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Topic : 08/12 How to Talk to Your Kids about Money

Number of Replies: 43
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Created on : Friday, March 20, 2009, 12:11:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 03/27/09) The current economic crisis has everyone on edge. It’s more important than ever to talk to your kids about money, and today, Dr. Phil gives you the tools you need to have that conversation. His first guests, Lora and Kris, say they want help because their 15-year-old daughter, Katy, loves to shop –- with their money –- and she doesn’t take care of the items she buys. She’s already on her second iPhone, second iPod and third laptop! Katy admits she’s a little spoiled but says every teenager wants nice things. Lora and Kris admit they have a hard time telling their daughter no. How will Katy do when asked to balance the family budget? Then, Dr. Phil leads a roundtable discussion about money with a group of fourth and fifth graders. Find out their reactions when they learn how many bags of groceries you could buy with the amount of money it costs for an iPod. Plus, financial expert Susan Beacham shares the dos and don’ts for teaching kids about money. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 27, 2009, 3:14 pm CDT

Kids and money

one thing that I did when my kids were growing up, everytime they got money...Christmas, birthday, household chores and money that their grandparents would give them for on special occassions, etc. we had 3 envelopes...long term save, short term save and spend.  We would split the money 3 ways.  Spend was theirs to do what they wanted to do with, buy movies, small toys, etc. Short term was for larger priced items and charity.  Long term was for large items or only to save.  One of my sons bought a trampoline with his long term save.  My oldest saved all his long term and we put it to good use when he went to college.  It worked great for us. 
 
March 27, 2009, 3:38 pm CDT

03/27 How to Talk to Your Kids about Money

I enjoyed the show todayk, talking about teaching children about money.  I wanted to share how we taught our 3 kids about money and responsibility.

 

They had chores which were mostly cleaning their room and helping now and then.  They did not get an allowance but got all that was needed for school, sports, etc. 

 

They got money now and then, for birthdays, etc. and for them to spend at outings. 

 

When they wanted some toy, they had to show they really wanted that toy by paying for half of the item.  they needed to save for the toy by doing extra chores (washing the car, etc) and from saving from birthday money and such.  If they really wanted it enough to save for half the cost, we got it for them.

 

It was so exciting to see our small daughter hold her little hands full of her dimes and quarters to buy a "little pony" and when it came for her turn to pay for it, she decided she didn't want to spend her money, she didn't want the toy that bad.  she said she had lots of ponies at home.  she was pretty young, but it made her make choices. 

 

we are real proud of the 3 kids now as adults.  They still look for good deals.

 

They never went without any needed items (and more than enough toys) but having to save was great for them.  Our son worked with a neighbor saving the extra papers from his route, loaded and took to sell at recycle.  He purchased a bike for himself and was so very proud of himself.  When he outgrew it, he painted it and donated to a child who didn't have a bike.

 

I think they learned the money lesson well as young children.  as adults, they like everyone are struggling with the economy and often call on their good skills to make the money go as far as possible.

 

I wish I had a way of making it easier for them now, since they did so well as young children.  They learned the value of a dollar.

 

thank you for doing the show....young teens especially need to learn before old enough to go away to college.  Those cards are too easy to get and to abuse without even realizing..

 
March 27, 2009, 3:42 pm CDT

03/27 How to Talk to Your Kids about Money

Quote From: kaysquare

How do you talk to your kids about money????  You start by telling them the definition of the word "NO".  It's not rocket science.  You might actually have to tell them the difference between "wants" and "needs".  You might also take them to a homeless shelter where real kids sometimes have to live without credit cards, designer jeans, cell phones, hot cars, manicures, pedicures, tanning beds, hair extensions, makeup, etc.  You also sit them down & show them how much money is coming in each month, & how much goes out, & explain the areas of spending that simply have to stop.  It's really pretty simple.

You have hit the nail on the head. I raised five kids who were very spoiled when it came to sports, costumes, dance, cheerleading, traveling for those interests, and such. I was quite well off. BUT - they understood about values. They knew how much things cost and they had to earn most things with work, helping out on jobs (I owned a construction company) and when it was time to work, no excuses were allowed. They have all become productive adults. The three oldest ones own their own homes and when things get tough (jobs have been lost recently) they didn't moan and groan and ask for help, they got busy and took care of themselves. My youngest one moved to California at 14 to live with his older brother. He has been self-sufficient since he was seventeen. He figured out how to get scholarships and help to go to college. My next one (just turned 21) has gone to college and beauty school and owns her own car. She and her older sister (24 -married, two kids, another on the way and a bachelor's degree in biology she paid for herself) just went into business together. They will all be fine because they learned when they were young that money isn't free. It doesn't grow on trees. Someone has to earn it.

 

This girl on the show is waaaaaay too grownup.  She acts like she has been trained to behave a certain way. She will be pregnant and uneducated within a couple of years 'cause she thinks mom and dad can get her out of any trouble she gets in. I feel sorry for her. As an adult, she's going to have a tough row to hoe.   Dad - get some ..... and stand up to your wife.

 
March 27, 2009, 3:46 pm CDT

My grown daughter

My former husband and the father of my 29 year old daughter is European, and my girl lives in her fathers country since age 18. This is also the country of her birth. At the time I was working in that country and fell in love with and married my former husband. When my daugher and her brother were kids, their father who is very domineering, showered them with gifts and would not allow me to teach them about responsibility, or assign age appropriate chores.  The result is that my daughter is disfunctional, does not hold down a job and cannot support herself. She has a sense of entitlement which her father still caters to.. I take responsibility for not standing up to my husband during our marriage, so am partially responsible for my daughter's problems. I have sporatic contact with my daughter except when she asks for money per email message. This I have done several times this year. When I visit Europe, she doesn't wish to see me; i  have seen her 3 times in 10 years. I love her and worry about her welfare. I know she has to learn this lesson for herself, but she is addicted to computer games, which contributes to her disfuntionality. If I can't help her, how can I stop worrying about her?
 
March 27, 2009, 6:21 pm CDT

AMEN!

Quote From: imdbestmom

You have hit the nail on the head. I raised five kids who were very spoiled when it came to sports, costumes, dance, cheerleading, traveling for those interests, and such. I was quite well off. BUT - they understood about values. They knew how much things cost and they had to earn most things with work, helping out on jobs (I owned a construction company) and when it was time to work, no excuses were allowed. They have all become productive adults. The three oldest ones own their own homes and when things get tough (jobs have been lost recently) they didn't moan and groan and ask for help, they got busy and took care of themselves. My youngest one moved to California at 14 to live with his older brother. He has been self-sufficient since he was seventeen. He figured out how to get scholarships and help to go to college. My next one (just turned 21) has gone to college and beauty school and owns her own car. She and her older sister (24 -married, two kids, another on the way and a bachelor's degree in biology she paid for herself) just went into business together. They will all be fine because they learned when they were young that money isn't free. It doesn't grow on trees. Someone has to earn it.

 

This girl on the show is waaaaaay too grownup.  She acts like she has been trained to behave a certain way. She will be pregnant and uneducated within a couple of years 'cause she thinks mom and dad can get her out of any trouble she gets in. I feel sorry for her. As an adult, she's going to have a tough row to hoe.   Dad - get some ..... and stand up to your wife.

Nobody wants to tell a kid NO anymore.  As a matter of fact, they all want them to out-do the neighbors.  I raised three boys on my own and they were probably the only ones who did not have a cell phone in the third grade (None of them had a cell phone until they left home!).  We live in a society where they all feel entitled to everything,  while working for none of it.  These brats are growing up to be the adults who charge up thousands on credit cards, file bankruptcy, and take out mortgages without any money down and then default.  Is it any wonder the US is in the mess it is?   Those parents on todays show should have their head examined!  When I was a kid girls all did each other's finger nails.  I did not have my first pedicure until I was 30 years old!    She's living the life of an adult with a 50k a year job.  Being a good parent is not fun or easy, but teaching those life lessons is a MUST!    Wow.......... I want to be their daughter!!!
 
March 27, 2009, 6:27 pm CDT

Good Grief!

I hope those parents watched your show and realized what LOUSY parents they really are.  Gads, that girl is living the life of an employed 40 year old making 60k a year.   Mom and dad better start searching for a wealthy son-in-law!    And I think they are the ones who should be looking at their budget!  I'm sure they spending their retirement fund on "sissy's" mall trips!
 
March 27, 2009, 9:15 pm CDT

my poor children...lol

wow!!!! my poor  kids definetely know the  word NO!! omg since when did getting everything u  wanted become the norm?   I think that mother needs a reality check, i think my jaw was on the floor during the whole show. The problem i have with her way of parenting is that my girls have to go to school with these over indulgent brats!!! UGH

 
March 27, 2009, 9:45 pm CDT

kids and money

I always tried to help my daughter understand the value of money.  When she was very young she would do small little jobs around the house and print it on a piece of paper and then put it in the job jar.  At the rate of 2 cents a job, she would usually get about 2 dollars a week allowance. 

When we went to a store, I always told my kids that I would probably buy them something if they remembered not to ask for anything.  I had behavioral expert help me though as my son has autism.

 
March 28, 2009, 11:30 am CDT

not the typical teen

You should have had another teen on the same time to show kids who can go out an shop, get great outfits for as little as nothing to show her it could be done. I "never" let my daughters hold the money!! I went w/ them always, made sure they shopped the sales racks only, and then would show them the difference in getting 1 item for 40 or 50 bucks, or the 15 or so from the sales rack. They understood every time. My 25 yr. old "loves" going to her freinds, co-workers, her cheerleaders she coaches, and goes, "top, $3, pants, $2, shoes, 1.99!!! She's proud of that ability! I taught her that. She is smart, beautiful, does modeling in Dallas, Chicago, and atlanta, so she knows fashion. Being on a sale rack can just mean not enough product to make a statement, or changing seasons. "All" the girls she shares this w/ "always" want to know where she shops! She got 2 Prom dresses marked $400. on sale for $19. and $29!!! And now my 12 year old is learning the same tricks! Those parents are crazy!!!!
 
March 28, 2009, 11:38 am CDT

kids and money/clothes

I know from experience one of the problems this mother had saying no was because of her weight. She was obviously overweight, and probably was most of her childhood, or just now. She has a beautiful, thin daughter who can wear things she wished she could have. I experienced this w/ my daughter. I would have killed to be able to wear the things she could. So when we would see things on the racks, I'd let her get them, but for me, they still had to be on sale! You could just see it in the films you showed of the two of them together. I bet you money if you had asked her if that had anything to do w/ it, she would have said yes! Alot of us live our lives thru our children.
 
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