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Topic : 04/23 How to Escape a Bad Marriage

Number of Replies: 26
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 17, 2009, 09:45:51 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If you're a woman living in constant fear of an abusive mate, Dr. Phil dedicates this show to you. He documents the tumultuous journey of a mother of four who flees to a shelter to escape what she says is a violent marriage. When Star last appeared on the show, she admitted that she was addicted to prescription drugs and was unfaithful to her husband, Isaac. Now clean and sober for seven months, she says that her problems are just beginning. Star says Isaac is verbally abusive to her and their kids, and he chokes her, slaps her, leaves bruises on her arms and feet and has threatened her life. Dr. Phil cameras follow the fearful mom as she makes the toughest decision of her life. Then, Isaac, who doesn’t know where his wife or children are staying, speaks to Dr. Phil via telephone. Hear his side of the story. Will he reconcile with his wife? Plus, Dr. Phil sits down with Star's 12-year-old daughter. Find out how she says the alleged violence at home affects her. And, if you're in an abusive relationship, Dr. Phil’s steps for escaping could help save your sanity … and your life.

Please note: Star is in a safe and secure location, and not at the location listed on the shelter's Web site.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 23, 2009, 3:43 pm CDT

YOU CANT LEAVE IF THERE IS NO PLACE TO GO!

I want to leave and have been trying to leave for several several months.  The problem is, I can't leave because I have no where else to go. My family does not have us, because they say for one more adult and two kids is hard to have them long term. I don't work, and there is no one hiring. I am mad, angry an hurt. I don't get it. I hope as this show goes on they address that issue! Because you can't always leave.

 
April 23, 2009, 3:43 pm CDT

Thankfully the notice was posted.

Quote From: asbpollard

Thank you for posting the notice that Star isn't at the location listed on the shelter's website. . . . .It concerned me the moment you mentioned the name of the administrator, Lynn Moriarity I quickly google searched her name and came up with a location in Palm Desert.. . . .surely the husband would do the same if he is indeed sinister.

Thankfully the notice was posted.

 

Thankfully all remain safe.

 

Batterers , Abusers are deliberately choosing their actions.

 

Their deeds are an epidemic in this country !!!

 
April 23, 2009, 4:07 pm CDT

Men are victims of domestic violence too.

I know a man whos story sounded exactly like that womans. and those resourses are NOT out there for them. why? cause sosiaty only helps the abused weman. all it takes is a call to 911 and the weman gets out first and turns the story around saying he abused her when its the othe way around. no one believes the man. and men are imbarest to say thier wife beats them up controls their life or is verbally or emotionally abusive. so their cries go unheard. Weman use trapping comments like, if you leave I will tell them the cops you hurt my child. their are a million ways Woman can abuse men too. so WHY is their hardly any resources for abuse men out there? And why are couarts and police and shelters bias tword woman treating them as though they arer the only victum. Thetyt assume that a woman would not lie about something like that but a man would. I guess my main worry on this is that doctor phil is bias too. or maybe he just did not know. 40 to 55% of domastic violence are Male! read the stitistics. just cause they don't report it as often does Not mean it does not happen.

 
April 23, 2009, 4:27 pm CDT

Where was MY shelter?

I couldn't believe,yet, another story about an abused woman.

I'm coming from the days before there were women's shelters. Only men got to have a homeless shelter. And I wasn't being abused by a husband. It was my bigger, younger brother--therefore, the cops, who were called often, couldn't-or said they couldn't, do anything. Standing in the doorway with a bloody nose, the phone torn off the wall. The whole time I was sick with lupus and confined to the house because of my illness. My Mom dead (cancer) and my Dad, paying the bills were not there to protect me from this chemically imbalanced  rager. I had to protect myself, stand up to my abuser, a knife in his hand against my throat. And where, I ask you, was my shelter?

I don't know why I get angry about other 'same situations'. I should be happy they have the help, even though I didn't . We still got through this.

Nancy

 
April 23, 2009, 4:55 pm CDT

Great show

I was in a domestic violence marriage for many years and the trauma still effects me. It is very, very difficult to ever trust again. I still have flashbacks about the problem. I still look over my shoulder every day. I have kids and he wants to see them. My children are teenagers and they sometimes choose to see their dad. The person will always try to destroy you if given the chance.
 
April 23, 2009, 5:30 pm CDT

04/23 How to Escape a Bad Marriage

Quote From: mommadiane

When Star was first on the show admitting she was an addict and needed help, Dr. Phil wasnt very empathetic towards her. He kept bringing up what she was doing. He was more empathetic and supportive with her abusive husband Issac by saying if you need help just call.  She was probably abused in some way before becoming an addict, probably contributing to her depression and use of pain meds. Almost all addicted women have been abused. Ive been in her place and could feel her pain and didnt think Dr. Phil was supportive.

are you kiddin me , there is no reason for a "mother" to start abusing drugs. If she was in an abusive marrage , she should have been strong enough and leave . To show her kids they mean more to her than her husband or drugs. This lady makes a mess out of everything and everyone around. I would not be suprise if she comes on the show in a few months from now back on drugs or new drama. she's a wreck. God bless those kids. They going to need lots of help.
 
April 23, 2009, 5:30 pm CDT

04/23 How to Escape a Bad Marriage

Quote From: mommadiane

When Star was first on the show admitting she was an addict and needed help, Dr. Phil wasnt very empathetic towards her. He kept bringing up what she was doing. He was more empathetic and supportive with her abusive husband Issac by saying if you need help just call.  She was probably abused in some way before becoming an addict, probably contributing to her depression and use of pain meds. Almost all addicted women have been abused. Ive been in her place and could feel her pain and didnt think Dr. Phil was supportive.

are you kiddin me , there is no reason for a "mother" to start abusing drugs. If she was in an abusive marrage , she should have been strong enough and leave . To show her kids they mean more to her than her husband or drugs. This lady makes a mess out of everything and everyone around. I would not be suprise if she comes on the show in a few months from now back on drugs or new drama. she's a wreck. God bless those kids. They going to need lots of help.
 
April 23, 2009, 9:00 pm CDT

04/23 How to Escape a Bad Marriage

Just wanted to express that I didn't think Starr's abuser was truthful when asked if he remembered the abuse.  I was abused for several years, before there were the resources to help get away, my ex always said he didn't remember or he blacked out, but he could sure remember when he was letting he buddies know what a big man he was.  I know that some abuser's don't really mean it, but give me a break, man up, admit what you've done, don't hide behind the phrase that "I blacked out, I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart"  I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
 
April 24, 2009, 4:44 am CDT

You are right she is only making things worse.

Quote From: muteheretic

are you kiddin me , there is no reason for a "mother" to start abusing drugs. If she was in an abusive marrage , she should have been strong enough and leave . To show her kids they mean more to her than her husband or drugs. This lady makes a mess out of everything and everyone around. I would not be suprise if she comes on the show in a few months from now back on drugs or new drama. she's a wreck. God bless those kids. They going to need lots of help.
Taking drugs is only making her situation worse. I was in an abusive relationship myself and the main reason why I left is to protect my child.my child meant more to me then the relationship. Children need some one to protect them. It is hard leaving an abusive relationship but you have to do it to protect yourself and mostly the children. That is not what love is about. If someone hits you or verbally abuses you they do not really love you. There is plenty of help out there to get out of an abusive relationship. You just have to take that first scary step and ask for help. If you know someone is being abused give them a number to call to get help. It is also not gods will for you to be abused. Just because your religion is against divorce does not mean you have to stay in the marriage and be abused. This is not gods will. God loves us unconditionally  and he always forgives us when we sin.It makes no sense! All I can add is that it takes alot of strenght to leave an abusive relatioship. Some woman never leave and suffer years of abuse and sometimes end up being killed. At least she is finally leaving.
 
April 24, 2009, 4:54 am CDT

I believe you it does happen to men.

Quote From: karalissa

I know a man whos story sounded exactly like that womans. and those resourses are NOT out there for them. why? cause sosiaty only helps the abused weman. all it takes is a call to 911 and the weman gets out first and turns the story around saying he abused her when its the othe way around. no one believes the man. and men are imbarest to say thier wife beats them up controls their life or is verbally or emotionally abusive. so their cries go unheard. Weman use trapping comments like, if you leave I will tell them the cops you hurt my child. their are a million ways Woman can abuse men too. so WHY is their hardly any resources for abuse men out there? And why are couarts and police and shelters bias tword woman treating them as though they arer the only victum. Thetyt assume that a woman would not lie about something like that but a man would. I guess my main worry on this is that doctor phil is bias too. or maybe he just did not know. 40 to 55% of domastic violence are Male! read the stitistics. just cause they don't report it as often does Not mean it does not happen.

I believe you when you say it happens to men too. Abuse has the same affect on anyone male or female. Abuse is always wrong. I do not know why there are no resouces for men that are being abused.
 
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