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Topic : 04/28 Need for Control

Number of Replies: 28
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 24, 2009, 02:52:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Telling you how to dress, when to take a shower and what to watch on TV sounds like normal behavior from a mother, but what about a wife? Yadia is a self-proclaimed control freak who says she cannot stop controlling everything and everyone in her life, and her family is saying, “Enough is enough!” Yadia says she even has her 18-year-old son, Michael, trained so well that he actually tells her when he goes to the bathroom. Her husband, David, says her behavior is so out of control, if she doesn’t change soon, a third separation is a definite possibility. How will Yadia do when Dr. Phil insists that David and Michael dress themselves and ride to the show in a separate vehicle from her? And the experiment doesn’t end there. Don’t miss what Yadia has to do before speaking with Dr. Phil. And, see what a typical day is like for this controller, and learn what is at the root of her anxious behavior. Do you like to control all the decisions, or do you know someone who does?

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 28, 2009, 4:02 pm CDT

need for control

Just want to say that show hit home.  I am not that bad but still control is control.  I have been in Yadias shoes....been raped, had a miscarriage, a single mom for 12 yrs and now someone in my life.....when we argue that is the controlling part of me...and I hate it.  Im a perfectionist as my daughter calls me.  Well I have been doing it on my own for soooo many years.  He is a great great guy and dont want to lose him for issues my past has made me to be today.  I want to thank you for this show.

 

 

 
April 28, 2009, 4:04 pm CDT

I can see why she has major control issues

 When I saw the show today on need for control ,  I saw why this woman feels the need to controls everything in her life , including her husband & her son .  Now my husband is not as extreme as she is with her controling issues , how ever my husband suffer's from OCD and that disorder in it's self is very controling,sufficating and strict. 
 
April 28, 2009, 6:20 pm CDT

Yadia has experienced some terrible things

Molestation. Rape. Abortion. But it`s time she quit making her husband and son do penance for it. David has already left twice. Michael will be leaving for college. Yadia will bd one lonely woman if she doesn`t loosen up.
 
April 28, 2009, 6:35 pm CDT

The Navy?

Seems like an awfully peculiar choice for such a control freak. In the service, you are under a chain of command. And, where does she get off, joining up without even telling him? But he can`t even put a damn gallon of gas in his car without her permission?
 
April 28, 2009, 6:46 pm CDT

Enablers

It doesn`t require a rocket science degree to see how this gal became so controlling. She is surrounded by enablers. Including her own mother. They let her get her own way in everything. My husband would have put up with her for five minutes. Before calling a lawyer!
 
April 29, 2009, 7:43 am CDT

Laugh

Hey Dr Phil:

Love the show and usually watch it!!  In response to the lady who needed to control show.........

I usually make the bed, and the other day my husband was in the bedroom and (as he does sometimes) he helped me.  Well, he was fooling with the sheets and smoothing them on and on and I said hey let's just make this bed and get on with the day........he said "oh, no I don't want to wind up on Dr. Phil."

Just a laugh for today
Zann
 
April 29, 2009, 9:15 am CDT

Dr.Phil STOP victimizing the PERPETRATOR!!!!!

    You do it CONSTANTLY!!!!! STOP excusing BAD behavior. NOT everyone is mentally ILL. I have actually HEARD people say "EVEN Dr. Phil says I can NOT help the way I am." or"I have mental problems. I can't help it!!!!!!!! YOU are NOT doing anyone ANY good. ESPECIALLY the ones who have  to LIVE with these people. You even EXCUSE moms that verbally abuse their kids. " Oh it's not YOUR fault you have anger issues." PLEASE!!!!!!! You're SUPPOSED to be an "HONEST" realistic person. So STOP BABYING people. This woman is lucky as HELL her husband is so easy going that he puts up with it. She's even MORE lucky that her son hasn't just left and moved out to get away from HER.
 
April 29, 2009, 10:15 am CDT

compassion

I totally understand how Yadia feels, I've been there.  Until I basically had a breakdown of my own I didn't realize that I needed help.  Now I continue to exercise everyday and take 50 mg Zoloft and I'm a changed person.  And I commend her husband for staying with her, at the beginning of the show I was like "why" but by the end of the show I could see "why", because he loves her.  My husband has stood by me through thick and thin and that was why I was able to make so many changes because I trusted he'd be there for me.  I want to be a better person because of him and my children and Yadia does too.  He's not an enabler he's a good husband.  Don't get me wrong he should stand is own with her, but he also should stand by her side, just like he's doing. 
 
April 29, 2009, 11:05 am CDT

Great Show

Dr Phil, as usual, gave the best advise and really broke down the real issues to try to help this woman.  Everybody always has opinions or ideas of how people that are control freaks should be treated/helped, but Dr. Phil really got down to the issue and I think will help this woman to change.

 

GREAT JOB DR. PHIL!! 

 
April 29, 2009, 11:56 am CDT

Now I get it!

Let me introduce myself.  My name Nadia, Jr.  While my family hasn't endured the extremes that her family has, they do live with a very controlling, difficult wife/mom.  I watched the show yesterday and just sobbed.  I felt EVERYTHING she did.  I identified with the pain she was feeling so acutely that it just drained me.  I, too, have had a serious of very unfortunate events happen to me when I surrendered control.  I never dreamed it would manifest in such a way in my home, but it has.  It makes 150% sense in my circumstance.  I don't always agree with everything Dr. Phil says, but he was right on with Nadia.

 

I've read all the previous posts that are critical of her and the especially strong criticism of Dr. Phil victimizing the perpretrator.  As angry as I am at your insensitive responses, I have to thank God that you obviously haven't been as deeply wounded.  Perhaps you have found other ways to walk through your valley.   I'm glad you have found a way to work through your "stuff", but don't stone those of us who are still dealing with our junk.  As soon as we find answers, I promise we want to fix ourselves.  For me, I begin today.

 
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