't think any of them should of gotten married so young.It sounds to me that all of them are out for themselves and not thinking of each others feelings,When your married you share with each other.Life is about being happy and making sure the people around you are happy to.I guess I should know I sometimes wonder about my own marriage. But I do know that we don't fight,I hate fighting.So if he wants to argue fine by me, your just doing it by yourself.I just agree with everything he says to avoid conflict.So fighting doesn't matter.I have also been married before and had a wife beater.So I know all about that one to.But I feel those kids need help and quit having the kids involved. they are just to young.
 
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