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Topic : 04/03 Reunion Realities

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Created on : Thursday, March 26, 2009, 04:12:50 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Imagine answering your phone and hearing, "You don't know me, but I am your brother or sister." How would you react? Many reunions with long-lost loved ones turn out joyous, but sometimes, the results can be difficult to accept. Troy Dunn, a professional people finder and host of WE TV's The Locator joins Dr. Phil to share a mixed bag of reunion stories. First up, four of five sisters torn apart during childhood reunite after over 20 years. Then, with the help of Troy, they locate their youngest sister and gather for an emotional reconciliation. Even with the best reunions, problems can crop up, and as time has passed, two of the women, Desiree and Stephanie, have stopped speaking to each other. What's causing these sisters to drift apart? Can they come to an understanding before Desiree is shipped out with the Army? Then, all five women visit their mother together for the first time since they were taken from her. She joins the show to share her experience. Next, Wendy contacted Troy to locate her mother, who sent her and her brother to live with their paternal aunt and uncle when she was 10. Wendy thought she was going on a vacation, but never returned home and wants to know why her mother left her. After a frustrating search, Troy locates her mom, but the news is anything but joyous. Could Wendy’s worst fears about her mother be true? If there is someone in your life you're longing to get back in touch with, don't miss this show to learn the realities of reunions.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

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hpmx59

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happy

March 27, 2009, 1:19 pm PDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Doctor Phil Real Re Ties Union. I have never heard of that before. See you on April Friday 03rd, 2009. Sin--

cerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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angelbaby6909

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hopeful

March 28, 2009, 7:20 am PDT

mom reunited over the internet

Quote From: hpmx59

Doctor Phil Real Re Ties Union. I have never heard of that before. See you on April Friday 03rd, 2009. Sin--

cerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagne your self on the compter on facebook looking up names and finding what you think may be your kids whom were taken from you by the courts years earlier and having them respond why did you leave us? look to my surprize my 16 year old did just that and then went on to tell me that he wished He was with me then was also worried what the adopted parents would do when they find out well the next day they did and told me i may be there real mother yet not to contact or have contact with my son til he turns 18 well his older brother and sister will be 18 in OCT. and I could really feel the confusion my son is having. Look I reunions are good yet what happens to my kids now?

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tinamod

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April 3, 2009, 7:35 am PDT

I had the same experience

I was adopted at birth in 1964. My mother had a daughter from a previous marriage who was 2 1/2 at the time of my birth. I was born in Elkhorn Wisconsin on September 1, 1964. I lost my adopted mother in 1997 and began my search after her passing. Catholic Social Services was able to send me my court documents with all the relevant information blacked out. They were also able to contact both my father and mother. My father never beieved I was his child and that is why he divorced my mother. My mother went on to have I think 3 more children who she either left at the hospital or left with the paternal parents. She wrote a letter to which I have a copy of that letter and she said that when she gave me up she never wanted to hear from me again. She stated that she never wanted any of her children except her first born which she lost custody of to her husband. You see, she was sleeping around on him and got pregnant with me, so I am not sure if I was a product of her affair or a product of her marriage. She made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me and to never contact her or her family again. People just don't understand the hurt, abandoment and rejection adoptees feel and how it impacts their entire life. I have hate, anger and saddness in my heart for this woman and I hope that she goes to her grave a hateful, bitter and alone.person. Then she will know what all of her children have felt their entire lives.

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treatybreaker2

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frustrated

April 3, 2009, 8:38 am PDT

REUNION REALITIES

I HAVE ATTEMPTED FOR MANY MANY YEARS TO LOCATE MY BIRTH MOTHER OR MY SIBLINGS. I DID GET NON-IDENTIFING INFORMATION FROM THE DEPT OF SOCIAL SERVICES IN THE STATE I WAS BORN IN, NEW YORK. SAD TO SAY, NEW YORK "SEALS' THEIR RECORDS SO I HAVE NO ACCESS TO THEM EVEN THOUGH I AM WELL ABOVE THE LEGAL AGE. I WAS ADOPTED IN THE LATE 50'S WHEN IT WAS ALL ABOUT PROTECTING THE BIRTH MOTHERS. I HAVE TRIED AND TRIED AND WAS TOLD THAT EVEN IF I WENT TO COURT, HIRED SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW TO LOOK AT MY ADOPTION PAPERS, THEY STILL WOULD BE UNABLE TO TELL ME ANYTHING. THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT TO ME AS I AM DISABLED AND HAVE SEVERAL DISEASES THAT COULD BE INHERITED. I UNDERSTAND THAT THE PROBABLITY THAT THEY DIDN'T ASK MEDICAL QUESTIONS LEADS TO NO REAL MEDICAL QUESTIONS, HOWEVER, I DO HAVE 3 SIBLINGS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I WONDER IF ANY OF THEM ARE SICK. I WAS AT THAT MOMENT THE YOUNGEST WITH ALL OF US HAVING FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND HAVING DIFFERENT FATHERS. THERE WAS NO INFORMATION ON MY BIRTH FATHER AT ALL. I DID REGISTER WITH NY FOR THE SIBLING REGISTRY ABOUT 10 YRS AGO, SADLY, NONE OF MY SIBLINGS HAVE REGISTERED AS I'VE NOT BEEN CONTACTED. ITS FRUSTRATING TO SAY THE LEAST, I HAVE A 'HOLLOW HEART'. MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS WERE WONDERFUL, AND I SAY THEY ARE MY PARENTS. THEY BOTH ARE GONE NOW, I MISS THEM TERRIBLY, BUT THEY KNEW MY DESIRE TO FIND FAMILY AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.

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ththdurham

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April 3, 2009, 12:39 pm PDT

my husband's story

A little over 7 years ago my husband decided to try and find his birth family. He was adopted at birth and was told at 5 years of age that he was adopted. We really started the search for medical history because we had 2 young children. When we found his birth mom, through a free program called Reunite, we also found out that his birth father was living with her. The story went that his birth parents split up after his mom found out she was pregnant because their parents made them. The father married the mother's best friend and had 2 daughters, and the mother married his cousin and had 2 sons. Around 20 years later they ran into each other and had both been recently divorced. They fell back in love and are still together to this day, 17 years after finding each other again. So my husband gained a whole family from just one phone call. It is so amazing that they are together after all of that. They live about 2 hours away and we see them often, not as much as in the beginning but around holidays and birthdays.

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spolied

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April 3, 2009, 1:34 pm PDT

SAD

About 7yrs ago i meet the man that helpput me on this earth. im glad that i did.he didnt have much too say

when i told him that i was his daughter. all he could say is that im on workcop. i told him i wasnt lookin 4 money but too close a hole in my heart & door. i am glad that i meet him i feel sorry that he will never know me my boys & my grandbabys. i do have a dad & father that i have know for 44years that is the man that i will allways LOVE. my boys know that he didnt make me & we dont care we LOVE him .he is the only grandfather that they know& the only father i want too know.

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jinx2u

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hopeful

April 3, 2009, 2:11 pm PDT

We just had that call

We just had that call, not more than a week ago, a call for my husband was the daughter he left behind in a bad marriage break up 30 years ago. She was 9 month old baby and the Mother remarried quickly, we were never sure if the child was brought up knowing that she had another Dad.

When I told he He was not home and she hesitated I asked "Where you looking for you Farther" she was in shock the I knew of her.

We are planning to meet in May, My husband may not be able to be a parent to her, but if she is willing to open her life to us, we can be friends.

I was never able to meet my biological farther and I wish that I had that chance.

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buffylady75

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confused

April 3, 2009, 2:12 pm PDT

long lost mothers, who they really are?

My mother walked out on me and my brothers as well, but i was about 10 and now am 34, havent seen her, about 6 years ago, got ahold of one of my mothers sister who contacted her and she said she didnt want anything to do with me or my brothers... I have 3 daughters of my own, and I dont understand it... how a mother could walk out on her only daughter and leave me with my father that was abusing me... it makes no sense to me... cuz i would do anything for my daughters and I couldnt ever imagine just up and walking out on them... but i didnt let that stop me, I have been on my own since i was 13, I had it rought but then got married to an alcoholic for 9 years then finally got the courage to leave him and I did take my girls.... We are blessed and happier now than we have ever been... I grew up without a mother and father, Its her lose to not be apart of my life, yea it hurts... but I know its not my fault and God has blessed me with my girls and the person I have became today. But secretly, I have always wanted to just run into her, just to see if she would recognize me, not even say anything...just to see how she would look at me, someone thats a stranger to her. But the truth is, the only way Ill ever get to see my mother, is at her funeral!!!! How is she going to explain to God, that she walked out and never felt regret for it? But for those of you out there that dont have your mother in your life.... life goes on, dont let it consume you!!

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bwriter09

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April 3, 2009, 3:15 pm PDT

To Wendy

Wendy--
I just want to tell you how wonderful you are and you do not need that selfish woman in your life. Shame on her. It is her loss. I hope she reads these boards. You reap what you sow.

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jennasksphil

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Touched

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April 3, 2009, 3:20 pm PDT

This one hit close to home

Am adopted and spent 6 years looking for my birth parents. Long story. Found them. Great ending. For years since then, I've wanted to find a way to use my experience and passion for finding love ones to help others. Wish I could work with 'The Locator' to help those searching in Canada.

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