Ive been in several relationships. Im on my third marriage. Ive traveled most of the states working. Ive lived in many places and met thousands of people. But I have never met a person so delusional as Monica. She is a bright girl but her thought process is so egotistical that it refuses to see any other perspective.
She is gonna live a very painful life. She is going to alienate herself even from her children. Her ego is so in control of her mind that she doesnt see the toxicity of what she is doing. What she really needs is for Cadum to get a job, save some money, get a lawyer, get the kids and leave.
She is so delusional, she cant even keep the facts straight. She will not admit to being human. EVEN Jesus made mistakes. Even he had times of egoic thought that he battled with.
I fear sex is the only thing holding Cadum in the relationship. People get hooked with good sex and substitute it for love and affection.
Her eyebrows going up when Cadum spoke during the ONE on ONE. Tells me she didnt want to hear it. and in her mind started the ego process of saying "What? Why are you attacking me?" Everything that is said is taken as an insult. She can not take any constructive critisism not even from a professional.
I was in the military. NOT a good place for a relationship to flourish. Moving and being away for long periods of time can be stressful. These people dont make much money either and that adds to the stress of paying bills. Cheating in the military is a problem too. Guys and gals alike are running around like rabbits in heat. With a few exceptions I have seen most married people in the military having affairs. I wouldnt be suprised if she was cheating on him.
In the same breath Cadum must get a job period. Even if part time or as a box boy. Man up son. I have found that more problems and stress stem from money. Bills not getting paid and losing credit means it could be alot tougher for you in the next duty station or home you move to.
I see more and more rage and bad behavior in young ladies. Women used to be able to control their men with seduction. Acting nice and friendly, talking sexy and asking with a sweet voice. I tell you I certainly respond well to that. And dont take offense if they dont respond immediately ladies, guys tend to focus on the task at hand and forget about other tasks in the mean time. Just ask again until mission accomplished.
I know video games, TV and computers can be a big distraction. Limit the time on them if they arent easily put down.
If the guys dont want to work, sell the computer, games, even TV if you have to to pay bills. This will let them know that we lose stuff if bills arent paid. If they like staying home get em a work from home job. Even a little income is better then none. The guys will feel better about themselves too when they feel like they are contributing.
Most of all for Monica, SHUT UP!!! Dr. Phil asks Cadum a question, he begins to answer and she immediately jumps in to say he is lying. How can he fix him if he cant even talk to him. She act like a four year old arguing about who got more kool aid in their glass. If I were there I would just slap the stupid out of her. Most of the time behavior like this stems from the parents and how they dealt with her tantrums.
I really think what happens is Cadum makes a good point in their arguments and she has learned to shut him down before that happens. She just wants to be right and gets frustrated when she cant express what she really wants to say. She doesnt understand that to control someone effectively, you must first be in control of your emotions, which she clearly is not.
Fixing Cadum is the easy part, fixing her is gonna be a challenge. At least the other two ladies will listen to reason and are truly interested in getting right. Monica is only concerned with being right. ALL the guys seem to be nice young men that just need a little tweeking. Good Luck to you all. I thank the great creator often for not letting children happen on my first two marriages. I am so blessed with the two miracles in my life. My wife is somewhat down to earth and loves me for the man i am. And I have worked my way into working for myself. I get to spend alot of time with them all. My dream came true after 30 years of hell.
Monica please for your sake stop playing the blame game. Let go. Move forward. Those who place blame are usually the problem. Look at it this way. Cadum is probably blaming you for the way he acts, You are blaming him for the way you act. The circle doesnt stop if you BOTH dont stop. When you come home stop being the drill sargeant. It is time to be a wife and a mother.
But if you dont shut up the Doc cant get to the bottom of things. The best way to flush out a liar dear is to let them speak.
Three young couples struggle to deal with issues such as trust, domestic violence and infidelity. Dr. Phil moves them all into The Dr. Phil House for a three-day relationship overhaul, but their fighting and finger-pointing make him wonder if they’re serious about wanting to fix their relationships. With Dr. Phil’s help, one wife-to-be learns that a traumatic event in her childhood may influence her to this day, one fiancé faces reality and says he accepts that he’s an alcoholic, and another couple looks inside their relationship and finds a simmering pool of resentments toward each other. What these couples learn about holding themselves to a higher standard is a powerful lesson for any marriage. But can they quash their marital battles for the sake of their children? Then one couple’s argument divides the whole house. See where the battle lines are drawn. Plus, a powerful exercise forces the pairs to communicate in a healthy and productive manner -- could the same exercise work for you? Join the discussion.
