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Topic : 04/16 Scary Trends: Is Your Child at Risk?

Number of Replies: 71
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Created on : Thursday, April 09, 2009, 06:17:25 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents, this show is appointment television! Sexting, a scary new trend where teens send nude or semi-nude photos via cell phone, is popping up throughout the country. But what kids don't realize is that this seemingly innocent act could change their lives forever. Julia recently learned that her 13-year-old daughter texted a provocative photo of herself to a boy, and he forwarded it to his friends. The situation spiraled out of control and nearly ended in tragedy. Find out why Julia says she overreacted, and learn how to approach this situation if it strikes your family. Then, Dr. Phil talks one on one with the teen. Will his words give her a new outlook on the situation? Next, Ben, 14, was threatened with charges after sending a naked photo on his cell phone. Should teens be arrested for sexting? Attorney Lisa Bloom, In Session anchor and special correspondent for BettyConfidential.com, shares her thoughts. You may be surprised to hear what she says. If you're a parent who wants to monitor your kid's cell phone and computer activity, don’t miss the newest ways to stay one step ahead of the trends. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 16, 2009, 7:23 pm CDT

I fully agree

Quote From: twintwin1

    I don't think the boys should be to blame for sending the pictures. I will say they were wrong but the girls are the ones that put themselves into the situation to begin with. I truly believe that they knew what would happen. I would say shame on them and the boys. As far as the young lady that tried to kill herself it is a sad thing but the boy should not be to blame.
Of course the boys shouln`t be sending these pictures, but the girls shouldn`t be posing for them either. These girls bear some of the responsibility.
 
April 16, 2009, 7:47 pm CDT

Couldn`t agree more!

Quote From: tessasm

Dr. Phil, I say parents don't need to be giving their childrens cell phones. Only a teen should have a phone and only if the parent and teen have discused the pro's and con's and the responsibility of what that cell phone would be used for. Parents should be reminded that a cell phone is not a neccessity it's a LUXURY item. Cell phones are a privilege not a right and are for adults and teens that have earned that right.
Too many children have had a cell phone entitled mentality bred into them by over indulgent parents. Sexting can be stopped by replacing the fancy phones with those without camera and texting features.
 
April 16, 2009, 8:00 pm CDT

I agree

Quote From: lorikrist

Girls should be responsible for their actions.  I don't blame the boy for anything.  How stupid is somebody that would send a naked picture of themself and not expect any consequences!!!  I also believe parents should be more involved with their children and know what is going on.  It stems from the upbringing and home communication.

It is beyond stupid of any girl to give risque pictures of herself to a boy and expect him to keep them to himself. When you give someone something, it is theirs to do with as they wish.
 
April 16, 2009, 8:06 pm CDT

WHY ALL THE FREEDOM

TEENS AND ESPECIALLY CHILDREN DO NOT NEED CELL PHONES. PARENTS ARE GIVING THEM TO MUCH FREEDOM TO EXPERIMENT WITH TECHNOLOGY. SIT AND MONITOR THE COMPUTER TIME AND IF YOU FEEL THEY NEED A CELL PHONE THEN GIVE THEM THE BASIC. WHY DO THEY NEED TEXT AND PHOTO MESSAGE? IF THEY NEED THE PHONE FOR AN EMERGINCY THEY CAN TEXT OR SEND A PHOTO TO 911 NOW CAN THEY. THE BIG QUESTION IS WHERE ARE THE PARENTS AND WHAT ARE THEY THINKING WHEN THEY GIVE THEIR KIDS WHAT THEY WANT BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE HAS IT. LETS GO BACK TO THE OLD SAYING "IF THEY JUMPED OFF THE BRIDGE ARE YOU GOING TO?"
 
April 16, 2009, 8:09 pm CDT

give me a break

first i want to say i am the mother of a daugter and a son so i am looking at it from both sides...i think you miss the boat on this one...the girl is totally to blame ...what would have happened 10-20 years ago if a girl took a picture and gave it to her boyfriend...you KNOW he is going to show his friends!  Its no different with a phone...its important to teach your kids right from wrong but it is equally important to teach your kids how to deal with consequences that may come about when we make a wrong decision...sometimes children make a bad choices! If the boys are held respondsible for anything other than making a bad decision it would be a joke!   Dr. PhiI, I cant believe that you r holding the boy respondsible for forwarding a text  he recieved and asking him if he thought about how it would humiliate the girl...OMG... ofcourse he wouldnt think about that, hes 13...maybe you should punish the girl for taking the pic, deciding that she is going to send it and then sending it to a boy..why didnt SHE think of the consiquences?  Oh yeah shes a kid.  If you could hold a boy respondsible for forwarding a text pic to his friends, then i would think that i could prosecute a girl for sending a nude picture to my son,-- which would be insane.-- It just a bad choice...and we as parents should use it to teach our children.   

 When the girl was crying saying "how am i going to go to school and face everybody"...jeez...r u kidding...you should have told her to face it like any other child thats made a bad choice...what about a pregnant girl..what about a girl who slept with a boy and now hes telling everyone, what about a child who has really bad acne and get abused everyday by others, what about a child who is teased because of a disability...children face tough times everyday!...its sad and a shame that she will be looked at differently for awhile... but that is it!  gosh what would she do if something really , really bad happened in her life. Her mother needs to get a grip, if she wouldnt have made such a big deal out of it and would have just givin her daughter support and coping skills, she would have never tried to commit suicide. i will certainly inform and teach my kids what could happen with personal pictures...paper or phone! 

 
April 16, 2009, 8:42 pm CDT

Sexting...

Hello everyone!  I'm new to the Dr. Phil message board, but after watching today's show regarding "sexting" I found myself feeling frustrated with the whole topic.  I'm a 23 year old military wife from a small town in Texas, currently in Washington state, and never have I experienced anything like this.  It is sad what this world has come to, rather, this country, in all of the ridiculous events that could be prevented.  When I was younger, no one ever had a cell phone until maybe sophmore/junior year of high school.  I realize that technology is way more advanced now than even 5 or 6 years ago, but I truly believe that parents should have all of the control in this matter!!  Lay down the lines; there are ways to keep kids from "sexting"!!  Also, I disagree with Dr. Phil when he says that some of these kids are victims.  I can see how someone can be a victim of humiliation, but what are these kids thinking when they even decide to take these pictures and send them?  If they don't want the humilitation, then DON'T DO IT and put yourself in that situation!!  By no means am I saying that the "victims" deserve the humiliation, but as a teen/tween, or whatever other term is used to describe kids, they should be taught what is right and wrong and what the consequences are!  This whole subject is so ridiculous and frustrating to me. 

 
April 16, 2009, 8:45 pm CDT

04/16 Scary Trends: Is Your Child at Risk?

Quote From: nomosnow

first i want to say i am the mother of a daugter and a son so i am looking at it from both sides...i think you miss the boat on this one...the girl is totally to blame ...what would have happened 10-20 years ago if a girl took a picture and gave it to her boyfriend...you KNOW he is going to show his friends!  Its no different with a phone...its important to teach your kids right from wrong but it is equally important to teach your kids how to deal with consequences that may come about when we make a wrong decision...sometimes children make a bad choices! If the boys are held respondsible for anything other than making a bad decision it would be a joke!   Dr. PhiI, I cant believe that you r holding the boy respondsible for forwarding a text  he recieved and asking him if he thought about how it would humiliate the girl...OMG... ofcourse he wouldnt think about that, hes 13...maybe you should punish the girl for taking the pic, deciding that she is going to send it and then sending it to a boy..why didnt SHE think of the consiquences?  Oh yeah shes a kid.  If you could hold a boy respondsible for forwarding a text pic to his friends, then i would think that i could prosecute a girl for sending a nude picture to my son,-- which would be insane.-- It just a bad choice...and we as parents should use it to teach our children.   

 When the girl was crying saying "how am i going to go to school and face everybody"...jeez...r u kidding...you should have told her to face it like any other child thats made a bad choice...what about a pregnant girl..what about a girl who slept with a boy and now hes telling everyone, what about a child who has really bad acne and get abused everyday by others, what about a child who is teased because of a disability...children face tough times everyday!...its sad and a shame that she will be looked at differently for awhile... but that is it!  gosh what would she do if something really , really bad happened in her life. Her mother needs to get a grip, if she wouldnt have made such a big deal out of it and would have just givin her daughter support and coping skills, she would have never tried to commit suicide. i will certainly inform and teach my kids what could happen with personal pictures...paper or phone! 

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!  This whole show was so frustrating to me because I too did not feel like the blame or punishments were where they should've been!
 
April 16, 2009, 9:19 pm CDT

How did things go so wrong?!

I watched today's show on "sexting" and I am very disappointed by the point of view that Dr. Phil took with these kids.  There is a much bigger problem underneath the issues that many kids face today and I personnally feel that it is mainly a lack of taking personal responsibility for one's own actions.  Why are these boys being blamed for the actions that the girls took, in part to display themselves by sending nude photo's of their own body?   And why do these young girls not vaule themselves enough, to know that putting anything on a cell-phone or internet, is to put yourself out there publicly, for all the world to see? 
     As a parent myself to a boy & girl, I was extremely upset by the entire show and quite disappointed that Dr. Phil did not go into detail about the underlining issues, that kids today are not being taught to value themselves and their own body's.  And that there is such a great lack of personal ownership into their own actions and having to deal with the consequences of those actions.  As a parent, if you are going to give a cell-phone to a child, then you have to teach them the responsibilities that go with it and make them aware of the consequences to the choices they may make, in sending nude photos of themselves. 
     In general, we are raising a generation of kids, who lack in so many areas.  We do not teach our children to value themselves, we take from them, the lessons of sometimes having to learn the hard way - when we bail them out or place the blame on someone else for the choices they made.  It saddens me.  And I have to wonder where we have gone wrong as a whole society.   Things are just getting out of hand and I honestly don't see it getting any better in the future and that scares me for own children because I can only control what I have chosen to teach them in our household and I am fully aware that the outside world, works completely different. 
    
 
April 16, 2009, 9:22 pm CDT

An angry mother

I am very upset how that young man is being treated. First of all, these girls today need to accept responsibility for their actions. Parents also! I noticed the 13 year girl had her nails done. At 13? My daughter was never allowed to have those until she was 17. Girls today think it's cute to show their mid-drift or expose their breasts and parents allow it!! Why aren't parents monitoring what their children are wearing. A thong or Victoria Secrets? WOW!!!! If they feel they are grown enough to take the picture and send it , then their old enough to except the consequences! Why should the boys be in trouble, they are acting like normal boys. Maybe what these girls need is a little humiliation or at least the parents do. Pay attention to your kids!!!!!!!! I had a friends niece commit suicide at 16 because of the pressures of other kids and to me and her , the parents weren't involved in the children's life. The let them grow up to fast. Kids need to be kids and act like them.
 
April 16, 2009, 9:30 pm CDT

Sexting just the tip of the iceberg!

This sexting is only a small part of the issue. It is bad enough prosecutors are willing to destroy teens' lives over this behavior, we are doing far worse, labeling kids as young as age 4, branding them sexual deviants!

http://www.oncefallen.com/CriminalizingTeenSex.html

Now, the Adam Walsh Act allows teens as young as age 14 on the NATIONAL registry for such behaviors as sexting or consensual teen sex. Sad, huh? See the stories listed in the link I just posted. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will!
 
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