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Topic : 04/16 Scary Trends: Is Your Child at Risk?

Number of Replies: 71
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Created on : Thursday, April 09, 2009, 06:17:25 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents, this show is appointment television! Sexting, a scary new trend where teens send nude or semi-nude photos via cell phone, is popping up throughout the country. But what kids don't realize is that this seemingly innocent act could change their lives forever. Julia recently learned that her 13-year-old daughter texted a provocative photo of herself to a boy, and he forwarded it to his friends. The situation spiraled out of control and nearly ended in tragedy. Find out why Julia says she overreacted, and learn how to approach this situation if it strikes your family. Then, Dr. Phil talks one on one with the teen. Will his words give her a new outlook on the situation? Next, Ben, 14, was threatened with charges after sending a naked photo on his cell phone. Should teens be arrested for sexting? Attorney Lisa Bloom, In Session anchor and special correspondent for BettyConfidential.com, shares her thoughts. You may be surprised to hear what she says. If you're a parent who wants to monitor your kid's cell phone and computer activity, don’t miss the newest ways to stay one step ahead of the trends. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 16, 2009, 2:00 pm CDT

sexting

I agree with many of the posts here, that we need to also hold the girls responsible for this.

 

I worked with sexual offenders in the past, it is interesting how many boys get charged with a sexual crime due to age differences when the girls do not.  The boys that are with a older girl are given a "at a boy" attitude, the boys with a younger girl are charged with a sex crime.  Few women are charged with this unless it is a high profile case.

 

I am grateful that Dr. Phil and others are discussing this subject.  Otherwise, it may have stayed underground for a long time.

 

J.

 
April 16, 2009, 2:26 pm CDT

disgusted

 
April 16, 2009, 2:26 pm CDT

How COULD you, Julia??


Julia...I am blown away.  I still don't think she understands how she has hurt her daughter on top of what the poor girl went through.

To be more concerned about YOURSELF and how others SEE you than about the scars her daughter now bears is indefensible.  AND NOT A VERY CHRISTIAN WAY TO BEHAVE. 

Normally I might be able to forgive a person who made that kind of mistake (Julia), but her daughter has clearly internalized the mother's shame.  AND THAT IS NOT OK.

You have hurt your child  with your selfishness, Julia.  So you live in a small town--this could be a VERY good "teachable moment" for members of your community and your church. If they cannot or will not come to understand that people who make the kind of mistake your daughter made and begin to focus on what HAPPENED to her and how it is affecting her, then you should RUN, not walk, to a more LOVING church family.

Your daughter needs to be enveloped by love, not chastised for a decision that ended up hurting her.  I'm afraid she lost the parent lottery.  You have a lot of work to do if you really want to help your daughter, now that you have added to her problems.

And to the parents of boys?? GET A GRIP!!  Your kid may never pressure a girl into doing something she doesnt' want to do, but you have CLEARLY forgotten your OWN childhood if you think the BOYS in this case do not deserve to be punished. No one is blaming YOUR kid...but the biological imperative to procreate begins to take over boys' minds at puberty.  This means they learn to throw out the net and see what they can catch, because the law of averages tells us that they WILL eventually achieve success the more attempts they make. 

And their ARE lots of vulnerable girls--we have a bad habit in this country of NOT showing girls how to be CONFIDENT enough not to fall for boys' HOOEY.  Kids are vulnerable to these efforts (pedophiles use the same tactics and NO I'm not calling YOUR kids pedophiles) because they don't feel secure in who they are, their parents don't really engage with them, their parents are working out their OWN crap instead of nurturing their kids the way they should (ie, selfishness.)  and on and on.

Love your kids, or soemone else will.  And love in this case is not a FEELING. It is a set of behaviors that teaches your kids how to be healthy and happy, and eventually self-sustaining adults.  Ask Dr. Phil what these behaviors are. He'll tell you.

 It is a scientific fact that when a man is aroused he makes poor decsions with his brain.
 
April 16, 2009, 2:29 pm CDT

scary trends

Let us not show our children that there are consequences to their actions.
 
April 16, 2009, 2:30 pm CDT

04/16 Scary Trends: Is Your Child at Risk?

Quote From: wubbie

I agree with many of the posts here, that we need to also hold the girls responsible for this.

 

I worked with sexual offenders in the past, it is interesting how many boys get charged with a sexual crime due to age differences when the girls do not.  The boys that are with a older girl are given a "at a boy" attitude, the boys with a younger girl are charged with a sex crime.  Few women are charged with this unless it is a high profile case.

 

I am grateful that Dr. Phil and others are discussing this subject.  Otherwise, it may have stayed underground for a long time.

 

J.


More men are charged with this crime because more men OFFEND.

It is NEVER OK to be sexual with a kid--our brains do not fully develop until we are in our mid TWENTIES, and the part of the brain that is SLOWEST to finish up is the part involved in good decision-making.

Kids CANNOT necessarily make good choices in these areas, hence the statutory rape statutes.

I'm done here...this is making me sick.
 
April 16, 2009, 2:35 pm CDT

Mom, help daughter overcome shame

Someone please help "Brittany" overcome the pain of the so-called shame her mother feels. I brought shame to my Mother at 15. She told me she would never be able to walk our streets with her head up again. I am 52 years old now and I still can't forget those words. I also have been through 3 marriages.

Help her Dr. Phil
 
April 16, 2009, 2:37 pm CDT

04/16 Scary Trends: Is Your Child at Risk?

This is SO the wrong approach... SHE IS NOT a victim ..... SHE needs to go to JAIL .... and have to register as a sex offender... the parents should be held responcible for NOT watching the kids ... this could have been alot worse and still could be ... I am tired of this "Kids will ne kids" mentality ... you do an ADULT crime you do ADULT time..... I have NO sympathy for someone who can not step up for themseles .. if she can not deal with peer pressure ..., if she or anyone else does this who knows what she gets older ... those pictures are THERE they will NEVER go away ... NEVER... SHe WILL have to live with this for the rest of her life and her parents as well
 
April 16, 2009, 2:40 pm CDT

DR PHIL Shame on you!

I am disappointed in your generalization that all boys are manipulative,  mean-spirited  sex-addicts that pressure girls act inappropriately.

I am a mother of 2 boys and my older son has experienced very aggressive older girls bothering him to the point that he wanted to move and was distraught by her pushy behavior. When my son rejected her advances she became verbally and physically abusive.  This is not the only incident, since moving, we have experienced similar but not as extreme situations with girls being the aggressors.

Please be fair - stop vilifying boys.  I am not discrediting this girls feelings/emotions of shame & sadness, nor am I accepting the boys' behavior. But, this would not have happened if the photo was not taken or sent in the first place.  She is just as responsible as he the boys are in this situation.

I am very sympathetic to the peer pressure girls experience to do things they are not necessarily comfortable or proud of.  I was pressured into sex as a teen and ashamed and ostresized later by the boy that pressured me.  But, as an adult & mother of a pre-teen boy, I am also experiencing another perspective.  I am teaching my son to respect himself & others, to be empathetic and to understand that he has to accept responsibility and/or consequences for his actions.

Seriously, this topic is important but, it seems in this intsance your approach is very one-sided.



 
April 16, 2009, 2:54 pm CDT

04/16 Scary Trends: Is Your Child at Risk?

Quote From: shelly_80

I couldn't have said it any better, myself.  Girl's need to be held responsible for sending the photo/message, as boys need to be held responsible for entising them to do so.  I'm 28, so I've officially graduated to "old school" thank you Jesus, but I can't understand why these girls don't think about the fact that everyone they send the content to, is forwarding it to others with every intention to sabitage their self esteem, character, reputation as well as many other things that determine who they are as an individual.  I think these girls are much smarter than they let theirself believe, but they have a serious amout of insecurity and are trying to find it in their peers.  Unfortunately, their peers have ulterior motives and want nothing more than to see how far these girls are willing to go to become "accepted." I hate to say it but they're failing, miserably.
Don't  just blame it on the boys! These girls know what they are doing. What ever happened to being responsible for your own actions. Put the blame where it started. And parents who is the parent you our your kids. If you give a cell phone to a child then things will happen. My kids never got a cell phone till they were old enough to pay for it them selves (Jobs and 18 yrs old.) Its called responsibility.
 
April 16, 2009, 2:57 pm CDT

upset

I'm truely upset and discouraged by your bias representation of "sexting"... You not once mentioned that the girl of the picture (that ben or brian?) forwarded was in anyway responsible for that picture being out in the first place. I feel that  your comments about being less "forgiving" or "accepting" of him than your previous interviewee is obsurb.  Why not hold the girl who allowed the photo to get out/be taken be critically reprehanded.  Of course forwarding the picture wasn't a smart decision but he wouldn't have had access to it in the first place had the girl objected to it being taken...  Once you take ANY photo in the digital age you should be aware that is going to be other there... FOREVER. and accessable to anyone and everyone.

 

 Isn't the bigger issue that these girls (and guys) are TAKING these pictures in the first place? 

 
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