Topic : 04/02 Out of the Cult Follow-Up

Cut Doctor Follow Of Out Phil The Up. I just got a feeling that I see this before last time. See you on April---

02nd Thursday, 2009. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------------------

I was brought up as a Jehovahs Witness, and also brought up my own two sons in the religion. When my marriiage broke up I beleived it was right to keep the boys from seeing their father who was disfellowshipped and regarded as "apostate". I persuaded them over time (huge regrets for this) to call him and tell him themselves. I hurt them so badly, they will never recover. So many "normal" things they missed out on due to my religious fervour.

My Ex husband now runs a "group" where he is the reincarnated Jesus and lives with his "soul mate" the reincarnated Mary Magdalene. He has leadership of at least 80 local people plus many more worlwide through his seminars and dvd's. He travels the world and now lives off donations to the group.

My sons are 22 and 24 yrs old and have many emotional scars from the cult they grew up in and the cult their father now espouses!!!

My poor boys, I love them so much and it kills me to see them in emotional pain. Both suffer depression (of course) and feel as though they "dont fit in" with normal people.

They are absolutely gorgeous young men despite their problems and try very hard to wrestle with their emotions on many subjects.

I wish Dr Phil could help us.

Sheree

While most probably wouldn't regard Jehovah's Witnesses as a cult, and it is much more mainstream than the polygamist groups "featured" on Dr Phil's shows, much of their bizarre "doctrine" is based on Bible verses twisted out of context. "Doctrine" based on obscure, out-of-context, mostly Old Testament, verses is characteristic of cults.

I don't understand why Dr. Phil is still pushing the two sisters to be friends with their older abusive sister.  It is one thing to be civil toward her, but why would Dr. Phil push them to try to be friends and spend time together? She obviously has a lot of serious issues. She abused her two sisters...I'd assume a psychologist would never recommend that the two sisters befriend their abusive father and forgive him and spend time with him, WHY on earth is he pushing so hard for Mirium and Sarah to be friends with their  abusive older sister?? Makes NO sense to me. Everyone in the family should just stay away from this woman!

I WAS SEXUALLY ASSULTED BY TWO OF MY BROTHERS & NO ONE BELIEVED ME EVEN THOW MY SISTER WAS IN HER BED IN THE ROOM WE SHARED,WHEN IT ALL CAME OUT MY DAD ASKED MY SISTER ABOUT WHAT SHE SAW BUT MY SISTER SAID NOTHEN, SHE NEVER STOOD UP FOR ME ETC..IV BEEN THREW SOO MUCH SELF HEALING WITH COUNSLERS (THANK U M.FULTON 4 EVERYTHING U DID 4 ME) IT TORE ME UP BUT TODAY IM A STRONG 43 YR OLD WOMEN WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SLIBLINGS CUZ I CHOOSE NOT TO (DONT NEED THE DRAMA IN MY ,LIFE)..I BLAMED EVERYONE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME BUT WITH THE HELP FROM MR.FULTON I WAS ABLE TO GET PASSED ALLTHE HATERED ETC & LIVE FOR ME ...I LUV MY LIFE BUT WANT NOTHEN TO DO WITH MY SLIBLINGS I FORGAVE WHICH WAS SOOO HARD & HAVE MOVED ON..SO WHEN I SAW UR  SHOW TODAY IT GOT ME THINKEN WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED ,WE CAN CHOOSE TO MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER OR DWELL IN SELF PITTY EVEN IF IT IT IS THE HARDEST THING TO..SORRY  SO LONG BUT JUST HAD TO GET IN ON THIS ONE ..THANKS..

The girl`s abusive father forced the oldest to abuse the younger ones. His abuse of everyone would have been much worse than hers if she had refused.

Jeannie can't remember saying certain things and denies vehemently that she called her sisters the devil.  This sounds like multiple personality disorder to me.  My friend is a multiple and I'm very knowledgeable about the subject. You know, the "United States of Tara".   Here's what I think.  Jeannie has MPD and she has one personality that  was created to dissassociate when she was forced to abuse her sister--let's call that personallity "the abuser".  "The Abuser"  was instructed by the abusive father to call the sister's "the devils".  The real Jeannie is having trouble staying in control around her sisters and sometimes "the abuser" takes over and starts calling the sisters "the devils".  Of course, the core personality of Jeannie can't remember when she disassociates into "the abuser"  personality--this explains why she can't recall calling them "the devils" over and over again.  This type of abuse sustained by the father so early on in childhood is exactly what causes MPD.  Jeannie could seek therapy to determine if she does have MPD and try to merge the personalities together.  Sound far fetched?  It's really more common then people think.

I have found from personal experiences, forgiveness IS NOT for the other person, it is for you.  Forgivessness isn't only about salvaging a friendship or relationship. You don't have to be friends with people who have hurt you in the past just because you forgave them.

 

I was made fun of on a daily basis by many of the kids I went to elementary school with.  One in particular sent me home crying everyday.  And get a load of this, he lived down the street from and and we were friends. Before we were in the same class, he and his sister and I would ride bikes all the time.  Then one day he decided it would be funny to make fun of my physical condition, which, by the way I can't help. I gues I should have been a child comedian because it got a lot of laughs.  I hated him for that.....so much that I would beg my parents not to send me to school.  My point is, it took me a long time but I finally got over it and moved on with life. Since becoming an adult, I have seen him and his sister several times.  I even hugged him once but the three of us are not life-long friends again since I forgave him.  

 

Forgiveness is about YOU having the ability to say, "What you did to me hurt more than you'll ever know, but it's done and I'm over it. I WILL NOT let it make me a victim of anger and resentment!" Forgivenss is so that you can feel better and be at peace with things. 

 

To be perfectly honest with you, I didn't forgive him UNTIL I WAS READY.  Since forgiveness is for you; no one can tell you when to forgive someone.  It has to be on your terms and in your timing.

I agree!