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Topic : 08/17 Child with a Child

Number of Replies: 69
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Created on : Thursday, April 16, 2009, 03:20:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/20/09) Little Gabriel is just 13 months old, and he’s caught in the middle of a troubling situation. His 18-year-old mother, Meghann, lives at home with her folks and constantly fights with the rest of the family. Her parents and sister say she doesn’t pay enough attention to her child, she’s irresponsible and that she’s put Gabriel in danger. The teenage mom says her relatives just won’t give her a chance, and she needs to get out -- but how? Find out why the police paid a late night visit to the family home, and what Meghann’s mom found in Meghann’s purse that stoked her fears about Gabriel’s safety. Plus, this isn’t the only household with several generations living under one roof. If the economic downturn has driven your family into close quarters, you won’t want to miss this show! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 20, 2009, 3:43 pm CDT

Exactly why

Quote From: manofgoods

I can give you an answer. It's because...there are some (or many) girls & women that have sex with so many men that they can't figure out who their fathers of their children are (ever watch some talk shows with paternity tests?). A child will always know who his/her mother is, but the biological father turns out to be a different case because of them. For those that are fathers of their children, there are many of them that refuse to take care of them, & I agree with you on that part, though.
Sex shnuld be saved for a committed relationship!
 
April 20, 2009, 4:17 pm CDT

To Meghann's Parents (Child With A Child)

GET A BACKBONE.  You are Meghann's parents and all you can say is she won't do this she won't do that.  Hello people it is your home and most importantly your grandchild.  You need to make her take responsibility and if she doesn't you owe it to your grandchild to take proper action.  If that means you have to take Meghann to court and take the baby because she is unfit, so be it.  The baby cannot speak for itself and your daughter is 18 she can.  If you do not, I promise you it will only get worse.

 

Ironically, your story is similar to my parents' story.  This is how their nightmare started.  When my older sister 16 and I was 14 (now I am 28 and my sister, 30)  she got pregnant.  My parents thought it was best that my sister have an abortion and so did my sister.  So she did.  After the fact  I expressed my anger to them for what they had done.  My sister claimed to be soooo upset over the ordeal and swore she would not let it happen again.  My parents said they wanted to give her a second chance at a good life and if she had a baby at 16 she would not be able to do so.  I don't care what others do, but when it came to my sister having an abortion, I was furious and hurt. 

 

Seven months later my sister got pregnant with my neice.  Once she was born my sister did nothing with her.  My mom would come home from work and my neice would be in her playpen with food all over the place and bottles of curdled milk where my sister kept her in there all day.  As my neice gets older my sister gets worse.  She had my neice when she first turned 18 and now she is 30 and she still lives with my parents.  Over the years my parents would keep my neice for weeks at a time (during the few occasions that my sister managed to move out for a month or two at a time).  I would get angry at them because all my parents could say was well we try to make her take care of the baby and she won't so someone has to.  I did not have a problem with them taking care of my neice, however; I had a big problem with them supporting my sister and her boyfriend even though they were not taking care of my neice my parents were.  I moved home (from WV to OH) when I was four months pregnant.  Granted it was myself and my son's dad.  I was 17 and he was 19.  We payed my parents rent, I cleaned up after everyone(including my sister family), and my son's dad did all the yard work in order to pay our own way.  We moved out 10 months later when our son was 6 months old.  My parents continued to do everything for my neice and my neice started looking a my mom like she was her mom.  My parents continued saying well we cant make her do anything even though (like Meghann) it was their house. 

 

When my neice turned four, my sister got pregnant again, and again my parents payed for yet another abortion.  Their defense was that she did not take care of the one she had.  After that less than one year later my sister got pregnant and had my nephew.  Can you guess who raises him.  That's right, my parents.  Now my neice is 11 and my nephew is 6.  My sister, who dropped out of high school at 18, still lives with my parents.  She never has went back to finish high school, she does not work, she doesn't clean, and she doesn't cook for her children very often.  My parents support her and her children 100% and now they are older and realize they are not going to live forever.  So they wonder what my sister will do.  They created that monster themselves by not giving and following through with consequences  for her actions.  Instead they chose to support her while enabling her (like you are enabling Meghann) to be worthless and do nothing to better herself.  Chew on that awhile and think to yourselves is supporting her and not demanding her to do something to help herself really going to be beneficial.  It's crystal clear, NO.  My opinion on what you should so is set some standards and rules and if they are not followed then give her a notice to move out.  If she moves out and doesn't take care of the baby despite all your efforts, then take her to court.  Be the child's voice.  In my opinion if my parents would of listened to some of the advice they were given maybe my sister would be a better mom, daughter, sister, and friend.

 

Last but not least I think that you both should watch what you say, your daughter does need support in order to succeed.  Don't fail her now.

 
April 20, 2009, 4:18 pm CDT

It's time to grow up

I had my first child at 13,my second baby was stillborn at 15,my 3rd and last baby was born when I was 18.
I raised my babies on my own,went to school and even some college,before going to work at a job I loved.
My daughters are now 31 and 26,the oldest works full time and has been married for 17 yrs and has given me 3 beautiful Grandbabies.My youngest is in college studying to become a forensic psycologist and has
a 2 yr old sweetpea I take care of everyday so she can achieve her goals in life.She graduates in June with honors.
Yes,it was very hard,but if you play with matches your bound to get burned.My first pregnancy was the result of a rape,but that did'nt make me love her less or want to abort her like my Mom wanted.She was MY baby,
and has always been the joy of my life.This girl was 18 when she had her baby,she should be grown up enough to cope,especially since she has family to help.I had nobody but me,and I did it.
Now my children take care of me because I am disabled and can no longer do a lot of things for myself.
Grow up and take responsibility fo4r your actions.
 
April 20, 2009, 4:20 pm CDT

Hello

This girls parents need to be evaluated as well. This girl has plenty to figure out for sure. The parents show no love or emotion towards her. The only thing I pick up from the parents is almost a hatred. I am so glad that this was brought to Dr. Phil's attention, cause this could of been another little Caylee case. You cannot as a grandparent try to take over every single act of being a parent without positive reinforcement for the Mother herself. The daughter really needs help, but so do her parents. To just laugh off a suicide and also to make fun of her cutting. My personal opinion is for her to get her self into check and check her independence out of such a negative household. I thought that her Mother was going to grinned her teeth right out of her head when looking and speaking of her daughter. Im praying for them all.
 
April 20, 2009, 4:47 pm CDT

Remove

Quote From: molissa1979

I dont know how nobody seen this girl is depressed!!! How can any of you say anything? I am 29 yrs old now, I had my 1st at 17. It is very hard. I know how it feels for your family to be CONSTANTLY telling you what a bad job you're doing and what a bad mother you are!! I think people should stop being so self-righteous! Didn't anybody notice how demeaning her parents and sister were?
 
I think these girls need to be removed from these parents home!!!!
 
April 20, 2009, 5:39 pm CDT

Abstinence vs. safe sex

Quote From: cadescove99

Sex shnuld be saved for a committed relationship!

I agree 100%. It is extremely upsetting that abstinence is no longer taught in schools, but the use of birth control pills and condoms are.  It really does anger me that kids are basically told "you can have sex, just make sure you use at condom."  Or, "you can have sex but, let's go to the ob gyn and get you some pills first."  It makes me wonder, do kids even know the meaning of the word "abstinence?"

 

For the most part, I don't  think teens (boys and girls) are even taking into "real" consideration the possibility of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.  Simply because most teens have a "that'll never happen to me" attitude. But they eventually find out differently.  It only takes ONE TIME and life as a teenager is over! 

 

I wish teens were encouraged to do "teen things," like going bowling, catching a movie, or finding a mutal hang out spot, instead of having safe sex, because if you think about it there really is no such thing as "safe sex."  Abstinence, on the other hand, is the best form of birth control anyone can teach a child. Because with abstinence you know 100% you will not get pregnant.  I've heard adults/parents say, "well they're going to do it anyway, they might as well be using protection."  REALITY CHECK! Condoms break more often than not and pills don't protect against STD"s!

 

That's just my take on things, others have different points of view.

 
April 20, 2009, 5:58 pm CDT

04/20 Child with a Child

Quote From: myisha26

I am a mother to 5 children. 4 are mine a 1 of my husbands with someone else. I had my first child a 16. My mother told me this is my child and meant it. I worked at McDonald's for 2 years. I was luck my fathers wife watched her while I finished high school. But mid night feed I did, if I wanted to go out I had to find someone. No one bought me a car, or place to stay. And her father was never there. I made it and turned out to be a great mother. Somethings I would change but we are alive. This story is making me sick. This girl is 18! Let her take care of this child alone. If she is messing up so bad call CPS. If you are gonna be the babies parents then get off her case. Because you are gonna turn this poor girl into a half ass mother. Let her do it alone. I wish I could be on this show to tell these people how it should be. I have 2 friends with parents like these and they are not the best mothers they can be. 1 friend just had a new baby and now since this is the first time she has had to do it with no help (3rd child) she took a bottle of pills because it was too hard. These parent that need to do everything for these teen moms need to have their own babies. Grannd parents should give advice but not try to over rule the real parent and stop making everything so easy. Babies will not break if they make a mistake or two. Make these teen mothers grow up!
I so agree with you!! Not 1 of these people on here can say they've never made any mistakes with their children!
 
April 20, 2009, 6:08 pm CDT

Nowhere in her post did she claim tn be perfect

Quote From: molissa1979

I dont think you were perfect in knowing what to do at 19 either!!!
Doing the right thing does not require perfection.
 
April 20, 2009, 7:20 pm CDT

04/20 Child with a Child

Quote From: shelly_80

I agree 100%. It is extremely upsetting that abstinence is no longer taught in schools, but the use of birth control pills and condoms are.  It really does anger me that kids are basically told "you can have sex, just make sure you use at condom."  Or, "you can have sex but, let's go to the ob gyn and get you some pills first."  It makes me wonder, do kids even know the meaning of the word "abstinence?"

 

For the most part, I don't  think teens (boys and girls) are even taking into "real" consideration the possibility of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.  Simply because most teens have a "that'll never happen to me" attitude. But they eventually find out differently.  It only takes ONE TIME and life as a teenager is over! 

 

I wish teens were encouraged to do "teen things," like going bowling, catching a movie, or finding a mutal hang out spot, instead of having safe sex, because if you think about it there really is no such thing as "safe sex."  Abstinence, on the other hand, is the best form of birth control anyone can teach a child. Because with abstinence you know 100% you will not get pregnant.  I've heard adults/parents say, "well they're going to do it anyway, they might as well be using protection."  REALITY CHECK! Condoms break more often than not and pills don't protect against STD"s!

 

That's just my take on things, others have different points of view.

Teens don`t consider the consequences of sex because their brains are still developing. As dr phil pointed out brains aren`t finished growing until age 24 or 25. This is why some teens do immature things.
 
April 20, 2009, 8:49 pm CDT

Stressed out Grandma

My daughter got pregnant with twins when she was 17, after she was already struggling being a mother to these two precious children she got pregnant within a year.  Now she has 3 children whom she seem to have no emotional attachment too exept in public or when people come over.  She sleeps through her children crying and I was so worried at work because she was home alone with the girls and I could not get in touch with her, I drove home in tears.  The kids were still alive but no diapers had been changed and they had torn up some books.  Since then she is not left alone with them......Now she is starting to treat us like garbage....help me...what did we do wrong??by the way all three children are from the same dad
 
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