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Topic : 03/26 Octuplets: On the Record, Part 2

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Created on : Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 06:16:19 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
After bringing all the parties together to announce the dissolution of the agreement between the octuplets’ mother, Nadya Suleman, and the organization Angels in Waiting USA, who offered care for all 14 of Nadya’s children, Dr. Phil continues the discussion. Attorney Gloria Allred and Nadya’s attorney, Jeff Czech, present two differing views about what happened inside Nadya’s house and why Angels in Waiting USA were dismissed. Dr. Phil continues to advocate for the welfare of the Suleman children above all. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 25, 2009, 11:37 pm CDT

Nayda wisely dismisses Angels

This round-the-clock Angel nurses plan was doomed from the start.  There was no way Nadya could have pleased them. 

Hey Nadya, please get some speech therapy.  I had to watch Dr. Phil with Closed Captioning because your speech is so fast and muddled.

 
March 26, 2009, 12:22 am CDT

Octomom March 25 show

Dr Phil

 

I am not saying that Nadya Suluman made a wise choice to have eight babies, but the fact is they are here. I completely support her decision to throw Linda Pate out of her home. The woman made no secret of her discust with Suluman on you show today, with her statements calling her That woman and calling the baby she is so concered with IT.  Regardless of what the situations is, that is still Octomoms home and  i certainly would not want anyone with that type of attitude in my home either. I don't care if the woman has 14 children or 24 they are her children and people need to get off their horses and help her raise them and stop trying to take them away from her. Who cares if she went shopping or hang giding, She needs to be first when it comes down to discussing her children. She did the right thing in this instance that kind of aggression would have just bred more over time.  How in the hell does Pate know what Nadya feels about her children. I support Octomoms decision

 
March 26, 2009, 12:52 am CDT

03/26 Octuplets: On the Record, Part 2

Quote From: sissee

Gloria Allred and Angels in Waiting had a very adversarial approach from the beginning with Nadya.  Quite frankly -- and in my humble opinion -- Gloria and AIW should have presented a more professional approach from the start. 

 

I would state that I believe Nadya has created a false accusation to get rid of Angels in Waiting.   I don't believe one word that Nadya states (and quite frankly, I'm truly baffled that Dr. Phil continues to support this person).  However, AIW were supposed to be the "professionals" here, and from Day 1, I found their professionalism to be lacking.  They should be providing a "support structure," not it's going to be my way, or the highway approach.  How dare they???  I, too, would have been offended, because their behavior was highly accusatory and demeaning to Nadya -- as a mother.  I think they did cross the line.

 

Once Allred filed a report against Nadya with CPS (note, that was before any of the babies came home), all bets were OFF for Angels in Waiting EVER being able to contribute in any meaningful way.   I mean, "How does it feel when someone THREATENS you?  And, what is your response to being threatened?"    Of course Nadya was going to scheme her way out of having AIW in her home, and telling her "what" to do.  In this case, I can't say that I blame her.  I would have fired them too .....

 

Now, the bigger question still remains, "Will the babies continue to receive adequate care?"  That's the million dollar question.

As a mother, I too would have taken offense to being told what to do or how to care for my children BUT given the unusual set of circumstances in this situation, I can see where AIW would have wanted to lay some ground rules.  It must be extremely difficult to care for these preemies, especially while there are six other children running about.  I don't believe that AIW was trying to control Nadya by any means, but rather I believe that they were only trying to insert some organization to an already chaotic situation. 

 

My heart breaks for all 14 of these children.  I agree with other posters on this board that these innocent children are being exploited for monetary gain.  Now Nadya is talking of returning to school to gain a Master's Degree!!!!  This is the most insane goal that I've heard yet.  It isn't that getting a Master's would be a bad thing, but graduate school requires much work and it would only seem that she is very limited as far as how much "free time" she currently has to devote to such a commitment.  I am finishing grad school and have children, and it is very difficult to delegate time.  BUT such is life.  I just pray that these children will be able to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually whether it is with their natural mother or with an adoptive family.  I say this only because I anticipate that these children will eventually end up in they system; either voluntarily or involuntarily on Nadya's part.  She clearly has issues that run far deeper than a one-hour talk show can reveal (No offense intended against Dr. Phil)  I foresee that she will completely burn out, and quite possibly walk away from everything, including her children.  Of course she won't accept any responsibility; but rather she will blame the media and/or public scrutiny for her poor judgment.

 
March 26, 2009, 1:19 am CDT

BACK OFF!!!

I didn't notice the emote. space during sign-up, but mine, somehow, was set at angry.  I guess frustrated and angry describes the way I'm feeling right now!  First of all, the producers of this show look for shows that are going to boost ratings.  They hit the jackpot when they found out about Nadya and the octuplets.  Until then, she'd been known to no one.  Now, not only does she have do deal with the overwhelming task of trying to make a home for her children, but she's literally got the weight of the world on her shoulders!

 

Does any mom out there remember suffering from post-par-tum depression?  I sure do!  Imagine that times eight!  Then multiply that by the fact that there are certain individuals (I won't name names) who are itching for her to do something wrong; and, I'd venture to say has an agenda of her/their own.  It's no wonder she wants to stay away!   And who's doing the shopping for her so that she doesn't have to?  In my city, people can call/e-mail grocery orders for delivery, but that cannot be done with clothing and certain other goods.  Say...  There's an idea!  The Head Angel in Waiting can sell the idea to Wal-Mart to make the shopping service available--to include shopping for clothing and pharmaceuticals.  In that way, she'd really be an angel rather than the devil (accuser and condemner that she's being now! 

 

John and Kate weren't prepared for parenting their children!  If it weren't for reality TV and people donating goods and services to them where would they be.  Is this lynch mob waiting to take those kids away?  And what about the Dogars with their eighteen kids?  The parents in that show aren't taking care of the children, the older siblings are!  Should they be taken away? 

 

If you're going to help her--then help her.  Counsel her with where she's going wrong.  And, for God's sake, get off her back!

 
March 26, 2009, 1:52 am CDT

Nadia is smart and articulate

Quote From: jipmarch

Are you nuts?

AIW is required by law to report  any thing that they see is or can be harmful to the children.  That is all they were doing.  This mother is using her children to profit and become a celebrity. On the Dr. Phil show the women from AIW was trying to get her point across about how little time the mother spent with her children and her lawyer kept interrupting her.  His statement that any mother needs time to shop was ludicrous.  She is seen shopping all the time.  She should be with her children and not exploiting them.  Any money that she is making from pictures, interviews etc.  should be going to the kids and then to pay for the medical bills.  But the sad thing is she will likely get a reality show and profit from her insane behavior. 

Do you not realize that if these people came into our homes, they could find all sorts of "dangers" that they could say they are required to report.  Children are in much more danger in foster homes. 

If that AIW saw dangers they should have had a program in place to help correct them.  I too had reservations about AIW from the beginning.  Some of the women did not seem to have loving caring spirits.  Even that is unfair to the people in that organization who were there for the right reasons. Dr. Phil tried.  Even he was hopeful as Nadia was that these people would step up and be heroes to the babies. 

 Nadia has to shop for food and basic neccesities!  She has to cook and clean too.  She has to be the bread winner.  We need to support the family and pray for them.  Stop being so critical.  Put yourself in her shoes. What if YOU came into the spotlight not by accident. Nadia obviously cares deeply for each child.   How she picked up each one so carefully and lovingly.  She must feel immense pressure to have money to care for them.  Maybe that's why she was hard pressed to spend lots of time with them.(if it is even true anyway.) 

 

 
March 26, 2009, 5:02 am CDT

03/26 Octuplets: On the Record, Part 2

Quote From: momiger

I completly support nadyas decison by kicking AIW out.  After listening to both sides AIW sounded very defensive and judgemental,  Those women came in Nadya's home to show america that she cant do this and that is wrong, it was like they were there to sabatoge her success.  Watching these ladies from AIW, just disgusted me, just because she had 8 babies, just because she is single who cares really, now that the babies are here leave mom and kids alone let her be the mother she needs to be without the, socitey forcing her to be like what they want her to be.  I dont know nadya but ive followed her story and I to have had my judgements.  But who am I to tell a mother you are wrong for having these children.  God has allowed these 8 marvlous babies to be born why not be happy.  She will be alright, with the correct attitude and support she will be alright

I also agree with you...

I Feel that people that tell other people what to do is being pretty noises, It’s one thing about helping people and other thing is being too noise… This is about Nadia and her Octuplets Baby’s… I know people are up set about her having these baby and unmarried. “BUT” it’s to late now. People need to get over it and help this woman with donations or get out of her business. Donation should go to the mother of the babies.

 
March 26, 2009, 5:52 am CDT

Yikes!

For those people in defense of octomom firing AIW......here's something to chew on.  They were there with her up front and personal.  They saw her in action.  We didn't!!!  So there's two sides to every story.  But I see no reason for those women, who have the best interest of the babies first and foremost as their job, to lie about what she was like when she was home with the babies.  These are premies and they shouldn't be exposed to every person that she feels she wants in her home to give her press. TB?  Good Lord, how awful is that!!!!  I tend to believe the AIW people over the mom.  Have never believed a word she said anyway.  Can you say........meal ticket?  She has gotten what she wanted (money, free furnishings, nice house), all at the expense of the babies.  She doesn't want to care for them.  She wants to use them.  She wants others to do all the grunt work while she shops and does interviews.  I hope Dr. Phil washes his hands of her.  I was rather surprised, after his trailer for the show he said that she wouldn't like what he has to say, that he really didn't have much to say to her at all.  He should call her on her bad actions.  She talks a good tale.......but even AIW have seen that she spends a lot of time shopping, and less time with her babies.   Meal ticket!  End of story.
 
March 26, 2009, 6:01 am CDT

03/26 Octuplets: On the Record, Part 2

Quote From: momiger

I completly support nadyas decison by kicking AIW out.  After listening to both sides AIW sounded very defensive and judgemental,  Those women came in Nadya's home to show america that she cant do this and that is wrong, it was like they were there to sabatoge her success.  Watching these ladies from AIW, just disgusted me, just because she had 8 babies, just because she is single who cares really, now that the babies are here leave mom and kids alone let her be the mother she needs to be without the, socitey forcing her to be like what they want her to be.  I dont know nadya but ive followed her story and I to have had my judgements.  But who am I to tell a mother you are wrong for having these children.  God has allowed these 8 marvlous babies to be born why not be happy.  She will be alright, with the correct attitude and support she will be alright

Hmmmmmmmm........and when do you think she will start getting that correct attitude and the best support?  Obviously, not yet!
 
March 26, 2009, 6:10 am CDT

Octomom

I am so disappointed in Dr phil getting involved in this whole mess..i know his heart is in the right place as far as concern for the children goes, but I feel nadya has manipulated him, his staff, and all of us with her psycho crap! Why hasnt anyone investigated the doctor that implanted those embyos?! and why isnt HE paying for their care and everything?! i mean..The guy is incompetent and should pay!!
 
March 26, 2009, 6:11 am CDT

03/26 Octuplets: On the Record, Part 2

i personally do not think the angel nurses were all that harsh..   one of nadya's complaints was that someone made the comment aw that baby is so tiny i could fit it in my purse..   and nadya freaked out and said pretending you're gonna kidnap my child is not a joking matter..   dr phil asked nadya if the words had been said in a threatening tone, and nadya admitted that no, the words had been said in a sweet way but she did not think they were appropriate words to say because they should be more sensitive to her fears..   how could the atmosphere "not" be tense if they are having to walk on eggshells to sidestep nadya's oversensitivity? 

 

how many thousands of times have people made similar comments when cuddling with babies and it is perfectly normal and nonthreatening..   like if someone says "aw i could just eat you up" should the mother take that as legitimate concerns that the person is a cannibal and can't be trusted or they just might eat her baby for breakfast?  i am an overprotective mother myself but just because someone comments how sweet and tiny my baby is i don't think i would jump to the conclusion that they're just unnecessarily planting fears in my head that someone will stick him in their pocket and run off with him..  if she is truly that protective then why does she spend such little time in the nursery with them?   that is not protectiveness, that is paranoia, and by nadya's own words she admitted she is paranoid..

 

and she resented their "rules" about how to keep the nursery as a germ free zone, but wasn't that what they were there for, to coach her on that sort of thing, to establish a healthy environment?   and because they were doing what they were supposed to be doing that makes them the bad guys?   i mean i know there tones of voice did sound very irritated, but frankly i might have a hard time keeping my voice down too if  there had been cause to report her three times in less than a week, or if i expressed a need to install a security system and instead she installs a hot tub..   maybe nadya just innocently misheard the suggestion??  oh, when you said we need to do something about the guy trying to get in at 3am before he comes back again, i thought you meant invite him to a hot tub party!  oops. silly me!

 

maybe it's just me but i honestly don't think they are "picking" on nadya..  i think they have very valid reasons that from the onset of this arrangement they've been so insistent about nadya accepting supervision..   child welfare services don't issue warnings such as "do it this way or you might lose your kids" just to be mean or to issue empty threats..   they would only play hard ball like that if they have legitimate reasons to say we are this-close to having to remove them from the home but we're bending over backwards to keep the family together and give you a chance to step up before it comes to that..   they don't offer those warnings lightly, they don't say it just to be rude..

 

those ladies have been around the block..  they are not naive enough or childish enough to play the head games nadya wants us to believe they are playing..   they would not risk their jobs by falsifying reports..  i did not get the impression that they were the least bit unprofessional..

 

i know nadya does have a team of nannies now and i don't doubt those babies are being taken care of round the clock.. but there is more to childcare than going through the motions..   they need to bond with a primary caregiver before failure to thrive becomes an issue..  babies can literally die from not having enough one-on-one interaction..  if they don't have one special person they can connect with, they begin to disconnect in general, till gradually they lose interest in eating and eventually don't bother taking the next breath..   my words seem mello-dramatic, i know, but unfortunately it is all too true, it happens..   they may bond with a particular nanny, which can be good in the short term, until nadya feels threatened and fires her in a jealous fit..   if she keeps throwing people out every time there is a personality conflict, the kids are gonna get attached to people then lose them, until the older ones decide they cannot trust or count on or get close to anyone..  self contained, trying to fill the void with everything but healthy interaction..  in other words, there will be 14 nadyas on the loose some day, if they live that long..

 

i know all of that is just a possible scenerio, i can't predict the future..  but people who have seen this kind of thing play out can't help but see the pattern of which direction it is going if nadya doesn't come down off of her cloud and start mothering her children..   the angels have seen the patterns time and again, they know what to look for, they know it when they see it and when to express concerns..   doctor phil knows his stuff too and i don't think he would continue involving himself in spite of his intentions to let yesterday be the last show on the topic, in spite of the fact that he knows he's losing viewers who are tired of hearing nadya's name or seeing her face..  the emotions would not be so high unless there are true concerns..

 

i just don't agree with "poor nadya, they're being so mean to her!"   i do say "poor nadya" in the sense that i know she has a full plate and i know she has alot of issues and i do feel sorry for her up to a point..  but i don't think anyone is being "mean", they are being PROTECTIVE!  that is why they are called child PROTECTION services..  i think they want to help nadya as much as help the babies, to give her some true help instead of catering to what she thinks she wants as she spins out of control with her spending sprees..  it is very frustrating when someone is in obvious need of help and you really do want to offer it but they won't (or can't, or are not ready to) acknowledge their need for support and accept it..  when you sincerely want to make things easier and healthier for them and they fight you tooth and nail..  yeah, by the end of the day you might be a little bit grumpy..  especially when meanwhile and most importantly there are more than a dozen children's welfare at stake..  so i for one think their exasperated tones of voices have been perfectly understandable and forgivable..

 

but that is just my opinion:)

 
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