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Topic : 08/12 How to Talk to Your Kids about Money

Number of Replies: 43
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Created on : Friday, March 20, 2009, 12:11:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/27/09) The current economic crisis has everyone on edge. It’s more important than ever to talk to your kids about money, and today, Dr. Phil gives you the tools you need to have that conversation. His first guests, Lora and Kris, say they want help because their 15-year-old daughter, Katy, loves to shop –- with their money –- and she doesn’t take care of the items she buys. She’s already on her second iPhone, second iPod and third laptop! Katy admits she’s a little spoiled but says every teenager wants nice things. Lora and Kris admit they have a hard time telling their daughter no. How will Katy do when asked to balance the family budget? Then, Dr. Phil leads a roundtable discussion about money with a group of fourth and fifth graders. Find out their reactions when they learn how many bags of groceries you could buy with the amount of money it costs for an iPod. Plus, financial expert Susan Beacham shares the dos and don’ts for teaching kids about money. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 27, 2009, 9:12 am CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: cmdirks

I have three young children, aged 6 and younger.  I don't know what it may be like with having a teenager yet.  Maybe it will get harder as they get older.  But for now?  It is the easiest thing for me to tell them no.  Of course, they want every toy they see and we all know that's impractical.  We all say no to the young'uns.  But even with saying "Hey, we want McDonald's tonight,"  we still have to say no sometimes.  Even though they are so young, I still have a very simple explanation.  We can't afford to spend the money right now.  Daddy works and gets paid to work.  He only gets so much.  Right now we have to pay the phone bill and the light bill and we can't spend $30 on fast food tonight.  They may not fully understand all the ins and outs of it, but they accept it.  What we hope is that they continue to accept this as they grow. 

 

And feeling guilty for it helps no one.  I guess I just don't understand the mind frame of someone who would feel guilty for not spoiling their kids and so they DO spoil them.  Maybe that was one of the things I learned from my parents.  They did not teach me ONE THING about money growing up, but they sure did teach me that saying no is a part of life. 

 

If nothing else, I do hope these families learn that much.  Saying no is so easy. 

I so totally agree!  I'm so sick of these clueless parents whining about how their kids are "so spoiled"...well how do you think they got that way??

 

I raised three kids all alone, with NO child support,  and worked three jobs at a time to put a roof over their heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs. The way I figured it, they were lucky to get that.

We had nice Christmases, they had wonderful birthdays, and there were a few extras along the way, but they learned early that there would be no spoiling. If they wanted extra money, they worked for it. My son (who now owns his own successful contracting business) started working at age 9 shoveling snow, raking leaves, mowing lawns, and at age 14 he lied about his age to get a job washing dishes in a neighborhood Chinese restaurant. My two girls babysat for extra money, and got jobs as soon as they were able.

It didn't hurt them one bit to work for what they wanted! In fact, I truly believe that the greatest gift you can give your children is the gift of independence.....teaching them how money works and that the world does NOT owe them a living, gives them that gift.

 

By the way, the absolute best  Christmas we ever had was the year that we all made each other's gifts...no store bought gifts were allowed. It taught them so many lessons....and that was the purpose.

At the time, they were all in elementary and high school. My son made me a beautiful coffee table in woodshop, my oldest daughter made me a gorgeous cutting board, also in woodshop, and my youngest daughter made a batik window cover in art class that I use every year at Christmas...and I still have and use all of those things.  I made their gifts as well...and everyone loved everything.

 

A little more dose of reality, parents, and a WHOLE  LOT less spoiling.....before you turn your children out into the world where the rest of us have to deal with them. Please. Do us all a favor...especially them.

 
March 27, 2009, 9:51 am CDT

03/27 How to Talk to Your Kids about Money

i noticed on this show that the father  said maybe two words during the entire segment . . . then i heard that the father brings home almost $6000 per month.  i had an aha moment then that explains the behavior of the daughter . . . .  it is obvious that the mother does not work . . . perhaps she has no clue about money herself since she has probably never had to pay the bills!!! and since the father said nothing in the show the mother more than likely has full control of everything and is the "boss" in the family.  plus i did not understand how after monthly expenses they only have $240 left - then how can they spend all that money on their daughter without going into debt? (unless i misunderstood something).  usually when kids are given everything like this girl it is a big issue with the PARENTS (in this case mother) inferior feelings.

$600 for a pair of glasses (which look like reading glasses that cost less than $10.00 at cvs) for a teenager says a lot about the parents values.

 
March 27, 2009, 11:53 am CDT

People try and relate every situation to their own

I didn't watch the show but if the parents can afford their child then great. If they can't afford it and they do it anyway then great. The only way you should be mad if this girl somehow affected you later on in life like she ends up on welfare or marry your son. I honestly think it's funny because they are giving her a false perception on life. Most guys won't break the bank just to please her especially since she doesn't look all that good.
 
March 27, 2009, 12:45 pm CDT

kids and money

I am a single parent and work 2 jobs. My son is disabled and his only enjoyment is video games and the computer. He understands how little I make and when he wants a new or used game , he will either trade in old games or say he will eat hot dogs for dinner or make the spaggetti last longer. Even with his disability he understands how hard it is to make ends meet...
 
March 27, 2009, 1:38 pm CDT

The message starts early

I have always been frugal and always try to buy when what I need is on sale. Our 21 year old (only child) shops the same way, going to the sales rack first. When she was younger, I would take her outgrown clothes to a consignment shop and then with the money I made we would shop in the consignment store. Once her cousin remarked that she felt bad that she had to wear "other peoples clothes", but she replied "why, I just got this Gap skirt for $3.00." When she was 12/13, we started telling her we would pay for her college education, but her spending money, personal products, entertainment, etc. would be her responsibility. She needed to work summers and save her money. She worked summers since she was 13 and spent some and saved some. She is now a junior and has lived up to the agreement. It isn't that we were not able to give her what she wanted, it's that we felt she needed to have a personal investment in her education. She has a debit card, but no credit card and we are now working with her to begin to save and plan for graduation in a year. Even if she lives at home, she will be faced with many expenses she didn't have before, car payment and insurance, cell phone, and to have money for the unexpected, etc. as well as saving to have an apartment and the furnishings she will need. When my sister-in-laws son and daughter graduated from college, she gave them an hour session with an investor. I like that one.
 
March 27, 2009, 1:45 pm CDT

There is a right way and a wrong way

I was raised in a very wealthy area by very wealthy parents. I had 2 bedrooms, 3 closets, my first car was a corvette, I went on $2k shopping sprees every 2 weeks, played sports, went out with friends on my parents dime, etc. I got everything I wanted but I appreciated it. I took care of everything my parents gave me. I knew that I did not deserve $4k of clothes every month but I got it. My parents always pointed out that I was very lucky. When they bought me all the clothes with every swipe of a debit card they would say how lucky I was that not very many kids could do this. I went to a very diverse school where there were very wealthy children and children with nothing. I was friends with all of them so I saw first hand what it was like to have nothing. Going over to my friend's houses who had nothing showed me how lucky I really was. I had to get a job when I was 15. Everytime my parents bought me something they made sure I knew exactly how much they spent. When I went to an out of state college they would made copies of every bill they got and sent them to me so I knew how much was being spent on me. They made me aware of every dime they spent on me and made sure I knew that not everyone could do this and they my dad worked very hard to provide me with everything I was given. God knows where I would be if my parents just bought me things and didn't say anything about the amount or how lucky I was. There is nothing wrong with giving kids everything they want but make them aware of what you are spending, make them aware of how lucky they are, show them families that have nothing, etc.

Every holiday my family would adopt a poor family. Thanksgiving we would provide with their Thanksgiving dinner, we would bring everything to their house(usually an apartment) and spend time with them. Christmas we would get a list of what they NEEDED not what they wanted. We would buy them clothes and after we got everything they needed I was responsible for picking out toys and games(things they didn't ask for) . This is so important because if I did not see these families who had nothing and needed help during the holiday I would have never known they exsisted.

There are things you must do if you are going to spoil your child, you must show them another way of living and make sure they know how lucky they really are and to appreciate what you give them.

 
March 27, 2009, 2:26 pm CDT

I almost thought this was my husband's brother, SIL and niece on the show

I swear I thought I was watching my husband's brother, sister in law and niece on the show.

 

From a young age my husband's brother and his wife have been giving their daughter everything she has ever wanted.   This girl has always been put on a pedestal. The girl is now 22 years old and still standing with her hand out.  This girl has told her parents how things are going to be and they go right along with it.   It has now gotten to the point where the brother and SIL have been told by their bank to either consider selling their house or refinancing because they are carrying way too much debt. 

 
March 27, 2009, 2:35 pm CDT

Spoiled Rotten!

I am shocked and can't understand the parents or this girl on how she thinks she is gonna get anything she wants. I was not deprived by any means when I was little, but we had to learn limits and we only were allowed  20 dollars for the weekend. At the same age I was in school , I was playing three sports and not working, but my only costs were basketball games to watch, and then money for ice cream and stuff on the weekends. I got to go school shopping every year, but we only got about maybe 200 each time. And we didnt always spend that much. But that was only once a year. I now have a child of my own, a house of my own and many new responsiblities. I look at her and think WOW! I was 20 years old when I had my child. I started a new job and still go to school and work, life isnt easy, but I don't get to do all those things. I do my own hair. I spend 7 dollars instead of 60 each time for that. i don't do shopping. The last time I bought myself cloths was after christmas. I got 100 dollars to do whatever I wanted with, well i only spent 60 on stuff for us and bills with the rest. Bills and my child come first, and then the rest of the extras. People have to realize that saving money is a better thing that all these extra needs. Cell phones I have one...the same phone that I have had for almost 2 years. i don't run out and get one every month. Make things last!
 
March 27, 2009, 2:35 pm CDT

03/27 How to Talk to Your Kids about Money

It's unbelievable who idiotic these parents are. The parents of the spoiled brat Katie still don't get it. They keep whining and whining about how much she spends on the mall each month...she couldn't spend it if they didn't give it to her...and then, when called on it, they continue to make excuses for it.

 

By the way Katie, you're really NOT very charming...you pour it on to get your way...you're manipulative and nauseating.

 
March 27, 2009, 2:38 pm CDT

Some people should not have kids !

The parents are totally to blame for spoiling their daughter. She's just adapting to her environment....... My parents had money and I passed the local paper to earn money for what I wanted. I thank them for that because now I owe nothing to creditors and can afford to give money to charities. Thanks Dad !
 
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