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Topic : 08/24 How to Get to "I Do"

Number of Replies: 32
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Created on : Friday, April 17, 2009, 09:43:37 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/24/09) For many girls, a fairytale wedding day is a sweet fantasy -- but getting the proposal can be a real nightmare! Amber and Rich are struggling through commitment issues. They live, work and have children together, and say they're happy but can't seem to take the next step. Rich sold Amber on his plan to marry her after five years, so why hasn't he proposed after nearly seven? Does he have valid reasons for resisting marriage? After Dr. Phil challenges him, will Rich decide to walk down the aisle ... on Dr. Phil's stage? Next, Jill has taken the leap and been divorced seven times. Why does she pick the wrong men, and what can she do to make her next union last? Then, Candy describes her first marriage as lasting 18 miserable years, and she regrets how she poisoned her daughters against men during that time. What will it take to change her daughter, who calls herself the Runaway Bride? Plus, a don't-miss moment happens in Dr. Phil's audience! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 25, 2009, 10:21 am CDT

Dr Phil, we are getting tired of all this politically correct, blame-it-all-on-the-guys bullpoop!

It's been evident, since he first started his show, that Dr Phil usually took the women's side. And, it's been especially evident in a few of this pasts month's shows.
Such as his latest one on "sexting". He blamed everything on the boy and placed no responsiblity on the girl who started it by sending him her picture. And, the message board was filled with posts disagreeing with his bias in her favor.
Then, on yesterday's show, he told Candy she was in no way responsible for her daughter's fear of commitment. But, who stayed in that unhappy marriage for 18 years? And, went through an intense man-hating phase? Candy! Blamed it all on her ex-husband.
This polically correct, blame-the-guys-for-everything approach might score points with some women but it doesn't with me.
What scores with me is the tell-it-like-it-is-and-let-the-chips-fall-where-they-will approach.


 
April 25, 2009, 5:10 pm CDT

Didn`t notice the missing clause

Quote From: october10449

During the segment of the show where the couple was being married by the Baptist preacher I noticed that the clause "and forsaking all others" was upsettingly missing from the vows. Is this something new?

I`ll have to give it another listen. That clause doesn`t seem to mean anything to many people taking their wedding vows. You know how many marriages end in adultery. The clause doesn`t keep couples faithful. Their values do.
 
April 25, 2009, 5:22 pm CDT

You don`t think

Quote From: mama2ark

Hi, I'm Amber, the girl from the show.  And I just wanted to share a few thoughts.  Please don't feel angry at Dr. Phil and Robin, we are the most grateful for every bit of the entire experience.  We both certainly were on the spot.  But if you only knew us and knew our whole story, you would understand that this, even though an untraditional wedding, was the perfect start for our marriage.  Everyone we know is sharing how they've never seen us so happy before.  It's been a great start!  As for our children, we are incorporating them, because without a doubt, they are our priority in life.  We are having a wedding "reception" bringing all of our family and friends together to share this awesome moment, and "our family" is the focus.  As far as the comment regarding a sterile ceremony.  Yes...it was unexpected and unplanned.  But as the wedding started, we honostly felt "in the moment".  We genuinlly love each each other.  The sad thing is that people expect everyone to be perfect, and our relationship works because we love each other through thick and thin.

 

Much Love (for Dr. Phil & Robin),

 

Amber & Rich

Rich had something up his sleeve? After all, there was that preacher already in the audience. Know you`re glad he`s no longer making you do penance for his other wives. And your outfit was adorable.
 
April 26, 2009, 4:15 pm CDT

Suggestion for "what to do?"

Quote From: ericad

I'm so glad they got married! This problem has really hit home with me. I have known my fiance since I was 12 years old and we have been friends forever. We have been together for almost 2 years and engaged for a year and a half. We got engaged 7 months after getting together. Everytime I bring up getting married he replies that he dosent see a need that were happy and together and he dosent want to ruin what we have. He says hes totally commited and he's put a ring on my finger but he wont take the next step to get married! He told me recently he dosent even know if he wants to get married. We live together and have no children and are both only 25 and neither one of us has been married before. I just dont understand why he purposed and now hes avoiding the situation. Were young and I'm not in any hurry to get married but I just want him to set a date even if it's 5 years down the line. I feel like he just dosent want to grow up. Any suggestion?
Yes  -  move out.  You'll get your answer then.
 
April 26, 2009, 4:35 pm CDT

Women seeking marriage

I'm happy this couple got married, & wish them the best.

 

Some questions or observations that came to mind during this show, such as how can a person move in with someone, have children, then start talking about their values.  Huh?

 

How can a lengthy wait hurt one's sense of worth, when accepting those terms to begin with clearly showed little sense of self-worth anyway.

 

Dr. Phil is so right when he says we teach people how to treat us.  Women - quit moving in with your boyfriends!  How can we move in, then act all surprised when we're just roommates with benefits?  Grow up, support yourself, then let a man who is worthy seek you out, instead of accepting crumbs because you're so desperate, or need a father figure, or don't want to work. 

 

It's not men vs. women -  it's being smart vs. being stupid.

 
April 27, 2009, 12:11 pm CDT

Thank you

Quote From: cadescove99

I thought your cute little dress and jacket were just perfect for a surprise wedding. So, how was hawaii?

Thank you so much for the nice comment.  We'll give credit to the staff on this one.  Since they had some "tricks up their sleeves" I think they were trying to make the outfit appropriate for a second time marriage.  (With hopes that we agreed to marry).

 

As for the honeymoon, we plan on going to Hawaii in the Fall.  Our work schedules are too busy during the summer months.

 

Thanks again to EVERYONE with the Dr. Phil show.

 

Much Love,

 

Amber

 
August 21, 2009, 10:11 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Do Doctor Get How I Phil/Robin To That is werid. I will tell you one thing I will never get marry  at all. See----

you on August Monday 24th, 2009. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------

 
August 24, 2009, 8:42 am CDT

WHAT??

I'm sorry, but if I have to beat a guy over the head and ambush him on the Dr. Phil Show to get him to marry me, I don't want him!!

 

Why are some women so darn desperate that they are willing to throw away all self-respect just to have a man...ANY man....stuck to their side. Do they not realize that when you force a guy to marry you, the marriage is pretty well doomed because, ladies: THEY DON'T WANT TO BE THERE AND WILL EVENTUALLY SLITHER AWAY ANYWAY! The fastest way to kill love is to smother it!

 

And speaking of self-respect, how do you dumb women get yourselves into a situation where you are willing to live with a guy, do his laundry, clean his house, have sex with him whenever, have his children, and way too often, financially support his dumb a$$....and then act all hurt and surprised when he avoids any committment like the plague?? Why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk free?  

 

How do you expect him to respect and honor you when you don't even respect yourself? Stop whining, and get the ring on your finger BEFORE you move in together...quit selling yourself short.

 

Like Dr. Phil has said a million times: "You teach people how to treat you."

 
August 24, 2009, 8:52 am CDT

Thank God no kids

Quote From: ericad

I'm so glad they got married! This problem has really hit home with me. I have known my fiance since I was 12 years old and we have been friends forever. We have been together for almost 2 years and engaged for a year and a half. We got engaged 7 months after getting together. Everytime I bring up getting married he replies that he dosent see a need that were happy and together and he dosent want to ruin what we have. He says hes totally commited and he's put a ring on my finger but he wont take the next step to get married! He told me recently he dosent even know if he wants to get married. We live together and have no children and are both only 25 and neither one of us has been married before. I just dont understand why he purposed and now hes avoiding the situation. Were young and I'm not in any hurry to get married but I just want him to set a date even if it's 5 years down the line. I feel like he just dosent want to grow up. Any suggestion?

Honey, the only "smart" thing you have done in this relationship is not to have children with this man!

 

Get out, go back to school and work towards becoming financially independent so you don't HAVE to have a man in your life, but can CHOOSE one if you want to.

 

Don't get caught in that trap of feeling like you have no choices because you are undereducated or bored or don't know what else to do with yourself.....too many women go there with disastrous results....and please continue to refrain from having children at this point, for your own good and for theirs!

 
August 24, 2009, 7:27 pm CDT

08/24 How to Get to "I Do"

im not saying who i am!!! but i have known rich for a very long time.. he was with someone in my family... he is not to be around children for their safety.. i think n ambers best interest that she should have not married him..!!!!
 
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