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Topic : 05/06 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 2

Number of Replies: 257
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 01, 2009, 10:09:41 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Four families tired of the fighting, yelling, chaos and conflict in their home move into The Dr. Phil House. Dr. Phil puts them to work right away with exercises and assignments that encourage the children to open up and the parents to confront their own mistakes. After hearing each other’s frustrations, will the parents wake up to what they’re doing wrong? One mom turns the camera on her daughter to show her bad behavior, but Dr. Phil sees something even more troubling. Are you making this common discipline mistake? If you knew you could be scarring your child for life, would you want to know? Tune in and learn how to parent your tween or teen in a way that will make him or her happy, secure and successful! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 6, 2009, 7:59 am CDT

Davia

I am so angry right now that I want to just reach into the TV and pull Davia out and wrap my arms around her and give her the love she must be so desperate to have.  My whole insides are a mess watching this mother antagonize and mock her child.  I want to cry for the pain Davia must be feeling.  I was a foster mother for over 65 children and have adopted 4 as well as birthed 2.  I am dealing with my 16 year old son now who has RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) and have been going through a lot with him but NEVER, NEVER, NEVER would I ever treat him the way Davia's mother has treated her precious child.   If things don't change immediately this child will never feel that she can be anything and will seen no meaning to her life.  Davia, if you get to read this, please know that you are a beautiful, precious creation by God and you were created to be exactly as you are.  Your mother has issues that she must work on to be the mother you deserve.  LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS.
 
May 6, 2009, 7:59 am CDT

Davia's Mother

I am so upset by the way this mother is treating her daughter.  She is absolutely and positively mentally abusing her daughter.  What kind of mother tells her daughter that she is a little b*tch, and she has no desire to love her nor have any feelings for her?  I could NEVER EVER imagine saying this to either of my children.  She should be ashamed of herself!!  Her daughter wants to be loved - that is all!  This mother is out of control and does not deserve to have her daughter.  I would really like to know the situation with the father?  Would this be a better living arrangement for this little girl?  This has upset me so much - I just can't believe someone could be so cold to their child - someone that they are supposed to love unconditionally.  Dr. Phil - please please do something to save Davia.  I worry for her.
 
May 6, 2009, 8:11 am CDT

parent bootcamp

I have watched your shows.  I have a question.  Why are the children NOT held accountable for their actions?  It seems like the point of the show is to show how "bad" the parents behave.  Is it not possible that the children deserve some of the reactions of the parent?  After the same prolonged behavior of the child I think that the parents are entitled to show the frustration that they feel.  I do feel so bad for the mom of the 16 year old.  Is it the mother's fault that her daughter cannot behave in school?  I do not think so.  i think that the mom of the 8 year old is a bit over the top.  But possibly she too has some right to her own feelings.  Why should a parent bury their feelings just to make the kid feel better?  Isn't this why most children today have the "entitlement" issues?  Parents just giving in and letting them have their way to keep peace in the house when the child knows all they have to do is pitch a fit and play the victim.  I do feel sorry for the parents more so than the children.
 
May 6, 2009, 8:14 am CDT

Take that child away!!

My gosh!!  I wanted to reach into the TV and slap that woman!!  (then hug Davia). I've been watching Dr. Phil ever since he was on Oprah and this is the first time I have ever posted on the message board ... I am so upset!!!  I have a wonderful 17-year-old daughter and would NEVER EVER talk to her that way!!  Tammy, GROW UP!!  You need serious help or I hope Dr. Phil will remove that child from the house!  My mom died when I was 11 and my dad married what I call to this day the wicked witch of the west ... she and her dad came after me with a crow bar and an ax when I was 19 and I'm now 53 and absolutely learned how NOT to treat my child because of how I was treated.  Dr. Phil, please get Tammy help or get Davia away from her!!
 
May 6, 2009, 8:22 am CDT

bewildered

I feel bad for the parents.  Are the chilldren not ever held accountable for their behavior?  Is it always the parent's fault?  I just do not understand. 

 

 
May 6, 2009, 10:17 am CDT

For the love of Davia

As the other messages about Davia's ( I use this term loosely) mother...I am very worried that Tammy is way beyond help or hope.  I don't know if there is treatment, therapy, drugs...or what have you to be able to fix this lady.

She still thinks it's Davia that has the problem...I am just beside myself with grief for that poor child.

I hope and pray for a miracle...cause I believe it will take one in this situation.  The others I believe there is absolute hope, but this case....not so sure..

I hope I am wrong...

 

I will pray!!!!

 
May 6, 2009, 10:20 am CDT

Furious

I have been a Dr. Phil fan for many years, but have never taken the time to register and post comments or even read message boards.  My anger after watching today's parenting show forced me to do so.  I just watched the portion of the show where the stone cold ("I don't like my weird daughter") mother verbally abused her daughter in the  bedroom.  I am absolutely shocked at the degradation, the mocking, calling her daughter a "little bitch" repeatedly, and chasing her about the room as if she was going to kill her.  I feel unbelievably sad for the daughter and would like to see her removed from the mother's home immediately, although it sounds as if her dad is a loser also.  This woman is a  MONSTER and must have some serious mental issues to treat her daughter (or any human being) in this manner.  I feel sick to my stomach.  She is a classic bully and does NOT deserve that child, or any child.  She is a child abuser.  
 
May 6, 2009, 12:40 pm CDT

Davia's mother

This woman is a horror show. She is a mentally abusive emotional infant. If this show doesn't help her that kid would be better of with DCF.
 
May 6, 2009, 12:42 pm CDT

Davia's Not The Problem

This mother thinks that her daughter is the problem and that her daughter is the most horrible thing to happen to her, as if she ruined her life.  Davia's mother has made the whole his situation to be about her by saying things like, "this is my last resort" and "i can't deal with you anymore."  The video was horrible and if anything Davia should be removed from her mother for Davia's sake and not her mother's. The mother should definetly receive some kind of other help beyond this show.
 
May 6, 2009, 12:43 pm CDT

Thank you.

Quote From: tcsjhs

I feel bad for the parents.  Are the chilldren not ever held accountable for their behavior?  Is it always the parent's fault?  I just do not understand. 

 

I've been the best parent and I've been the worst. I'm human. I try every day to do the next right thing...sometimes I'm batting 100, other times I fail horribly.  Kids need to understand this, that we are just like them...human beings with flaws and defects. They don't want to see that. They want to believe that we have all the answers and when we don't they are conflicted.

As young children, we did have all the answers, in their eyes. Then they grow up and THEY are often smarter than we are. WE often can't handle this and resort to the techniques OUR parents used to reel our kids back in. Sadly, it doesn't work. ..

Parents are human. They are not just mom and dad.

That being said, I'm watching Tammi berate and mock Davia. Wow......while that is so wrong, we've got to remember that as parents, everything we learned about parenting was taught to us by our own parents. It is very difficult to change a family legacy, BUT, it can be done with LOTS of work. Tammi is just behaving the way her parents/caregivers treated her. IMO. She needs help. She does not need to have her daughter removed

Regardless, the kids need to be held accountable too.


 
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