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Topic : 05/05 How to Be a Better Parent

Number of Replies: 69
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 01, 2009, 10:08:47 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have your children gone from little angels to kids gone wild? Are they whiney, tantrum-throwing, feet-stomping, door-slamming, spoiled and entitled? Well, good news, Mom and Dad! Dr. Phil launches his parenting boot camp and teaches parents how to take back control and live in peace for the very first time. Meet four families who say they live in chaos and can’t take it anymore. Tammie says her 11-year-old daughter is stubborn, uncooperative and annoying, and she finds herself with no desire to hug her. How can she rediscover that mother/daughter bond? And, Janice says her 11-year-old son is a spoiled little baby whose tantrums are so obnoxious, she’s ready to throw in the towel. Next, Tiffiny and Ron say their two oldest daughters make them regret becoming parents. They say living with their 14-year-old is like living with Hannibal Lecter, and the 10-year-old won’t stop lying. What are they doing wrong? And, Laureen is a single mom who says her 16-year-old daughter is so out of control, she could be headed for jail. How can these families regain control and find peace? Plus, see exciting updates on two mother/son pairs who left their madhouse for The Dr. Phil House last year. Remember the child who slapped his mother in the face? How are they doing one year later? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 5, 2009, 3:37 pm CDT

schizophrenia

Quote From: ramair

I think Dr Phil had a brain-fart when he made that comment.

Schizophrenia CAN be caused by environmental factors such as "I love you, go away" behaviors displayed by a primary caregiver before the brain is completely hardwired...which doesn't occur till about age 23. 
 
May 5, 2009, 3:48 pm CDT

disgusted

these parents shock me i cannot believe that these parents actually put themselves on tv saying these things its a disgrace i am devestated for these children who have to deal with these parents I have a masters degree in english and cannot find the words to explain my disgust for these parents none of these children asked to be treated this way or to be in this world

talk about planned parenthood

 
May 5, 2009, 4:19 pm CDT

05/05 How to Be a Better Parent

This show made me so angry to the point where I was not able to watch it all. Tammie really poed me off today to no end. She gets angry for whatever reason with husband number 1 and they split and she has his baby.  Now she's making the girl feel responsible for her father's bad actions. Now she replaces the dad with someone who's not her dad and has 2 more kids. She has bascially pushed her daughter aside to have her new family. I can understand why the daughter feels the way she does. that Tammie made me so angry when she called her daughter annoying. My 12 year old hugs me a lot but I don't mind I love her and happy she's here. If tammie didn't want to be a mom she should have never done the deed to have a baby plain and simple.
 
May 5, 2009, 4:28 pm CDT

To dani

Quote From: baby_doll_dani

I am a 22 year old woman that, trust me, has seen what you are going through with your daughter. when i was 3 my mother and father got divorced. at the age of 12 my mother married my step father. at 15 my mother had another baby, and then again when i was 17.

take it from someone that has been there. you're daughter acting the way she does is because she feels pushed aside. She feels as though you had to make room for the man in your life, who is not her father, and the new children. she clings to you because she wants to get back the way that life was before this all happened. preteens are not good with change. when the change comes, they look at it as a bad thing, until someone can prove that it will get better.

take what you can get with her now. Because eventually, unless you face it now, her clinginess will turn into rebellion. like i said i have been there. When i got into highschool i swear i turned into the worst child ever. my mother and i fought constantly, i strongly dislike my stepfather, i stayed out passed curfew, homework never got done, grades were so bad. then at 20 my mother and i got into a huge fight the week before christmas, and i left. just walked out the door and have not gona back since. my mother and i have talked since then and tust me i do love her, but our relationship will never be the same.

When your daughter was born and younger before the other children came along, you were probably close, she confided in you she wasnt so clingy. trust me when that goes away you will miss it.

I am saying all this because i would hate to see another girl have the same type of relationship with her mother as i do with mine. my mother used to be my best friend, now i just see her as someone i see occasionally. we talk from time to time, but it is nothing like it used to be.

love this moment, honestly love it. and please take the time you have to better your relationship and make something of it. because trust me you dont want to end up the mother and daughter that can barely stand eachother it isnt fun at all.

Don't listen to billieevans.  I'm sorry your relationship with your mom is so distant.  It sounds like you've overcome a lot and good for you for leaving that environment.  Hopefully you two can talk and come to an understanding someday before its too late.  I wish you good luck in life.
 
May 5, 2009, 5:38 pm CDT

Baby Doll Dani

Quote From: youknowwhat

Don't listen to billieevans.  I'm sorry your relationship with your mom is so distant.  It sounds like you've overcome a lot and good for you for leaving that environment.  Hopefully you two can talk and come to an understanding someday before its too late.  I wish you good luck in life.
I'm sorry..."youknowwhat" must have felt I was being disrespectful or something along those lines. That was no way my intent.

I said "I get it" and I mean, I get it. Same thing happened to my family. My dad left when I was two and my mom remarried when I was 13. It was horrific to me at the time. I hated my step dad for the same reasons you mentioned. I felt abandoned, especially when my mom had my sister when I was 15.  I was the last girl on the show today. Angry.

Anger is fear in disguise.

Now I'm 52. I spent many years being angry at my mom and step dad. Luckily, I came to peace with it all and realized that my mom did the BEST she could do with what she had. Just like I do as a mom, and just like you will do when you are a mom.  My step dad died 2 years ago and I was the one to take care of him for several months before  his last breath.  I came to love him like my biological father. He was everything to my mother. 

My mother died a month ago and I am so grateful that I did not hold onto that resentment from my teen years. She was an adult, and did what she felt she needed to do after many years of raising me alone.

I have no idea why youknowwhat made that comment about my posting.  I'm sorry if I offended you.
 
May 5, 2009, 6:16 pm CDT

wow

Quote From: cadescove99

These homes need values period. If not christian at least something. Too many children are raised with no values whatsoever. No wonder so many get into trouble.
Jesus and religion are not the only answer.  How many millions have been murdered under all religions in the name of God.
And I respect all religions and beliefs.  It is not a matter of Christianity lacking in  the home, it is a matter of simple humanism, being good to others with no ulterior motive.  Simple love and respect and that does not come packaged under Christianity alone.
I appreciate the basis of the comment but it is much bigger than this
 
May 5, 2009, 6:23 pm CDT

05/05 How to Be a Better Parent

Quote From: youknowwhat

Don't listen to billieevans.  I'm sorry your relationship with your mom is so distant.  It sounds like you've overcome a lot and good for you for leaving that environment.  Hopefully you two can talk and come to an understanding someday before its too late.  I wish you good luck in life.

My mother also resented me for being like my father. Everytime we would get into fights she would be "You're just like your dad!" , then she would ignore me for weeks at a time. I would talk to her and she wouldn't respond. My mom made it very clear to me at an early age that she didn't want me as her child. I knew this because of her body language, the tone she would talk to me and the things she would tell me. You know growing up my mother never hugged me just becuase, the only time she would show any sort of affection is after we would get into horrible knock down drag out fights. I still talk with my mother now and you know what she hasn't hugged me for over 2 years.  I just had a son in November and she still has yet to tell me that she's proud or happy for me and my new family. I've always bent over backwards to make my mother happy only to be met with resistance and disgust. I have some deep seeded issues with my mother even now and I'm 23. How can I possible bring myself to forgive someone for making me feel like the scum of the earth for over 20 years? If you don't do something now with your beautiful daughter you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.

 

You know what try something, try accepting your daughter for all that she is. Embrass her flaws and creativity she is unique and there will never be another peson like her in the entire world. If you keep pushing her away you're going to lose her forever.

 

I have a question what happeneds if this relationship with your other childrens father doesn't last and you end up hating him? Are you going to push away your other children?

 

My mother and I tried counseling when I was younger and honestly it didn't help and a big reason it didn't help is becuase she wouldn't admit she was part of the problem. She would always place the blame on me. In her eyes it was my fault I was fat, it was my fault nobody liked me, it was my fault she didn't love me.

 

 If you could put yourself in your daughters shoes and feel just a little bit of what she feels I'm sure you would change the way you interract with her.

 

As soon as you take an outside look in I'm sure you'll see how horrible you make your daughter feel.

 

I wish my mom could have been on this show. You are trully blessed in getting the help that your relationship with you and your daughter needs.

 

I wish you all the luck in the world. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers :)

 
May 5, 2009, 6:27 pm CDT

05/05 How to Be a Better Parent

Quote From: sunnyfl

Jesus and religion are not the only answer.  How many millions have been murdered under all religions in the name of God.
And I respect all religions and beliefs.  It is not a matter of Christianity lacking in  the home, it is a matter of simple humanism, being good to others with no ulterior motive.  Simple love and respect and that does not come packaged under Christianity alone.
I appreciate the basis of the comment but it is much bigger than this
Re-read my post. I did not say christian values were a must in every home. I said values were necessary. Such as knowing right from wrong. No religion has a monopoly on that.
 
May 5, 2009, 6:32 pm CDT

Yes, God is in our lives

Just to answer one of the comments about the show, I am Janice and my son Austin and I were on the show. Yes God is a very important part of our lives, we don't just say that we are christians it's a lifestyle for us. Even though we were on the show christians spoil their children also. I love my son and if you get a chance to continue watching the show, and hopefully it will be aired, aside of really seeing somethings that i was really doing to Austin, my love for God and what He could do for all of us on the show does get displayed......especially for Tammie!! All I can say is to tune in and I hope that people will try to see that there is really more than meets the eye here. I love her and Davia and I am glad i went on the show and got the chance to meet them.
 
May 5, 2009, 6:42 pm CDT

05/05 How to Be a Better Parent

Quote From: billieevans


Schizophrenia CAN be caused by environmental factors such as "I love you, go away" behaviors displayed by a primary caregiver before the brain is completely hardwired...which doesn't occur till about age 23. 
Yes, these influences can change a person`s thought patterns to the point that their brain chemistry is changed.
 
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