Topic : 06/26 Frustrated Moms

i completely understand ... how could ur mother, in my case my father put on a show for others? i coudlnt stand it! when i finally revealed to my friends how my family was really like they were shocked and coudlnt believe it. it wasnt fair that my dad treated my friends so well and me like crap. Even now he does it with my neighbors down the street. Him and my mother treat their daughter like a princess. i dont know if i want my father in my life or my kids for that matter when i am older. i am scared they will be hurt. i also question whether or not i want kids but i think i will because by watching my parents i am aware of what is harmful and what is not and so forth. I bet youll be okay as long as u stay organized and keep yourself on your goal. "to raise your kids in a healthy, nurturing, and learning enviroment" your kids will thank you for it. no one is perfect and mistaks will be made, but u wont make severe mistakes because you are aware of them and know from personal experience what it will do to a person.

good luck! have faith in yourself!

I really related to these families today because it's exactly where I was a couple of years ago.   I would go from a perfectly good mood  (or any mood including anxious or weepy) to a  blind rage in a split second  ... I scared my kids, my husband & myself.  With my husband's support, I quit my stressful job & our income was almost halved.   I really did try to change  & fought the idea of change for much  longer than I should have.    But to be honest, the reduction in job stress was also replaced by  the financial stress & feeling that I could have/should have been able to "handle it".  

   If you are experiencing mood swings -- please see your family physician for a complete physical before you quit your job!!    What  I didn't know at the time that I quit,  was that fluctuating hormones & a thyroid disorder were also wreaking havoc with my moods.  (I was in my mid 40's at the time & in the midst of peri-menopause).   While quitting my stressful job/commute was helpful -  it wasn't enough.  When I finally started an ani-depressant & thyroid med, it made a world of difference & I stopped having severe mood swings.  I am much happier now & it was probably right to quit my job .... but I 'll always wonder if I could have stayed if I had started medication earlier.       

I really related to these families today because it's exactly where I was a couple of years ago.   I would go from a perfectly good mood  (or any mood including anxious or weepy) to a  blind rage in a split second  ... I scared my kids, my husband & myself.  With my husband's support, I quit my stressful job & our income was almost halved.   I really did try to change  & fought the idea of change for much  longer than I should have.    But to be honest, the reduction in job stress was also replaced by  the financial stress & feeling that I could have/should have been able to "handle it".  

   If you are experiencing mood swings -- please see your family physician for a complete physical before you quit your job!!    What  I didn't know at the time that I quit,  was that fluctuating hormones & a thyroid disorder were also wreaking havoc with my moods.  (I was in my mid 40's at the time & in the midst of peri-menopause).   While quitting my stressful job/commute was helpful -  it wasn't enough.  When I finally started an ani-depressant & thyroid med, it made a world of difference & I stopped having severe mood swings.  I am much happier now & it was probably right to quit my job .... but I 'll always wonder if I could have stayed if I had started medication earlier.       

My dad had that very same problem. He didn't take his anger out on me much though, mainly my mom. I mean, he's pushed me a few times, but never flat-out abused me. I wonder why that is though. He got really bad with my mom, and she never did anything to provoke him or anything. He just got really angry really easily (alcohol didn't help the issue). But he ALWAYS took it out on her, I felt really bad for her. She's such a great lady and she'd never done anything to deserve it. Many times she could have called the police; they would have known he had issues when they saw the broken wine glasses on the patio, contorted lawn furniture strewn across the yard and bruises on my mom's body and a mark on her neck one particular time when he'd threatened to strangle her. But she never did call the police, I don't understand why. But anyway, she left him now, so things are better... they share joint custody of me, although I've been advised by a counselor to cease living with my dad. But he's told me that if I stopped living with him, he'd end his own life. I know that's very immature of him, but hey... not much I can do. So to get to my point, how on Earth do you deal with someone like this? I've tried to get my dad help, but no one listens to you when you're 18. He even denies ever having an anger problem and denies having done all the violent acts that I've clearly seen him do for 18 years! Why did he always take it out on my mom?